Remadora: The bright pink sun in the sky
by pleione-x
Summary: "'I think that's a very good combination, surprising at first but actually, really great.' Tonks said smiling and he looked at her tenderly. They did not need to try, they never did, everything was natural between them." Their story, from beginning to end. Rated T because of non explicit sex scenes and language; Disclaimer : Everything belongs to J K Rowling;
1. Pink hair & clumsiness

___Hello readers, this is my very first fanfiction. So don't hesitate to review and give me advice or just your opinion, I will be glad to read them! I tried not to make to many mistakes but if I did I am very sorry. So I saw everyone does that so I tell you that I do not own Harry Potter, all the characters belong to J.K Rowling._

I re-edited this chapter AGAIN.

* * *

_"All I knew this morning when I woke is I know something now, know something now I didn't before. And all I've seen since 18 hours ago is green eyes and freckles and your smile in the back of my mind making me feel like I just want to know you better now._" Everything has changed - Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran.

* * *

Remus and Sirius were sitting at the kitchen table of Grimmauld Place. They were both expecting Mad-Eye to talk to give them news about the Order. The Order of the Phoenix would gather again, just like the Phoenix it would come from its aches. They heard the door opening and closing and waited to see the old man walk through the door of the kitchen. They heard something fall and the Sirius's mother yell again.

"Blood traitors in my house, Filthy half breed, shape-shifters! no half-blood in the honourable Black house" Remus walked to the corridor to see what had happened and found out that Mad-Eye was not alone. He was followed by a young woman with purple-pinkish hair which had just turned redish. It must have been the light, he thought. He had never seen this woman, because he would have remembered her. Mad-Eye closed the curtains with the help of Sirius and finally the picture stopped yelling insults.

"Ugh... Sorry." The young woman said a little embarrassed. As she looked up at him he saw her big shiny brown eyes and he couldn't help but smile at her. Remus saw Mad-Eye rolled his eyes as if he was not surprised.

"Nymphadora Tonks" Moody presented her as he continued walking.

"Don't call me Nymphadora, Mad-Eye." She looked annoyed and Remus would have sworn her hair had turned a little red again but a different one, a real flashy one. "It's Tonks. Just Tonks." She told them smiling.

"Remus Lupin" he introduced himself, trying to keep a polite smile.

They walked together to the kitchen but she kept staring at Sirius.

"Sirius" she said smiling.

"Nymphadora?" Sirius questioned looking surprised.

"Tonks, just Tonks now." She insisted "It's been such a long time!"

"Thirteen years."

She went closer to him, and they hugged like two friends who haven't seen each other for a long time. Actually they were. When they broke apart Sirius looked at Mad-Eye.

"Alastor! Why didn't you tell me you were bringing her?" Sirius said looking from Mad-Eye to Tonks again and again.

"I thought you'd like the surprise." Mad-eye said almost smiling. That was getting even more strange.

"Will you eventually tell me how you two know each other?" Remus asked waiting.

"Sorry Remus, Nymph-"Tonks shot him a death glare. "Tonks, sorry, is my… let's say cousin. Her mother, Andromeda is my cousin."

"We're the shame of the Black family" said Tonks smiling at Remus

"Well, I hope you're proud of it" he answered smiling.

"Very proud." She nodded still smiling.

"Very well, you all like each other but Remus, Sirius. I just wanted to bring Tonks today so you'd talk to her a bit about the Order since you were both in it last time."

"She's joining?" said Sirius surprised. Tonks looked clearly annoyed by the surprise but Mad-Eye answered him.

"Do not underestimate her. She's one of the best Aurors I've ever trained." Mad-Eye looked at Tonks, she was smiling at him, and Remus was sure that Mad-Eye even if he was not smiling had kind of a smile in his eyes, or pride maybe. He cared about her Remus could just tell it. "Now I have to go. See you at the next meeting." And he walked out of the kitchen.

"Butterbeers for everyone?" asked Sirius and they both nodded. They all sat at the table, Sirius on one side and Remus and Tonks on the other.

"So Nymphadora tell-"

"Don't call me Nymphadora" said Tonks, and now Remus was sure that her hair had turned red.

"Your hair… What… It turned red." Said Remus surprised

"Oh. I'm a metamorphmagus." She looked at him smiling with very mischievous eyes which turned blue.

"How fascinating.." he whispered and he passed his fingers through her hair without realizing what he was doing. He moved his hand quickly as he realized and coughed trying to act distracted.

"I can change everything, my eyes colour, my nose. I can look like somebody else if I want to but if I really look completely different it kind of hurts." She said still looking at him but her smile was fading as though she was thinking about the feeling of changing too much. But she smiled again and her eyes changed from brown to a very light blue "see?" she asked

"Wow" Remus looked at her eyes; it was actually really interesting to look at that change. He really was fascinating by her gift. He had heard very little about Metamorphmagus it was a really rare gift. "But do you morph every morning? Or do you keep your natural colour?" Her eyes turned brown again. Remus could look at her all days long.

"My eyes are normal now. So is my face actually." Remus thought she was incredibly beautiful. Not a normal beautiful, she had something that he'd never seen in anyone.

"You don't need any change at all." He said starting to smile and realized how inappropriate it was. He took a sip of his butterbeer to avoid her gaze as he felt very embarrassed.

"But my natural hair colour is really bad: a mousy brown. I look so depressed when it's like this."

"Pink suits you very well." Remus said smiling but then he realized that he was talking to her like he already knew her.

"Excuse me!" Sirius said looking at both Tonks and Remus rosing an eyebrow. "So I was wondering, Tonks , what made you become an Auror?"

" Well, I don't really know. I've never thought about anything else since I discovered this path of career. It's always been very logical to me."

"Not scared, uh?" Sirius said smiling on the corner of his mouth.

"Well, I can be. If you're never scared it becomes dangerous but I can control my fears. But I'm not easily scared if that's what you're asking." Remus smiled when he listened to her. That girl was determined.

"And what are you doing Remus?" she asked turning to him and took a sip of her butterbeer.

"I – uh – I'm not doing anything for the moment. I have some trouble finding, or keeping, a job due to my – uh –" Remus started

"I know you're a werewolf, Mad-Eye told me a bit about the people in the Order so I know." she smiled "So you can tell the word" she added with a wink. That girl was something, he thought.

"So you don't mind?" he asked.

"Why would I?" she answered quickly.

"I'm sorry Tonks, my friend, here, always think that people will reject him." Sirius answered sarcastically.

"They have reasons to." Remus said, looking at the table.

"No they don't." she said. He was surprised, for, it was something he rarely heard. He turned to her and was surprised to see she was looking at him, not smiling but not sad or angry but determined.

"I am dangerous." Remus said quietly.

"I agree that you are on full moons, and only if you don't take Wolfsbane potions. Only at that time but the rest of the time you're human. You're not just a werewolf." He didn't know her but her words touched him. Maybe it actually was the fact that he didn't know her that it touched him so much because it seemed normal to her. That woman was something, it hadn't been long since he had met her but she only kept surprising him.

He didn't know what to answer to this and was relieved when Sirius talked for him.

"I think Remus is too used to hear people saying bullshit to understand it. You missed me for twelve years, uh?" he said smiling.

"Of course, Padfoot." Remus chuckled.

"You two've know each other since the first war? I remember my mother talking about you and your Hogwarts friends" Tonks asked Sirius.

"We know each other since our first year at Hogwarts. We met James Potter there, and an awful traitor coward that I would like to kill with my own hands that used to be our friend back in time. We were the Marauders."

"You're the Marauders? I've heard about you in Hogwarts, they talked about a map."

"Yeah. One of our creations of genius" Sirius said smiling but then his smile faded. Remus looked at him and he knew he was thinking about James.

"I miss him." Sirius eventually said. Tonks was looking uncomfortable so Remus decided to explain to her.

"James Potter was our friend since the first year in Hogwarts and so was Peter Pettigrew. We were the Marauders and we used to do everything together. Sirus, James and Peter became Animagi for me. Sirius is a dog, James a stag and Peter a rat. When the first war came, we were in the Order of the Phoenix, fighting against Voldemort and the Death Eaters. We learned that Voldemort wanted James and Lily very bad. He really was after them, so we needed a secret keeper as Dumbledore is for this house. At first, Sirius wanted to do it because he said that he'd rather die than give his friend. But then they thought that they'd go to Sirius first because he was James real best friend so they asked Peter. But Peter betrayed James and gave the secret to Voldemort. He killed James, and he tried to kill their son Harry but Lily stood between them and then, we don't know exactly what happened. The curse apparently rebounded on him and then you must know what happened next."

Tonks was looking at him, listening to him very carefully. Remus remembered everything like it had happened the day before.

"I'm sorry you lost your friend." She said looking at Sirius but looked back at Remus and put her hand on his forearm. He smiled sadly at her, but it was his way to say thank you. She was looking at him with such sympathy that it surprised Remus.

They kept talking the whole afternoon, about the Order, and how it had been the last time. Time flew that afternoon and Remus realized that he was really glad he had met her. A new person, so lively and kind.

It was time for her to go. It was already 10 pm and she had to wake up early so Sirius and Remus walked with her out of the room. Sirius walked back in the kitchen yelling because Kreacher had been insulting them again so Tonks and Remus were left alone.

"It was a pleasure to meet you Nymphadora" said Remus smiling but trying not to smile too much.

"Pleasure was mine Remus. And don't call me Nymphadora." She did not seem angry, her hair didn't turn red..

"Sorry, Tonks." He nodded still smiling. Her hair was turning more fuchsia than bright pink. He looked at her hair; he was still surprised of the change. She noticed his surprised look and she smiled amusedly at him.

They continue to walk in the corridor and she tripped again on the umbrella stand. Remus caught her around the waist so that she wouldn't fall and managed to catch the umbrella stand with his foot inches from the floor and avoided the picture to wake up again.

"Thank you and sorry" she said her hair turning redish. He still had his arm around her back, his hand on her forearm to steady her.

"You don't need to be" he told her, still smiling he realized he was still holding her arm: he quickly removed it and opened the door.

"Well, Good night Remus" Tonks was smiling warmly at him.

"Good Night" Remus said and she disapparated.

Remus closed the door and his smile wouldn't fade.


	2. The First Meeting

_Disclaimer : I do not own Harry Potter and any of the characters.  
I Hope you'll like this second chapter._

It was the first meeting of the summer, the first meeting of Tonks. Remus was in the kitchen, sitting, waiting with Sirius for everyone to come so they would go in the living room. Mundungus Fletcher was in the same room, Mad-Eye had just arrived and Tonks eventually came. Almost falling because of the umbrella stand and as he heard the noise, Remus got up but she already was at the door of the kitchen.  
"Wotcher everyone" she said smiling.  
"Who's that freak?" said Mundungus. He could be really stupid sometimes. "Are we taking kids now? And with her pink hair-"But he was cut by the sight of Tonks's wand.  
"Freak?" she asked looking so angry her hair turned red.  
"How old are you? Twelve? with your pink or red hair!" He continued and he pointed his wand at Tonks.  
Remus didn't know why he did that but he put out his wand, pointing it at Mundungus.  
"If you insult her, leave." He said calmly.  
Mad Eye hadn't realize until that moment and looked at all of them.  
"What are you all doing?"  
"That stupid arse insulted me" said Tonks.  
"Mundungus lower your wand right now; same for you Tonks and Lupin" Mad-Eye looked at Tonks "please don't kill anyone today." And he walked away and Tonks looked at Mundungus still very angry.  
"If you ever insult me again, I swear you will regret the day you were born" and he walked away. She looked at Remus, a bit less angry "thanks but I can take care of myself"  
"I know" he answered.  
"So why did you do this?" she asked raising her eyebrows.  
"I don't know. I don't like him very much and I didn't like seeing him insulting you. That's all. I know you could have knocked him down in a second. I don't doubt it." He stopped; she was looking at him surprised. "So, the umbrellas stand again, uh?"  
"Yeah. I can be a bit clumsy" she was starting to relax because her hair was turning pink again. He was smiling, without realizing he was, looking at her hair.  
"You'll get used to it" she said in a soft voice.  
"I don't think I can" he said and he chuckled. _  
_The meeting started and then Molly Weasley said she had prepared dinner for everyone who would like to stay. Mundungus left because he said he had business to do. And there were only Sirius, Arthur and Molly Weasley, Mad-Eye who said he'd stay a bit, Kingsley, Remus and Tonks.  
Tonks said to Remus, so he could be the only one to hear " I should go. I don't know Mr and Mrs Weasley. You all know each other.."  
"No stay. Molly will really appreciate if you stay. I would too." He said nicely.  
"Ok" And everyone sat, Tonks next to Lupin.  
After the dinner had started Tonks got up and said "Do you need any help Mrs Weasley?"  
"Oh no but thank you. Everything's ready. Don't worry. Just enjoy your first dinner with the meeting."  
"Okay" and she sat again. "I should've helped" she murmured  
"It's alright." He poked her elbow. "Don't worry you know."  
"Usually I don't, you know, but everyone already know each other I don't want people to think I'm a selfish stupid girl."  
"No one thinks that of you."  
"How do you know?" she asked sarcastically.  
"Because I don't." he said "Molly and all the people here won't judge you, especially not Molly."  
"She does seem very nice, I know her son, Bill. We were at Hogwarts at the same time but we weren't in the same house."  
"In what house were you?" he asked smiling.  
"Hufflepuff, you're a Gryffindor weren't you?" she asked smiling back.  
"Yes I was. How do you know? Well, you must have known Sirius was" He said talking as he was thinking at the same time.  
"Yes, but I don't know. It's something I can tell."  
"I hesitated between Gryffindor and Hufflepuff for you."  
"So did the Hat"  
And they talked the whole evening and Remus thought it went to fast. They walked to the door together, as Sirius was talking with Arthur and Molly was just checking something in the kitchen.

"So, you don't regret joining us?" he asked smiling at her.  
"Not at all, I'm motivated. And I think I've met great people here."  
"Yes they are." She shook her head smiling. They were at the door, and he opened it for her.  
"It was very nice talking with you tonight." She said. There was something about her, she was smiling most of the time, and her eyes were so shiny. She was the kind of girl that you could only like.  
"I agree" he said and put his hand in his hair trying to act cool  
"Goodnight Remus" she said smiling. Her smile is beautiful he thought.  
"Goodnight Nymphadora"  
"Tonks. It's Tonks" she said trying to look angry but she was smiling.  
"Why don't you like your name?"  
"Nymphadora? Seriously? I don't know why the hell my mother gave me that name."  
"I think it's very beautiful actually."  
"Because it's not _your_ name" said Tonks  
"Well I'm sorry. Goodnight Tonks" he said smiling.  
She smiled and disapparated.


	3. I'll catch you

_Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters. _  
_I'm sorry this chapter is a bit long, but the first part was really short and I thought you'd like it longer. I Hope you actually like it. Don't hesitate to review to tell me what you think, or advice or anything! _

The full moon was a week ago. Remus was very tired but he wouldn't let this stop him from going to a meeting. But apparently everyone had noticed he was tired because Molly said "Oh dear, you look very tired. You shouldn't have come. Get some rest" and Sirius, the nicest of all said "Bloody Hell mate, you're horrible" which made Remus laugh because that was what Sirius already said when they were in Hogwarts together. But what made him feel almost better was Tonks's concerned look. He knew it was bad to think that because it shouldn't be different from anyone.  
"Watcher Remus" she started "You're okay?" she asked with this look that made Remus feel almost better.  
"Yes. The full moon was a week away I'm a bit tired that's all." He shrugged trying to faint a smile.  
She tried to smile back but her concerned look hadn't faded at all. "Really I'm fine" he insisted, smiling because he thought it was really sweet of her, as he put his hand on her shoulder.  
"You know no one would mind if you decided to rest after full moons."  
"I know people wouldn't miss me" he chuckled "but I'd rather not miss a meeting."  
"That's not what I meant!" she said looking surprised and embarrassed because it was not what she meant at all. "I just mean –"  
"I know" he said smiling putting his hand closer to her neck.  
And everyone started to move to the living room and sat around the table and Remus and Tonks followed. The meeting proceeded normally, they talked about the reports of missions, the next missions coming and Molly announced that her family would live here at the end of the summer and Harry would joined them too.  
At the end, most of the people were leaving and Remus was in the kitchen, listening to Arthur and Sirius's conversation. Tonks walked toward him smiling.  
"Thinking about the moment you'll get into your bed?" she said  
"Yeah." He laughed "I'll feel better in a few days."  
"I hope so" she said as she poked him. Remus thought he was very lucky to have someone who cared about him but he also felt bad to think that. He knew he shouldn't. But he was distracted when Sirius talked to them.  
"Remus, you'll help me clean the house of course?" he said smiling. Like they had the choice, thought Remus.  
"Yes I will Sirius. Because I know you wouldn't do it on your own" he said smiling.  
"I can help too" said Tonks smiling.  
"We can do it you know. You don't need to –"started Remus but he was cut by Sirius.  
"If the girl wants to help, she will" said Sirius.  
"Ok, tell me when you start."  
They all sat in the living room but then Remus had a blank because he fell asleep. He was sitting in the chair in the living room and he could only hear "Remus" in a soft and sweet voice. "Remus?" and he felt something in his hair, he realized someone was caressing him he tried to wake up but he was very sleepy. "Remus" and he could hear a smile in the voice and he even recognized the voice. It was Tonks's voice. He decided to open his eyes and he could see her; her bright pink hair and her shiny brown eyes. She was smiling at him, she was still caressing him softly with her fingers but when he had his eyes wide open she stopped.  
"You've fallen asleep." She said smiling.  
"Oh sorry" he said trying to sit correctly. She was still smiling at him with so much tenderness.  
"I'm the last one here; I thought I'd wake you up. I thought you'd prefer sleeping in your bed."  
"Thank you" he said smiling back at her but feeling a bit embarrassed for falling asleep.  
"Did he wake up?" shouted Sirius from the kitchen.  
"Yes he did" she answered "And I didn't need water, or my feet or to shake him if that's your question"  
"How did you do it?" he passed his head at the door of the kitchen looking perplexed.  
"I have my own methods" she said smiling. Remus was still a bit sleepy.  
"Yeah right." Said Sirius and he went to the kitchen again.  
"I'll walk you to the door" said Remus smiling. They walked out of the kitchen and they were in the corridor. "You know you don't have to do the cleaning for the Weasley" he said still with a sleepy voice which made him wonder how she could actually take him seriously with that voice.  
"Or maybe you just don't want me to come" she turned to him, raising her eyebrows.  
"No of course not. I don't want you to feel obliged. That's all."  
"Yeah right" she said smiling like he was lying.  
"No, really, I think it will be much better and funnier with you. I don't doubt that." She starting to smile at him, a real smile.  
"Ok" and they were at the door, he opened it for her.  
"Goodnight Tonks" he said smiling and then she hugged him. He didn't know how to react first; she had suddenly put her arms around his neck holding him tight. And after a few seconds he hugged her back putting his arms tight around her. "And go to your bed, sleep and feel better, ok?" she said and he could hear her smile in her voice.  
"I will" he answered and they broke apart.  
"Goodnight Remus." She finally said and she disapparated.

-

After a few days Remus went to Grimmauld Place and Sirius had sent an owl to Tonks saying they would start and she could come when she had time.  
"So, where do we start?" asked Remus.  
"Well, we need a bedroom for Arthur and Molly, the twins, Ron and Harry, and the two girls and we'll do another in case someone wants to stay." He said counting on his fingers.  
"That makes 5 bedrooms, which ones?"  
"There's 2 on the first floor, 2 on the second floor and we'll take one on the third."  
"Okay"  
Remus went in one of the room on the first floor and Sirius went in one upstairs. Remus was trying to open a cupboard when he heard "Watcher Remus!"  
"Hello Tonks. Still motivated, uh?" he said smiling.  
"Always! Where's Sirius?" she asked looking the room.  
"Upstairs, you can go help him if you want." He said, pointing his wand at the cupboard.  
"I think I'll stay here" she started, smiling, and he turned to look at her. "You're feeling better?" she asked still smiling sweetly.  
"Yeah. Yes I'm feeling better, thanks. And uh- hum- I'm fighting with this cupboard right now. I suspect something's in it." He was feeling a bit embarrassed because he was still surprised by the fact that she could enjoy his company.  
"Why don't you just burn it? Whatever it is it must not be good." She said and he raised his eyebrows.  
"Well, I don't want to set _the house_ on fire." And he smiled.  
"Well, you know what we do. I set it on fire you get ready to stop it, okay?" she paused "Oh come on Remus!" and he eventually nodded.  
"She looked at the cupboard, pointed her wand and said _Incendio_ and the cupboard took fire, moved a lot and after a few seconds Remus said _Aguamenti_ and it was stopped by the water.  
He kicked it and the door opened, or fall actually. And nothing was in it.  
"It worked" she said smiling.  
"You're lucky" he answered smiling.  
"Yeah right!" she laughed "I call this talent."  
"We should clean the wall a bit. There's something there" and she started walking on a pile of books and files to see better the top of the wall.  
"Careful, you're gonna fall on this."  
"Oh, are you worrying for me Remus?" she said smiling  
"Look where you put your feet!" he said pointing at a book who was almost falling as she was about to put her foot on it. He smiled and walked on another pile of books. And what must happened, happened thought Remus and she was losing balance. He walked quickly toward her and caught as she was falling.  
"Told you" he whispered smiling as he was still holding her by the waist, his hand on her back.  
"Oops" she said smiling and kissed him quickly on the cheek. "Thanks. Next time maybe I'll listen to you."  
"Maybe" he repeated as he rolled his eyes and they laughed. He was thinking about the way she was with him. She was hugging him or kissing him and that surprised him because no women in his life wanted to be close to him, or maybe he never let any. But with her, he didn't mind. It was natural with her.  
"Let's continue, shall we?" she asked smiling with mischievous eyes.  
"Yes, right. Good idea."  
"Maybe we should open the windows because it really smells weird! And we should clean the dust!"  
"Good idea." She chuckled. They walked to the windows and opened it. They even needed to be two to open them because it was old and tough. When they finally opened the second window Tonks almost fell on him. They were so close to each other, she smiled half embarrassed, half amused.  
"Seems like I can't stop catching you."  
"Seems like it." She said smiling. "Thanks… again." She added.  
"You know you can stop thanking me." He said smiling.  
"Okay, your choice Remus."  
The thing was that they were still inches from each other's face, he was holding her and she had both her hands on his chest. After a few seconds they broke apart and Remus coughed trying to act normal but he was passing his hand on his hair, the thing he always did when he was nervous or not feeling quite comfortable.  
"So, do you think there's something under the bed?"  
"I reckon it's is possible"  
"How do we do, Professor?" she looked at him smiling. Remus realized she loved teasing him he could see the way she was looking at him when she was doing that, she just wanted to laugh.  
"I think we look under it" He answered and chuckled.  
They moved the sheets that recovered the whole bed and leaned to look under it. Tonks pointed her wand and said "Lumos". They were both looking under it and saw nothing but a box.  
"Accio box" Remus said.  
He took it in his hands and shook it to see if there was anything in it; he looked at Tonks to see if she had an idea of what they could do.  
"Well I think we can open it" Tonks said and Remus put it on the bed and try to open it but he didn't succeed. Tonks had already pointed her wand and said "Alohomora" in a calm voice.  
The box opened and Remus looked at her and said "Thanks" and she just smiled back. She was really pretty when she smiled he thought. She had a shy smile this time; her shiny brown eyes completely illuminated her face and her light pink hair, it was almost blonde. It made her look even more pretty. He stopped looking at her because he thought she'd think he was weird. But she really was pretty, he wished he could concentrate but it was hard.  
There were only pictures and papers in the box Tonks was about to touch them when Remus said "Wait!" and he pushed her hand away.  
"Specialis Revelio" he said, nothing happened.  
"May I?" she asked looking at him looking almost upset because of the way he pushed her hand away. Her hair was turning red  
"Yes you may. Sorry that I thought there could be something that could hurt you or kill you."  
She didn't say anything and took the pictures in her hands and looked at them.  
"What is it?" Remus asked. He hoped she would answer because he thought she was really mad at him.  
"Pictures" she said. He didn't say anything. She was mad, that was a fact.  
"Oh, really? I thought it was a teddy bear." Remus said really seriously. She didn't move her head but he saw her eyes looking at him now. She was almost smiling so he smiled at her. And eventually she smiled back at him and the red part of her hair was getting pinker. He felt better; he didn't want her to be mad at him. He really enjoyed her company. She handed him the pictures and he took them with one of his hand as his other hand was catching her wrist.  
"I'm sorry I was a bit harsh on you. But we can't be too careful, can we?" he told her smiling a bit.  
She nodded and eventually she said "You're right." And he released her wrist very gently and carefully.

_Have a good weekend! I think I'll update on Monday. :)_


	4. Fear

_Disclaimer : I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters. _

The next day after they finished cleaning the room Tonks got new sheets and they decided to make the bed. She handed him one corner of the sheets and started putting it on the bed. When they eventually put the duvet on; Tonks laid on it and said "I'm tired. How many rooms are left?"

He sat on the edge of the bed and he answered: "Well without the one Sirius's cleaning we have 3 rooms left. And this one was the easiest."  
"Oh my god." She said trying to look desperate almost faking death.  
"Aren't you... I don't know, exaggerating a bit?"  
"Me? Never." She laughed.  
"Come on Nymphadora" he said looking at her.  
"Stop calling me Nymphadora, Remus"  
"Oh yeah and what will you do?" he laughed thinking that would make her move but instead grabbed him and made him fall on the bed. He had his head on her belly. He thought she'd made him move but she did not and he stayed  
"I thought you'd have to get up. I didn't think it that way" Remus said.  
"Mr Lupin, do you never enjoy a little lazy time?" she said smiling again  
"It happens. But Sirius will get angry at us if we stay here doing nothing."  
"Oh please. Can't we just get a little rest before going into a weird dirty room again?"  
"Yes we can" and he finally relaxed and he felt her hand in his hair. He didn't bother. He didn't know why but he liked being close to her. It felt very natural even though they didn't know each other since that long. He closed his eyes and just concentrated on her. Of course he was not being honest with himself. He was attracted to her. How could he not be he thought, he trying to force himself to believe that it was normal to be attracted to her.  
"Remus?" she asked  
"Yes" he answered opening his eyes again, hoping she hadn't noticed. She didn't say anything, he moved his hand to look at her and he repeated "Tonks?"  
"Nothing sorry." She answered but he was sure she had something to say.  
"No, tell me." He was still looking at her, she was looking at the wall, lost in her thoughts.  
"You don't think I'm weird, right? I mean, I know… Oh shit I should've just shut up."  
"No, go on" he said.  
"I'm not annoying you, am I?" she said. He was sure she hold her breath a few seconds after she said these words.  
"No you're not." He started and he realized that maybe she was feeling bad because of him "I know, I can seem a bit cold sometimes. It's just that I'm not exactly the kind of man who expresses, well, anything actually. But it doesn't mean I'm annoyed."  
"Oh, right. I kind of realized that you were no like this but I was scared that you didn't like me being all around you. I'm not always like this it's just when I feel comfortable with someone."  
"So you feel comfortable with me?" he asked surprised.  
"Yeah. I mean, yes of course."  
"Now I think you're weird." He said and chuckled.  
"Why?" she asked surprised.  
"Well, first of all I'm a werewolf in case you've forgotten. And I'm old. And like this wasn't enough I'm poor. So yes I'm a bit surprised that you can be comfortable with someone like me. "  
"In case you've forgotten, I could not give less interest in that. I'm comfortable with you because you don't make fun of me, I mean, in a mean way. You don't think I'm stupid because I have pink hair and you're really interesting. You're so smart and you don't judge."  
"Yes but-"  
"But what? I don't see why what you said should matter"  
"I'm an outcast. Usually when people know what I am they don't want to know me."  
"Well, they are very stupid."  
He chuckled; she still had her fingers in his air, caressing it. How could she be annoying, he thought. She was so sweet and funny, the fact that she was clumsy made her cute.  
"Maybe we should start a new room, don't you think?" he asked even if he didn't want to move at all.  
"Maybe" she repeated and he heard her laugh.  
He sat on the bed, taking a look at her she was looking at him and when she understood he was really getting up she turned her head and said "no" and laughed.  
"Come on!" and he gave her a hand and she eventually took it and he pulled her out of the bed.  
"You're not funny Remus" she said looking at him and she stroke her tongue to him.  
"I know Nymphadora" she turned to him "Tonks" and he smiled as an apology.  
They walked in the corridor and headed to the room where Sirius. He hadn't heard them coming and Tonks shouted "Wotcher Sirius!"  
"Merlin's sake! Tonks!" Sirius shouted as Remus laughed at him being scared by her. Sirius loved doing jokes to everyone but he didn't want to be the victim of one. Remus could remember James doing pranks to Sirius in the dormitory of course with the help of Remus of course.  
"Do you need some help?" Tonks asked with a big smile.  
"Yeah, there's something in this cupboard I don't know what it is I was too busy with that thing" Sirius said, kicking in something and putting out his wand.  
Tonks went to the cupboard, take her wand and opened it. Remus thought she should have wait a second but it was too late.  
Something came out of the cupboard, something very black like a black cloud and suddenly it turned into Mad-Eye Moody. Remus understood it was a boggart.  
The figure of Mad-Eye Moody started talking "You useless girl, with your ridiculous hair! You are the worst Auror I've ever trained! Your parents must be asham-" Mad-Eye Moody suddenly turned into a full moon, Remus was used to it even if of course he hated seeing that. It only lasted a second.  
"Riddikulus !" shouted Remus. Tonks wasn't moving. She was staring at the place where Mad-Eye Moody was talking. Even Sirius was staring at her.  
"Are you alright?" Remus said very calmly. She didn't say a thing for a few moments.  
"Yeah, sorry; I'm fine." She started smiling and said "I'll go get some drinks" and she went out of the room. Remus looked at Sirius for a moment, they didn't say a thing but Remus understood that he would be the one checking on her.  
Remus followed her; she had run to the kitchen she was looking at the fridge. Remus stayed at the door and leant on the wall.  
"Are you alright Tonks?" he asked calmly.  
"Yes, I'm fine. It's just a boggart, I've already seen one. I'm just surprised. That's it." She said still looking into the fridge.  
"Nothing new is going to appear in that fridge if you just stare at it" She closed it but she did not look at him.  
He walked to her and put a hand on his shoulder.  
"Do you want me to leave?" he asked. She did not answer and he put off his hand and he waited a few seconds and he started leaving.  
"Please don't." she said, still not looking at him. He heard her voice breaking at the end. He walked towards her again and she turned to him. Her eyes were red and she must have wiped her tears but there were just new ones falling again.  
"I'm sorry it's stupid" she said with a hoarse voice.  
"It's not." And he took her in his arms. She was crying silently but he could feel her trying to catch her breath. He caressed her back and they stood in the kitchen like this for a few minutes.  
They broke apart, she wiped her tears.  
"Don't tell Sirius I cried please" she said in a calm voice.  
"I won't" he answered.  
She started walking to the door. Remus thought he ought to tell her that what she heard was completely wrong. But he didn't know how to say and if he didn't say it now if would miss his chance.  
"You're not useless" he said and he thought that was the worst thing you could say to someone. _You're not useless_ how stupid he thought.  
"What?" she turned to look at him.  
"You're a very great witch… and a great Auror. Mad-Eye respects you very much which is saying something when we talk about him... Your hair aren't ridiculous, it actually looks very great. And even if I don't know them I'm sure that your parents might be proud of you because… how could they not? You're a very good person, you're kind and smart. You're funny too." And he decided to shut up right now because he thought he was saying too much.  
She smiled at him and said "Thank you" and she walked to the room again.  
"You forgot the drinks." He said smiling.  
"Oh, yeah right." He opened the fridge and gave her 2 bottles and he took one.  
She walked up the stairs and came in the room smiling.  
"Here's your drink Sirius!"  
"Thank you Tonks" he answered smiling. Remus could see that he wouldn't ask anything about what happened. That's why Sirius was his friend, he could joke about a lot of things and try to annoy you as much as he could and argue but sometimes he knew when to say nothing and just act like nothing happened. Remus was sure that's what Tonks needed at that moment.

_I think I'll update another time in the week. I don't want to post every day because I want this story to last. I really enjoy writing about Remus and Tonks and I don't want to have finished their story in two weeks. I hope you understand! :) Again, don't hesitate to review to tell me what you think about it!_


	5. We belong here together

_Disclaimer : I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters. (I want to start to put some lyrics in my chapters because there are many songs that make me think A LOT of Remus and Tonks story. So I hope you don't mind.)_

_"You are always trying to keep it real; I'm in love with how you feel. I don't see what anyone can see, in __**anyone else but you**__." _

Tonks arrived at Grimmauld Place as usual. She walked in the kitchen and saw no one. She went upstairs and shouted "Sirius?"  
"Yeah, I'm here!" it seemed to come from the second floor so she went upstairs and she found Sirius cleaning in a muggle way something on the wall. The house was so full of charms that the muggle way was, sometimes, the only way to clean.  
"Remus's not here?" she asked trying to act cool.  
"He came but then Dumbledore came and he asked him a last minute mission."  
"Oh, alright." She answered "What is it?"  
"He has to go see a pack of werewolves in the North Country. Apparently the death eaters are already trying to recruit."  
Tonks worried, of course she would. She always knew that Remus was very sensible with his lycanthropy, who wouldn't? She thought. But he was extremely self-conscious about it and it seemed like he didn't think he deserved to be happy which she found extremely stupid.  
So she helped Sirius with the cleaning the whole afternoon and she ate dinner at his place. When Sirius eventually went to bed she pretended she'd clean the dishes and leave. Even if she actually cleaned the dishes she did not leave, she decided she would wait for Remus to come here. He would certainly come here. Or maybe he would go back to his place. She didn't know what to think but she thought that maybe he would come to tell Sirius how it went so she waited, hours, she was starting to fell asleep but it was hard to stay awake. She put the lights on in the living room and sat in the chair where Remus had once fell asleep.  
Then she heard the noise of someone apparating, she suddenly woke up and waited a few seconds listening who it was and the door open. Remus was usually so quiet it was hard to say when he was coming. The person was now in the kitchen.  
"Sirius, what are you still doing awake? Waiting for me?" he asked smiling but tired.

"Sirius what are you still doing awake?" Waiting for me?" Remus asked amused but always worried at the thought of the idea of someone being able to come here. But if Sirius had actually waited for him the idea was very funny.  
He walked in the living room, Tonks was on her feet, next to the chair and at his sight she ran toward him and jumped on him hugging him so tight he'd never feel anyone hugging him like that. They stayed quite a moment like that, he was holding his coat but let it fall when she was in his arms holding her back.  
"Are you ok Nymphadora?" he asked.  
"Yeah, yeah but how are you?" she asked still holding him tight.  
"I'm fine" he said and paused for a moment, holding her even tighter. "Sirius told you about the mission, didn't he?"  
"Yes, did it went ok?" she asked her ton still worried.  
"Yes. I'm fine." He answered, caressing her back with his hand because he thought that all the words he'd say wouldn't be enough. She finally moved her head to look at him.  
"I'm sorry I worried"  
"You don't have to be sorry, neither to worry by the way".  
"I know I was being stupid" she said, still in his arms, even if she was looking at him she was still not releasing her hold on him.  
"No, you weren't. That was really nice of you." He said smiling.  
She put her head back on his shoulder, still holding him for a moment. He was feeling angry at himself when he realized the fact that he was a bit glad that she had worried. She cared about him he thought. But he tried to put all these thoughts way out of his mind.  
She eventually put her feet on the floor but still had her arms tight around his neck for a moment; he was holding her as tight as she was when she was in his arms.  
They broke apart, her eyes were all shiny. Not as usual but like they could be tears in them.  
"What time is it?" he asked  
"I don't know, late." She said smiling a bit. He caressed her cheek when he saw her smile but stopped when he realized what he was doing.  
"You should eat something."  
"I'm fine you know" he said smiling. He thought she was adorable when she worried for him.  
"I'll cook something" she asked smiling.  
"I'll help you" he answered. He hugged her even tighter again. He liked having her in his arms and actually the mission had been a bit exhausting so he felt so better with her in his arms. Eventually he released her. She was still in front of him, he was sure she was trying to see if he really was fine, which made Remus laugh a bit.  
"Let's try to cook something, I'll tell you how it went" he told her smiling.  
"Yes!" she started but then added in a more quiet voice "If you want to tell me of course."  
"Why wouldn't I?" he said as he shook his head.  
"Let's see what we got here" Remus said smiling.  
He opened some cupboards and so did Tonks but she couldn't find the food places.  
"Ok not here. Not here. Not here. NOT here!" she was starting to get tired of seeing plates and glasses  
"It's here Tonks" said Remus smiling.  
"Oh." She said in an embarrassed caught her hand so she walked closer to him, he released her hand and put his arm around her shoulder.  
"What do you want to eat?" he said smiling.  
"I don't know, it's you who have to eat."  
He shook his head and put his nose in her hair smiling in her hair.  
She put on of her arm on his back and her other arm on his waist. She hugged him again. He moved the hair, which was falling on her eyes, with his fingers and spoke in a soft voice.  
"You know I'm fine?"  
"I know." She said still hugging him.  
He caressed her cheek with his hand; he wondered why she had worried so much about him.  
He opened the cupboard and they looked quickly at what was inside then he opened the fridge.  
"We have eggs, tomatoes and a bit of chicken."  
"I'm not exactly inspired right now" Tonks said laughing.  
"It's because you should be sleeping since a very long time!" he started "Really, you can go if you want"  
"No, I'm fine. My brain may not be exactly fully awake but I'm a bit hungry actually. I didn't eat much"  
"Alright, would you like an omelette?" he asked gently.  
"I'd love too"  
He took the eggs from the fridge and she took the tomatoes and the rest of the chicken that Molly had cooked the day before and she put everything next to the eggs. Remus could see in her eyes that she didn't what to do as he was starting. She was so tired that she was zoned out.  
"Just sit. I'll do it" he said smiling.  
"No, I told you I'd cook!"  
"You're tired, I can cook for you"  
"Well, it should be the other way around" she protested.  
"Alright, just to the eggs and I'll cut the tomatoes and the chicken."  
He started cutting the tomatoes and he looked at her discretely. She was cracking the eggs and ended putting a part of the egg on the table on its way. She was cute as she tried to cook, her hair were green but a great green, like a Christmas tree, with some shades of brown. She started beating the eggs but she was so tired that she was very slow and didn't realize that some of it was falling on the table as her look was lost somewhere else. He laughed and went to help her; he took the fork from her hand and did it. She looked embarrassed and went to the place he was and she was about to cut the tomatoes.  
"No, I don't want you to cut one of your finger… or all of them."  
She blushed; she must be very tired he thought because usually she never blushed she must always hide it by morphing it back. He thought she was cute when she blushed. She sat on the counter just next to him. He finished cooking quickly and put everything in a strove and they waited.  
He was standing just next to her, she was striking her eyes like a tired kid.  
"You shouldn't have" he said smiling. She faced him, not smiling he was sure she had misunderstood him and he felt utterly bad. He put one hand on her knee and added "You're so tired"  
Her eyes looked less sad and he felt better.  
"I'm sorry. I woke up early this morning so I'm a bit tired."  
"Have you eaten tonight,at least?"  
"Well, not really. I wasn't hungry so I just looked at Sirius eating most of the time"  
He was looking at her surprised. She was actually waiting for him, in a friendly way of course. He turned to look at the omelette and realized they could eat it.  
"It's ready" he told her and she got down from the counter and she took two plates, a fork and a knife for each of them and put them on the table. He served them and they sat, started eating.  
She was hungry so he waited for her before telling her about the mission. He wondered if she'd asked if he didn't tell but he realize she wouldn't.  
"I had to go to the North" he started after a moment. She glanced at him but looked back at her plate. He was relieved she didn't stare.  
"There were a dozen maybe more since there were only the men. They, uh, were not exactly what we could call 'civilized' but they were not bad. The death eaters already came to them but they told me that they would listen at my proposition too." He paused for a moment.  
"They didn't believe Voldemort's return until the death eaters came to them. They, apparently proposed them a bigger freedom in case of, uh, 'food and hunt'." He felt horrified as he told his words. "But they didn't like the idea of wizards coming to them like this." He tried to take a professional ton as he felt his voice going weaker. "They live in kind of a village, most of them are werewolves by birth by now. Women and Men, they live here since a very very long time."  
She looked up at him and she hesitated before speaking.  
"How do you feel?" she said in a very quiet voice.  
"Well, they didn't attack me. They weren't really happy to see me coming but they weren't utterly hostile."  
"I didn't mean physically" she said back "I think you know exactly what I meant" Of course he knew, he had known the first time.  
"I…" he paused, trying to take a great breath "It was strange. I didn't belong with them. I saw exactly what people see in me" he paused again "not that I have any judgement. They were not bad people; they control themselves on full moon they told me. They just don't want to be like wizards or even less like muggles, you know?"  
She nodded.  
"It feels weird because for the wizards I'm a werewolf and for werewolves I'm a wizard" he continued. It was hard for him to say this out loud, he never talked about this to anyone.  
"I don't belong anywhere" he added in a whisper more talking to himself than to Tonks. He felt horrible at this thought; he was holding his fork so tight it hurt. He was angry at himself for what he was. He understood why people hated him, he hated himself.  
Suddenly, he felt two arms around his neck. Tonks had got up without him realizing, she was behind him, leaning towards him hugging him. It was not like he hugs she had used him to. She wanted to reassure him, he could feel it.  
"I think you belong here very well" she said. He could scent her hair, it smelt like sweets and fresh air in winter. Her head was just next to his; he closed his eyes and relaxed for a moment. He waited before talking because he wanted to enjoy this moment. He had released the fork and he was just breathing, trying not to think.  
"Thank you but-" He added after a moment but she cut him  
"No. No 'but'" He did not want to argue with her, not now. For now, he wanted to believe that maybe she was right, even if it was for a few minutes only.  
She sat again on her chair and they did not talk for a moment, she was looking at her plate lost in her thoughts and he was looking at her hand, also lost in his thoughts. He was thinking about him and what she said. But he couldn't forget that he was a werewolf. He would never be normal.  
She put her hand on his; he looked up at her and she said smiling at him.  
"Stop thinking" she said in her soft voice. He smiled back at her.  
"Was it good?" he asked glancing at the plate.  
"Very good." She answered "I might hire you" she chuckled.  
"Before you do, just know that it's one of the _few_ things I can cook" he said smiling  
"Still much better than what I can do"  
He noticed that her hand was still on his and he didn't mind because he knew she did that to make him feel better.  
"I think it would be time for us to sleep, don't you think?" he asked because he could see that she was tired even if he would have stay here for hours again.  
"Yeah, you're right" she said.  
He took his wand and made the plates and the cutlery to the sink.  
They got up and he saw his cloak was still on the floor at the door of the kitchen. He had forgotten about it. They both laughed at the sight of it.  
"I was a bit attacked by surprise" he said as they laughed.  
"Sorry" she said laughing.  
"Don't be" he started "and actually, thank you for-" he hesitated and Tonks finished his sentence.  
"For waiting for you so you wouldn't overthink everything alone?" she said smiling.  
He chuckled and she continued  
"I know you may not wanted to speak because it's not things you like to talk about. But I'm sure it's better for you sometimes to just say things because you would have overthink everything alone but" Remus noticed that she was getting lost in her words he smiled as he talked  
"But you were here, that's all that mattered" as he spoke these words he saw the look in her eyes. He knew it very well; usually she hugged him when she looked at him like that. It was this look full of tenderness that he really loved. But she didn't do anything so for once; he put his arms around her. He took her a few seconds to hug him back.  
They broke apart and they walked to the corridor, trying to be silent not to wake up the picture and he opened the door. He closed it behind her and she looked at him.  
"Remus" she started and he looked at her in the eyes "go home, go to your bed and sleep. Do not overthink everything and see you tomorrow, right?" I told Sirius I'd come tomorrow too."  
"I'll do my best" Remus answered, he caressed her cheek with his hand and he hold her face with both his hands and he kissed her forehead.

_I wanted to wait the weekend to post but it was hard, so I think I'll try to update 2 or 3 times a week. I think it's good. I won't spoil it and you will follow it easily. Again, don't hesitate to review to tell me what you think._


	6. I can't help falling for you

_Disclaimer__ : I do not own Harry Potter or any the characters._

_Hi everyone. I counted the chapters I have already written and there are 18 for the moment :) Enjoy this one!_

_**L**__ is for the way you __**look**__ at me; __**O**__ is for the__** only one**__ I see..._

Remus and Sirius were talking in the kitchen. There was an Order meeting but it was still a few hours ahead. They heard the umbrella stand falling and the picture waking up.  
"Tonks" Remus said smiling. Sirius looked surprised and watched Remus walking to the corridor, he shut the curtains and the picture stop yelling "mudblood, monsters, traitors in the house of my family"  
"Hello Tonks" Remus said smiling.  
"Oh." She said trying to put the umbrella stand correctly again. Her hair turned fuchsia pink. "Wotcher Remus!" Remus shook his head laughing and helped her.  
"Maybe we should just move this thing" he said still laughing a bit.  
"Eventually, I'll get used to it."  
"yeah, eventually" he repeated.

She walked next to Remus and kissed him quickly on the cheek and walked to the kitchen.  
"Sirius, you could have come greeting me you know." She said smiling.  
"Yeah but Mr Lupin the gentleman is doing it for me" answered Sirius.  
They all sat and took butterbeers.  
"It's getting tensed at the Ministry" Tonks started.  
"That's what Arthur was saying too" Said Sirius looking interested.  
"Well, they think the Order is reformed. Which is true but they have no proof and they tracking us. Searching for the first mistake we make or they stop talking to us about the serious things. In my case, they stop talking to me about the serious affairs going on since I was trained by Mad-Eye they're sure I'm with him."  
"Which you are" said Remus  
"Of course. He's the best Auror at the Ministry. I would be crazy to be against him."  
"Suicidal" said Sirius  
"But what I don't get is why they don't want to say the truth about Voldemort. Well I get they think it's better and all but we would be much more prepared. People know there's something going on but they don't know what. And they're scared."  
"_Fear makes people do horrible thing_" said Remus  
"They're utterly stupid not to tell. People would get on the right side. We could all do something."  
"It was already like that last time" said Sirius. "For some unknown reasons, the Ministry think it's better not to tell and that if they avoid the truth long enough it'd eventually leaves."  
"Stupid" said Tonks.  
"Exactly" said Sirius. "That's why the Order exists" They were all looking down at the table or their drink, thinking about what they were just talking about. And people started to arrive.

The Meeting went quite normally and they ate dinner as usual because Molly wanted everyone to feel at ease during this meeting and she thought that dinner made people always get better with each other and that was important during those times.  
Remus decided to sit next to Tonks because he always enjoyed her company and for once he wasn't exactly in the mood of talking about Voldemort all night long. And apparently it was everyone's case because Kingsley, Arthur and Sirius were all laughing and joking together. Molly spent half her time moving back to the kitchen even when there wasn't much to do but Remus thought she always wanted to be doing something because she would feel useless if she wasn't doing this. But of course she wouldn't, but she didn't know that. Remus always thought she was really important because she could be capable to stop fight sometimes, no one, expect Sirius, wanted to fight with her. She was not just a woman, like Tonks she was a real fighter. Tonks. She was the one he was always thinking about, he always ended up thinking about her.

"We still have rooms to clean, haven't we?" Tonks distracted him from his thoughts.  
"Yes, a few. Some will be quite hard to clean, lot of dark magic in them I think."  
"Oh. Well, nothing we can't handle? We make a good team." she said smiling.  
"I think so, partner." he said and poked her elbow  
"My family has always been weird. Who'd like dark magic in their house? Seriously?" she said helping herself with the bread.  
"They're not exactly your family, are they? And for your question, death eaters I suppose" he added smiling.  
She chuckled and said "well, we have blood in common. Technically they are but I hate them, they rejected my mother. They're not at all actually"  
"Blood has nothing to do with family sometimes, your family can be the people who accept you just like you are, nothing less, nothing more." She looked at him smiling.  
"Exactly. Like all of you?" she glanced at the other people at the table.  
"Yes." He nodded smiling. "You're part of it now"  
"No, not yet. But if one day I am I will be very proud"  
"I assure you, you are. You, Sirius and I already have our habits, don't we?" he said smiling and she chuckled "You see, you are family."  
After a moment, Tonks was just looking at her plate and said calmly and in a very quiet voice that only Remus could hear.  
"I hope there's no boggart"  
Remus wanted to put his arms around her, he wanted her to know that he was here for her but since everyone was here he didn't know if he could so he just put his hand on her wrist and caressed it gently with his thumb. She looked at him, she was looking so sad.  
"I'll be there and I'll be quicker than last time" he said in a very quiet voice because he thought that the story of the boggart was no one's business.  
"I should be able to handle it myself! I'm an Auror and I'm scared as a little girl"  
"You know it took me quite a long time to get used to my boggart. I'm still scared when I see it of course but I'm just a bit more used to it so I'm quicker but it's not easy. It's normal to feel like that." he explained, a smile in the corner of his mouth.  
"Thank you" she said and she started to smile.  
"There's no need to thank me" he chuckled.  
"You're always nice to me"  
"So are you so I don't see why I wouldn't be." he answered. He put off his hand from her wrist and took the plate with all the little chocolate cakes.  
"You should taste these" he said smiling. "so good" he added smiling.  
She laughed and she took one. She took a piece of it in her finger and put it in her mouth. When she had finished swallow it she said:  
"Hmm! You're right." and she took a bigger piece . Remus was doing the same and they talked more lightly the rest of the dinner.

When the dinner was over, like usual there were only Remus, Sirius and Tonks in the kitchen.  
"Sorry to let you down you two, but I really want to sleep right now. Cleaning exhausted me" said Sirius. And Remus and Tonks laughed.  
"What? Why are you laughing?"  
"You didn't even clean a whole room Sirius! You cleaned a bathroom today." Said Remus trying to control his laugh but it was hard since Tonks was still laughing and Tonks" laugh was so special.  
"Thank you very much. So you think I didn't do anything! Easy for you, you didn't come until the late afternoon! I started this morning!"  
"I'll come tomorrow, I'm sorry I had a lot of work to do today. I finished everything so I could come to help you tomorrow."  
"I'll come too" Remus said.  
"You're only cleaning when she does, don't you?" Remus thought he'd blushed but tried to control it and said "No, not at all." Tonks was looked at him smiling.  
"Well, it's time for me to go to bed anyway." Sirius said and Remus and Tonks started laughing again. "I don't wish you a goodnight" said Sirius which made Remus and Tonks laughing even more.

When he eventually went out of the room they tried to breathe normally again and they finally stopped laughing.  
"Well, I'll just clean the glasses" Tonks said as she tried to take the three glasses  
"Wait I'll help you" said Remus and he just managed to catch one that was already falling from her hands and Remus chuckled.  
"Yeah I know" she said putting them in the sink.  
"I didn't say anything" he said.  
"You didn't need to." She looked at him smiling. "I know I'm dead clumsy!"  
"Well, it's part of you"  
"oh great!" she said rolling her eyes.  
"It's part of you. It makes you more you. And it's not like you can't keep your wand in your hand. It's only for little things"  
"Yeah but still, it's just that everything falls easily around me"  
Remus laughed.  
"Ok, maybe I make things fall easily" she said. She finished and she asked "So we're still cleaning tomorrow?"  
"Well you don't _have_ to."  
"We're not having this conversation again Remus" she said smiling like he couldn't argue. "And I like coming here. I like seeing you and Sirius. And _I thought_ we had our habits!"  
"Well, if you enjoy our company: I will not dare stop you from coming"  
"Like you ever wanted me to stop coming" she said laughing. She had a point he thought. But he didn't say anything but smiled.  
"I'm right!" she said laughing. She sounded so much like Sirius like this.  
"Maybe." He said with mischievous eyes. "It's nice to have you around" he said trying to sound cool.  
"I see that. You only come cleaning when I'm here apparently" she said smiling. He could see in her eyes that she wanted to laugh, it's like they were laughing for her.  
"Ah Sirius.." Remus said as he shook his head.  
"Don't try to find yourself any excuse" she said in the same ton.  
"Well, have you ever cleaned with Sirius?" He said and she laughed so he continued "he keeps swearing and get pissed at anything he's working on!" Remus said almost like a child who did a mistake and was justifying himself.  
"I understand it's better to be with me" she nodded. "It's late; I should go home. Goodnight Remus. I'll see you tomorrow." She walked out of the kitchen and on her way she kissed him quickly on the cheek and he kissed her hair. She smiled at him when she realized what he had just done. It was the first time he kissed her back.  
"Goodnight Tonks" he said smiling.

_I hope you liked this one! I'll update at the end of the week :) Please don't hesitate to review I'd like to know how I could get better and if you like the story; how it's going... etc. _


	7. The best of my friends

_Disclaimer : I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters.  
Sorry I hadn't updated for a few days I was busy redecorating my flat! Hope you like this one!_

_"Don't you tell me, I'm not the one; Don't you tell me, I ain't no fun. Just tell me you love me like I love you; You know you do." We belong Together - Randy Newman  
_

They continued cleaning the next few days. One day, Remus was on the first floor, he had just arrived at the house since he had a message to give to Arthur from the Order but Tonks was on the second floor already helping Sirius. When she heard noises she walked in the corridor of the second floor and looked down; when she saw him she smiled and he smiled back but she was already running down the stairs and he walked toward her but she was almost running to him

"Wotcher Remus!" and she hugged him; he had taking the habit to hug him, mostly when they were alone. He was laughing because he was not used to this hugging thing but he liked it. He liked how spontaneous she was.  
"Hello Tonks." She was smiling a real big smile at him.  
"I see, Remus arrives and you stop helping me. Thank you Tonks!" shouted Sirius they both laughed and Remus was about to enter a room on the first floor but Tonks caught his hand and said  
"No, come with us on the second floor! You're not letting me alone with him!" She was looking at him in such a way Remus couldn't say no.  
He followed her and she didn't release his hand until they were on the stairs. He didn't know why he was doing this, he knew it was wrong but he couldn't stop himself. If he could slap himself he'd do it but she would think he's completely out of his mind.  
"Moony you've came to help us!"  
"Yes" Remus said smiling at his friend enthusiasm.  
"I'm glad you're here because Tonks is always talking or singing!" Sirius said and Tonks throw a pillow at his face  
"I'm glad you two are still alive" Remus said laughing.  
"I assure you I restrained myself a few times" Tonks said and Sirius turned to look at her raising his eyebrows.  
"You? I'm the easiest man to work with!" Sirius answered. Tonks and Remus looked at each other and started laughing.  
"What?"  
"I prefer to hear Tonks singing and talking than to hear you shouting and cursing everything." Remus said still laughing.  
"Oh yeah right! You know what, I'm taking a break! You two together are unbearable!" Sirius left the room but Tonks and Remus kept laughing together.  
They continue the cleanings a few days again but even after they had finished Remus and Tonks were still coming regularly to see Sirius and they'd talk hours together on evenings : sometimes serious talks, or very light. Remus was feeling much happier since he was seeing his friends like this.

The Weasley had arrived the last month of summer holidays. Red heads were everywhere in the house, and Tonks still came a lot because Ginny really liked her. And Remus was coming because Sirius was fighting with Molly and he needed a friend in this house.  
On day, Remus was walking through the corridor on the second floor and Tonks saw him from the first one but she didn't say anything and she suddenly apparated just in front of him and she jumped on him putting her arms around his neck and her legs tight around his waist. He almost lost his balance but managed to stay on his feet even if he had to do a few steps back not to fall.

"Tonks" he smiled.  
"Wotcher Remus! It's been a few days since I didn't see you around."  
"You missed me?" he laughed  
"Maybe" she still had her head on his shoulder holding him tight and he wasn't releasing her neither.  
She eventually moved her head to look at him, smiled and got on her feet. But the moment she was still in his arms Fred opened the door and saw them together.  
"Oh, sorry didn't mean to bother you." He said in a tone like he just caught them kissing.  
They looked at him surprised, Remus was laughing and Tonks joined him.  
Fred walked out of his room and they were together in the corridor. They really hadn't seen each other in a few days and he had missed her.  
"Do you live here too now?" he asked gently  
"No, I just come and see the kids and Sirius, you know, everyone. But I really planned on living here for the Christmas holidays."  
"Interesting" he said smiling.  
"Tonks! I've found it!" shouted Ginny from her room. Tonks smiled to Remus and he nodded smiling and se rand to Ginny's room.

The next moment they met was during the dinner. Tonks was sitting next to Ginny. Ginny must have needed a girl presence being raised with so many brothers. And Remus was in their diagonal, sometimes he'd just look at Tonks having fun with Ginny changing the colour of her hair or changing into other people.  
After a few hours the kids went to bed, and there were only Sirius, Arthur and Molly, Tonks and Remus sitting at the table. For once, they were not talking about the Order or Voldemort. It felt good for once. Tonks was now in front of Remus since she came closer to the rest of the group. Usually Tonks was always closer to the kids; they loved her.

For a moment they just looked at each other smiling, she had those mischievous eyes that Remus couldn't stop looking at. They were both looking at each other for quite a moment and they were both smiling. It was kind of a game the two of them were playing; who would break first even if they didn't need to say anything.  
"Are you two sleeping here tonight?" asked Molly distracting them from each other and Remus was the first to look at Molly and he felt Tonks kicking his feet.  
"No" they answered at the same time and they chuckled.  
"It's very late. You can stay here! What do you think Sirius?"  
"No it's fine. I'll just leave you for tonight, maybe another time." And she got up; Remus got up almost at the same time and was surprised to see he was the only one to do so; and apparently even Tonks was surprised that he had just got up but she continued "Goodnight. I'll see you soon" she shake her hand to say bye to everyone  
"I'll walked you to the door" Remus said trying to act cool.  
"Always a gentleman" said Sirius. They all laughed but Remus continued  
"Actually I think it's also time for me to leave you. You're right it's late." And he walked with Tonks who had waited for him to walk out of the room.  
"You're working tomorrow?" he asked gently.  
"Yes. I won't have much sleep" she chuckled.  
"You'll catch up" he smiled as he poked her elbow.  
"Yes. I don't regret. I had a lot of fun tonight." She said smiling.  
"I saw that. By the way, I let you win, I was just being polite to Molly but I can stare longer than you can. Just for you to know it'll be me kicking your feet under the table." He said trying not to smile too much.  
"You think so? We'll see that Remus Lupin." She said in such a voice, he chuckled.  
They already were at the door; he took her coat and handed it to her politely so she just had to put her arms in the sleeves.  
"Thank you Remus. You really are a gentleman, aren't you?"  
"Well, it seems so" he laughed "let's say I just have manners"  
"Well, my manners tell me to wish you a very goodnight Remus" and she kissed him quickly on the cheek.  
"Thank you and I also wish you a very goodnight."  
"Thank you" She disapparated and so did he after a few seconds.

_ Don't hesitate to review, saying what you like/dislike. I'd love to know what you think! :)_


	8. Just give it a try

_Disclaimer : I do not own Harry Potter  
(by the way, the first name I totally invented it; a bit lame I know, sorry (; )_

_"Don't you see that it's up to me to convince you now; but I don't know how. All I'm asking is you give it a chance and you hear it now: Just give it a try." Got It All Wrong - One Night Only_

"I suspect Marcus Hestrajon to be in contact with death eaters. He is not exactly trustworthy so we can't risk to go and talk to him. I think we should spy on his little shop which is opened until very late. Maybe some of them will go and visit him. I think it could be very dangerous to obliviate him; we shouldn't underestimate our enemies. This mission should be very boring so we'll shift every night. Tomorrow will be Arthur and Bill's turn. Wednesday : Molly and Kingsley; Thursday : Alastor and Mundungus and Friday : Remus and Nymphadora." Remus looked quickly at Tonks and she smiled discretely at him "You'll start a 7p.m until 2 hours after the closure."  
They all nodded and they continued talking about missions and the position of the Ministry.

At the end of the meeting Dumbledore added "I'll wait for you; which should be at 4a.m; to tell me who you saw enter, go out or in the store. I know this won't be the best mission you've had but I think he is the kind of man who love to be in contact with very dark wizards so it could give us some names. And I'd rather see you while it's all fresh in your mind."

They all got up and some of them went back home immediately and Remus walked towards Tonks who was on the other side of the table.  
"Hey partner" she said as he came closer.  
"I hope you don't work on Saturday"  
"No! I'm glad I don't! But you're ready to tolerate me that long?" she asked smiling of course she was teasing him because she must knew that he liked being with her. They really made a good team and he loved working with her.  
"Well, I don't know" he said trying to look septic but it was hard to fight his smile "and _you, _do you think you will tolerate _me?"  
_"I'll do my best" as she answered she tried to look serious but she ended laughing. Then she added "Oh by the way, I can't stay late tonight"  
"Oh" he answered _oh_ from all the things he could have said he said _oh_. How stupid.  
"Yeah, I have to go see my parents tomorrow morning before going to work so I'll have to wake up very early."  
"Well, I hope you'll stay longer another time" he said politely.  
"I know you and Sirius will miss me of course" and she stroke her tongue at him.  
"Nymphadora Tonks..." he said as he shook his head laughing. She didn't say anything to him when he called her Nymphadora, he was sure he was the only one.

On Friday night Tonks and Remus met at Grimmauld Place. When he arrived she was already waiting in the kitchen, morphing some of her features as Sirius asked for it.  
"Hello Moony" Sirius said smiling as he shook his hand to him and Tonks simply smiled at him.  
"Sirius, Tonks"  
"I thought it'd be funny if she morphed into someone else for your mission." Sirius said amused  
"Funny?"  
"And of course safer!"  
"Yeah right" she snapped and then she laughed.  
"Well, we're sure no one will recognize you" Remus answered.  
"If you want guys but it's such a boring mission I doubt we'll see anyone. Kingsley told me he saw 5 clients ! only two could be suspecting of being or maybe joining the Death Eaters".  
"Well, would you prefer someone trying to kill you?" Remus asked, looking at her, eyebrows rose.  
"No of course but it really is extremely boring; even Dumbledore said it!"  
"I know but I think it's time to go" Remus answered and Tonks got up stroke her tongue at Sirius who was really amused to see her so reluctant about a mission for once and she followed Remus to the door. He reach out his forearm and before she put her hand on it she spoke.  
"Do I really have to stay like this?" and she pointed her face with her finger. She was really different from usual. She had long black hair, blue eyes and a bigger mouth than usual.  
"Maybe you should stay like this until we found a good place to hide. It will be safer" he answered and she moaned something inaudible and eventually put her hand on his forearm.

They apparated in Hogsmeade, they walked through the street. She wrapped her arm around his. It was getting colder; Remus could feel the fresh air on his skin and he felt Tonks being closer to him he was sure she was getting cold too. They finally approached the little store; it actually looked like the kind of place that Death Eaters would like it was dark and old, not friendly at all.  
They searched for the best place to hide for a few minutes when Tonks pointed him a flat roof.  
"From all the places, it has to be a roof. How do we get there?" he asked.  
"Well, I think we need to climb on this little one first and then on this one"  
"Do I look like a monkey to you?" Remus was not exactly a fan of that kind of things.  
"More like a wolf to me" she answered smiling.  
"Very funny"  
So they climbed the wall, stepping on garbages and old abandoned furniture to get on the first roof and they headed to the roof Tonks had chosen. She was better at climbing than he was and she seemed at ease doing this, maybe because she was having fun doing this.  
When they eventually got into the roof Remus realized she really had chosen well.

They did all the protective, hiding, silent charms to be sure and as he finished she morphed back. He couldn't help but smile when he saw the "real" her again. Her shoulder length pink hair were almost hiding one of her shiny big brown eyes. She stroke her tongue at him when she noticed he was looking at her. She was looking younger too and he realized how much he liked the real her.

She opened the bag she was carrying and get two folding chairs out of it; she had put an extendable charm on it to bring everything and he realized that he hadn't think of anything expect a parchment and a quill.  
"You have thought about everything, haven't you?"  
"Well, I've brought chairs and food and... blankets!"  
"You really are a good partner!" he exclaimed and she just smiled.

They sat on the roof, looking at the store. At first they were trying to concentrate but there were no customers and it was indeed very boring.  
"So how was your day?" he eventually asked.  
"Normal. It's getting more and more boring for me. I almost only have paper works and I'm getting sick of it"  
"I can imagine"  
"And then I have this extraordinary mission. My life is so exciting"  
"Like I told you. Would you prefer someone trying to kill you?"  
"No, but there's a middle ground" she answered smiling and he chuckled because he actually wondered what could be the middle ground actually.  
"It's because you're young." he eventually said.  
"And you're talking like you're old" she turned her head to look at him as she said these words.  
"Well, I sure am older than you!"  
"It doesn't mean you are _old_" and she looked back at the shop.  
"I am, a bit" he answered.  
"Oh please!" she said laughing.  
"You're 22, is that right?"  
"Yep" she answered smiling.  
"Well, I'm... 13 years older than you. I'm old compared to you."  
"Nope" she answered just like he asked her if she liked coffee or not. Everything seemed so simple with her.  
"Maybe because we get along well I doesn't seem that old to you but it doesn't change the facts".  
"You know, that's exactly what you don't get" she started "It's not 'the facts' that matter".  
"Well, what matters?" he asked septic.  
"You could be 22 and think and talk like you've had a whole before you and had a lot of experiences you never had. You know what kind of people I'm talking about?" he nodded. There are always those people who wants to teach you everything even if they have no right to. "You'd be boring to hell and the facts would say that you're young but that wouldn't make you younger in your mind."  
"Interesting" he liked the way she was thinking. Everything seemed easy with her; she did not care about what people thought; about what should or shouldn't be. She didn't judge other people easily. He actually wondered what he disliked about her but he thought of absolutely nothing.

He eventually took the blanket she had brought for him and put it around his shoulders just like she had done with hers. She was holding it with her hand at her neck but she still seemed cold so he put his around both of them. He carefully put it closer to her neck and gave her the corner of the blanket so she hold both with the same hand. He carefully moved her hair so they wouldn't get stuck in the middle of the two covers.  
She smiled gently at him and it seemed to be her way to say '_thank you' _but he wondered why she would think these words it seemed so normal to him. He never did that to be nice, not on purpose. It was natural, he always became protective around her; always thinking about her well-being.

He held his side of the blanket and had to sit closer to her so they could both fit under the blanket and as he sat closer to her she leaned her head on his shoulder.  
That night they didn't talk that much, only when they would see a customer in the store, trying to see who it was and writing it on the parchment Remus had brought.  
Sometimes they would talk about the place, the sky, the night or even the cold air.  
Tonks told him she like, in winter, to go outside and breathe the very fresh air, how she thought she could feel it makes its way to her lungs.

She had made sandwiches. He hold her blanket for her while she was taking them out of the bag. He felt like they were two children sharing their snack on a school bench. She had told him she was bad at cooking but her sandwiches were damn good compared to the one he could make.

Until 3 a.m they weren't talking much but they didn't need to. Then she put her chin on the tip of his shoulder; he turned to look at her and she smiled at him. He could see that she was tired, that was also one of the reason they were not talking much; they were both getting tired. When he smiled back she leaned closer and pressed her lips against his.  
Remus was tired too so he took him a few seconds to realize what was happening but then he started to like the feeling of her lips against his, he liked how they tasted and he started kissing her back. He felt kind of butterflies in his stomach but something more. Calling this butterflies would be more than an understatement; it was more like a fire burning in his chest. Then he thought about how much that was wrong; how he was not good for her and how he shouldn't do that to her so he eventually broke apart.  
"No" was all he said. He did not dare to look at her.  
"What?" she asked surprised and confused.  
"We can't. I didn't know you ..." he couldn't finish this sentence; he was pacing his hands in his hair like that would make his brain suddenly thinking of something to say.  
"Oh my god. You don't... like me. I thought you... Merlin's sake I'm so stupid."  
"No it's not that" as he said these words he realized that maybe he could just tell her he didn't like her but he couldn't. He was a bad liar for that kind of things and he didn't want her to think that she was not good enough for him or something like that. That was quite the contrary.  
"What's the problem then?" she raised her eyebrows looking even more confused.  
"We can't. You and I. It's... no" as he finished the sentence he looked at the store, sitting less closer to her; trying to look concentrated hoping that she would give up.  
She was holding her head in her hands, fixing the floor and he wondered _how the hell he didn't see that one coming_. Remus had never been a genius for the subject of women but he really had thought that she would never see him this way. He was 13 years older than her and he was a werewolf. He thought that she just liked him like a brother maybe. He was not good for her; she did not realize how unhappy she would be with him; she would totally regret it if anything happened between them.  
He got up, still looking at the store but he couldn't concentrate on anything but her, the kiss. Damn, he had liked it. Then he was getting mad at himself for liking it. And he repeated in his mind "_I'm too old and poor. I'm a werewolf. I'm a werewolf. I'm old and poor. I'm a werewolf. I'm old and poor."_

At 4 a.m he only said "It's time" and she nodded. They left, not saying a word to each other. That was really awkward. They went to Hogwarts walking, it was not too far and they kept silent.  
They arrived at the gates Filch was there to open to them moaning he had more important business to do.  
"Like that was true" Tonks moaned rolling her eyes.  
They go to Dumbledore's office and he greeted them gladly; he was wearing a night cloak; for a few days Remus had even wondered if that man was sleeping.

He told him who they had seen, only a few customers, two should be treated more carefully because he was sure they were friend with the Malfoys. Tonks was getting more and more tired and nodded most of the time, or just adding a little comment.  
When they left Dumbledore looked at Tonks smiling and said "I wish both of you a very goodnight. I hope you'll catch up the sleep you've missed tonight" and she blushed, looking at her feet. Remus was sure she thought it was unprofessional to be tired; she was always very self-conscious about that but it was totally normal. It killed him to think that she looked adorable when she was shy like this.

When they headed out of the castle they finally spoke again, just after the gates closed behind them.  
"You can tell me if you don't like me. If I'm not your type or I don't know... but I won't get mad" she said. He was surprised and he eventually understood what she was thinking about since all this time they weren't talking. It was wrong; first he had no type and then he thought she was extremely attractive and beautiful, sweet and nice.  
"It's not that" he answered and again he thought a lie would have make things so much easier.  
"Well, what is it?" she insisted.  
"You and I: it can't happened. That's all" Remus thought his answer was lame but he didn't want to tell her that he couldn't be with her because he was _poor_ and _Old_ and a bloody _werewolf_. She could find so much better.  
"Yeah" he whispered.  
"But if you like me; what's the problem?" she insisted. Uh why wouldn't she just give up. She could find so much better and so easily why him.  
"I told you it's not -" he started but she rushed towards him and kissed him. He automatically kissed her back; he couldn't control himself but it only lasted a few seconds before he pushed her away.  
"_Stop!_ I TOLD _NOTHING_ CAN HAPPEN BETWEEN US!" he shouted. He didn't mean to shout but he couldn't control himself. He was not mad at her; the truth was that he was mad at himself for liking her so much.  
"You know what, SCREW YOU!" she shouted and she run a few meters before disapparating.  
Remus apparated to Grimmauld Place but she wasn't there; she must have go back to her place. He went back to his, and he felt guiltier than ever.

_What do you think of this chapter? I hesitated a lot about this scene that's why I was a bit long to update. I wrote it yesterday and the day before I wanted to be very careful with that scene. I'd really like some reviews to know what you think of it! _


	9. I need you like never before

_Disclaimer : I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters._

_"Help me if you can, I'm feeling down and I do appreciate you being round. Help me get my feet back on the ground. W__on't you please, please help me" Help! The Beatles_

Remus decided that he would not come earlier to the meeting which was on Monday. Only 3 days after the fight he had with Tonks. Usually he would have come an hour or two earlier and talk with Sirius and Tonks but tonight he didn't want to face her. So he would only a quart of hour before the meeting starts. He didn't know how weird it would be since they had not talked at all since that night.

He opened the door and walked in the corridor; he tried to focus on his breath. _Okay; breathe. This is going to be fine. Just as usual. Nothing's gonna change _he thought.  
He entered the kitchen; she was sitting at the table with Sirius. She had dark purple hair and she was still beautiful. When he saw her he wondered where he had found the strength to reject her; her big shiny brown eyes looked at him, for a few long seconds, in a look of mid sadness mid embarrassment but also a bit of confusion too. He smiled at them before sitting at the table.  
"You choose your day too! Tonks only came 10 minutes ago!" Sirius said surprised. Of course she did the same.  
"Sorry I already told you I had a lot of work" she said in a very quiet voice. Remus couldn't even look at her; he was too ashamed of himself: how he had shouted at her.  
"Sorry" he said too "I was at an application for a job" That was true, only it ended a long time ago.  
"How did it went?" asked Sirius looking hopeful.  
"Bad" Remus answered.  
When Remus had told him he was a werewolf therefore he couldn't come to work two or three days a month; the man had the reaction most of the people had he became cold and distant. He said he'd owl him to give his answer even if Remus knew he wouldn't even do it. He didn't even want to shake his hand when he left. Even if Remus was now used to it; it has never been pleasant.  
Remus shrugged when he saw Sirius's sad look; Sirius too was used to this too.  
"I'm sorry" Tonks whispered as she put her hand on his forearm. He turned to look at her; she was looking at him sadly, a sympathetic smile in the corner of her mouth. A few seconds only after he looked at her she moved her hand quickly and looked away. He felt ashamed she must feel awkward because of his reaction the other night. But he liked her touch; he liked her being around.  
She suddenly got up and neither Remus and Sirius understood what she was doing.  
"Where are you going?" Sirius asked.  
"I need to go the bathroom" she answered calmly but she never looked at them.  
"She's weird today" Sirius said as he shrugged. "I'm sorry too mate. That man is a total ass if he didn't take you for that job!"  
"Thanks Padfoot" Remus answered smiling.  
Another normal day Remus would have run afer her but this time he was sure it was all his fault. But now she would realize why they couldn't be together; he's not even capable to have a job.

* * *

Tonks ran to the bathroom. She locked the door and sat directly on the toilet seat. She rested her head in his hands.  
"You are so stupid" she whispered to herself. Why couldn't she just move on or just not care about what had happened. _Okay he had shouted at her_ but still; she was not mad at him for this. She should but she wasn't.  
"It's not the first time it goes wrong with a man why do you fucking care?" she kept whispering. She hated the way he had looked at her when she put her hand on his forearm; he almost looked angry at her. Why would he be angry at her? Was she that repulsive?!  
"Don't cry. Do not cry" she whispered again. The truth was that she cried after their fight; that's why she yelled at him and ran away. She would never let him know that she was the kind of girl who cries over a man.  
"Okay. I'm gonna leave this bathroom. Ugh! I'll wait until other people arrive. I will do that. I will wait."  
She was trying to focus on her breath; trying to control her heartbeat. But his eyes seemed so empty of feelings when he looked at her. He had never looked at her this way. They would never be friends again. She had ruined everything.  
She moved from the toilet seat and waited at the door. She was being ridiculous. He's just a man she thought; move on. _MOVE ON_. She was telling herself this words on and on since their fight but she couldn't.

She should be mad at him; why wasn't she mad at him? Okay maybe she had pushed him a little so he had his reasons to shout. She didn't care that he shouted at her; she cared that he rejected her. Twice. In the same night. What an idea to try to kiss a man twice the same night.  
They were friends. She had ruined everything. He didn't even want her as a friend anymore. _Stupid. Stupid. Stupid._

She opened the door quietly and tried to concentrate. She heard some people in the kitchen. She closed it again; closed her eyes and took a big breath.  
She walked down the stairs, breathed out and she smiled. She would smile. It's not that hard, is it?

* * *

Almost 5 minutes after Tonks had left the kitchen people started to arrive at Grimmauld Place: Kinglsey; Mad-Eye; Bill Weasley; Molly and Arthur were proud to arrive with their son. Remus and Sirius were joined by all these people and all talking about light things. Molly had made some cakes for the occasion; she was always cooking something when there was a meeting.  
Tonks eventually came in the room again but she was smiling; Remus looked quickly at her and he tried to concentrate on the conversations he was having with Sirius and Kingsley but it was hard to do so.  
Tonks walked directly to Bill Weasly. Of course she would forget Remus easily with someone like Bill. They were almost the same age not like Remus and her. He had a job. Not like Remus.  
She was laughing with him; Remus couldn't concentrate on the conversation anymore. He had no idea what they were talking about but he kept looking at the person who was talking: looking from a person to another but he could only see the figure of Tonks behind Sirius and Kingsley. He never looked at her directly.  
After what seemed to be a very very long moment they finally moved to the big table and the meeting started.

Remus was not next to Tonks. He realized he missed her being next to him. He hadn't realize how much he needed her in his life. She was sitting next to Bill. Of course. From all the places.  
_I'm selfish_ he thought _I can't reject her and expect her not to fall in love with someone. _Of course they would fall in love, get married. Everyone would be so happy because he's a great man and everyone loves Tonks. Maybe it was better this way.  
The meeting seemed so long to Remus; he only wanted to leave. Even if he missed her he didn't want to stay here watching them talking, smiling, laughing while he only succeeded in making her yell at him. That's right. He didn't make her happy. He would never. Bill would. Bill is better for her.  
At the end, when all the serious issues had been discussed Remus saw Bill and Tonks laughing together. They were killing him. But she was so beautiful when she laughed. Her eyes were sparkling when she laughed.  
"They're cute together, uh?"  
"What?" Remus asked, distracted.  
"Tonks and Bill" Molly whispered "They're quite adorable together" Even Molly thought so. _Better this way. __Better this way_.  
"Yeah... Yes they are" Remus answered and he looked away. He was never looking at the two of them. Only Tonks. Holy shit why did he want her now that he had rejected her. _Don't forget why you rejected her _he thought _Good now you're talking to yourself freaking old werewolf_

When Remus saw Mad-Eye saying he couldn't stay Remus thought he would do the same. He would only wait a few minutes and leave. Remus was talking with Sirius and glanced at Tonks. She was looking at him. He looked away quickly. _She was actually looking at me _ he thought. Well, she was surely looking at him wondering how they hell she could have even liked someone like Remus when there were men like Bill.  
"I think I'll go now" Remus said to Sirius.  
"Already, Moony?"  
"Yes. I'll come around soon." He answered. He discretely said goodbye to Molly because she had brought the cakes so he would thank them at the same time and he got up. He was so quiet that no one looked at him. He didn't check if Tonks was looking at him or not. He had to stop thinking about her; what was wrong with him. She was too young for him. Too beautiful too. Too funny, and sweet too.  
He had to stop thinking so he tried to focus on what he was doing. _Walk to the door, take your coat. Take your coat. _He felt his arm being caught he looked around and he saw her. Her big brown eyes looking at him confused.  
"Remus." she said. His name had never sound better than said by her. "Maybe we should talk"  
"Talk?" he asked. He remembered when she kissed him; the feeling of her lips on his. _CONCENTRATE_ he thought.  
"Yes. I'm-"  
"There's nothing to say Tonks." he paused. There was so much to say actually. He realized how perfect she was. He would never see her smile again now; not thanks to him. Bill would make her smile but Remus would never again. She must hate him. "I need to go. Goodbye" he said after a few long seconds of silence. They were both looking at each other. She looked hurt. He wanted to kiss her, to put his hand in her hair. He shook his head and left the room. He concentrated to listen if she was leaving or maybe following him maybe _Not even in your dreams_ he thought. He wasn't moving. When he took his coat he glanced at her; she was still looking at him. She was really hurt. _BETTER THIS WAY. BETTER THIS WAY._

He hesitated before leaving, he turned to look at her; he wanted to walk towards her and say his was sorry that he liked her; but he couldn't. He wouldn't make her happy and he knew that. He was an old and poor werewolf there was no way she really wanted him.  
She was his hesitation because she make a step towards him. _ Was she crying?_Her eyes were so shiny, like way more than usual.

He shook his head and walked in the corridor; she ran to him and made him face her.  
"You have no right to treat me like this!" She whispered at him but it seems like she wanted to shout but he was right her eyes were abnormally shiny. He knew she didn't deserve that but it was better this way.  
"You may not like me but I don't get why you'd be mad at me!" she continued. He didn't know why she thought he was mad at her.  
"I'm not mad at you" he whispered more calmly but really confused.  
"I can see the way you look at me! Why are you angry at me? Why do you hate me?" she whispered but she was getting mad. If she only knew what he was thinking when he was looking at her.  
"I do _not_ hate you." he told he firmly.  
"Yeah right!" she said sarcastically.  
"I do _not_ hate you." he said louder and he took her hand as he said that like he wanted her to get it. He noticed she reacted when he held her hand; she still liked him, at least a bit; just a bit. She wouldn't have react if she didn't. "It's just.." well actually he didn't know how to finish this sentence and she moved her hand.  
"What? you can't be friend with me anymore? Just because I - I .. we can't even be friends anymore?"  
"I never said that!" he was getting more and more confused.  
"Of course! You didn't say anything!"  
"Yeah because you did!"  
"Well, maybe we can't be friends after all." she started walking away  
"Wait, Nymphadora"  
"Do not dare to call me like that, Remus." She looked so angry at him.  
"Well it's still your name." He said looking at her mischievously but it was so not the moment to make a joke. She walked towards him and looked at him in the eyes. Her eyes were ready to cry but she was still angry at him.  
"I can understand that you don't like me Remus, I do" she said calmly. He wanted to smile because if she only knew how much he liked her. "but how the hell can you be mad at me after what happened? It's you who shouted at me! It's you who rejected me! I should be the one to be mad!"  
"Are you telling me that you are not angry right now?" he asked calmly.  
"Well... not exactly... I... I wasn't when I came here but now I am! I never thought you'd react this way Remus!" she was more calm but not less angry at all. Remus would never understand women.  
"I do not hate you. I am not angry at you Tonks" He said.  
"Well it's too late. You can't change your mind like you change clothes!"  
"I was never angry at you Tonks."  
"You know what, for now maybe it's me who need time alone." she said. Remus tried to take her hand but she moved it before his hand reached hers. "Don't try this with me Remus"  
"You're not that angry at me, are you?" he said but she didn't answer she was looking at him very seriously, raising her eyebrows as he said these words. "Well, okay, maybe you are angry at me but you don't hate me." he said smiling and she walked away.  
That was weird he thought, but she did not hate him; he didn't know how the hell she could think he hated her. He would never hate her.

* * *

Tonks walked out of the corridor and sit back on her seat.  
"You ok Tonks?" Bill asked.  
"Yeah fine!" she said smiling.  
She did not take any interest in the conversations everyone had. She was only thinking about her conversation with Remus.  
It was like she couldn't control her words; she was so mad no matter what he would say.  
He was annoying; he was so annoying. Looking at her like that; with his mischievous eyes all shiny; this deep brown but with shades of amber.  
Maybe she _wanted_ to be mad at him because it would be so easier.  
_How the hell did he realize that she didn't hate him_she suddenly thought at his last words. He knew her pretty well and okay maybe it was easy because most of the words she said were complete nonsense.

"Did I tell you that Fleur owled me a package of souvenirs from France?" Bill distracted her.  
"Yep, twice Bill. What will you send her back?" she asked smiling.  
"I don't know. I don't want her to think I like her too much.. or not enough"  
"With everything that you told me I don't think she cares; just be yourself. It's you that she likes anyway" She said forcing a smile.  
Suddenly Tonks wished that it was that simple with Remus. That he had simply kissed her back - well he did - if he just had not pushed her away. Of course he must want a real woman, older.  
_I have pink hair; well not today; but most of the time._ Of course he must thought that she was completely immature; and with everything she had just said it would only be worse!  
"Do you want to see a picture of her?" Bill said distracting her again but already taking a picture from his wallet.  
"She's very pretty" Tonks said as she saw the picture. Fleur had long blonde hair, very beautiful eyes and a heart shaped mouth. She was indeed beautiful. She seemed the kind of girls all guys like. She seemed calm and mature.

Of course Remus would love a _woman_calm and mature not someone who keeps yelling and saying bullshit when she's angry. She wished she was capable of thinking about what she was saying when she was angry but she wasn't. She had never been.

Remus would never like her. Though, his last words were weird. It was like he was having fun; like he thought everything was a game. She was angry now. Why couldn't he take her seriously? Maybe he had noticed when he took her hand that she had shivered. _Why the hell did she shivered anyway?!_  
She was angry at him and herself now. What a good day she thought.

"I should go home now. If you want to take a drink sometimes; if you want to talk about _Fleeeuurrr_" she tried to make a french accent on her name. "Just owl me, right?"  
"Okay. I'm sorry. I didn't bother you talking about her, did I? It's just I don't have a lot of people to talk to about her because they all get mad." Bill said blushing.  
"I understand." she answered. Of course she did; she could tell no one that she had a crush on Remus. She didn't know why but since she had kissed him her feelings only grew bigger which should have been the contrary but he did kiss her back and she would never forget that; no matter how mad she was right now.  
She got up smiled and waved at everyone; winked at Sirius and left the room.  
She would think about everything again, everything he said; everything she said.

_Hi everyone! I just wrote this chapter last night and now. The last part came to me as I wrote it; I always thought that Tonks was kind of impulsive that's why I did it this way. Hope you like it! If you do or don't, don't hesitate to review; I'd really like to know what you think of the way I see their story. Have a good weekend everyone! Good luck for the one at school I start on Monday._


	10. Sometimes love is not enough

_Disclaimer : I do not own Harry Potter  
_

_"Here old friend, Come over and tell me a joke. Why don't you? Don't hide from what you want" Don't hide from what you want - _One Night Only

Remus came every day of the week to see Sirius hoping he would eventually see Tonks. But no, he never saw her in the whole week. He knew he would see her at the following meeting but still, would she talk to him?  
He needed to talk to her; to explain himself. To explain why he rejected her so she would understand and maybe they would be friend again. Or at least she'd choose. But he would know.  
An afternoon Remus came to Grimmauld Place he sat with Sirius and they were taking a drink together.  
"So what is it that I can't see you and Tonks at the same time?"  
"I don't know. We're both busy" Remus answered casually  
"Oh please. What's going on?" Sirius insisted  
"Nothing"  
"Moony; my friend; Marauder"  
"Stop calling me in every way possible when you want to make me say or do something." Remus laughed.  
"Well I try everything. So..?"  
"Nothing"  
"It's like one day you and her were best friends and now ... You see each other secretly maybe?"  
"No we don't." Remus answered firmly "I haven't seen her since the last meeting for your information."  
"Oh. So you had a fight." Sirius nodded.  
"No we didn't. Have you seen her?" Remus asked trying to sound normal.  
"Yes. I did; but she didn't stay long." Sirius posed and looked at his friend smiling "You wanna know how she is doing?" he asked smiling bigger. Remus simply shrugged like it didn't matter but he really wanted to know. "Well; she is fine but I have to admit she seems a bit... I don't know... let's say concerned."  
"Oh." Remus said; he wanted to ask why and he wanted every detail.  
"Yes. Sometimes when I talk to her she's not even listening to me"  
"Well, that's understandable" Remus said smiling.  
"More than usual if you prefer" Sirius said rolling his eyes.  
"Is everything ok with her family?" Remus asked more concerned.  
"Yes. Oh my god you really don't understand, uh? It's because of you, idiot! The only moment she's really listening to me it's when I say your name. Suddenly she seems interested even if like you she pretends she's not that much interested."  
"Oh" Remus said again and they changed subject as Sirius understood he wouldn't have any details about what happened between the two of them.

The meeting eventually arrived; the week seemed so long to Remus and he missed Tonks, his friend really bad. He was sitting in the living room next to Arthur Weasley and Dumbledore entered with Mad-Eye.

"I think it is time for Harry to have the right to come here" started Dumbledore "Alastor and I have talked and he will be rescued from his relatives in two nights. Unfortunately tonight I will not have to time to go in more details with you as I have a business needing me. I just want to remind you that Harry have lived awful things before this summer and he will need a true family; because as a matter of fact I do not think Harry considers the Dudley as his family; his true family is you. Sirius, I think your godson will be delighted to see you" Dumbledore smiled at Sirius who hadn't looked so happy since a very long time "his favourite teacher too" and he turned to Remus who nodded smiling "and his best friend's family, who I think he considers much as his family and I don't doubt you feel the same way about him Molly" Molly nodded smiling and Arthur nodded like what Dumbledore had said was the most logical thing "and his two best friends who I think won't miss to tell him everything he's missed. Hermione Granger will arrive tomorrow morning. Alastor will explain you all the details and I wish you all a good day" and Dumbledore waved at everyone and left the room.

"So, I want Tonks, Kingsley, Mundungus and Hestia with me. We'll go on brooms. In two nights, 7p.m. Lupin you'll wait with Sirius here. You'll be our contact if anything happens."  
Tonks did not look at him. He missed her, she was his friend and he missed her a lot.  
"We will travel through London, we won't risk anything there's way too many muggles to be attacked there. I think it should be easy BUT constant vigilance" Remus saw Tonks saying the words at the same time as Moody; she was smiling. She must be used to hear it a lot.  
Then the meetings went like they all usually did. They also talked about how Hermione would come because of course; everyone knew she was Harry's friend so it also could be dangerous for her.  
When everyone got up Remus wanted to go talk to Tonks because he missed her. He wanted to be her friend again. How stupid he could not to see that coming, he could have stopped it way before it got so complicated.

Remus who was between Arthur and Sirius pretended to be in the conversation but he was looking at Tonks. She was beautiful laughing with Molly. Why Why Why was everything so complicated. Everything was fine before that stupid mission.  
Arthur left to talk with Molly and Sirius was now talking to Remus.  
"Remus?" Sirius asked and that took Remus away from his thoughts.  
"Yes"  
"You're not listening to me" Sirius said trying to look upset but he never was mad at his bestfriend  
"Yes I was" Remus answered  
"No, you were staring at Tonks" Sirius said trying to hide his smile. Complete fail.  
"No, No" Remus was surprised by his words "– uh, I was not looking specifically at her, I was looking nowhere." He tried to find himself an excuse. He knew he was a bad liar and Sirius knew that way too well.  
"I'm not stupid, nor blind."  
"Please Sirius, do we have to have this talk right now?"  
"Yes I think we do."  
Remus sighed and shook his head.  
"I've seen you together, it's like you've know each other since forever" Sirius started "not to mention the way you look at her"  
"Shut up Sirius, what if she hears you!" Remus said to Sirius;  
"Oh please"  
"And it's just , it _was._ I'm not good for her. It's better this way" Remus said.  
"Not again Moony"  
"you know I'm right!"  
"No you're not! I've live in the same dormitory as you for seven years and I'm still alive."  
"Not the same"  
"It's exactly the same" Sirius answered "So you're attracted to her!" he said almost laughing.  
"She is a very beautiful woman, who wouldn't?" Remus answered smiling, looking at her.  
"Maybe one day we'll be family" Sirius said smiling.  
"I thought we already were" Remus tried to look outraged  
"Of course my friend. We are since the first year at Hogwarts. You and James were the brothers I wish I had."  
"We were and still are brothers"  
"So, let me rephrase, we'll officially be family Moony" Sirius said and Remus rolled his eyes laughing.  
"One day, she'll meet a very great man, younger and handsome, someone who's not a werewolf and she'll fall in love with him. They'll be happy. _She_ will be happy. And so will I." Remus said looking at her. "That how things will be"  
"I don't believe a word that you said" Sirius said smiling at his friend and looked at Tonks.  
At the end of the meeting Remus thought he'd take his chance and he tried to speak to Tonks. She was heading to the corridor and he caught his arm and almost shouted "Tonks!"  
"See you in two night Remus" she said leaving and he let go of her arm. Almost holding hands for a second, he saw her closing her eyes as their hands touched. He liked to think that she missed him too maybe. But he lasted only a few seconds even if it seemed that the world had stopped for a moment.

It was the night of the mission and Remus came at Grimmauld Place. There were all already here.  
"Remus, I'll send you a patronus if anything goes wrong. If in three hours we are not here send me one, alright?"  
"Alright." Remus answered. Tonks looked at him when everyone was looking away; he smiled at her. He tried not to make things awkward but it was a kind smile. He would have swear she had smile but he really wasn't sure.  
Now that he was waiting for her it was like every second was an hour. It was too long and Sirius wasn't making things any easier as he was waiting for his godson.  
"How long now?" Sirius asked for like the twelfth times.  
"1 hour" Remus said tired of looking at his watch.  
"They're long. How many time do you think it should take?" Sirius asked.  
"I don't know Sirius"  
"Nothing should happen, right?" Sirius asked.  
"No, nothing. Please Sirius stop even Ron and Hermione are calmer than you are."  
"What?"  
"It is long for me too!" Remus said trying to remain calm.  
"Because you want to see your dear Tonks"  
"Shut up" Remus said and they waited in silence. Remus wanted to see Harry; he liked him too.

They eventually arrived; Remus recognized the sound of the umbrella stand falling down. Tonks was in the house he was smiling to himself at the thought.  
Sirius almost ran to the kitchen and when Harry saw him they hugged each other. Tonks was behind them with the rest of the Order.  
"Professor" Harry said smiling as he saw Remus  
"Call me Remus now Harry. I'm no longer your professor" Remus answered as he tapped him on the shoulder.  
"Wow, ok. That's going to be weird though"  
"You'll get use to it." Remus said smiling "And this is Nymphadora Tonks" Remus said as he saw Harry looking at Tonks who had just made something fall onto the floor.  
"_Don't call me Nymphadora, Remus_" Tonks said looking mad at him; Remus smiled as he heard her words.  
"_Nymphadora Tonks, who prefers to be known by her surname only._" Remus said smiling.  
"_So would you if your fool of a mother had called you Nymphadora._" Tonks looked at Remus smiling. She was looking at him mischievously. He had missed that look too. A more than a week without her was too much. It seemed stupid at this thought but it was real.  
Remus rolled his eyes and Harry sat next to Sirius. They two of them were talking ; they had a lot of time to catch up and Remus didn't want to bother them.

Remus saw Tonks going in the corridor so he discretely followed her and he stopped her, catching her arm.  
"Tonks" he whispered. She turned to him, not saying anything. She was beautiful; he hadn't seen her closely since more than a week and he also had missed seeing her. Her brown shiny eyes; her heart shaped lips.  
"I miss my friend. I miss you. Please, Tonks do something" he continued.  
"What do you want me to do Remus?" she asked raising her eyebrows.  
"I don't know. But don't keep avoiding me like that. If you don't want us to be friends again; I can understand. But I just need to know."  
"Well, I don't know if I can be friend with you again Remus" She just broke his heart as she said this words. It's like he felt it breaking in his chest.  
"Oh. Alright. Just for you to know. I'm sorry Tonks. I'm sorry that I led you into this."  
"You... what... wait... what?"  
"It's all my fault. I should have put barriers between us and I didn't."  
"Even if you had it wouldn't have change anything" she said shaking her head.  
"It's not about this. It's not that I'm angry that you... pushed me away. It's just. I need time to know if I can be friend with you because I don't know if I'm strong enough to be with you like before and not feel heartbroken. And merlin's sake I sound like a 15 years old girl."  
"The day you move on, I'll be there Tonks."  
"Move on?" she repeated  
"Yes." Remus hesitated before speaking but well that was what he said.  
"Move on? you want me to... move on?" she asked surprised.  
"Well, it's the idea, isn't it? That's what you're telling me." Remus said.  
"You don't understand anything." she said.  
"Well, explain to me!" Remus wanted to shout but since they were whispering he couldn't. Tonks walked away and this time Remus didn't what he had said wrong again.  
Tonks avoided him the rest of the night and he had to admit he didn't try to talk to her again. He left after the meeting and tried to think about what was wrong with what he said. Of course she'd move on. It wouldn't take her long before realizing he wasn't good for her at all so of course she'd move on.  
But when he was back to his place he sat at his desk in his room and took a parchment and a quill.  
He looked at the parchment for quite a moment and started writing.

_Dear Tonks,_

_I don't know why but we always end up misunderstanding each other. _  
_I think you should move on because I believe I am not of any good for you. _  
_We should talk, calmly and properly. _

_Your friend, Remus._

He read it again and again; maybe he shouldn't send it but he wanted to. He needed to talk to her; not in a corridor or in a hall. They both needed to talk. He missed her. That night he couldn't sleep; she hadn't answer the very night. Neither the next night actually. She answered three days after he sent it and the night he received it he felt his heart beating fast as he opened it.

_Remus, _  
_You don't need to lie. If you don't want me I can understand; but don't tell me bullshit like that._  
_Tonks._

When Remus read her letter he couldn't help but laugh. He was glad because she didn't understand. She didn't understand that he had real true feelings for her; she still thought that he didn't like her. That he only wanted to be friend with her. She was still mad but he already like the fact that she answered. He hurried at his desk took a parchment and quill and started writing.

_Dear Tonks, _  
_You just confirmed my idea that you and I need to talk._  
_I'll wait for - a moment - when you'll be ready to talk; _  
_Your friend Remus._

She never answered this one but it didn't matter. Maybe she didn't want to talk to him but they needed to. He thought that he'd let her a few days and if she didn't come around he would go and talk to her. If he had to admit to her that he loved her he would. Even if he knew that would be a very very bad idea. She needed to move on. Or she needed to realize that he was not good at all for her. But they would figure things out. They would either be friends or... He didn't want to think what they could be. He didn't want to be a stranger to her.

_Hello everyone! I'm sorry I didn't update sooner I had my first week going back to College so I was really busy. And I hadn't write this chapter before so I couldn't just publish it. I'll try to update sooner, maybe this week! I've already written the next one I just have a few things to change and it'll be ok. Don't hesitate to review, telling me what you like/dislike and have a good week everyone. :) _


	11. The road may be tough

_Disclaimer : I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters._

_"I ran out crying and you followed me out into the street. Braced myself for the goodbye 'cause that's all I've ever known. Then you took me by surprise; y__  
_

As planned, Remus waited a few days. He hadn't seen Tonks; or more she tried her best not to meet him as he was spending a bit of time at Grimmauld and of course she was here a lot because the kids loved her.  
One day they saw each other in the kitchen and the only word she said was "Goodmorning Remus" and she left the room. He felt really bad at first because he thought she would eventually really hate but he tried to remember that she was angry because she didn't understand.

After a few days, Remus thought it was time to talk with her. He had let her time but he wouldn't wait knew today was the day. He tried to think of what he had to tell her. Would he tell her that he liked her? Would he tell her to forget him for good? Would they still be friends? All this questions he had in mind; he would find out the answer this same day.  
Tonks was with the twins as Ginny had informed him so he walked to their room. He opened the door and saw Fred, George and Tonks talking together; George was sitting on the top of the bed Tonks at the end and Fred was sitting on the chair next to this same bed.  
"Fred, George, I need to talk to Tonks" Remus said trying to sound serious.  
"Oh, can't it wait Remus?" said Fred smiling.  
"Does your mother know that you still have your prototypes?" Remus answered smiling back. He didn't want to sound rude but he really wanted to talk to Tonks. Now was the moment.  
"Take your time Remus" said George getting up and walking to the door.  
"You're always welcome here" said Fred smiling.  
"Thanks boys" Remus answered.  
Remus closed the door and leaned on the wall. He looked at Tonks but she hadn't look at him since he was in the room.  
"Do I have the choice Remus? I mean, you come here and say you want to talk to me. What if I don't want to."  
"I told you I'd let you some time; you didn't come. I'm here." Remus answered, still looking at her.  
"What do you want Remus?" Tonks shouted now looking at him straight in the eyes.  
"Talking." he said still looking at her.  
"Very funny. I don't want to talk to you. You're going to tell me to move on like that's easiest thing to do. Like if I just say it it's going to happen! I thought … Well I don't know Remus! I thought you liked me but then I thought that actually you didn't but you keep… changing your mind! If you don't like me; if I'm not good enough for you just tell me!" She paused.  
"Are you finished?" said Remus whose face had not change.  
"No" she shouted "No I'm not finished! What is wrong with you! I thought you had thought about, you know, the idea because you wanted us to be friends again so I thought it wasn't a definitive no but then you just tell me to move on! What is wrong with you? Can you .. I don't know; BE CLEAR!"  
"And now?" he asked again  
"Why? What do you have to tell me again? Want me to stay less often here maybe because, well I never know with you?"  
"No, not at all. I want to apologize."  
"For what, being an utter idiot?"  
"Yes" he said smiling but then talked more seriously "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be rude. I didn't want to hurt your feelings."  
"You didn't hurt my feelings!" she said outraged.  
"Well, I'm sorry for being rude and that I gave you hope but understand that, I never thought a woman, especially a woman like you would like me. So since the beginning I never thought that I was leading you on that ... road."  
"Oh please Remus." She said sarcastically as she shook her head.  
"_AND_ I want to explain myself" he ignored her observation.  
"Finally" she whispered rolling her eyes  
"I pushed you away; not because… I didn't like you Tonks." Her looked suddenly changed. She looked more seriously at him but she seemed confused. That would be harder than he thought. "I mean, you're not the problem. Holy shit I thought I knew what I had to say but it's not that easy to find the good words" he said more talking to himself. "You know it actually makes me laugh that you can think that I don't like you. I'd be the stupidest man in the world if I didn't like you. But it doesn't change anything; nothing can happen between us because I'm not good for you."  
"What?" she shouted  
"Tonks, I'm old and … I'm a werewolf!"  
"Did you mean to sound dramatic? Because it really didn't work. In case you've forgotten I know it since the first day." she said looking amused which he thought was weird.  
"It's serious Tonks, I would be extremely dangerous for you."  
"You wouldn't."  
"Uh..! Tonks. Please, don't make everything so difficult."  
"I'm not, you are. I am an Auror; I'd would be safe if you _were_ dangerous." she said.  
"I'm just not used to that" he started, she was about to say something because she opened her mouth and closed it maybe she finally was going to listen to him.  
"I'm sorry for what I did. I got myself in something I couldn't control." He was so lost in his thoughts; he didn't know what to say anymore now that she was in front of him.  
"Well, that's the point. If you can control it, it's not real." She said in a quiet voice.  
"I didn't…" he started "I never imagine that you could ever see me that way and I thought that the way you saw me was in a friendly or brotherly way. That's why I didn't stop you but I should have…"  
"Yeah, incest much. Looks a lot like pureblood family" she said and they both chuckled.  
"The thing is" he continued "maybe I need time. I don't know. I need to figure out things. I don't think I can let you get involved in anything with me. I'm old. Thirteen freaking years, Tonks! And I'm a werewolf! Do you know what people would say if they knew you were with a werewolf, a monster?"  
"Shut up. Don't call yourself like that. And like I care! I'm used to people judging me all the time. My mother got rejected by her family I know how it is."  
"And I'm poor" he continued like she didn't say anything "I can't even keep a job. I could never make you happy. How would I just buy you just a great gift? Every little thing becomes a problem. You'd really regret it."  
"Like I care about that" she said, still in a soft voice.  
"I know you don't" he paused "I know. But there's a man somewhere, younger than me, handsome and who has a great job. He wouldn't make you an outcast. People wouldn't judge you and he would certainly make you much happier than I would. I'm doing this for you, you know."

She walked toward him and stopped just in front of him. He wanted to step back but he thought that would be extremely rude so he didn't move but he simply looked away. She was making things so difficult.  
"Remus, one day, you'll realize that what you just said is stupid. Until now, let's stay friends, shall we?" she said smiling.  
"Are you sure? I mean... are you sure you want to be friend with me? Last time you told me that didn't think we could still be friends"  
"Remus, I was mad at you because I thought you weren't brave enough to tell me that you thought I wasn't good enough for you. Now that I know the truth it's different" She was still smiling at him.

He loved that smile, he thought she looked just adorable but he tried not to show any of his feelings and just smiled and sighted. He put his hands on her shoulders and answered.  
"Nymphadora Tonks, you have to stop using that look to get what you want from me" he had such mischievous eyes when he said that, he couldn't stop himself he just wanted to relax but he thought he really shouldn't: he was fighting with himself.  
"Remus John Lupin" she started smiling even more "as long as it works I'll continue using it. So is that a yes?"  
"I think it is." He said smiling and she just hugged him. He didn't hug her back, he controlled himself. He knew he shouldn't, that'd made things worse. Things were too ambiguous.  
"Am I not allowed?" she asked but she was still smiling. She knew him just too well.  
"I don't know if that's a good idea Tonks" he said his voice doubtful.  
"I'm not pushing you or anything. We'll stay just friends from now if that's you want. When you'll be ready, I'll be there".  
He gently pushed her away from him  
"No." he started looking at her very seriously "No, please, don't wait for me."  
"I'm not exactly waiting, I'll live my life but I mean, I can't see any other man but you, it's not a choice that I made it's just like that."  
"But no, I mean, live your life, don't stop yourself from falling in love with someone. Don't wait for me. I can't do that to you. I want you to be happy you're so lively and-"  
"Remus, I wasn't asking for your permission." She paused "You know, my parents taught me something great about love. They told me that when you meet the good person, you can feel it and you know it because you're ready to do anything for that person. And if right now, it means being your friend; well, I'll be your friend"  
"I don't deserve you. I hope you know that... Well, I wish you _knew_ that actually."  
"I think you could have way better than me actually"  
"Does this person even exist?" he said smiling but then he realized how stupid he was for saying this out loud and she hugged him again tightening her arms around his waist. He didn't really hug her back right away.  
"You know, I don't do that because I think you're not good enough." He paused "I just want to make sure you know that."  
"I think I know" she answered almost whispering and he finally put his arms around her, holding her tight.  
"I think you're perfect" he whispered putting his chin on her head. He was glad she didn't answer because he didn't know what he would like to hear as an answer but she stepped back to look at him a second and she wrapped her arms around his neck. That was her answer. He hold her very tight, her feet weren't touching the floor anymore.  
"It's stupid but I've missed you" she whispered in his ear.  
"I've missed you and your hugs too" she laughed at his words.  
He could tell her that she was his best friend and even more; that since he had met her he couldn't stand fighting with her especially not like that. He needed her in his life more than he had ever needed anyone. But right now that would be useless.  
"You know what" she said smiling big "I have an idea!" she almost shouted; her feet back on the floor.  
"Tell me" he said looking at her smiling.  
"Would you like to spend the evening with me? Just you and me. Together. Catching up all the time we lost during this way too long two weeks." She said smiling. She seemed so enthusiastic at this idea that it made Remus even happier.  
"Do you really think it's a good idea? I mean. Of course I want to spend time with you. But are you sure you want to?" he asked.  
"Well, I had time to think about it, and yes I want to spend as much time with you as I can. Even as friends; if that's what you're worried about"  
"In that case-" he started but she cut him  
"Is that a yes?"  
"Yes, it is." He answered smiling.  
"Okay, meet me, at 7pm in the hall, downstairs, ok?"  
"Where are we going?"  
"I'm not exactly sure... But I have an idea and that's a surprise!"  
"Alright. Do I have to bring something?"  
"No, it's not a mission Remus." she answered caressing slightly his cheek.  
"Sorry, it's just we never know" he said laughing.  
"Okay" he said "But I think we should leave the room eventually or I don't know what rumors the twins will spread"  
"You're right" she moved her hands back from his cheek and her hand slid down on his arm and it found his hand; she squeezed it and let go of it. "let's go downstairs; Sirius must be in the living room"  
"Let's go see Padfoot" he repeated and she opened the door and he followed her out of the room.  
"I wish I had a nickname" she said laughing as she opened the door  
"Well, you ask everyone to call you Tonks already" he said laughing  
"Yeah because… well you know my name!"  
"Yes _Nymphadora_." He said her name almost in her ear trying to hide his laugh.  
"Shut up!" she said and she stroke her tongue at him. Then she gestured a kiss and he put his hand behind her neck; he leaned closer to her face and he kissed the tip of her nose. He heard her sweet little laugh and couldn't help but smile.

They walked down the stairs and headed to the living room; there was Sirius reading the newspaper. When he looked up and saw Remus and Tonks walking together he suddenly looked surprised.  
"I see you two are _finally_ talking again!" Sirius said smiling as he closed the newspaper and put it on the table. Remus and Tonks looked at each other and smiled.  
"Will I eventually know what happened between you two? Did you fight? What happened?" Sirius asked hopefully  
Tonks shrugged as she sat down in the sofa next to Sirius  
"What happened? Tell me!" Sirius said again.  
"Nope" Tonks eventually said smiling.  
"Moony, my old friend?" he asked as he turned to look at Remus.  
"Sorry Padfoot" Remus said as he shook his head and sat in the chair.  
"And you call yourselves my friends?" Sirius asked trying to look chocked but failed.  
"Well technically I'm your little cousin" Tonks said looking at Sirius trying to fight a smile.  
"Shut up _Nymphadora_" Sirius almost shouted but then they both started to laugh. "But, seriously, you're gonna tell me, uh?"  
Remus and Tonks both looked at each other and continued laughing.  
"No we're not" Remus said still laughing.  
"You two are… urgh ! I hate both of you sometimes" Sirius said looking from one to another.  
"No you don't" Remus said smiling.  
"Ok you're right" Sirius eventually answered.  
They continued talking for an hour or so and Tonks told them she had to go back to work.  
"I'll come around again. I like Ginny, she's really funny." Tonks said as she got up.  
"Goodbye little cousin" she said trying to mess Sirius's hair but he was moving his head in all the ways so his fabulous hair wouldn't get messy.  
"Goodbye _Nymphadora_"  
"Shut up" she answered  
"You messed my hair up"  
"I'm terribly sorry Sirius" she said laughing.  
"Goodbye Remus" she said as she winked at him without Sirius seeing her. She put her hand in his hair and Remus didn't move like Sirius. He just laughed. She was acting much more softly with Remus than she was with Sirius.  
"Goodbye Tonks" He said smiling.

_Hello everyone! I updated sooner because I was a bit long to update since a few chapters so I thought I'd give you a chapter earlier this time! I hope you'll like it :)  
The next chapter will be full of cute, adorable stuffs so I hope you like that kind of things! Thanks for the two people who reviewed it was really nice to know what you think of it. Really, don't hesitate to review to tell me what you like/dislike!_


	12. Atomic love from me to you

_Disclaimer__: I don't own Harry Potter or any of the characters._

_"Looking back to where it all began: I was a stranger; I had no plan. Lost at sea, no land in sight: I was saved by your guiding light. Supersonic love through my blood... We crashed at the speed of light. When you look at me I find it hard to breathe." __Atomic Love__ - Make_

* * *

Remus went to the hall of the house at 7pm as she asked him and she joined him just a minute after he arrived, running down the stairs.  
"Ready?" she asked smiling

"Well, I'm not sure" he said laughing and she raised her forearm and so he put his hand on it and they disapparated. A few seconds after they were in kind of a forest but there was a huge plain ahead of them. There was absolutely no one here except them and it was quite silent.

"Constant Vigilance" she said smiling and they took their wands protecting their place so no one would hear them, or see them.  
When Remus had finished on his side he waited for Tonks and she walked towards him smiling.

"So, I know this is totally cheesy but since I was little I've always wanted to see the sun going down from this place." She said looking at the plain. Actually it must be very beautiful to watch the sun going down from this place because there was such a view of the sky from their place.

"Romantic" he corrected her and she looked up at him smiling.

"Well, I thought that since we were a bit apart since the last two weeks maybe we deserved a bit of time just the two of us." She started and he just smiled at her "and also because maybe I felt a bit lonely without having you around" when she finished he just kissed her pink hair.

"Do we have to take notes of the people we see?" Remus asked

"Nope. And I hope it won't end like our mission" she said laughing. She took her bag in her hands and started searching something in it. She had put a charm on it again.

"Blanket!" she shouted smiling when she eventually found it.  
She put it on the floor and she sat on it. She held her hand to him to make him sit next to her. And so he did. They were facing each other; she had her hands on his ankles striking her fingers. That was what she always did.

"So tell me, is there anything that happened during these past two weeks that you couldn't tell me?" he asked laughing.

"Well… uh… Oh yes!" she shouted "I thought that Mad-Eye was going to jinx me! Like for real" she said laughing.

"What did you do?" he asked laughing.

"Well, I wanted to bring him a coffee because I wanted to be nice you know. And so I took one at our room for break and I walked very carefully to his office. I hadn't made anything spilling out and when I arrived at his office I was quite proud. I was about to put it on his office when I tripped on something; I don't even know what it was – well I think it was a box but anyway; I made most of the cup spilling on his jacket that was on the chair in front of me. I swear the way he looked at me! I thought he was going to kill me" she said laughing. Remus laughed, not only because of the story, but because he loved how she was telling stories it was like she was living them again; and she was always making a lot of gestures.

"I thought he was going to yell at me; I don't think he ever yelled at me you know so I was really scared for once but it was stupid because it was not that big I mean I didn't kill anyone! But it's just that I always do stuffs like that but it was the first time I did it on something he owned. And I was surprised after because he didn't say anything; he looked at me for quite a moment and he didn't say anything: not a word! He sight and took his wand to clean everything. 'Thanks Tonks' he said you know in his so Mad-Eye's voice; the tone he has not when he's angry but when he's bored of something. So I told him I was sorry and I left; and on my way I tripped on this damn box again; I really thought I was about to fall but I got hold on the cupboard that was next to me; and you won't believe me but I'd swear I heard him laugh!"

"That is weird!" he answered laughing "but you're so clumsy it's funny"

"Don't mock me Remus!" she pointed her finger at him like she was threatening him

"I'm not" he said "let's say it's… cute" he said and she sighted as she heard the last word.

"It's not. Everyone thinks I'm an idiot because of this"

"Well, they are very stupid to think so." He said as he caressed her cheek softly and she closed her eyes at his touch. "I can't believe Mad-Eye laughed" he added

"Well, don't tell him I said that; he'd jinx me for real this time."

"You're funny the two of you: you're so different but at the same time you make a good team and you tell him things that no one in the world would dare to tell him" he said smiling at her.

"Don't tell him that but he's kind of a second dad to me; don't get me wrong I love my dad I really do but I don't know… Mad-Eye has always accepted me when most of the people at the Ministry were judging me" she seemed to be lost deep in her thoughts.

"You never talked to me about your parents" he said smiling.

"Well, you know their story, don't you?"

"The headlines"

"You wanna hear it?" she asked surprised.

"Well, yes. We're here to spend time together, aren't we? So yeah I want to know more about you" He saw her blush and she didn't hide it. He remembered sometimes when she blushed she would morph it back quickly but she didn't. He was glad that she didn't.

"I love this story. I made them tell me times and times!" she paused a few seconds like she was trying to know where to start "well my mum and dad met a few years after they left Hogwarts. My dad was working and he saw my mum: they randomly talked at first but every time they would see each other again they talked more and more and they eventually fell in love with each other. And even if my mum was a Black she never felt like her other sisters like my… aunt Narcissa Malfoy. She _dared_ fall in love with a mudblood. They dated secretly for a moment but then they wanted to be a real couple like everyone. When her family knew she was dating someone who was not a pureblood they completely freaked out and they told her that if she left him immediately they would not reject her. She didn't want to do it; but my dad left her, not very long, only a week if I remember well, because he thought that was better for her, that she needed her family more than she needed him and that he loved her enough to leave her. But he didn't realize he had broken my mum's heart _and she_ realized that she didn't want to be part of her family if they couldn't accept the man she loved. She tried very hard to get him back and he eventually gave up on his stupid idea and they got back together. Therefore, her family rejected her and she had to live with him because she had no place to stay anymore. From the day she decided she wouldn't live without my dad she lost her family. She told them that she didn't have to choose and she could be with both at the same time but apparently they were outraged she could even think that. And so they got married quite quickly they told me because they didn't want to spare any time anymore… When my dad finishes this story he always tells me the same words 'since this day there was not a day since we didn't love each other'. You should see the way he looks at my mum and my mum too; the way she looks at him."

"I understand now" he said smiling

"You understand what?" she asked surprised.

"Why you have no prejudice" he said and she still looked surprised "you don't judge people on what they are; or how they were born because you've naturally been taught that it did not matter"

"Well; I never thought about it actually but… yes. In that case that's why you shouldn't be surprised that I don't care that you're a werewolf and that I would - that I care about you no matter what" she said smiling.

"Well I'm sorry but I'm still surprised because it seems so normal to you"

"For your information I don't think it's a question of blood or anything like it. I think you choose who you are."

"Yeah but" he started but she cut him.

"No let me finish. Remus, you became a werewolf but that didn't make you a bad person. Of course, if we talk about Fenrir Greyback he is a horrible person but he chose to be cruel; it's not being a werewolf that made him cruel: he is; he chooses to be. There are a lot of mean, cruel and horrible wizards or muggles in the world. Being a werewolf didn't make you a bad person because you are a nice man, you're loyal, brave and smart, incredibly kind. Think about Sirius! He was a Black in his blood but he has never really been one; he's a marauder just like you. And I think you're great just as you are; everyday of the month." She said looking at him straight in the eyes.  
He didn't know what to say. No one had ever told him this, not this way. He hesitated before speaking because he didn't want to say anything wrong. He opened the mouth and closed it a few times and she started laughing.

"Don't mock me Nymphadora" he said smiling

"I'm not. You're sweet." She said as she leaned her face closer to his and so did he. They both had closed their eyes; their forehead touching.

"I just didn't know what to say" he said not opening his eyes.  
"You don't have to say anything" he could hear her smile in her voice.

"Thank you maybe" he said smiling.

"Well, you said thank you to people who gives you coffee or a gift or people who wish you something" she said caressing his nose with the tip of hers.

"But was you said was very nice"  
She leaned closer to his ear and whispered in her sweet voice.

"I'm not being nice. I really mean it. You don't have to thank me." And she left a kiss on his cheek. He opened his eyes again and they looked at each other, smiling. She turned her head to look at the sky and her eyes opened wide suddenly.

"Look the sun is going down; we weren't even looking" she said smiling.  
He was looking at the sky; it was indeed beautiful. The sky had turned in a light blue with shades of purple. From the horizon to the middle of the sky it was a light pink with shades or orange. It seemed like there were sprays of smoke in the sky. There were little clouds that were stretching out in the sky which made the colors lighter.

"You were right; it is beautiful" he said looking at the sky.

"Yeah. I love this color; you know, that pink there" she pointed the lower part of the sky. "Oh! I'll try to turn my hair that color" she said looking at him. She looked back at the sky and he kept looking at her. Her bright pink hair turned a lighter pink and she manages some shades of light orange. He put his hand in her hair, still impressed by her gift. She looked at him smiling and he moved his hand from her hair to her cheek and she pressed her cheek on his hand closing her eyes. He leaned closer and he kissed her hair.

"You are so beautiful" he said quietly, the tip of his nose still in his hair.  
He looked back at the sky and she suddenly shouted "Oh I have something for you!"

"What?" he asked surprised

"I brought something" she took her bag and searched something for a few something and she handed him a box. He opened it and saw little chocolate cakes and a chocolate bar. Remus laughed at this sight.

"I know you like chocolate" she said smiling and stroke her tongue at him.

"I don't like it _that_ much." He said still laughing.

"Oh yeah right, I see it when Molly makes chocolate cakes. But we can eat some tonight and you can take the rest at home. You'll think about me." she said smiling.  
He leaned closer and kissed her hair.

"Thank you; this is sweet." He said smiling.  
They both took a little chocolate cake and looked at the sky silently for a little moment and Remus eventually laid on the blanket, she looked at him, still sitting. Remus wondered if he had ever seen someone so beautiful.  
She laid down just next to him; their hands were touching. They stayed silent for a moment again; Remus enjoyed being here with her. He was still thinking about what she had said; how she didn't care. He was thinking about this over and over.

"There's still something I don't understand" he chuckled because he knew what would be her reaction. "Why me when there are men like Bill who seem… I don't know, he seems so much better for you and you seem to hang on easily. I mean, I don't understand why you… holy shit I don't know how to say it" he laughed.

"I think I understood." She said laughing but then she got serious again "I don't know Remus, there are no reasons; It's not like I chose you. I didn't look at you and said 'I want _him_'. It came… naturally. At first I liked you as a friend, you know, the first hour maybe" she said laughing  
"but I was ..hum.. attracted to you like… immediately and the more I knew about you, the more I wanted to know. It only grew bigger inside of me, you know but it came so naturally…" she paused "I just know that I've fallen for you and it's not going to change."

He held her hand discretely moving his fingers, crossing them with hers and she quickly left a kiss on his cheek. They were holding hands very tightly like they both never wanted to leave each other.  
She moved closer to him and eventually put her head on his shoulder and he kissed her forehead when she did. He wanted to show her he liked being here with her. Everything was so easy with her; he didn't think twice before doing something.  
After a moment, he felt her shiver and looked at her.

"Maybe I should take you back home Miss Tonks" he said smiling.

"Oh, you're gonna take me back home?"

"Well, yes I'm not letting you go back home alone: constant vigilance"

"You're right; you are going to tuck me in my bed maybe?"

"If you're nice yes"

"If I'm nice?" she asked surprised

"Yes if you are. Do you have like a teddy bear and you suck your thumb maybe?" and she laughed when she heard the last part

"Well, I do have a teddy bear and don't mock me Remus! It's feels better at night" she said laughing "but it's not a bear; it used to be a bunny but I've changed it … a month ago I think maybe more"

"What is it?" he asked

"You're not gonna like it" she said and she bit her lip.

"What is it?" he insisted

"It's a little stuffed fluffy wolf. But it's white; there was no other color"

"Oh my god Dora" he was laughing but at the same time he wondered how could she want a wolf as a teddy bear?

"I know; I'm sorry. I shouldn't have, right?

"It's not that you shouldn't but I don't understand why you'd want to"

"Because it makes me think of you; I walked in a street and there was a store that made a lot of stuffed animals and I saw this little wolf and it was so cute and I just thought of you when I saw it. I wanted it."

"Dora.." he repeated again as he rolled his eyes. But even if he didn't say it he thought it was sweet.

"Well, I need to see this little wolf. So now you don't have the choice anymore: I will have to take you back home." He said smiling.

"You're not mad at me?" she asked surprised.

"Of course not!" he laughed and he kissed her hair again.  
She sat again and he followed her, he got up before she did. He reached out his hand to help her getting up. When she was on her feet she jumped on him to hug him but as he was taken by surprise he lost his balance and fell on the floor again. Luckily he fell on his back and not on her so she was completely laying on him; looking at him laughing.

"Did I gain weight this past two weeks? Because you used to stay on your feet"

"I'm sorry; you took me a bit by surprised"

"You're okay though? I didn't even ask you"

"Yeah I'm fine" he said laughing and she put her head on his shoulder again.

"You're not going to move for me to get up?"

"Nope" she answered.

"Okay" he answered and he rolled over her and so she was the one on the back this time. She was looking at him mischievously and then he put his hands on her wrists to put them behind his neck and on her thigh to put them closer to his waist she raised her eyebrows; he could see she was fighting her laugh.

"I know what it looks like" he said quietly

"Hum hum" was all she said and he leaned closer to her neck. He caressed her skin softly with the tip of his nose and then he couldn't stop himself he left a few kissed on her neck and he could feel that she had stopped breathing when his lips had touched her skin.

"Ready?" he asked laughing as he was thinking of how she lost her breath at his touch.

"Yep" and he felt her legs wrapped more tightly around his waist.  
He eventually got up with her wrapped around him. She looked at him for a second and she kissed him on the cheek. Not once; more like ten times in a row. She was kissing him again and again that was making him laugh.  
"You seem in a very good mood Dora"

"Well; I think I've missed you a little bit"

"A little bit? I wondered how you would be if you missed me _a lot_" he said smiling.

"Well, okay maybe more than a little bit. But I don't know, maybe I'm weird because my feelings only grew bigger so … and anyway there's just the two of us and we're not in a house full of people so I enjoy this time."

"You don't have to find excuses."

"I can keep enjoying this time?" she said smiling

"Yes. But you think I'm not enjoying myself?" he asked surprised.

"I don't know." She said smiling, still looking at him.

"Well, just for you to know, I am."

"Very nice" she said and she kissed him on the cheek, only once but she took her time.  
She was still holding him tight but she moved a hand from his neck, she paced it on his hair. She was still looking at him in a way that made Remus feel always better and confident and _happy_.  
She moved her hand to his forehead and she traced a scar that started on his nose and continued on his cheek. He looked away as she started touching it. He had even forgotten all the scars he had on his face because he felt good with her. He hadn't thought about all of this.

"You're very handsome Remus" she said before she kissed him on the cheek, or on his scar would be more accurate. "And I don't want to leave" she said as she hugged him

"Let's wait a few more minutes, ok?"

"Ok" she said and she put her feet back on the floor but he kept his hands on her hips and he kissed the tip of her nose. He took her blanket and pointed the floor to show her she could sit and so she did.  
He put the blanket around her but she insisted that he put it around him too so they were both under the cover just like during their mission.  
She rested her head on his shoulder he put his head on hers and eventually put his arm around her shoulders, under the blanket. He kissed her cheek a few times just like she had done before; she laughed when he did but he continued kissing her and finished kissing her temple, her hair. She was smiling, almost laughing.

"You missed me a little bit too?" she said very quietly

"More than a little bit." And he kissed her nose one time.  
She slipped her arms around him and they stayed like this for a moment; more than just a few minutes.  
He felt her shiver again and whispered "I don't want you to get cold"  
She moaned and he moved his head to look at her and she kissed his jaw.

"Ok" she eventually said. They got up, and they packed up everything; she eventually reached out her arm and he put his hand on it.  
A few seconds after they were in front of her door; she opened it and she turned to him.

"You still want to see my little fluffy wolf?" she asked fighting a smile.

"Of course yes" he laughed. She held his hand; as he was walking behind her he kissed her hair as they walked to her bedroom. He saw her apartment; it must be a 2 room apartment because the living room was in the same as the kitchen but it was all well-organized. It was really colorful and cozy. He was not really surprised when he saw her apartment; it represented very well her personality.

"Are you going to tuck me? Was I nice enough?" she said turning to face him when they just entered her bedroom.

"Hum… I don't know"

"Like you had the choice" she said smiling; he laughed as he heard her answer.

"Go put your pajamas on" he said shaking his head laughing and she left to the bathroom almost dancing.

"Where's your plush by the way?" he shouted so she would hear him in the other room.

"Under the pillow and please don't mock me" she shouted back.  
He walked to her bed and softly moved the duvet and he saw her pillow. He raised it and saw it. A little white plush. A wolf. It was quite cute for a wolf. He took it in his hands; it was so soft and he suddenly imagined her sleeping with it: he couldn't help but laugh.  
He sat on the bed, waiting for her and he still had the plush in his hands. She opened the door of the bathroom she was wearing dark purple pants and a brown t shirt. She smiled at him and she ran towards him; he opened his arms because he knew she was going to hug him. When she eventually jumped on him to hug him he let his back fall on the bed.

She had her arms wrapped around his neck and he had some of her hair on his face but he didn't care and he held her tight; leaving the little plush.  
"Dora, you know I love it when you're joyful but I'm pretty sure you're doing this because you don't want to go to bed. And I know you work tomorrow." He said smiling.

"You're talking like you're my dad" she said laughing

"That's because I'm too old for you"

"Oh please; really? You'd have me when you were 13? Seriously?"

"Maybe not literally…" he insisted.

"Maybe uh… not at all?"

"Ok. It's just that I don't want you to be too tired because of me it's already late and we're gonna see each other very soon"

"Yeah but it's not gonna be the same" she said as she moved her head to face him. She rested her head on her hands that were now on his chest.  
He raised his eyebrows and she continued "There will be people with us and it won't be like, you know, when we're just together"

"We'll find a moment for just the two of us, ok?" he said looking at her smiling. Of course he knew the difference between the moments they were just together and when there were other people with them. He loved being just alone with her because he had never been so closed to someone else before and with her everything seemed so natural.

"You promise?" she asked looking at him trying to look serious.

"I promise Nymphadora Tonks" just after he finished she kissed him on the cheek.  
He grabbed the wolf plush that was next to them.

"So… That's the beast?" he asked trying not to laugh and she hid her face on his chest.

"I don't exactly know why I told you about it" she said still hidden.

"And that makes you think of me?" It was now hard not to laugh.

"When I saw it I just thought of you I don't know. I like it you know; the only thing is that it's white."

"It's pretty in white" he said and she eventually looked at him.

"You're not mad at me? You don't think I'm stupid?" she asked and Remus could say that she really was doubting.

"I'm not!" he said and he kissed her forehead.

"I don't know how you can put up with me; I admire you for that you know" she said rolling her eyes almost laughing.

"This is bullshit. You're funny, and incredibly sweet and kind. You're smart and so brave; you never stop impressing me. And you're unbelievably beautiful. And so much more; you're stubborn and I actually really like that. You're optimistic and you always try to see the best out of anything and anyone. I love that you always try to be happy but you don't force it. You're just… I don't know; I don't exactly understand it but it's so 'you'."  
As he was speaking he saw her look changing; she seemed more and more surprised as he spoke and more touched. He liked her look because he was glad he had touched her; he didn't do it on purpose but he was glad that his words had an impact on her.

"Remus Lupin" she started and she shook her head. Actually she never finished; she leaned her face closer to his. He felt her nose on the skin of his cheek and he turned his face to kiss her cheek.

"You shouldn't be surprised" he whispered "but anyway you're great just as you are. Never listen to anyone telling you the contrary" and he kissed her on the cheek again and he caressed her cheek with the tip of his nose.  
They stayed like this for a few minutes they eventually moved from their place.

"Put you in the sheets" he said smiling and so she did. He sat next to her and he put softly her hair behind her ears. "Here, take your little wolf" and he grabbed the plush on the other side of the bed gave it to her. As she took it she touched his hand and caressed his fingers for quite a moment.

"I had a very good time" he said and she smiled at his words "I promise you we'll take time just for the two of us".  
She took his hand in hers and kissed his palm; she kept his hand in her hands like she didn't want him to leave. "I'll never thank you enough you know" he continued quietly "everything is so natural with you."

"You don't have to thank me. We just… found each other very well; didn't we?" she said smiling and quietly.

"I think we did" he leaned over and kissed her forehead. "Goodnight Dora"

"Goodnight Remus" she whispered as she touched his cheek softly.

_Hi everyone! I hope you had a great weekend. I tried to put space between the dialogues so it's more 'readable'. I hope it's fine this way. And I really hope you liked this chapters. I know it's very full of cute love stuffs so I hope it's the kind of things that you like! Don't hesitate to review to tell me what you like/dislike!_


	13. Anyone else but you

_Disclaimer__ : I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters._

_"I wanna hold her, I wanna kiss her. She smelled of daisies, she drives me crazy... Gonna hold ya, gonna kiss ya in my arms. Gonna take ya away from harm" __Big Jet Plane__ - Angus and Julia Stone _

Remus had come to Grimmauld Place to see his two friends Tonks and Sirius. But Sirius left the two of them alone in the kitchen because he still had something to do upstairs. None of them knew what he really was doing but they were sure he was just going to see Harry. Since all the kids were upstairs, most of them in the twins room.  
"You and me, two drinks. Is it a date?" Tonks asked smiling with such a funny look.

"Well, I'm sorry I didn't bring you in a much better place. This one is not the most welcoming."

"It's fine. But I won't be easy" she said. Remus couldn't help but laugh.

"Well I hope so because I never believed you were!"

"You know what! There's something the muggles do. It's called speed dating."

"Speed dating?" Remus's voice sounded septic.

"Yeah! It's the single people who want to fine someone but they don't know each other so they have a few minutes to know each other. Let's do this!"

"If you want to but that's a really weird way to find love" Remus said. Tonks could have such ideas sometimes.

"Ok I'll start" Tonks started. "Hi I'm Tonks, I'm 21 I'm an Auror and metamorphmagus."

"Hello." He started laughing but he'd play the game "I'm Remus Lupin, I'm 34 I have no job for the moment and I'm a werewolf".

"How interesting" She put her elbow on the table and leaned closer. "You can turn into a wolf and I can have the same color as you when you turn into a wolf. See, we already have common points" Remus just laughed; that girl was crazy. There was something about her; she could make fun of everything sometimes.

"So tell me, what do you like?" she asked smiling. She was actually having fun doing that so Remus would play the game with her and maybe also because he actually enjoyed doing it too.

"I like… chocolate."

"Interesting. I like chocolate too. Hot chocolate milk!"

"In winter"

"Yeah on a sofa, with a blanket."

"Sounds very nice, and you, what do you like?"

"Hum…Do you count?" she asked smiling and Remus laughed, she wouldn't give up.

"No."

"Well, I like having fun."

"That one was easy!"

"Well, there's not one thing in particular that I like"

"Ok I'll make you propositions, you choose, ok?"

"Morning or Evening?" he asked.

"Evening." She answered

"Tea of coffee?"

"Milk" her answer made him laugh.

"Books or newspapers?"

"Books"

"Pink or Purple?"

"Pink! My turn!" Remus smiled at her and nodded. "Bright stars or cloudy night?" she asked. She was better at questions than he was.

"Bright stars. With no full moon of course" he chuckled.

"Of course. Favorite color?"

"Hum I don't know. Brown maybe or dark blue" and she turned her hair dark blue. "In that case, even if dark blue suits you I like pink" he said smiling. She turned her hair bright pink. He smiled even more.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why do you prefer my hair pink?" Remus felt so awkward.

"Well, because…" why the hell did could he not just keep his mouth shut "I don't think I've seen your natural color and even if I'm sure it suits very much and that you're just naturally beautiful without morphing at all; I like your pink hair because… you have pink hair when you're happy." He felt utterly stupid saying that out loud.

"Oh" he saw her blush and she talked quickly "Cats or Dogs?"

"Dogs"

"Dancing or singing?"

"Well if I had to choose I'd say dancing"

"Hugs or kisses?" Remus raised his eyebrows as he heard her words but as he said he'd play the game.

"Depends from who they are."

"Let's say… me" she said in a more quiet voice. She was playing confident but she wasn't that much.

"Well, in _this_case I don't think I can choose."

"Why?" her smile had faded

"I like them both." He felt so awkward saying that he couldn't look at her in the eyes he just looked at her hands.

"Nice to know." He could hear her smile in her words. "So, Mr Lupin, do you think this speed dating went fine? Or do you want to meet the other women. Yeah because the muggle go from a table to another and do that with several people."

"Awful" he said laughing "And no I don't think I would like to see any other women." He said in a quiet voice. "What about you?"

"Well, of course not."

"There are still chocolate cakes. Do you want some?" he asked and she bite her lips.

"I'm going to get so fat because of you."

"Oh please! Like that could happen" he said as he got up to take the cakes. He put the plate on the table "come on take one" he moved the plate closer to her. She looked at him and he raised her eyebrows insisting.

"Ok" and she took one.

"I know you like them!" he said smiling.

"Yeah, I wish I liked vegetables" Remus laughed and looked at her eating a piece of the cake.

"Please, can you stop looking at me!"

"Sorry… it's just… you're-" He meant to say _you're adorable_but he was wise enough to not say the word.

"I'm what?" She asked but he didn't want to tell her so he just smiled, he was almost laughing when he spoke.

"Eat" he said and she laughed but took another piece of the cake. He moved a bit from his chair, leaned towards her and kissed her hair. She looked at him surprised but she was smiling.  
She was still chewing her cake and just when she finished she got up and hugged him from behind. Her arms around his neck just like the time he came back from his mission with the werewolves pack but it was so different this time. He realized that her hair smelled like flowers… or like some berry sweets. The scent of her hair fitted perfectly their bright pink colour. She kissed him on the cheek and she was smiling; he was feeling much better. He put his hands on her hands leading them to his lips and he kissed her one softly and he leaned his face on her hands. She had leaned her head on his shoulder; caressing his cheek with her nose. They loved each other like two kids; they just simply loved each other. If their whole relationship wasn't exactly easy their love was the simplest thing on earth: They just truly loved each other. They stayed in this position for a moment, just smiling.  
She moved her arms from his neck but she stayed next to him leaning on the table, looking down at him since he was still sitting. She paced her fingers through his hair; she was still smiling. He loved this smile so much, she was looking at him like he was the only man in the world; he could see all her love in her eyes and everything seemed so simple. He forced all his thoughts about how wrong it was to stay well away and he would just appreciate the moment. He put his hand on her thigh, caressing with his thumb.

"We don't look like two people at a speed dating; we look like an old couple" she said

"Well, if that's being an old couple, it seems very fine"

"So, one day, we _will_be an old couple?" she started and he had just opened his mouth to tell, of course that it couldn't happen because he was a werewolf and he didn't want to do that to her but she didn't let him start "no! Wait! Don't answer!" he chuckled and she leaned closer to him and put her hands on the back of his neck and he looked up at her.

"I know the answer" she just said. He didn't want to say anything maybe because he wanted to think that they would be an old couple. She kissed him on the forehead and she let her forehead against his not saying anything. He put his arms around her legs. He _wanted_ to become an old couple with her: he was sure of it. Even if that couldn't happen because of all the bad reasons he wanted it.  
They heard footsteps in the stairs and Tonks moved back to her position leaning on the table again. She stuck her tongue at him smiling while Remus only shook his head smiling.

"What were you doing without me you two?" Sirius said as he entered the room.

"Nothing, just eating cakes" Tonks said casually

"Hum.. yeah" Sirius said looking mischievously at both of them.

"So, how are the kids doing?" Remus asked

"Fine. They're going down soon. I think you're a model for Ginny, Tonks" Remus said as he took a seat. Tonks looked suddenly proud and was smiling sweetly.

"She should meet other people." Sirius said but as he finished Tonks reached out her arm to slap the back of his head. Then she sat on the chair, in front of Sirius.

"I'm a very good role model. Sometimes. I mean, I'm an Auror!" Tonks tried to speak but she was doubting and Sirius was laughing more and more.

"You're a very fine role model" Remus said reassuringly but Sirius shook his head when he heard her.

"Yeah right" Sirius said looking at Remus in a way that only both of them – And James if he was here; would understand. It was the look that said _I know you like her; that's the only reason you're saying that or you actually mean it because everything she does is perfect for you_ _but in any case that's ridiculous_.

"Tonks is an accomplished woman. She's an Auror" he started and Tonks nodded at his words pointing his finger to Remus but looking at Sirius like two kids fighting on who's the strongest. "She's very smart, and funny; she's strong and has good values. She's very brave. Really, it's very great that Ginny look up to her." Remus had continued but Tonks was no longer playing/fighting with Sirius she was looking at him surprised. Sirius was still enjoying himself and even more when Remus realized the awkwardness of the situation. Once again he had gone too far, not thinking and just speaking. At least if he had done that just in front of Tonks but no there was Sirius now. He would never forget and would make fun of him for the next week.. or the two next weeks.

"Anything to add?" Sirius said trying not to laugh

"Hum… well, no." Remus said trying to look casual and Tonks looked down at the table.

"This is so funny!" Sirius said laughing "I love when things are all awkward like right now"

"Nothing's awkward" Remus said trying to act cool.

"Oh yeah right."

"Nothing" Tonks said smiling at Sirius.

"Speaking again?" He asked

"Yeah and shut up!" she said and apparently she must have kicked him under the table because Sirius cried a "_ouch_" but that only made him laugh.

"I'm gonna see Ginny" Tonks said getting up and she stuck her tongue at them.

"You're a real grown-up Tonks!" Sirius shouted through the kitchen.

"Coming from you, really?" she said turning to face them as was just at the door of the kitchen.

"She's got a point" Remus said as he chuckled.  
Tonks smiled at him and headed to the stairs. When he was sure she was in the room with the kids Sirius started.

"You're so into her" looking at his friend like a father looking proudly at his kid with nostalgia.

"I'm not" Remus lied

"Please! So, what was that?"

"What?"

"She's funny and smart and beautiful and awesome… blah blah blah" Sirius answered.

"I didn't say that! She _is_a great person. Even you can say that" he said quickly.

"Yes but she's my little cousin."

"So what?"

"I'm not physically attracted to her. I am not in love with her." Sirius said laughing. Sirius was always laughing when Remus and he were talking about girls.

"I'm… I'm not." Remus lied

"You are. You're crazy about her. And she's completely in love with you too. I pretend like I don't see it because for some reasons you pretend to be just friends so I'm just playing along. But I know. I'm your friend. I see things and I understand things. And for your information, I think I've seen it even before you did." Sirius said smiling.

"Padfoot" Remus started but Sirius cut him

"Go on, lie to me. Look me in the eyes and lie to me!" Remus shook his head laughing. Sirius would always exaggerate the friend code thing when he wanted to make a point.

"Shut up Padfoot" he said smiling.

"So I'm right?"

"I'm not answering this question" Remus said laughing. He took the newspaper and opened it.

"I'm right." Sirius said laughing. Remus did not answer and just read the newspaper. He couldn't help but smile because of course Sirius was right. But how could he explain that he loved her and apparently she loved him too but they stayed friends.

_Hi everyone! I wrote this chapter a few weeks ago I hope you like it! :D Don't hesitate to review to tell me what you like/dislike! I wish you a very good week :)_


	14. Head to toes

_Disclaimer__ : I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters._

* * *

_"You mean the world to me even though you might be crazy. The things you say made me fall harder each day. You're a trainwreck but I wouldn't love you if you changed"_ Trainwreck - Demi Lovato

* * *

Remus was sitting in the sofa in the living room, reading the Daily Prophet.

"Wotcher Remus!" Tonks said, or shouted would be more accurate. She was looking at him, just next to him, she had leaned over the sofa to surprise him

"Were you trying to scare me? Because if you actually did. I think you failed." He said smiling, still looking at the newspaper. She laughed and kissed him quickly on the cheek and she sat next to him, jumping on the sofa.

"Why are you even reading that?" she asked, looking at him but he didn't move his eyes from the newspaper. He wasn't exactly reading it but he wanted to look concentrate.

"It's important to know what they're doing, to understand them."

"I know but it pisses me off to read all the stupid things they can say"

"At some point, you get over it."

"Maybe, I just don't have enough courage to go to that point." She paused "Well, don't misunderstand me, I read it, but the big lines only. I can't stand reading it completely."  
He turned the page, he was lucky it was only little articles about things that did not really matter because he couldn't read something seriously. She was all he was thinking about. He was mad at himself for thinking about her that way. He didn't want to give her any more false hopes, even if he knew they were not false at all. He wished he could just normally love her like James had loved Lily, like Arthur loved Molly.  
She sat a bit closer to him, looking at the newspaper and he opened it bigger so she could read it easily. He just glimpsed at her and noticed that she was smiling.

"_'Great wizard, in his fifties, would like to meet witch of the same age who is nice, funny and natural. Owl the Daily Prophet addressing to the number 501466.'_ Who does that?"

"What are you reading?" he said smiling.

"This!" she pointed, it was in a column on the very side of the newspaper "It's the announcements that people write if they want to meet someone."

"I never read that" he said looking at it like it was the first time. Usually he doesn't even go that far, he just look at the important articles.

"Well, you miss the best part!" she laughed and she continued quoting it _"Pureblood witch, wants to find pureblood wizard who's not related closely"_ Sometimes it's not very romantic."

"What would you write in there?" she turned to him smiling. Some of her hair was hiding her face so he gently put her hair behind her ear and as he did that, he wondered why the hell he had just done that but when he was around her he was not thinking anymore.

"I don't know" he answered gently.

"Great wizard, in the early thirties wants younger woman… with funny hair" she started laughing and so did he. "I'm sorry" she said with a big smile. He knew exactly what she meant but the fact was that it wasn't awkward. Since they had their conversation, he never felt awkward with her which was weird because it should be the contrary.

"Don't be. But you just forgot "Werewolf" and you're not just a girl with funny hair."

"Okay, Great wizard and werewolf, in the early thirties wants … " she looked at him smiling with mischievous eyes and he just answered with a smile hoping he wouldn't have to say it out loud so he was glad when she continued "younger woman, with funny hair… go on!" she said looking at him.

"Sweet and funny; brave and who stay true to herself, her values and her beliefs."  
He was trying to stay concentrate on the newspaper.

"What about you?" he asked smiling.

"Hum… Witch, metamorphmagus, wants older man – in his early thirties – nice, brave and loyal; with a sense of humor that also stay true to himself and his values. Werewolves accepted and even preferred." He was smiling as he heard her words.

"Hum, good one. I don't know if you'll have a lot of answers though."

"Well, I don't need _a lot_." She said trying to concentrate on the paper. He knew they should change subject.

"Merlin's beard! Look at this picture!" she shouted laughing. It was an article about a woman who had 5 cats in her arms. She was actually looking weird. She had a very weird hat with a huge flower in it, she was actually a lot like Dolores Umbridge but she looked crazier.

"Bethany Clagg really enjoys cat's company. That's why she already has ten cats and still wants more. "I think cats are smarter than any wizards!" Tonks imitated a weird happy voice that made Remus laugh. "I'm sure she's related with Umbridge that one! Uh I don't get why people do that." She said laughing.

"You know, her cats are what is more important in her life" he said trying to find the woman excuses.

"Oh my god, do you _understand_ her?" she said laughing at him. He closed the newspaper, put it on his legs and put his arm around her. He didn't know why he did that but he just wanted to.

"No I'm not saying I understand her" he said laughing

"You'll always make me laugh Remus. You understand a kitten crazy woman" she said still laughing a bit and she put her head on his shoulder.

"Is it what friends usually do?" Remus asked smiling sarcastically. He knew she'd understand what he was talking about.

"No, but I don't think we're normal friends."

"Hum, not wrong" was his answer. He couldn't say anything. He was feeling so bad for what he was doing to her. He actually hated himself right now but he thought that he couldn't just leave right now. It would be rude.

"But I don't mind. I know you need time. I can wait. It's fine, I like being friend with you. Especially right now." She said and he could hear her smile in her voice and he put her arm around her shoulders.

"I thought that… with time, you'd give up and realize there are better men out there." He said half serious half smiling.

"I told you I-"she started.

"I know. But I'm hurting you right now. I'm the worst person in the world" he said shaking his head as he couldn't believe it. As he said it he felt even guiltier. He was about to move his arm that was around her but she must have felt it because she caught his hand, forcing his arm to stay around her, even more tightly.

"No, you're not. I must have rushed you a bit. I'm sorry but you know, it's fine to be friends like this with you. I like it. I'm not feeling hurt right now, actually I feel quite happy."

"You are?" he asked surprised.

"I am." She answered. "I don't need a lot to be happy you know."

"That's one of the reasons I like you" he said.  
She hadn't moved her hand from his, she even crossed her fingers in his and he was caressing her hand.

"Stop being sorry Dora" he said smiling, leaning his head on her.

"What?"

"You're always saying you're sorry for 'pushing me' or something like that. You don't have to be; it's me who's being complicated."

"Well I give you that one. You are being complicated but that's also one of the reason I like you"

After a long moment when none of them were talking, Tonks was trying to find the color she wanted for her hair and she kept morphing it different colors. Then she eventually spoke again.

"I'm not in a mood for purple" She took a piece of her hair in her fingers looking at them. "Blue maybe… argh no"

"Are you alright?" he asked gently.

"Yeah. I just don't know what to do with my hair today!"

"Oh." He said. _Oh _in all the answers possible he said that. She turned to look at him.

"You think it's stupid, uh?"

"No, not at all. It's just that I didn't know what to say."

"You could have given me a color" she said still looking at him and he was feeling more and more awkward.

"Well, I don't know. I can't choose for you, it's _your_ hair."

"You said you like it pink last time".

"I like it pink when you choose them pink." He corrected her.

"Oh" she answered smiling.  
She changed her hair green and he couldn't get his eyes off of her it was so fascinating and she was really adorable, concentrating on her hair, having this look she has when she's thinking hard.

"You'll get used to it" she said.

"I don't think so" he answered.

"Let's play a game! Close your eyes!" He moved his arm from her shoulder so she could sit in a way she was facing him. He closed his eyes

"Do not cheat!"

"I'm not cheating." He kept his eyes closed even if he wanted really hard to open them.

"Ok, open" He opened his eyes and there she was, even if he could not exactly recognize her. She was blonde, with shoulder length hair, curly at the end. She was looking more confident and more serious. Her eyes were blue, a dark blue. Her nose was not the same, thinner maybe. Her lips were not bigger but larger and a brownier pink. She even looked older maybe the attitude made him think that.

"What do you think?" she asked and thankfully her voice was still the same.

"Well, it's… I can't believe it's you."

"Well it is." And she laughed. Her laugh was still the same, that funny laugh that could only make you laugh or smile. He put his fingers on her cheek, he felt like a child who's seeing magic for the first time.

"Wow this is really fascinating."

"Do you prefer me like that?" she asked. Of course, she had to ask this and he didn't know if he could say the truth.

"Do I have to answer this question?"

"Yep" she answered smiling.

"Not at all." She looked surprised, in a bad way. A very bad way. Remus had never been the best with words especially when it was about and for women. "Don't take me wrong. You're beautiful but it's not _you_." And she smiled at his words: Remus was relieved.

"Close your eyes again!"….. "Open!"  
It was still not her, not the real her. She had dark hair, short. Big green eyes and her lips were bigger and larger too. Her cheek did not look the same, they were more hollowed.

"Wow" he said.

"You think I'm looking good like that?" she said almost laughing.

"I mean, yeah! But still…"

"It's not me" she continued for him mimicking him.

"I didn't mean to be rude" he said but she cut him.

"I know, you meant it nice and it was. But, what if I look better if I morph? I think a lot of girls wished they could do what I can do. And the only thing I do is having pink hair when I'm in the mood."

"Be yourself, naturally. Even your hair." He asked her

"Oh please, no" she said trying the puppy eyes.

"Go on, do it." He stayed firm but smiled.

"Ok but close your eyes."… "Open" she said not in such a good mood as before.  
He opened his eyes and there she was, the Tonks he liked. Her skin a little bit naturally tan; her big shiny brown eyes; her little nose and her lips nor too thin nor too big. Her cheeks were not hollowed like before. She was natural. Her hair. He had never seen her hair like that; it was a pretty mousy brown, shoulder length. He was just looking at her smiling.

"Can I morph my hair?" she asked, apparently not liking her hair like that. He moved the hair that was on her eyes and put it softly behind her ear.

"I think you're incredibly beautiful like that but if you want you can morph your hair."  
She looked at him for a moment and then she morphed her hair, fuchsia pink.

"I don't think you should morph anything about your appearance" he said, he wanted to cheer her up because he did not understand how she could not feel confident about her appearance. She was beautiful.

"One day, in my Hogwarts years. I think I was 16 or 17 I don't remember exactly." She started and he looked at her hands while she was speaking. She was striking one of her finger and her palm back and forth. "There was this guy I liked and we kind of liked each other but I liked him more than he liked me. And he liked more my gift than my personality or anything. And so, one day, there were just the two of us, talking together and he asked me: "If you can change anything about your appearance, you could make yourself look like a real model, why don't you do it?" I know I was young and he was just utterly stupid but still."

"Why did you tell him?" he asked and she was surprised of his question but she answered smiling.

"That if I wanted to look like an idiotic useless dick I knew that I could morph into him; but I was still hurt. Maybe I should do that…. And actually, there's a guy at the minister, he's a secretary in the office and he asked me why I didn't try to morph. Maybe I should make myself look perfect; it would only be a question of a few weeks to get used to keep my morphing all day long but I think could do it."  
He put his hand on hers and she turned to him.

"Don't. Ever." He started, he was trying to find the right words "I think, that it would be totally useless to try hard to look like a model, especially when you are more beautiful than any model on earth and I'm not saying that to be nice. Nymphadora Tonks, you have something that no other women has and I can't tell you what it is but there's something about, your eyes maybe or your smile I don't know but there's something that makes you look so unique and beautiful. So please, those guys were total dicks, just like you said, they are stupid if they couldn't see how great you are."  
She smiled and she leaned quickly on him, hugging him tight. She put her head on his shoulder and whispered "You always find the perfect words" and he thought that what he said was messy and that he could have said much more and could have said it in a better way.

"I'm sorry I was being so stupid. I mean there's so much going on and I'm here complaining about what I look like" she said still her head on his shoulder and he caressed her back comforting her.

"There's nothing stupid about it. We can't think all time long about what's going on. You have all the right to have your personal… issues" She moved her head and faced him.

"You're always so nice" and she kissed him tenderly on the cheek. "And I never say nice things to you" she said laughing a bit.

"You're kidding, right?" he asked raising his eyebrows.

"No, you're always saying me nice things when I'm sad and I never tell you how great _you_ are! I'm so selfish"

"You _are_ kidding me" he said smiling nicely at her "I still can't understand why, but you see some good in me, and even if I still think you're crazy to think that, you have said _nice things_ to me and you've already made me feel better when I wasn't feeling well neither. You're always here for me even if, in some ways, I wish you weren't and that you were with someone much better-"  
"richer, younger and more handsome, yeah I know, I already heard this one" she cut him smiling "But guess what, I didn't find that person because he doesn't exist so I'm still here" she said with mischievous eyes. She was so not helping he thought. "Please, don't ruin the moment, right?" He didn't say anything and she sat normally again, just next to him and she just hold his hand, crossed her fingers with his and she turned to look at him, smiling so nicely. He squeezed her hand and then started caressing her hand with his with thumb.

"Right" he answered smiling back at her.

He kissed her hair. He was in love with that woman. He really was; it was so frustrating not to do anything with her; he was a man after all even if his love was much deeper than that it sure was frustrating even if he enjoyed time like this with her. He wanted to kiss her, to feel her lips, to hug her tight.  
She turned her head to look at him and he kissed her forehead, she was starting to smile so he kissed her nose and her smile grew bigger.  
She buried her head in his neck; he could feel her breath on his skin and she laughed softly. They were being ridiculous it was right; they were almost acting like a couple but they weren't one.  
Remus didn't want her to be involved with him because he knew she'd be judge so hard.

They suddenly heard footsteps coming and Tonks sat a bit farther from him and he moved his arm, his hand on his neck, trying to act normal.

"Hey you two, what're you doing?" asked Sirius.

"You know, nothing, just talking" said Remus. He was so stupid, Sirius knew him since so long he would feel it if he was lying. Even though he was not exactly lying.

"Yeah, talking." Tonks said naturally. She was so much better at lying than he was.  
And they started talking all together. The three of them could talk for hours, talk seriously or lightly, or laugh and joke. Remus loved these moments like this. His friend and the girl he loved, actually she was his friend. They were both his best friends.

_Hey everyone! So there's something about this chapter; there are 2 chapters in this one; but one alone was a bit short so I mixed them. I hope it's not too weird and that actually you hadn't noticed before I told you :p Hope you had a good weekend and I hope you'll have a very good week. :)_


	15. I'm in love with how you feel

**Disclaimer :**_ I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters._

* * *

"You are always trying to keep it real and I'm in love with how you feel. I don't see what anyone can see in anyone else, but you." The Moldy Peaches - _Anyone else but you_

* * *

Remus entered the living room and noticed Ginny and Tonks sitting together at the corner of the table. Tonks had her short bright pink hair. Short hair suited her just as much as long hair. There were a lot of books spread all over the table. Ginny was writing on a parchment while Tonks was reading two books at the same time, looking from a book to another.  
Remus walked quietly to the table, behind them but Tonks must have heard him because she suddenly looked up and turned to look behind her. He smiled at her.

"Wotcher Remus" she said smiling back.

"Hello Tonks, Ginny."

"Hi Remus" Ginny said not looking away from her parchment.

"I'm helping Ginny with her Potion's paper. Snape has given them a real complicated subject."

"Well, I'm not surprised at all."

"Well, come and sit with us. You're gonna help us." Tonks said like it was obvious.

"You know, I've never been really that good at Potions."

"Maybe but you were an amazing teacher from what I heard. You can help." She insisted

"Ok. So tell me what is it about?" He asked as he drew out a chair to sit but Tonks pointed him the blank between her and Ginny. So he moved the chair from its original place and put it between them. Ginny looked up at him and then looked at Tonks. She smiled and looked back at her parchment.

"I have to explain the relation between poisons and cure for poisons; explaining the difference between killing poisons and only damaging/ hurting poisons." Ginny said looking at all the books on the table.

"Indeed, it is not an easy one."

"So I asked Tonks since she was really good at Potions at school." Remus looked at Tonks as Ginny spoke those words she was concentrated on a book and when she just raised her eyebrows when she heard Ginny.

"I had Snape in my last years. I hated his essays. I still do."

"He was your teacher?" Remus asked surprised.

"Yes, but the last two years or one only, I don't really remember. I had Slughorn most of my years at Hogwarts. Here" she said handing him a piece of paper "This is what we found and thought was good, what do you think?"  
Remus took the paper and read it. It was really good; he could distinct Tonks's writing. It was big, stretched up and in italic, a girl writing but that kind of represented her. He liked her writing.

"I think that's really good. But I'm not Snape."

"You were so much a better teacher than he is!" Ginny said enthusiastically.

"Thank you" he answered. He was always glad to hear students saying he was a good teacher; he had really enjoyed teaching.  
Ginny was writing her ideas, trying to make sentences of it, trying to develop the points they had found while Tonks was still looking for new ideas. She was reading a book and then she showed a paragraph to Remus. He leaned closer to her, and read what she pointed him. As he got closer to her, he felt her coming even closer to him; their legs touching.

"Yeah, definitely. I'd say it would be good in the first part. What do you think?"

"Yes, I thought so too." Tonks answered turning her face to look at him. Their faces were so close; they looked at each other a few seconds. She was smiling mischievously at him, biting her lips. Remus looked back at the book still smiling; he was still thinking about the way she was looking at him. She looked back at the book a few seconds after him.  
After maybe 15 or 20 minutes of work together Remus realized Tonks had gotten silent so he looked up at her and saw her reading a book very concentrated. He looked closer at what she was reading and it had no point with potions. It was about werewolves or more the impact of the moon on werewolves; how it was working.

"What are you reading?" he said quietly as he realized what she was reading.

"Shit" she whispered as she closed the book. Ginny didn't look up at them; she was too concentrated on her paper.

"Sorry" she whispered as she closed the book and put it on the pile of books. She quickly looked at him and then looked back at the other books. She was way more distant from this moment and Remus was sure she was feeling guilty. He tried to show her she didn't have to be feeling guilty but it was hard without clearly saying it out loud.  
After a few minutes Tonks started.

"I think this one is a good point" Tonks said as she was reading a book. Remus got closer to her, looking above her shoulder and simply nodded. Tonks took a quill and wrote the main idea on a parchment where they all put many ideas; most where Ginny's ideas but Tonks had put some good examples to help her. Tonks started writing the main point but she was hesitating on how to say it; she started and stopped, looking mindlessly at the wall.

"May I?" asked Remus reaching out his hand

"Of course" she answered as she softly put the quill in his hand. Remus was writing the idea while Tonks was looking at him writing; he could see her looking at his hand. When he finished he moved back his hand for her to read and she nodded smiling. He handed her the quill, she put her fingers around it but he didn't let it go; he looking at her trying not to smile too much.

"Thank you Tonks" he said quietly.

"You're welcome Remus" she answered.  
They were still both looking at each other when Sirius shouted Remus's name from the first or second floors. Remus couldn't say which one but he would find out as soon as he would walk up the stairs.

"Well, you've heard Sirius calling me so nicely; I'll see what he wants or he'll only continue shouting and I'm too tired to hear him shouting. Good luck for the end of it" Remus said smiling.

"We should eventually tell him that he has to stop shouting from anywhere in the house." Tonks said laughing.

"Mum will get crazy" Ginny said laughing too.  
Remus laughed and put his hand on Tonks's neck, caressing gently for several seconds. She looked up at him at his touch and smiled in one of the sweetest way. He eventually moved back his hand and left the room.  
He was walking through the kitchen when he heard Tonk's voice.

"Wait" she almost shouted.

"Tonks" he said surprised and she wrapped her arms around his waist, her head against his chest. He couldn't help but smile. He put his arms around her shoulders, holding her tight against him and he kissed her hair.  
She eventually moved back and looked up at him; he put his hands around her face and leaned to kiss her forehead. She had closed her eyes and was smiling while he was kissing her. She put herself on her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek.

"Thank you for helping. That was nice of you." She said smiling.  
Remus shook his head smiling and he put a hand on her cheek and caressed her gently. She pressed her head in his palm.

"I actually enjoyed this little time."

"You're the only person on earth who enjoys doing an essay about potions."

"It's not exactly the subject that I liked the most. Doing researches, it reminds me of my teaching year. And well, doing it with you is, of course, much better."  
She kissed the palm of his hand, still looking at him tenderly.

"There's something I wanted to tell you" he started and her smile grew bigger "I wanted to wait a bit, to be... well not sure but I wanted to wait."

"Go on!" she said hopping up and down with impatience

"I have a job" he started "it's not m-" but she cut him

"It's great! I'm happy for you" she said smiling as she put her arms around his neck, forced to be on her tiptoes holding him tight.

"Thank you" he said as he hugged her back, putting a hand in her bright pink hair. "It's not much but well, I'm glad"

"Where is it?" she asked. They broke apart and she was still in front of him, looking really happy. He was always impressed by her; she really was happy for him he could just feel it.

"It's in a little shop, it sells books and other stuffs. It's been more than a week. I wanted to wait to tell you."

"I'm really glad for you." she said smiling. They looked at each other, she was biting her lips but she couldn't stop smiling. After a few moment she spoke again, her smile fading quickly.

"By the way" she started "I'm sorry for… what I was reading. I know I shouldn't have. I"- but she stopped talking as soon as he wrapped her arms around her shoulders to bring her closer to him; her head on his chest, she just sighted.

"You don't have to be sorry" he said and kissed her hair.

"But I don't want you to think I'm curious in a bad way, you know?"

"Tonks, you were just reading a book. There's nothing wrong. Please don't act like I'm mad at you because I'm going to think I'm actually scaring you."

"I"- she started but then just sighted and laughed; he leaned to kiss the tip of her nose. As he moved his arms from her shoulders she held one of his hands. Even if there was a part of Remus that always knew all the bad reasons of their feelings he liked how she never let him go. She was always acting like she didn't want him to leave.

"I think Ginny needs you" he whispered.

"Oh and you don't need me?" she asked raising her eyebrows trying to look offended.  
Remus simply laughed and kissed her cheek.

"You didn't answer my question." She said trying to fight a smile

"Because you know the answer" he simply said. He put his free hand on her cheek; caressing gently with his thumb and leaned to kiss her forehead.

He stepped back but she still never let his hand go. He squeezed her hand gently and she let it go a little bit; she was only holding his fingers. She stuck her tongue at him and let go of his hand.  
Remus left the room and went upstairs to see what Sirius wanted. He walked up all the stairs and found Sirius at the door of a room.

"What the hell took you so long?" He growled "Wait, let me guess: my dear little cousin with the pink hair?" in a more mischievous way.

"And Ginny yes. And I'm not at your disposal."

"But I'm sure if Tonks called you right now you'd run downstairs."

"Shut up Sirius, I'm a no one disposal."

"I didn't say that you were at _her disposal_. Just that you like her, that you like her very very much." Sirius said laughing.

"I swear if you continue I'll leave."

"Alright. Alright. We'll talk about this later." Sirius said smiling and Remus just shook his head. Of course he liked her but it didn't mean he could tell someone.

_Hey everyone! I hope you liked this chapter! Next week I'm in holidays so I think I'll update next time. Awesome, uh? I've already planned the 2 or 3 following chapters so everything's great. _  
_I just wanted to say **thank you** to the people who review! It's really nice to know that you like it. And also** thank you** to the people who just are just reading this fanfiction. I just wanted to say it you know, you keep me motivated to write. I realized I really like writing. So don't hesitate to say what you like/dislike. :) _  
_Like always, I hope you spent a good weekend! And I wish you all a very good week!_

PS: I think you've noticed that I always put quotes of Anyone Else But You but it's my favorite song! It comes from the movie Juno, one of my favorite movies too.


	16. Loving you was red

**Disclaimer : I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters.**

* * *

___Touching him is like realizing all you ever wanted was right there in front of you. __Memorizing him was as easy as knowing all the words to your old favorite song. __Red - Taylor Swift_

* * *

There was a new Order Meeting, there were more and more since Dolores Umbridge was getting crazier and crazier with the Ministry. The kids had already left for Hogwarts since a few days. The full moon was just a few days ago and Remus was still feeling very tired and hurt. Every part of his body hurt. He came, as usual, a few hours before everyone and talked with Sirius, they were joined by Tonks who came just half an hour before everyone since she had a lot of work. They were all talking at the table even if at some point Remus was even tired of speaking and was only nodding. Too soon, everyone arrived, Arthur and Molly were talking with Kingsley and Dumbledore had just arrived with Snape, who of course, couldn't stand Sirius and Remus.  
When Mad-Eye said it should be time to start; they all headed to the living room to sit at the big table. When Remus got up he got dizzy, he felt so ashamed he had to put a hand on the chair to wait to get hold of himself. He was insulting himself interiorly but the moment Tonks saw he wasn't feeling fine she almost run to him to get hold of his arm and said in very calm voice but even if she was trying hard not to show how worry she was he could feel it in her voice.

"Are you ok?"

"Yes, I'm fine. It's nothing" he said trying to make a step.

"I think he can handle himself, can't he Nymphadora?"

"I think it's none of your business, it is Severus?" she asked

"Obviously our dear wolf is a burden for the Order tonight. So yes, it is."

"I'm sorry, is it the person who got had once again missed the job he wanted because of a Mad-kitten-lover talking?"

Sirius came in the room "Dumbledore asked for you Snivellus . Sorry, Severus. Wait actually I'm not sorry"

"Shouldn't the little girl take the dog and the wolf for a walk? It would definitely smell better in this what is called a house" Snape said as he walked out of the kitchen.

"Shut the hell up while you're in my house!" shouted Sirius.

"I think that meeting will be great" said Remus calmly still supporting on Tonks, he didn't think he could actually stop because he was still feeling very tired. He didn't even had the energy to make fun or get pissed at Snape.

"Will it be ok to walk or do you need me?" she turned to him and asked in a much quieter voice than when she was talking to Snape.

"No it's ok I'm fine." He tried to move but even if he tried very hard to look ok it was a complete fail but tried not to show it.

"Ok I'll help" she said smiling a bit.

"Need some help Moony?"

"Thanks Padfoot but I'd rather not look like I can't walk at all when I'll enter the room." Remus said and Sirius laughed.

"You're way too proud my friend" Sirius said still laughing.

Remus had still an arm on Tonks as he walked in the living room, he sat on the closest chair to him and Tonks sat just next to him.  
During the meeting, Tonks looked at him, smiling, asking if he was ok or if he needed something a few times. She was so nice he wondered how she could actually still like him after seeing him like that. When the meeting was over, Remus did not move from his chair he waited for everyone to leave, Sirius had stayed with him quite a moment and when he was left alone Tonks came to him.

"You're sleeping here tonight?" she asked, not smiling and still a bit worried.

"No. I'm fine I can apparate to my place" he said trying to act cool.

"Sorry, it wasn't exactly a question actually" she said and she had this look you didn't want to fight with that girl. She'd knock you down before you've even made a move.

"Seriously Dora" he started a bit laughing "I'm fine."

"If you apparate like this, you're gonna splinch!" she said still looking worried and even more determined. He held her hand and squeezed it gently, smiling at her.

"Don't worry. I'm fine"

"I'm serious, Remus" she had raised an eyebrow.

"Ok" he gave up. He wouldn't win even after an hour of talking.

"I'll wait until you're in your bed. I know you Remus, you'll wait till I'm gone to apparate but if you're in the bed you won't have the courage to move." She said smiling a bit now.

"Dora" he said laughing "I think you know me a bit too well for my own sake" and she laughed. "And I prefer seeing you smiling or laughing than worried because of me" he added.

"Well, someone needs to worry about you because you obviously don't care about you and your own health."

"I'm sorry, am I interrupting something?" Sirius came in and asked in a false concerned look.

"Don't act like you actually care Padfoot, we know you wouldn't." Remus said and Tonks chuckled.

"Ok you're right" he answered and sat in front of Remus at the big table.  
Tonks who had her back turned to Sirius sat next to Remus. He had to let her hand free for her to sit but the moment she was sitting next to him, she put her hand on his under the table and they simply hold hands, fingers crossed. It was reassuring to have her next to him, to have her hand in his. They were striking each other's fingers; playing with each other's fingers. Sirius noticed nothing, or pretended not to, for that, Remus was not sure.  
Sirius started yawning and Tonks said, looking at Remus "Maybe you should go to sleep too."

"I feel a bit better you know, I can go back to my place." Remus said

"Yeah right. Like I will believe you" she looked at him sarcastically.

"You know Moony you really can sleep here." Sirius said as he shrugged.  
Remus sighted. He gave up because he was even too tired to argue right now.

"Do you have any clothes to lend to Remus for tonight?" Tonks asked Sirius.

"I can give you a t shirt and one of my pyjama pants" Sirius said but he was also getting sleepy.

"Ok. I'll help you go to your room" Tonks said smiling but there was so much concern in the way she looked at him.

"Thanks" he said smiling. She helped him getting up, holding his arm and when he was on his feet he put his arm around her. He felt ashamed to need her like that. She shouldn't have to do that, he was a man for Merlin's beard!  
She helped him walking up the stairs and when they arrived to the room she helped him sit on the bed and when he eventually sit she placed both her hands on his cheeks and she leant to kiss his forehead.

"I'll get you Sirius's clothes." Tonks said and she left the room. She didn't seem bothered to help him or maybe she was just hiding it very well. He felt ashamed and angry about himself but he was even too tired to do something. He hated being a werewolf. She came back after a few minutes.

"Here I think you're lucky because he said the pants were too big for him so it should be your size since you're taller than him." She said smiling a bit.

"Thank you very much Dora" he said trying to smile.

"Well, it's Sirius's clothes" she said in a cool voice.

"It's not only for the clothes" he said. Maybe she was annoyed doing this actually he thought.

"It's nothing" she said in a very soft voice, touching his untidy hair with her fingers.

"I'll let you change" she left and he heard her talk to Sirius but he couldn't clearly hear what they were talking about. She came back after a few minutes he was still sitting but in pajamas. He was getting more and more tired. She walked towards him laughing. She put her hands on his neck and said:

"If I don't tell you to lie in bed, you're not going to do it?" she asked

"I was just going to. I'm a bit slow when I'm tired" he answered even too tired to laugh.  
She leaned closer and kissed the top of his head.

"Go on; in your bed" she said laughing.  
He put himself in the sheets and she sat just next to him.

"I'll wait until you really asleep just in case you realize you need something. If you're thirsty or hungry: just tell me, right?" Tonks said in a very soft voice.

"You don't need to stay." He said, his voice was getting a bit hoarse.

"I know, but I want to." She said. She put her hand on his cheek, caressing gently.

"Thank you. You're definitely the best" he said. Every time he was tired it's like his brain stopped thinking before talking. But she smiled and kissed him on the cheek and whispered "Goodnight". He could feel her breath on his skin, it made him feel so warm inside, like there was a fire burning from inside his chest.  
She was about to get up so he caught her hand. She smiled and she leant closer to him again and kissed him again on the other cheek. He gently put his hand on her cheek and she caressed his nose with hers.

"Goodnight Remus" she whispered

"Goodnight Dora"  
She eventually moved from the bed and just sat in the chair that was in the room. He looked at her getting comfortable; she put off her shoes and put her arms around her knees and he turned on his side and closed his eyes. He was thinking about her. But after a few minutes, he was almost asleep but he heard Sirius's voice and tried to listen.

"Is he sleeping?" he said in a very calm voice. Why he has to speak in such a low voice, Remus thought. He had to concentrate to get the words.

"I think so yes" Tonks answered.

"You really make me think of Molly sometimes. You act the same way she acts with Arthur." Sirius started, Remus wanted to hear Tonks's answer but she didn't say anything and Sirius continued "You're here, taking care for him, waiting for him to sleep, checking on him, defending him in front of Snape even" Remus was surprised to hear Sirius's voice so serious, usually he would have joked about that.

"I – I care about him" she said in a soft voice.

"I see that. I think it's very great he has you in his life. As long as you don't give up on him; I think he's been used to people giving up on him after the war."

"Never" she answered and even if she must have add something Remus couldn't understand anything and just fell asleep and couldn't remember if they talked more or not

He woke up in the morning, he could see light coming through the door, when he turned his head and he saw her in the chair again. Tonks was still asleep; he got up; his body still hurt but he was able to move more easily. He kneeled down in front of her and started caressing her hair and her cheek.

"Dora" he whispered but she didn't react much. He repeated her name a few times and she eventually slowly woke up.

"Wotcher Remus" she said smiling and starting to open her eyes.

"Why didn't you leave?" he asked

"What?" she asked confused. Maybe it was a bit too soon to ask questions.

"You spent the night in the chair" Remus said.

"Oh, right. I don't know I just fell asleep. How are you?"

"Fine thanks but how are you?I can't believe you spent the night in that chair."

"It's ok, Remus. I'm fine."

"You could have simply come in the bed if you wanted to."

"Are you saying that you wanted to sleep with me?" she asked smiling.

"I'm just saying that I don't want you to spend the night in a chair for me." He said caressing her cheek, smiling kindly at her.

"What time is it?" she asked.

"I don't know." Remus said. He turned his head to look at the clock on the wall. "a bit more than 8:30 a.m" he turned to look back at her.

"It's Sunday, right?"

"Yes."

"Can we just lay in bed a bit?" she asked in such a sweet way that of course he couldn't have say no even if he had wanted to.

"Come here" he said opening his arms to her. She gently put her arms around his neck and left a kiss on his cheek on her way. He got up holding her tight and walked to the bed. He delicately put her on the bed; she sat and let her back fall down and so he lay down next to her.

"I'm sorry I made you holding me! I shouldn't have; I really didn't think."

"It's nothing Dora, I'm feeling better and you actually spent the night in a chair. That's the least I can do."

"Hum" she moaned "maybe" she just said and he couldn't help but let out a laugh.

He moved his arm and gently put his fingers in her hair, playing with it. They were a light pink but when he put his fingers in it she changed it into a pinkish purple. Remus smiled, he loved when she changed her hair, he was always so full of admiration even if he was kind of use to he was always like a kid in admiration when she did that.

"Like that color?" she asked smiling

"I like every color" he answered. He was not trying to be nice, he actually like every color. He thought she was beautiful in blonde, or with blue hair, even green hair one day, orange, purple, brown, red, Even if his favorite was the bright pink. That would always be his favorite color, it meant she was happy.

"People think I'm weird for not trying more normal colors but I like pink."

"I think pink suits you very much. Well, I don't know a color that doesn't suit you actually."

"I think you're still a bit tired Remus" she said almost laughing.

"Because I say nice things about you?" he said looking surprised

"Yes" she laughed.

"Well, I mean these things but maybe you're right because if I wasn't so tired I wouldn't actually say them out loud"  
She was looking embarrassed and was trying to hide her smile but Remus saw her. She suddenly turned her head to look at him and kissed him gently and quickly on the cheek.

"Thanks" she said in almost a whisper. He thought about what she had said to Sirius. He should be the one to thank her, he cared about her too. He wanted to protect her, he wouldn't let anything happen to her, he'd do anything to make her happy but he knew he shouldn't. He felt that he shouldn't tell her, not this way.  
In a quick move she came closer to him, her head on his chest and her arm around him. He put his arms around her and hugged her tight for a moment, then she looked at him.

"Maybe I should just leave while Sirius doesn't know I'm still here"

"No." he said a bit too quickly and she laughed "I mean, hum, no. Or maybe, you have something planned for today?"

"No, well yes actually. I have to take some stuff at my parents' house. I said I'd come today."

"Oh alright. Well in that case" he started.

"Come with me." She quickly said.

"What?"

"I'd like to come with me. Don't worry I'm not forcing you. I'm just saying it's be nice. And we're friends, right? not normal friends but friends. You don't have to feel forced or anything. I shouldn't have maybe. I'm sorry."

"No, uh. Alright. I'll go with you. But don't you think they're not going to like you to bring an old friend with you. I mean they want to see their daughter, don't they?"

"Don't worry about that. If I like you, why wouldn't they like you?" she said. She was smiling but trying not to smile too much so she was biting her lips. "So we get up?"

"Yes Miss Tonks" he said smiling. She moved her head from his chest and just sat on the bed. He moved his legs out of the sheets. His body was still hurting but he was still feeling better.

"I'll just, put my clothes on." He added in a calm voice.

"Well, I'll just wait for you at the door; we'll go downstairs together since we'll have to explain Sirius I slept here. I don't want to be alone with him; he will question me!" she said almost laughing and she started to walk to the door and just walked back to him she hugged him very tight and she walked to the door again, opened it very quietly and waited outside.  
He put on his clothes quickly because he didn't want her to wait too long. He tried to look passable and opened the door. She was waiting her back on the wall and she turned her head to look at him.

"Let's go" he said smiling. She walked down the stairs, almost dancing. He was such in a good mood.

"Wotcher Sirius" she shouted

"Tonks? What are you doing here? I didn't hear the umbrella stand!"

"Very funny Sirius."

"She fell asleep in the chair" said Remus and nodded at Sirius to say hi.

"Oh, very nice." Sirius said who was eating his breakfast.

"What do we have here for a breakfast?" Tonks asked opening cupboards.

"I don't know, Molly left things here." Remus walked closer to Tonks and looked with her into the cupboards. They were both looking at each other dearly.

"Sometimes I wonder if you two aren't secretly married or something." Sirius said, not smiling. Tonks looked at Remus, raised her eyebrows and said in an exaggerated surprised tone:

"Remus! You didn't tell him!" Remus played the game.

"Well I thought youwould!" he answered.

He saw her taking glasses in the cupboard, she was still laughing and he got up, he looked at Sirius smiling and he winked at him.

"Wait sweetheart, I'll help you." He was just behind her, and she got closer to him. He could feel her whole body against his and she leant her head against his chest looking at him. He got closer put his nose in her hair and she laughed softly.

"You – are -_ disgusting_" Sirius said.

"It's youwho started it" Tonks said laughing

Tonks took two glasses, and Remus took a bottle of a orange juice which was the only left in the fridge and another glass. They put everything on the table. Remus sat and Tonks walked behind him, kissed the top of his head on her way.

"Seriously, this joke is already too old." Sirius said shaking his head.

"I know" Tonks started

"For once, we're making fun of you" Remus said laughing.

"Do you want a cup of coffee, my love?" Tonks asked looking at Remus so tenderly again.

"And you're enjoying yourselves. BOTH OF YOU." Sirius said laughing now. "No doubt, one day, you'll invite me to your wedding."

"Of course I would invite you" Tonks said laughing, forcing a hug with Sirius who was trying to escape as much as he could.

"Help me Moony"

"Nope, this is way too funny." Remus said as he took a sip of his orange juice.

"Go see Remus! I'm sure he'd like a hug more than I do" Sirius said laughing.

"Would you?" Tonks asked laughing

"Oh please, you don't need to ask him" Sirius said still laughing.

Tonks walked towards Remus and she put her arms around his neck. Sirius was looking at them smiling so he just played the game again even if the rules were getting blurred. Actually there was no game anymore. He wrapped his arms around her hips and she let her head rest on his. They were both laughing quietly, maybe they were both a bit embarrassed.

"You see, that's a hug" Tonks said proudly.

They broke apart slowly, she moved back her head and he slowly moved back his arms, discretely letting a hand near her knee, striking gently without really realizing he was. . She let a hand on the back of his neck for a moment and she eventually sat on her chair.

"Yeah. It looks like something else to me" Sirius said.

"Shut up" Remus said laughing.

They all ate breakfast and talk like they always do.

* * *

_Hey everyone! Hope you had a good weekend :) I'm sorry I'm updating a day late, yesterday was a very sad day for me and trust me I wish it had been a normal day. I hope you like this one. I wrote it quite a long time ago but I really like it. _  
_I just wanted to right a word for a friend I lost. I hope he's doing fine wherever he is; I'm pretty sure he's with the stars, shining bright. I have a thought for him, because writing is what I love the most so it feels normal to dedicate this chapter to him. Sorry to bother you with my personal stuffs but I hope you understand what I wanted to do._  
_I'll update again this week since I'm in holidays. Have a good week :)_


	17. As simple as that

**Disclaimer : I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters.**

* * *

_"I've been spending the last 8 months_ t_hinking all love ever does_ i_s break and burn and end_. _But on a Wednesday in a cafe_ _I watched it begin again." Taylor Swift - Begin Again_

* * *

It was after lunch time when Tonks moved from the couch and sat on the armchair next to Remus. He was reading the newspaper; he couldn't help but smile when he saw her. He turned his head to look at her.

"I think I'm going to my parents now." She said "Hum. Do you want to come?" she asked in a very low voice.

"I told you this morning. Yes." He answered "but if you think it's not a good idea anymore I understand."

"No, it's just I mean, I let you the chance to say 'no'."

"Dora, if you want me to, I will come."

"But you want to?"

"Yes." He said nodding at the same time.

"Alright." She said smiling. She messed up his hair and got up. He looked at her trying to look angry but failed because he only ended up laughing.

"Remus and I are going to my parents to get me some stuffs."

"Remus and you?"

"Yes, I'm helping her" Remus answered trying to stop Sirius from making a joke.

"Have a good day Sirius" Tonks said as she walked to the fall to take her jacket.

"Gonna visit her parents, uh?"

"Shut up Sirius."

"You must _really_like her." Sirius said more seriously.

"Good afternoon Padfoot" Remus said as he left the room.

"What do you have to do at your parents? You told me you had stuffs to take." Remus asked her as they walked in the corridor.

"Just a few clothes and decoration stuffs that are still in my bedroom; I told them I would take them today."

"Alright."

"You'll help me, you'll take the boxes" she said smiling at him mischievously.

"I see why you wanted me to come now" They were just at the door and before he could open it she put her arms around his waist.

"Poor Remus darling, uh?" she said laughing.

"Exactly" he said as he hugged her back. "I'm following you" he said as they broke apart.  
They apparated in front of house that kind of looked like the burrow but a bit smaller, it had a big space around.  
They waited in front of the barrier when a man came. He was quite tall, with grey hair, brown eyes just like Tonks's.

"Ah! You're here! …with?"

"Remus Lupin" He said politely. He was feeling like a little kid in front of a teacher.

"He's a friend of mine. I asked him to help me with my stuffs." She said as he opened the barrier.

"Alright. Well, Remus. I can call you Remus?"

"Of course"

"Welcome Remus."

"Thanks, Mr Tonks." Nymphadora poked his elbow smiling.  
They walked down a path that led to the door of the house; before they reached it the door opened. A woman with long black hair opened. She had brown eyes but darker, more like Sirius's eyes. Of course, she was a Black. Sometimes Remus could forget that both Sirius and Tonks were part of the Black family.

"Nymphadora!" She said happily.

"Mum, stop calling me Nymphadora!"

"That's your name!"

"But everyone calls me Tonks. And that's my name too."  
She looked at Remus surprised.

"Hello, Remus Lupin." He said as he nodded politely. He felt even less comfortable in front of her mother than in front of her dad.

"Hello" she said but Tonks quickly spoke.

"He's a friend of mine. I asked him to help me, and he kindly accepted, right Remus?" They all walked in the house.

"Exactly" he answered.

"Do you have that much things to take?" She asked. Alright, Remus felt even less comfortable.

"No. Well I don't know actually. But I wanted Remus to come with me. He _got to_ to see the garden!"  
Ted Tonks laughed.

"You were a friend of Sirius Black, weren't you?" Andromeda asked

"Yes. We were in the same year in Hogwarts, same house too so we've spent our years together."  
She nodded.

"You'll eat something?" Ted Tonks asked nicely.

"We've eaten not a long time ago." Nymphadora answered looking from her dad to Remus.

"You've eaten together?" Ted Tonks asked surprised but smiling.

"Well, uh, yes with friends" Remus answered awkwardly.

"With that friend I've talked you about, you know dad?" Remus looked surprised at Tonks. She had told them about Sirius. "Don't worry. I've done things properly" she said as she winked at him.

"Well, I don't doubt that" he said smiling as he shook his head.  
Ted Tonks looked at them smiling.

"You'll take a coffee?"

Tonks looked at Remus smiling "Alright, we will. But not for me, I'll just take an orange juice." Ted and Andromeda walked to the kitchen and Nymphadora waited before following them.

"You see? My dad likes you!"

"I wish you could say the same about you mother" he whispered.

"She needs more time. Once she'll get to know you she'll like you too! By the way, they know about your little fury problem."

"What?" he wanted to shout but he worked hard to keep his voice low.

"I've told them a long time ago."

"You've talked about me to your parents."

"Of course. You're important to me" she said looking away like she was feeling guilty. He made a step closer to her and leant to kiss her hair.

"Let's go" she said. As he walked behind her he realized how much he loved her. He wanted to be with her and he would be thinking of the perfect way to tell her how much he was in love with her and that he was – finally – ready to be with her if she still wanted to. He just needed to think of how and when.  
They all sat in the kitchen; her parents had put coffee cups on the table for everyone. Tonks got up, opened a cupboard, everyone was looking at her and she turned back with a bar of honey dukes chocolate. She broke a piece of it and handed it to Remus smiling casually, like this was the most normal thing. Mr Tonks tried to hide his smile as he saw his daughter doing this and Andromeda Tonks seemed surprised. Remus felt embarrassed in front of her parents; his dad seemed apparently quite happy about their complicity but her mother was hiding everything.

"Thanks" Remus said in a very low voice. Tonks took a piece of chocolate herself and she dipped it in Remus's coffee, looking at him smiling.

"So, what are you currently doing Remus?" Ted Tonks asked.

"I have a job in a little store; it sells books and other things. It's quite recent." He answered "I'll hope I'll keep it." Remus added after he chuckled.

"Dad, why are you asking this?" Nymphadora asked a bit upset.

"It's fine. " Remus said politely.

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to be rude. I know it's mustn't be easy." Ted Tonks answered, looking from his daughter to Remus. Andromeda remained silent.

"It's alright Mr Tonks, really. And I got used to it." Remus said, keeping his tone very polite.

"It's unfair" Tonks said in a very low voice, she was looking at the table, lost in her thoughts.

"If you were at school with Sirius, how old are you?" Andromeda suddenly asked. Remus couldn't help but let a little laugh out.

"I'm 35."

"And I'm 21. How old are you Dad?" Tonks said annoyed but tried to make a joke of it.

"I'm afraid I'm 50." Ted Tonks answered laughing.

"And how old are you, mum?"

"Nymphadora" she said before she sighted

"No, you asked that question. Now we're asking you."

"We don't ask a woman's age." Ted Tonks said smiling. "Do we, Remus?"

"I don't think so." He answered smiling

"You see? But she's 49. I've told mine Dromeda. It's only fair."

Maybe he would wait a little before talking to Tonks about his feelings. Maybe he shouldn't have come at all. His mother didn't seem to like him, or she seemed suspicious. It was like she was remembering him all the cons, he was too old, a werewolf, and even if for now he had a job he wasn't paid well.

"Let's go to my room. So it will be done!" Tonks said as she got up. Remus got up too. "You'll see, it's very different from my apartment!" she said smiling.  
They walked to the corridors and Remus heard her mother saying "He's been to her apartment."

"He seems a nice man" her dad answered.

They walked up the stairs, and Tonks opened a white door. He entered a big colourful room. There were 2 windows which made the room very luminous. Posters of the Harpies, one or 2 of the Weird Sisters and Hufflepuff's coat of arms. A quite big bed with a light pink duvet. And pictures of her family and friends. Tonks closed the door, walked to a window, opened it and walked back to Remus. He was looking at her, not smiling but lost in his thoughts. All the cons came up again. But he wanted so bad with her.

"What's wrong?" she asked

"Nothing."

"Please Remus, I know you."

"Maybe I shouldn't have come."

"What are you saying?" she asked, her eyebrows raised and she seemed quite surprised.

"I don't think your parents like that one of your friends is a werewolf way older than you."

"Shut up Remus" she said smiling. She was smiling. Sometimes he just didn't understand her, how she wasn't annoyed or bothered. She slid her arms around his neck and rested her head on his shoulder. He let his arms slid on her back, holding her tight.  
She sighted before saying his name. She had nothing to add but Remus had noticed that she usually said his name when he hugged her, or put his arms around her. He never minded and he never would. He kissed her hair and let the scent of her hair coming to his nose. It smelled of strawberry, peonies and something that reminded him of cotton flower, like the fresh air.

"So that's your bedroom" he said, laughing a bit.

"Remus Lupin, do not mock me."

"I'm not. Actually I can't say I'm surprised."  
She moved her head to look at him, she had let her hands on his neck. They didn't speak for a moment and then he started.

"I don't think your mother like me at all" he said

"You know, that's kind of a good beginning with her. She's just a bit distrustful you know. I told you: once she'll get to know you she'll like you. It's hard to get her trust but once you have it."

"It's just, you know, I understand why she doesn't like. If I were her I wouldn't either."

"That's why I'm here. Because you hate yourself and I'm here, trying to show you all the good in you." She said smiling and she put back her head on his shoulder, holding him very tight. He lifted her up from the floor and she laughed like a little kid and he put her back on her feet. He moved back his arms and she did the same.

"So, what are we doing here?" he asked as he caressed her cheek with the back of his fingers.

"There are a few clothes, and some decorations stuffs that I want to take to my apartment. I have 2 boxes, which should be enough."

"Alright." He nodded.

They started with her cupboard, he was just next to her, leaning on the door of the cupboard while she was rediscovering her cupboard, sometimes laughing at old clothes which even Remus found ridiculous. Remus walked in the room, he had a box full of stuffs already in his hands, he put it on the edge of the window. He was looking at pictures on her wall and he saw a little pink haired girl riding a bike.

"Oh my.. That's you?!" He said laughing. She was adorable, wearing purple and blue clothes on a pink bike completely decorated with stickers and golden tape.  
She threw him a pillow with so much strength that Remus was caught by surprise and he tripped on another box that was at his feet. He fell on the floor, laying on his back, the pillow just next to him.

"Oh sorry!" Tonks shouted as she came closer to him. She reached out her hand for him to get up. He took her hand and pulled her on him so she fell too. She was laying on him and they were both laughing.

"Is everything alright?" Ted Tonks asked from far in the house.

"Yes, Remus fell on the floor."

"Nice" Remus whispered to her.

"I didn't know clumsiness was contagious" Ted Tonks said laughing.

"I didn't mean to make you fall" Nymphadora said, moving his hair that was falling on his eyes.

"I hope so" Remus answered laughing.

"But you did mean to make me fall!"

"You like that I made you fall."

"No."

"Yes you do."

"Maybe.

"Dora."

"Alright. Yes, I'm glad you did." She said as she kissed him on the cheek.

"And for you information, you throw me a pillow for no reason."

"You were making fun of me." She shouted

"Nice reaction!" Remus said laughing

"Sorry" she said, hiding herself, but still laughing.

"I was about to say that you were adorable when you were a kid… But you still are of course."

"Remus."

"Yes?"

She sighted before she answered "Nothing" she answered and she kissed him on the other cheek.

"I'm happy you came." She added.

"I'm glad I came." He paused "Do you have more things to take? And are you taking this pillow?

"I don't know. If you like it I can take it." She said laughing. "And no, I'm almost done. I'm only taking those books and I think I've taken everything I wanted."

"Alright. So you can get up, maybe?" he said laughing.

"Am I too fat for you, maybe?" she said trying to sound outraged

"No, you're not." He answered laughing "but what if one of your parents comes in."

"None of them will come in. And if they did I'd just say that _you_ made me fall!"  
He burst out laughing.

"You threw me a pillow so violently I fell!"

"Oh poor darling." She said as she touched his nose with the tip of her finger.

"I deserve comfort, I think."

"Yes you do. Come on, get up" she said as she moved away.  
He got up and she was just in front of him, she was trying not to laugh but he didn't know why she wanted to laugh in the first place. He was looking at her sceptically.  
She threw her arms around his neck, wrapping her legs around his waist; he put his arms around her laughing, holding her tight.

"I hope you're feeling better" she said no doubt she was smiling, still trying not to laugh.

"I am" he answered and she looked at him, smiling and she did what he loved. She kissed him on the cheek like a dozen of times.

"I'm feeling _much_ better".  
She got down on her feet, and she let her hands down on the front of his jumper.

"We need to go outside. I want to show you something." She said calmly.  
They took the two boxes full of stuffs; Remus held the heavier and they walked down the stairs, putting them in the hall.

"You've taken everything?" Ted Tonks asked smiling.

"I think so yes" she said smiling. "I'm showing Remus the garden!"

"Alright. Then we'll be in the living room."

"'right dad!" she said smiling big.  
He followed her out by the back door. There was a long garden behind the house with many species of flowers on both sides and at the end a huge weeping willow. She walked to be under it, the tree branches bending around them.

"I love that tree" she said looking around her. "I think it's very beautiful, you know. The lights trying to find a path through the branches; and the wind moving everything." She said, holding a thin branch in her fingers, she looked up at him smiling. Her hair was moving because of the wind but she didn't seem to care. At that moment, Remus realized once again, how beautiful she was.  
She made a step closer to him and tried to hold his hand but he quickly put his hands in his trousers pockets. Her eyebrows rose in surprise.

"What if your parents see us? They wouldn't understand."

"They won't see us. It's Sunday, they are watching muggle tv in the living room." She said calmly "and please, tell me what wouldn't they understand?" she asked playfully.

"Our… friendship."

"Well, I don't know a lot of people who would understand it." She said, a smile still on the corner of her lips.

"Dora, I'm sor-"

"Don't, it's just a joke." She said as she put her hand on his wrist, caressing gently with her thumb.  
He moved back his hand from his pocket and he let his fingers finding hers.

"Remus"

"Yes?"

"You know exactly what I want to say. Don't push me away." She said "I'm not a freak yet, am I?" she added laughing.  
He pulled her hand behind him so she had to walk closer to him.

"Come here" he said in a low voice, smiling. She wrapped her arms around his waist. He put his arm around her shoulders and kissed the top of her hair. He slid his other arm around her shoulders too, in a very protective way. She was holding him very tight again.

"It's a very beautiful place" he said in a low voice like he didn't want to perturb this atmosphere.

"I know. That's why I wanted you to see it." She said in the same tone he had.

"Thank you." He simply answered.  
She showed him a special kind of flowers that change colours, and other stuffs in the garden. He was following her through the garden, listening to her explanations. She told him stories about her childhood and he told her stories about his childhood, most of them being Marauders's stories. She loved listening to his stories, just as much as he loved listening to hers.  
They walked back in the house and found her parents in the living room, her mother had prepared little cakes and it reminded Remus of Molly's cakes.

Remus sat in the couch while her mother was sitting in the chair in front of him, next to Ted Tonks who was sitting in another chair. The little cakes were in a tray, on the little table in the middle of all the chairs and couch. Tonks walked between the sofa and the little table and she tripped on a pillow that had fallen on the floor, just next to Remus.  
Instinctively, Remus put his hands around her so she wouldn't fall. He wasn't sure she would have fall anyway but it was a natural reflex. She let herself sit on his lap smiling kindly.

"Thank you" she said in a wanted-to-be-casual voice but seemed way too happy.

"I still wonder how you managed to pass the Auror examination." Andromeda said. Then she just smiled. She smiled.  
Tonks moved from his lap and sat just next to him. She leant towards the table and took a little brown cake with a pink top. She handed it to Remus, not even looking at him; he hadn't the time to take it before her mother spoke.

"There are different ones, let him choose" Remus was surprised she was even speaking. Maybe Tonks was right, maybe she just needed time.

"What do you want?" Tonks turned her head to look at him, biting the cake.

"I think I would have taken this one." Remus answered politely.  
Tonks laughed, swallowed and looked at him smiling.

"Too late" she laughed and she handed him the same one, a chocolate brown with a cherry top.

"Thank you" he answered smiling.

"When did you two meet?" Ted Tonks asked smiling, looking very interested.  
Tonks turned to look at Remus frowning.

"It was in June" Remus said as he looked back at her.

"So, 4 months ago. Only 4 months." She said, almost surprised.

"It seems like way much longer to me."

"Yeah" she said looking at him much more kindly. She seemed surprised that they knew each other since 4 months only; it was right that they were incredibly close and it was like they knew each other since forever.

"It seems like you've known each other for years" Ted Tonks said smiling.

"Uh, yeah." Remus said feeling very awkward at that moment. "We've spent quite a lot of time together, cleaning and at some meetings."

"Cleaning? You couldn't even clean your own room!" Ted Tonks said smiling and Andromeda laughed.

"It's not true! It was clean, just a bit messy" she defended herself.

"No, no Nymphadora." Andromeda assured smiling.

"Anyway, she helped me and our _friend_a lot in the house."

"Thank you Remus!" she said louder like it would prove her parents wrong. Remus couldn't help but laugh.

"By the way, Nymphadora, you didn't tell me. What do you want for your birthday?"

"Your birthday?" Remus asked surprised turning his head to look at Tonks.

"Mum!" she shouted like a kid.

"What, I owled you last time, and you didn't answer."

"When is your birthday?"

"October, the 24th."

"And I wouldn't have known!" Remus answered.

"It's fine" Tonks said shyly. Remus shook his head smiling and she gently stroke his knee smiling back kindly.

"When is yours?" she asked after a few seconds.

"10th of March."

"I'll remember it." She said smiling. He put his hand on hers quickly before he remembered he was in front of her parents who were politely looking away.

After a little moment, when Remus and Tonks had realized they were not the only people in the room Andromeda spoke again.

"So what do you want?"

"I don't know, Mum. I'll tell you when I know."

"Soon please."

"Yes, mum!"  
They talked for a few hours and Remus loved seeing Tonks with her family. She seemed so happy and he could have stayed there for hours. Listening to her and talking with her family who at the end had accepted him. Of course they were still a bit reserved but they were not cold with him and he knew that it was not about his lycanthropy. They did not care about that, just like Tonks.  
They eventually left at the end of the day and Ted Tonks even said "We'll hope to see you again Remus" which make Remus feel very happy and proud that Nymphadora's parents had accepted him just like he was. Even though for the moment they only thought they were friends. Maybe that would change if they were a real couple.  
They apparated to her apartment with the two heavy boxes; Tonks opened the door and he put them on the desk that was in the living room. She closed the door and she walked towards him silently, surprising him when she wrapped her arms around him by behind.  
He moved his arm for her to come in front of him and she did so. She rested her chin on his chest, looking up at him smiling.

"That was a good day."

"Yes it really was" he said as he passed his hand in her bright pink hair.

"We'll see each other soon, uh?"

"Of course. You already miss me when I'm not even gone?" He said, laughing a bit.

"You wish!" she said playfully

"You miss me when I'm not here." he affirmed mischievously.

"You wish! But I know _you_ miss _me _when I'm not with you."

"You wish!" he said mimicking her tone.

He leant to kiss her forehead very kindly.

"Good night Dora"

"I wish you a good night too Remus" she said in a very low voice.

She hugged him tight for a moment again and she let go of him, but holding his hand and not letting him go after a moment, like she always do.

* * *

_Hey everyone! I thought I would have updated sooner but I was quite busy. I think I'll update tonight too. _  
_I hope you like this one! I quite like it so I really hope you do! I had to make up Tonks birthday because I don't know it, and I didn't find it. _  
_Don't hesitate to review, I think I had blocked anonymous reviews (I saw that when I went on the website with my phone) so I changed it, in case one of you wanted to review and doesn't have an account. _  
_For those who are in holidays : you're lucky! enjoy your day :)  
and for those who, like me, are back to school : We can do it! haha :)  
__I wish you a very good day / night (depends on where you live(: ). I really think I'll upload tonight. :)_  



	18. I've got a war in my mind

**Disclaimer:**** I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters** (Before you start, I uploaded 2 chapters to day, are you sure you've read Chapter 17?)

* * *

_"Don't break me down. I've been travelin' too long; I've been trying too hard with one pretty song. Been tryin' hard not to get into trouble, but I've got a war in my mind." __Ride__ - Lana Del Rey_

* * *

Remus was on his way to work. He was glad he had finally find one and hoped he would keep it as long as possible. He opened the door of the little shop and walked in.

"Hello" he said joyfully.

"Oh. Remus." His employer said, almost disappointed.

"What's wrong?" Remus asked as he closed the door, completely lost about what was happening.

"I didn't tell you. I forgot."

"You didn't tell me what?"

"Well, you weren't there Friday and Saturday.."

"I told you… There was you know what."

"Yeah. But, well Nicholas was searching for a job and you weren't here."

"You hired him." Remus figured out.

"Yes."

"Before you had even fired me."

"I'm sorry but you weren't here."

"I thought you had understood." Remus said disappointed almost angry.

"I'm sorry Remus."

"Yeah. Good luck." He said and he opened the door and left. He walked outside for a moment, not willing to go home yet. He didn't know how he had believed he could keep a job. The only one who had never mind was Dumbledore, but parents didn't like a werewolf to teach their children. They like a liar who had never done anything in life, but not a werewolf living among them since he's born.  
It was still a bit cold outside, it was 7:30. Remus had even came early at his job, for what? Getting fired. He would send an owl to Sirius maybe, just to tell him. He always told him.  
Tonks. He wouldn't tell her, not now. He had just seen her the day before, everything was fine. He would tell her, later. There was a meeting on Thursday, he would have to tell her eventually. But right now, he didn't want to explain to her he had lost his job. That was just a proof that Tonks and him couldn't get together. That's the reason why he was so angry about it. He would never be normal.

_** Thursday **_

Tonks arrived in the kitchen, Remus was reading the newspaper and Sirius was leaning on the counter. Molly and Arthur were already here, Bill wouldn't come today and Dumbledore was already sitting at the big table.

"We can start the meeting" Mad-Eye shouted and everyone moved to the big table.

"Wotcher" she said walking in the room so she was saying hi to everyone. Remus glanced quickly at her.  
Remus was actually too upset to talk to anyone and especially her. He didn't want to explain that he had lost his job. He pretended he was reading the newspaper seriously.

"Hi" he just said and apparently she seemed surprised of his coldness. Of course he knew that was a risk but he kept reading the article very seriously. Something about the minister but he had to admit he had no idea what they were really talking about in this article.

Tonks always preferred to sit near Remus but she hadn't have time to go talk to him as usual before the meeting so she was quite far from him. It was silly but she liked being near him even though they were not talking. She liked feeling his presence.  
The meeting went on; Remus sitting next to Arthur had put the newspaper on the table. Tonks was sitting quite away from him, sometimes she was looking at him and smiled that kind smile of hers but she was looking sad at him. Remus wondered if she already knew he got fired and she was pitying him or if she was sad because he was cold with her. He was having an interior war, he wanted to go to her and tell her everything because he loved her and she was the one he wanted to be with; but he had just lost his job, he couldn't be right for her, and he was angry about himself so it wouldn't be nice for her.  
At the end of the meeting everyone joined little groups; Molly and Kingsley were talking with Arthur while Mad-Eye was talking with Dumbledore. At first Sirius was speaking with Dumbledore but he had noticed that Tonks was looking at Remus.  
Sirius walked towards her and they talked and even if Remus didn't clearly understand everything he kind of guessed with what he heard.

"What's going on?" Tonks asked him casually after a little light talk.

"He got fired" Sirius whispered but actually Remus didn't want to hear more so after a few minutes Remus left the room and headed to the living room wondering if he should just leave or not. It's not that he wanted to be alone in his house, but what the point of staying here was. Remus finally decided that he'd stay a little bit and just sat on the couch. He had taken the newspaper with him even though he didn't want to read it.

He was used to be fired but that never was something he liked. And now there was Tonks, he felt ashamed to tell her he got fired because he's a werewolf. She would surely reject him and she'd be right to do so. Or even worse, she would pity him. As he was thinking about her he heard footsteps and he recognized them. Nymphadora Tonks. Her light clumsy walk with these boots.

"Remus" she whispered in his ear as she slipped her arms around his neck from behind the sofa.

"Yes?" he simply said.

"Why didn't you just tell me? I would have come earlier. I would have come to see you at the end of my day." She said.

"What for? There's nothing to do." He said laughing sarcastically.

"I would have been there… for you."

"I don't want your pity" He answered.

"This is not pity, Remus" she said as she put her hands on his. She was caressing the back of his hand with her thumb.

"I can't even keep a bloody job" he said sharply as he threw the newspaper on the floor. He let his head in his hands, elbows on his knees. She stroked his back gently for a moment.

"It's not you who are the problem." She said in a quiet voice

"Oh yeah, what is it? It's only because I'm a were-" he started

"Society is the problem." she said as she put her chin on his shoulder. "There's nothing wrong with you. These people are the problem, Remus" she said and she left a kiss on his shoulder and rested her forehead. She squeezed his hand and he did the same as response.

"Now may I sit here?" she said looking at the empty space next to him.

"Of course" he answered and she moved back his arms. She jumped on the sofa and sat just next to him, she put her feet on the sofa. She took his hand in hers, holding it very tight.

"Why do you try to put walls between you and me?" she asked trying to sound casual.

"Don't you understand?" he started "It's another proof that you should be interested in someone else. I'm not good for you. I'm a werewolf; society will never accept me. You shouldn't even spend time with me." He said angrily.

"I won't let you down" she said surprised.

"You should."

"You _think_I should. But I'm not giving up on you."

"Everyone would think the same."

"The day you'll realize I don't care."

"You should care, Dora. This is important." He said sharply.

"No it's not. I don't care about it. I've told you so many times."

"And I told you many times too that you should-" he started.

"Stop that, Remus! I'm here. With you, and for you. Don't push me away. It's me. It's just me. Stop doing that, you know it's not gonna work" she said getting angrier.

"It's _just_you. You don't realize that I wouldn't be so upset if it wasn't for you" he said turning to look at her for the first time since she had sat next to him.

"Remus" she whispered again, gently putting her free hand on his cheek. "I accept you just as you are, no less, no more." She threw her arms around his neck, holding him tightly. He held her back after a few seconds and stroked her back gently for a moment. She turned her head to kiss him on the cheek. They broke apart and she just sat next to him. She rested her head on his shoulder and he kissed her hair.  
"Don't push me away." She whispered "Please" she added after a few seconds.

"Alright but I still think you'd be happier spending times with someone else."

"Maybe, but it doesn't mean it's true." And she held his hand again, their fingers crossed he gently caressed her thumb with his.

"You deserve the best" he whispered.

"So I _do_deserve you?!" she laughed that special laugh she had when she was proud of her joke.

"You're crazy" he said laughing.

"I'm not." She said still laughing.

"Yes you are, Dora, but it's what makes you, you."  
She kissed him on the cheek again and put her head back on his shoulder. Sirius entered the living room too; Remus had almost forgotten that he was at Grimmauld Place and that Tonks and he were not the only people on earth.

"Arthur and Molly just left"

"Oh we didn't say goodbye" Tonks said disappointed.

"I don't think they mind." Sirius said casually.

Sirius sat in the chair, not saying a word but when he looked at Tonks, leaning on Remus, her head on his shoulder he looked surprised. Tonks must have noticed his startled look because she spoke first.

"Remus had a hard day; I think he deserves a special treatment." She said trying to sound casual again but Remus couldn't help but laugh at her words. And Sirius looked even more surprised.

"Alright" he started "You see, you should have told her sooner." he continued laughing

"Ha!" Tonks almost shouted.

"Maybe but can we speak about anything but this?" he asked as he shook his head.

"What? The job or the fact that you're holding my cousin's hand and that she's cuddling up on you?"  
Remus and Tonks both laughed but neither of them moved.

"The job, or both actually." Remus laughed.

"Something funny happened at the ministry for once" Tonks started.

"Funny story! Go on" Sirius said smiling.

"Well, at this office there was this guy who's upsetting everyone because he's acting like he's better than anyone. And apparently someone pranked him and every time he would pretend he's better than someone else there was a cloud that formed over him and it started raining. It happened 5 times before we understood how it worked and after he tried to break the charm but the person who did it was good."

"How did the guy got this charm on him without noticing?" Sirius asked very interested in the subject.

"We don't know. No one knows actually."

"Do you remember what we did to Snape?" Sirius asked Remus smiling big at the memory.

"Well, there were quite a lot.." Remus answered.

"Remus: a bad guy. I wish I could have seen that." Tonks said smiling, moving her head to look at him. Remus looked at her, smiling mischievously.

"You know Remus was a Marauder, just like James and I, we were having quite a lot of fun." Sirius said proudly.

"Oh I really don't doubt that! I just wish I could have been there" she said laughing "Not that he's not anymore."

"Well you did get wiser with time" Sirius said laughing.

"Wise?" Remus laughed.

"But the Marauder's still there" Sirius said laughing.  
"I think so but we all grew up" Remus said

"Yep" Sirius answered.

Tonks squeezed his hand and smiled at him. She rested her head on his shoulder again and she started caressing his arm with her free hand.

"But I got lost. I was talking about Snape." And Sirius told Tonks one (which became two and three) stories of prank on Snape. Remus liked to remember those moments at Hogwarts and he liked to see Sirius so happy to share his knowledge on pranks. Tonks was laughing time to times but she never moved from her place.

"I'm so hungry" Tonks said after quite a moment

"Me too" Sirius added.

"We should cook" Tonks said smiling but of course Sirius acted like he didn't hear anything.

"I'll cook with you" Remus said smiling.

"So Sirius, you'll wait here?" Tonks said laughing.

"Yep" he said laughing.

Remus and Tonks got up and walked to the kitchen; she discretely held his hand on their way, carefully so Sirius would not see.

"You know that I suck at cooking?" Tonks said laughing.

"You already told me yes. I'll do something simple; there're some stuffs in the fridge"

"Alright." She said looking at him with such tender in her eyes, with a sweet small smile. She turned to open the fridge and he hugged her from behind, resting his head against her. She slightly turned her head, the tip of their nose touching. He tightened her hold on her and she put her hands on his.

"Remus" she whispered smiling.

"Yes, Dora?" he whispered sliding his lips on her cheek and eventually left a kiss.

"Nothing, I just wanted to say your name" she whispered laughing quietly.

"We should do something or Sirius will wonder what we're doing." She said after quite a moment, her eyes still closed and caressing his arm.

"Hum… yes."  
He moved his head but he let her arms around her.

"There's this pre-prepared stuff; we just have to put it on a stove. And there are eggs here." She said lazily.

"Let's take all of it." He answered and she handed the bag to him, took the eggs and closed the fridge's door. She handed it to him and he opened the little bag, put it in a stove and put it on the heat.  
Tonks sat on the counter, looking at him cracking the eggs in a bowl.

"I could look at you cooking for hours" He looked up at her and she was leaning on her side on the cupboard next to her, smiling that genuine smile of her.

"Do I look funny cooking?" he looked back at the bowl.

"No. You look as handsome as always but I don't know; you look peaceful."

"Oh" he said smiling, putting the eggs in another stove.  
He was leaning on the counter, looking at her smiling, arms folded. She reached out her hand and managed to catch the front of his sweater. She brought him closer as she said "Come here" and actually, he didn't fight back.  
He was just in front of her, his hands lay on the counter just next to her knees. He rested his forehead on hers and she gently caressed his neck with the tip of her fingers. He kissed her forehead, her temple, and her cheek. She was laughing quietly which made Remus smile. He loved that little laugh of hers. She moved her hands on his waist, her forehead still resting on his.

"Remus" She said again.

"Do you have anything to add this time?"

"Yes" she said laughing "I don't know how to say this it's so stupid. I'm gonna ruin everything." She said laughing.

"Go on" he said, looking at her smiling trying to reassure her.

"I care so much about you" she took his hand in hers "I'm… almost scared you know. I never thought I would care so much about someone. I always thought I would be the kind of girl who's independent but you're here. And… and I'm scared because now I'm afraid that you'll leave, that you'll get tired of me or that I don't know..." She said never looking at him.  
He put his hands on her neck, gently forcing her to look at him.

"I feel the exact same way, you know." He said smiling at her.

"Are you sure everything's all right?" he added. Even if sometimes she was telling him more about her feelings for him, there was something about the way she was telling him this time. She did not exactly seem desperate but she seemed tired and relieved to tell him.

She sighted and looked down at the floor. Remus moved to flip the food in the stove trying to act casual.  
She got down and leaned on the table. Remus turned to look at her and waited for her answer, not insisting. She was still looking down and he could tell that something was wrong, she seemed concerned. He reached out his hand and she did just the same; their hands found each other naturally. Everything was natural with them but as natural as it was Remus always had this strange feeling when their skins touched, something relaxing and soft all over his body.  
He walked one step closer to her.

"It's just…" she started and she brought him a step closer again. "It's getting tense at the Ministry"  
She got closer again and leaned against him, she was not hugging him but she was just leaning on him. Her head was resting on his chest and she was still holding his hand.

"Don't worry I'm not… I mean I'm doing my job… my jobs actually. But it's exhausting. They're getting suspicious and so I just pretend everything is fine and it's exhausting."

"Why didn't you tell me?" he whispered

"Why? There's nothing you can do." She said, not angry.

"I would have been there for you"

"Well, you did the same.."

"Seems like it."

"We need to be there for each other Remus. We can't stay alone anymore. That's why I was glad to come here today. I needed to see you."

"Do you work on Saturday?" he whispered

"Luckily not! One last day to go." She said smiling and he just kissed the top of her head. She looked up at him smiling and he kissed the tip of her nose.

"I'm glad I have you, Remus" she whispered as he kissed her nose.  
He started to smell the food burning in the stove.

"Shit" he said when he realized. They broke apart and she laughed when she saw him moving the food in the stove with a fork. Everything was burnt black on one side.

"Well, it will give a little taste" she said laughing. "we should eat in the living room."

"Alright, can you take the plates and the cutlery? I'll take the rest"

"Alright" she said as she walked behind him, stroking his back on her way.  
He followed her in the living room; they put everything on the little table in the middle of the sofa and the chairs. When everyone had started eating Sirius finally spoke.

"You were two in the kitchen. How could it burn in front of you?" Tonks laughed at his remark and he continued "No doubt you weren't concentrated at all in the food."

"Next time, you'll do it yourself" Tonks said laughing. "Shit we forgot drinks"

"I'll go" Remus quickly said but she had already gotten up

"No, it's fine." She said smiling at him.  
Sirius and Remus were left alone; Sirius rose his eyebrows a few time, smiling.

"Shut up, Sirius" Remus said laughing.

"I didn't say anything."

"You don't need to. Stop that." Remus said trying not to laugh.  
Tonks came back and they ate talking about everything and anything. Tonks fell asleep in the couch and after a moment they both thought they should wake her up since she was working the day after.  
Sirius volunteered to wake up Tonks of course and went in the kitchen coming back with a glass of cold water.

"Get out of this room right now Padfoot." Remus said "You have so not changed" he said laughing.

"I'll wake her up"

Sirius looked disappointed and went back to the kitchen.  
Remus caressed her cheek softly, moved the hair that was falling on her eyes.

"Dora" he said in a soft voice and repeated it a few times.

"It's time to wake up, Dora" he said smiling because at his words she just moaned.

"Come on sweetheart" _SWEETHEART_why did he say that, he thought.

"Only if you repeat that again" she moaned and Remus just laughed.

"I still have the water" Sirius said from the kitchen.

"No thanks" he said loud enough for Sirius to hear.

"Come on _Sweetheart_" he whispered laughing

"Alright" she slowly opened her eyes and moved to sit in a better way.

"We thought we should wake you up"  
"You were right" she said smiling. She got up and they both walked to the kitchen. On their way she spoke again.

"I'll go home" she said smiling but her eyes seemed lost.

"I'll side apparate you"

"You don't need to"

"You're tired. It's better."

"You're leaving, Remus?" Sirius asked

"I'll take Tonks home"

"Alright." Sirius said smiling way too much "You'll come back, mate? It's not late" Sirius said casually

"I think so" Remus answered.

Tonks was too sleepy to say anything and they just walked out and disapparated to her apartment.  
She opened the door and she lead him inside.

"It's the second time you see my apartment. I haven't seen where you live yet."

"Well it's just you know. It's normal."

"But it's where _you_live so I want to see" she said

"You should go to bed" he said laughing

"Yeah" she said but she was not letting go of his hand.

"You want me to do like last time maybe?" he asked, a pinch of mockery in his voice.

"Hum… It's you who suggested it." Tonks said and she bit her lips.

"Go put your pyjamas on" he said laughing

Remus sat on the armchair of the sofa and took the Quibbler that was just on the couch. He curiously read it or more looked at it.  
Tonks came back, wearing a brown legging and a big ecru t shirt; she walked closer to him and slid herself into his arms. She rested her head on his chest, putting his chin on the top of her head and she closed her eyes. She was so tired it was cute.

"Come on" he said as he walked behind her, letting his arms around her.  
They walked to her room and she lay in her bed, he sat next to her on the side of the bed. She found her stuffed wold and she showed him smiling.

"Can you stay a little, Remus?" she asked, trying to smile but she was serious, and he could see in her eyes that there really was something bothering her. He knew what now, it was her job.

"Yes, Dora" he answered and he lay just next to her, on the duvet.  
They were playing with each other's hand, sometimes she was striking the hand features of his palm, sometimes he was striking her fingers down to the back of her hand.

"Do you want me to stay here until you fall asleep?" he said, without thinking much.  
"Thank you" she said before kissing his cheek. "That's a yes, just in case" she said laughing.

"I think I had understood." He said laughing "I should send a patronus to Sirius, I don't think I'll go back to Grimmauld."

"He's not getting drunk tonight" Tonks said laughing.

Remus got up, sent a patronus to Sirius saying "It's late, I'm tired too. I'm heading home, see you soon." And he went back to her bed, laying next her.  
He turned to kiss her temple, he was delicately caressing her face with the back of his finger.

"We're so not normal friends" Tonks said laughing quietly, her eyes closed.

"Well, we agreed on it, didn't we?" Remus said laughing too.  
She got closer to him and he kissed her hair.

"Thank you again" she whispered

"You don't have to. _I _should thank you." he whispered shaking his head a little. He loved spending time with her he didn't understand why she should thank him for staying.

"Goodnight Dora" He said before kissing her cheek.  
He waited maybe 10 or 15 minutes and he discretely left. As he walked in the living room he had the idea of leaving her a word.  
He found a paper and a muggle pen.

_Dora,  
I hope you slept just fine.  
You're beautiful when you're sleeping.  
Have a good day.  
Remus_

* * *

_Like I told you I updated twice today! For all the times I said I would and I didn't. Really, don't hesitate to review to tell me what you like and __dislike__! I'm not asking for review to update again, I don't like that but it's just that if you have any comment that could make me improve this fiction I'd be glad to read it :)  
Have a good week :) _


	19. You're messing with my mind

**Diclaimer ****: I do not own Harry Potter**

* * *

_"The real lover is the man who can thrill you by kissing your forehead or smiling into your eyes or just staring into space"_ Marilyn Monroe

* * *

"So, what's going on between you and Tonks?"  
"What? Nothing."  
"Oh please Remus, you can't lie to me."  
"Told you. It's.. nothing. We're good friends."  
"Yeah right, you're the one who volunteers to side apparate her if she's too tired; you go help her at her parents."  
"It's complicated."  
"Tell me everything." Sirius said proud that he had eventually made his friend talk even if it hadn't been that hard.  
"We're friends. We're not 'normal' friends.. okay? It's just that one day we kissed. Well, to be precise, she kissed me" Sirius's eyes widened in shock and then he laughed "Yeah I know. But I pushed her away."  
"What the hell mate?!"  
"Sirius, I'm not good enough for her. I'm 13 years older, do you realize that? And I can't keep a job! And anyone who will know she's with me will reject her. I can't do that to her."  
"I'm sure she doesn't give a shit about this, does she?"  
"You know her well. She doesn't. But I do."  
"Come on Remus! You deserve someone who loves you and she does. I mean, why are you complicated everything?"  
"Because things aren't simple!"  
"But.. you have feelings for her?"  
"Sirius, why do you want to talk about this, isn't it weird? She's your little cousin!"  
"Yeah, and you're my best friend. It would be great."  
"Sirius, that wouldn't be a life for her."  
"Do you have feelings for her?" Sirius insisted.  
Remus hesitated before he could answer. "Yes." He admitted "Of course yes" he added as he chuckled.  
"So what's so complicated?"  
"You know what."  
"Does she have feelings for you?" Sirius asked almost laughing.  
"Well, she told me she had. Maybe she doesn't have any now. I don't know. Maybe for now yes. I really don't know."  
"If you want to test her-" Sirius started.  
"I don't want to test her!" Remus said laughing. That was totally Sirius with his strategies.  
"If you want to test her" he repeated as if Remus hadn't say anything "treat her just as a friend, normal friend, the next time she comes here and see how she reacts."  
"And what will I learn with this experimentation?"  
"If she treats you the same way, maybe she only considers you as a friend. But if she seems surprised and seems a bit distant it's because she's hurt which is good-"  
"How can it be good?" Remus asked surprised  
"Awwww Moony's in love" Sirius said mocking him "If she's hurt it means she likes more than just in a friendly way!"  
"And what's the other possibility?"  
"If she tries to be closer than friends well it totally means that she has feelings for you too."  
"Or that she doesn't see the difference!"  
"Well, If she acts in a more than friendly way it can only mean she has feelings for you. Why would she do that? I mean, Bill will come at the next meeting. He can be concurrence mate."  
"That's so twisted" Remus said not even surprised that this idea came from his best friend's brain.  
"I know, right?" Sirius said proudly.  
"Sometimes I wonder if that's what 12 years in Azkaban did to you or if you're naturally like this. And I'm not sure what option scares me the most." Remus said fighting back his laugh.  
Sirius laughed and couldn't stop before quite a moment. Remus had joined him too, laughing like two kids.  
Sirius poured them another firewiskey after they calmed down.  
"But anyway, we should invite Tonks to come here Saturday night; she'll need some time to relax. I think it'd be good for us to cheer her up, don't you think?"  
"Do you realize, Moony-" Sirius started but Remus couldn't help making a comment.  
"Go, on tell me" Remus shook his head wondering what he would hear from his friend.  
"At first, you're the one who need to be cheered up, like at the last meeting, but you always end up caring more about the others than about yourself."  
"Well, that's normal."  
"No it's not. And I think the fact that you're in love with her makes it worse."  
"Shut up Sirius. I shouldn't have told you anything."  
"She loves you back, what's the problem?"  
"You know, don't make me repeat it again."  
"But it's not a problem if she loves you back."  
"I don't know. I need to think about it."  
"Don't think too much, you might lose her."  
"Well, in that case, it'll make things easier."  
"You'd let her go like that?"  
"I only think about what's best for her."  
"And for you?"  
"I've lived like that for long enough. I can still do it."  
"Lupin, for one of the smartest man I know, you can be very stupid."  
"Shut up" Remus said laughing. "I know what I'm doing."  
"That's exactly what scares me!" Sirius said after he burst out a laugh.

The next meeting was the next week. Umbridge was getting crazier and that was worrying all of them. Remus knew exactly what it meant if she was getting more and more important at the ministry: It was the end of his rights but he would try not to think too much about this opportunity.  
Everyone arrived for the meeting, since Tonks's days were longer than before she couldn't come early like she always did. Arthur and Molly came proudly with Bill. Mad-Eye, Kingsley and Tonks arrived one after another. And finally, Dumbledore and Snape arrived, which made Sirius in his grumpy mood.  
When Remus caught a glimpse of Tonks, he wondered if he would do Sirius's strategy or not. What did he have to lose? Well, actually, her. But he only had to act like friend; not outbid on her affection signs.  
As she entered the kitchen she was already monopolized by Molly who greeted her joyfully.

"Tonks, my dear!"  
"Wotcher Molly!" Tonks said happily  
Bill's with us today!" She said smiling at both of them. Yes, Bill was definitely concurrence. What was he talking about, Tonks wasn't his property she had the right to see any man she wanted.  
"Oh Bill! It's been a moment! How are you?"  
"Fine! Gringotts's still the same. How are you?" He answered smiling politely.  
"You know, always the same." She said smiling. "You'll excuse me, I'll go say hi to Sirius" She said politely walking away.  
Sirius who was standing just next to Remus poked his elbow.  
"It's not me she's coming to see." He whispered smiling too much in Remus's taste.  
"Can you just be a bit more discreet?!" Remus whispered even if he wanted to shout.  
"Wotcher guys!" She said, or shouted would be more accurate. She quickly hugged Sirius and stand in front of Remus. He didn't move; he had to fight not to hug her as tight as he could. She put her arms around his neck, tiptoeing as he was much taller than her. He put his hands on her back, patting gently.  
"Hello Tonks"  
"How are you doing?" she asked both of them.  
"Could have been better. I don't like it when that Snievellus is in my house." Tonks laughed at his answer and looked at Remus smiling, like she was waiting an answer.  
"Oh. Uh. You know, I'm doing fine. How are _you _doing?" Remus asked failing at masking the concern in his voice and Sirius shot him a repressive look which Remus totally ignored.  
"You know; I'll get used to it." She said trying to smile to hide her true feelings.  
"By the way Sirius had the idea" Remus started and Sirius looked at him, eyebrows risen and he couldn't look more surprised. He would ruin everything. "He had the idea of you coming Saturday night if you can. You know, the three of us, fire whiskey. I mean, if you want."  
"I'd love too! That's great guys!" She answered smiling looking from one to another.  
"Totally my idea" Sirius said nodding.  
"Yes, completely." Remus said as he nodded too.  
"Thank you Sirius" she said as she patted his shoulder laughing.  
"I think we can all start" Dumbledore ordered very politely.  
They all sat at the big table, Remus noticed how Bill sat next to Tonks. Sirius and Remus were next to each other and it was like they were back at Hogwarts. They were not exactly concentrated, especially at the beginning.  
"Have you noticed that she sat next to him?" Sirius whispered.  
"Thank you but yes I had noticed." Remus whispered but more angrily as this wasn't pleasing him at all.  
"Doesn't mean anything." Sirius added.  
"It means I'm right."  
"About what?"  
"About me being wrong for her. I don't know how I even thought it could have worked. How could I thought that I could have a woman like her?"  
"She's so into you. Don't tell me you can't even see that?"  
"I'm sorry I can't. Now that I told you you're seeing things I tell you, you're getting mad, my friend." Remus answered still whispering like they used to do in class.  
"I'm not. Even Molly asked me if there was something between you two."  
"What?" Remus asked surprised.  
"Yes."  
"What did you say?"  
"I said if there were something you two, you'd be the last to know so I wouldn't know it by you."  
"Oh what an answer" Remus laughed.  
"Because you really think you told me something knew when you told me what was going on between the two of you?" Sirius said trying hard not to laugh.  
"Oh please tell me: when have you noticed anything?"  
"The first day she came here."  
"I'm sorry but that's bullshit, Padfoot." Remus answered as he shook his head.  
"No it's not. There was a connection between the two of you. I think she was very much attracted to you, which made it easier to fall for the big wolf."  
"It's not true"  
"She was always looking at you in the kindest way possible, I caught her morphing back her blush when you were looking at her. She's into since a very long time, since the beginning, really. But you know what?" Could it be really true? Remus tried to remember all of this; it had been such a long time and not that much at the same time. 4 months, but so many things happened. They had been so close, because they had found each other very well, like she had told him once. But did she really like him since the beginning?  
"No but you're gonna tell me."  
"You had a crush on her since the very beginning too." Sirius said quite proudly. He must have had all of this in his mind since quite a moment. "You didn't get your eyes off of her; you were smiling whenever she tripped on something and ready to catch her if she'd fall. You were laughing with her, laughing like I never laughed since a very long time."

Remus didn't answer before a few minutes. He was looking down at the table and tried to remember some moments of the beginning. He remembered looking at her while she was singing as she was painting the walls. Her voice wasn't perfect, but he liked it. He liked how she was almost dancing at the same time. He remembered dinner with the order, when she was still new to everything. A memory came to him and he couldn't help but smile.  
They were eating at the big table; she had sat next to him because he and Sirius were the only ones she had really talked to at the table. He was turning to her to face her as he spoke. She was gazing at him, smiling, listening to every word he was saying. He was explaining to her how Neville Longbottom's boggart was Snape and how he had imagined him in his grandmother's clothes. She was laughing and had even leaned her head on his shoulder, trying not to laugh so much. Then he had been explaining most of his job and she had kept listening to him, asking questions sometimes. She was interesting in everything he was saying and when she was talking about her DADA's class, and her Auror's classes he had been listening to her with just as much interest.

"Moony? ... Remus? … Oh! Lupin!" Sirius whispered a bit louder.  
"Sorry" He said as he tried to act normal. He liked the memories he had with her and he would love to create new ones.  
"What? You were thinking about her, uh?" Sirius said fighting his smile.  
"Shut up" Remus whispered  
"I'm right." Sirius said proudly.  
"We should listen to the people speaking."

Sirius shook his head and looked at Kingsley who was speaking about the muggle Ministry.  
Remus tried to concentrate but for once he wasn't that much in the mood. Since they had had a meeting not very long ago, there wasn't that much to say so Remus tried to reassure himself thinking that it wasn't that bad not to be concentrated tonight.  
He glanced at Tonks and she was looking at him, she smiled when their eyes met. No matter how hard he would try; he would always love that woman. There was something about her that made every single moment better.  
The meeting ended, and Molly had prepared dinner for all of them. She seemed utterly proud of her son being here even if Remus could have sworn he heard her say that it was maybe a bit too dangerous for him.  
Some people got up and Remus took the chance to go relax a few minutes in the library of the house since he wanted to take another book. He glanced at Tonks and she was with Molly and Bill, talking and laughing sometimes. He walked up the stairs and as he was on the first floor he heard that familiar voice he loved so much.

"Hey stranger. Where're you going?" she asked looking up at him.  
"In the library." He answered and couldn't help but smile at the pink haired girl that was looking at him pursing her lips and moving them from a side to another a few times before walking up the stairs quickly to join him. She tripped on the last step and she caught his arm not to fall.  
"One day you'll break a bone." He said looking at her, an eyebrow raised.  
"Not if you're here to catch me." She said and stuck her tongue at him. "What are you doing in the library?"  
"Nothing. I just wanted to take a book and relax a bit."  
"Too many people for you?"  
"Yeah maybe. Some people go to the bathroom. I go to the library."  
"Do you want to be alone?" she asked in a surprised tone.  
"No. You can stay. I'm not staying long anyway."  
"Alright." She said smiling.

They walked to the library and he looked at the shelves, searching the book he wanted to take.  
She was leaning on the wall, looking at him. He had to force himself not to go see her and just put his arms around her. He would have to wait for her to come. At the end of the evening he would guess how she was feeling about him; and right now, he wondered if he really wanted to know the answer.

"You know, I was thinking about your first dinners with the Order" he said as he was still looking at the shelves.  
"Really?" she asked surprised, but he could bet she was smiling.  
"Yeah. You were so shy with everyone. Don't tell me you don't remember it wasn't that long ago."  
"I remember very well. I was always sitting next to you because you were always nice to me."  
Remus chuckled and he heard her doing the same.  
"Yes." He said smiling "I advised you on the chocolate cakes once" he said almost laughing.  
"Remus?" she asked, no longer laughing.  
"Yes?" he said as he had took a book to look at the last cover to check if it was the good one.  
"Why are you feeling nostalgic? I'm still there." He heard her walking closer to him.  
"I know" he said finally, turning to look at her. She was smiling kindly, and he realized that maybe she was waiting for a bigger answer. But how could he explain all of this. _You know your cousin told me that you like me since the beginning so I was thinking about all our memories together._ It definitively wasn't an option.  
"It's just, I don't know. I was thinking about it." Alright, he couldn't say anything else now.  
"I think about it too sometimes. I think about the times when we were cleaning the house too!" She said, and she bit her lip.  
"You were always singing and dancing, or complaining" He said laughing.  
"I didn't know it bothered you!" She said almost in chock but fighting her smile.  
"You know it didn't." he said, his eyebrows risen.  
"Remus" she started  
"Yes?" he said smiling.  
"You were right last time."  
"You know it happens a lot, so could you precise which time." He said smiling mischievously at her.  
"When you said I miss you when you're not here."  
Remus didn't know what he could answer but apparently she wasn't exactly waiting for an answer because she wasn't looking insistently at him. He put the book he had on the shelf next to him and just put both his hands around her face and leaned to kiss her forehead.  
"Remus! Tonks! Dinner's ready!" Molly shouted from the last step of the stairs.  
Tonks was the first to walk out of the room but she was waiting for him at the door. Remus was kind of lost for a few seconds, thinking about what she had just said. He shook his took a deep breath, glanced at the book on the shelf, took it and walked out of the room.  
"May I sit next to you again tonight?" she asked in a very polite voice.  
"Yes you may, Miss Tonks."  
"Don't call me 'Miss Tonks'" she said as she poked his elbow.  
"Alright, Nymphadora." He said smiling as he teased her.  
"Worse." She poked him harder.  
"Not true. I know you like it when I call you Nymphadora" he said as they were about to walk down the stairs. She put herself on his way and looked at him, her eyebrows rose.  
"You have no proof of that. It's not true. No one has the right to call me like that, not even you."  
"I didn't say I had _the right_ to call you Nymphadora, I just say you like it when I do." He said smiling.  
"You're nuts, Lupin. I don't know if I want to sit next to you actually" she said, teasing him at her turn. She was just walking down the first step and he put his arms around her neck by behind and he kissed her on the cheek.  
"I'm sorry, _Dora?_" I have to the right to call you Dora?"  
"Yes, but only you; and my dad actually."  
"Really?" he asked surprised. It was true that he had never noticed anyone calling her Dora in the Order. Not even Bill.  
"Yes."  
"I'm lucky." He said proudly, his arms still around her.  
"Maybe I'll sit next to you."  
"I'm very lucky."  
"I'm always sitting next to you, or most of the time."  
"I'm always lucky, or most of the time."  
"You miss me when I'm not here!" She said almost laughing.  
"You'll never know" he said as he moved back his arms and walked past her.  
"Remus Lupin! This is not fair."  
"We've never said we were playing fair, have we?" he said laughing. He felt her hands on her shoulders and he stopped walking. She climbed on his back, her legs holding him tight.  
"Tell me the truth or I don't move."  
"It's not a problem for me" he said laughing. He loved teasing her.  
"Come on Remus! I told you! It's not fair! You can say 'no' it's alright!" she was almost pleading but she was laughing.  
"Alright, alright." He said as he walked down the stairs with her on his back.  
He was in the hall, and he thought about what he should say. Well, he had told her his feelings many times, he could tell her that.  
"I miss you when you're not here." He said in a calm voice.  
"For real?" she asked surprised.  
"For real." And she kissed him on the cheek just as he had done. She got down and walked past him; a few meters from him she stopped and turned around.  
"You know, it doesn't count. I made you say it. Another time, Lupin." She said laughing and he chuckled. How could it not count; of course he meant it. But today, she was in a playful mood; and so was he actually.  
"You know… You're messing with my mind." He eventually answered.  
"Maybe, but you're messing with my heart." She answered smiling and walked away.  
He was messing with her heart? What did that mean? Did it mean she was tired of him? And had no more feelings for him? Why was she so complicated? Why the only women Remus every really loved was making things complicated? Or more accurately, why couldn't he understand love?

He followed her, trying not to smile too much because that would have been weird. When he entered the room, he saw Tonks, an empty seat to her left, Bill in front of her. And Arthur at the left of the empty seat, Sirius was sitting in front of Arthur, both seemed in a great conversation. Remus sat between Tonks and Arthur. She turned her face to look at him, and smiled kindly.  
During the dinner, Remus heard a conversation between Bill and Tonks. He was convincing himself that he wasn't exactly listening to their conversation that he was just hearing it as they were next to them but it got him interested.  
"So, how is it going with-" She asked him nicely.  
"Shhhhhh" Bill said leaning forward Tonks.  
"Sorry."  
"It's nothing. It's just my parents don't exactly know everything. It's going alright. I'm going to France soon. She came here once so now it's my turn."  
"This is going well!" Tonks answered.  
"Yeah. You know, I think I really like her."  
"That's great! She seemed a very nice girl."  
"She really is. And her French accent makes everything she says so beautiful."  
"Look at who's already in love here."  
"I'm not _in love_. I just really like her."  
"Yeah right. You have the right to love her you know."  
"But… what if she doesn't love me back?"  
"How wouldn't she love you back, Bill? Don't worry about that you know. If she lets you come see her it's because she likes you just as much as you like her, if not more." Tonks said in a reassuring joyful tone.  
"What about you?" Bill asked.  
"What? About…me?" She answered very hesitantly.  
"Well, is there any man in your life?" And that moment tried to concentrate on the glass in front of him; because he was feeling Tonks's foot against his leg, striking. He did not find a way to response except moving his leg a bit closer to her.  
"Plenty!" she said laughing and Remus tried hard not to smile about her joke. "You know, there's Mad-Eye, Kingsley, my dad.." she added laughing.  
"Stop joking Tonks, you're just avoiding the subject."  
"I'm not. You know, it's complicated with my job to have someone in my life."  
"Really?"  
"Yeah, really."  
"Remus!" Bill said looking at him.  
"Yes?" Remus tried to say as politely and innocently as he could?  
"Can you believe that Tonks has no man in her life?" Remus wondered if the situation could get even more awkward.  
"Well, I have to admit, it's hard to believe." He said very politely again. He naturally had this polite tone when he was surrounded by a lot of people. He was much more natural when he was with Sirius or with Tonks. Tonks chuckled at his answer.  
"I'm busy!" She said throwing her hands in the air like it wasn't her fault.  
"Yeah right. Maybe you already have someone in your mind but you don't want to say it." Bill said looking at Tonks.  
Remus turned his head to look directly at Tonks, she looked up at him and stared for quite a moment. She looked back at bill and answered.  
"I haven't anyone in my mind." Remus hoped she lied of course.

They finished their dinner all talking and people left one by one. They were all standing in the living room, except Remus and Sirius who had walked to the kitchen. Remus heard a conversation between Molly and Tonks as he walked in the kitchen.  
"You remember what we talked about? I thought I could give it to you tonight, if it's not a problem for you? You'll come with us?" Molly asked smiling kindly.  
"Yeah right. It's fine like this. I can take it back apparating?" Tonks answered  
"Yeah yeah! Don't worry it's really not heavy."  
"Alright. I'll say goodbye to Sirius, he's still in the kitchen."  
"Alright we're waiting for you in the hall."  
A few seconds later he saw Tonks walking in the kitchen.  
"Goodbye guys!" She said smiling, and looking as happy as she always do. She definitely was the sun of the day.  
"You're leaving early tonight." Sirius said a bit surprised, and no doubt, a lot disappointed.  
"Yeah. Molly gotta give me a little shelf for my apartment. So she asked me to come this evening."  
"Alright. We'll see you soon?"  
"Saturday?" Tonks said, her smile grew even bigger.  
"Yes of course!" Sirius answered as he quickly hugged his little cousin.  
She walked towards Remus, looking more tenderly at him. She threw her arms around his neck and hugged him.  
"Goodbye Remus." She said in her ear.

He patted her back softly and said very quietly almost the same words in her ear: "Goodbye Nymphadora." And he couldn't help but smile as he said the words.  
She moved back her arms, looked at him a few seconds like she was upset- her smile betraying her- and shook her head.

She walked out of the room but Remus didn't hear the front door opening. Instead he heard Tonks voice.  
"Shit! I forgot my scarf!"  
"Alright, go get your scarf Tonks." Molly said and sighed just a few seconds after.  
Sirius walked back in the living room, a glass of firewhiskey in his hand. Tonks walked back in the room, looking everywhere and Remus couldn't help but smile. Her head was moving every second, looking everywhere and she was turning on her feet.  
"Oh no, don't help me Remus." She said sarcastically.  
"No, this is too funny to watch." He answered smiling, still gazing at her. She looked up at him and and looked at his hand.  
"Oh, there." She said and walked towards Remus, in fact her scarf was on the counter, just next to him. She put her scarf around her neck, looking down at her hands trying to tie it. Remus, without thinking a second as always when he was around her, helped her. As he put his hands on her scarf he could see that she was looking at him. He took the tips of the scarf, tied it and put it well in her jacket. When he had finished she put her hands on his, smiling kindly at him.  
"Do I deserve a goodnight kiss?" she whispered. Remus didn't answer but he only moved his hands to her face, placing both his hands in her hair, striking her jaws with his thumbs. She closed her eyes and he leaned towards her and placed a very tender kiss on her forehead. He let his forehead on the top of her head and whispered "Goodnight Dora."  
He moved and she opened her eyes again, she smiled at him.  
"You're still messing with my mind." He said smiling.  
"And you're still messing with my heart." She answered and stuck her tongue at him.  
"Tonks!" Molly shouted.  
"I found it! It had fallen under the table! Sorry" She shouted and she left the room.

* * *

_Hey everyone! I'm sorry I'm late! I was a bit busy. By the way, I wanted to tell you that it is very much possible that I'll be a bit late, like this week, because I have a lot of papers to do lately. I'm pretty sure you all understand because a lot of you must be in school too but I just wanted to inform you, just in case. I'll try as much as I can to always update in time. :)_  
_I hope you like where Remus and Tonks are heading. Really, don't hesitate to give me advice, or anything you'd like to see in this story. Really, I'd love to know what you all think. :) _  
_Have a very good week. :)_


	20. I love to make you smile

**_Disclaimer : I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters. _**

* * *

_"A girl doesn't need anyone who doesn't need her." _Marilyn Monroe

* * *

_"Remus,  
Moody gave me a mission and told me I could ask someone to come with me. Do you want to do it with me? It's a very boring one.  
Tonks."_

"Dear Dora,  
I would love to do it with you.  
Where and when do we meet?  
Remus."

_"Remus,  
HQ, at 2pm I think. It could last all day long. And we'll do that little party when we come back. What do you think?  
love,  
Dora._

_"Dear Dora,  
Exactly. We'll spend the night with Padfoot.  
See you tomorrow at 2pm.  
love,  
Remus."_

As Tonks asked him, Remus came at 2pm at Grimmauld Place. He came a little in advance, greeting his friend.  
"So, what's the mission?" Sirius asked  
"I don't know yet. She wrote it was a boring one, so I think we'll have to spy on someone."  
"Alright. And she asked _you_?" Sirius said, his smile growing bigger and bigger.  
"Yes Padfoot, she asked me. Sometimes I wonder if I did right when I told you!"  
"Of course you did my friend!" Sirius said laughing as he patted his friend on the shoulder.  
"But you're gonna spend the afternoon and the night together. Isn't it great?"  
"Shut up Sirius!" Remus said laughing.  
"At what time is she coming?"  
"2pm."  
"When will you come back?"  
"I don't know _mummy_"  
"Shut up! It's just, in case do you I have the right to start without you?"  
"Nope."  
"What if I do?"  
"We won't stay." Remus said, smiling. Making fun of Sirius was one of his favourite hobbies.  
"Arse"  
They heard the door open and close. Sirius raised his eyebrows at Remus.  
"Seriously Tonks, I'm really proud of you. It's been a long time since you hadn't tripped on the umbrella stand!"  
"See? I'm not that clumsy" She said laughing as she entered the kitchen. She quickly hugged Sirius and as she walked to hug Remus she tripped on the table and hurt herself on the corner of it.  
"Shit" she whispered to herself. Remus and Sirius both laughed. She hit Remus before hugging him, always a bit longer than she hugged Sirius. "Don't make fun of me, you!"  
"I wouldn't dare." Remus said calmly.  
"So, I have a great Polyjuice potion for you!"  
"Oh no."  
"Oh yes. I took someone not too bad for you!"  
"And I thought you may have had a bit of my sense of humour in your blood…" Sirius said trying to look over disappointed.  
"Oh my dear cousin" she said forcing a hug. Sirius wasn't exactly the hug type and Tonks loved making fun of him. Actually they really had that in common.  
"How do I change myself, now?" Tonks asked but Remus was taking his all his courage to drink his potion.  
"I know!"  
"No, not the old lady. I don't want to play Remus's grandmother."  
"Oh come on."  
"No."  
"Alright. Well, I don't know you should ask our big wolf what's his type?"  
"What's your type, Remus?"  
"I don't know." Remus answered and walked in the living room, searching for a mirror. He was still a tall man, quite the same shape as his. He had shorter hair, darker brown. Brown eyes and no scars of course.  
He came back in the kitchen.  
"Well, not too bad." He said, looking at his own hands.  
"I told you I made an effort."  
"Thank you."  
"So how do I change?"  
"Well, as you want."  
"Come on, Remus!"  
"I don't when you picture the perfect woman, how is she?" Tonks said looking at him. Remus couldn't feel more awkward. He never really had a type; he only got interested in a girl with his instinct. Like for Tonks, she had interested him in the very beginning even though at the time he didn't know he would fall in love with her.  
"I have no idea. Let's ask Sirius, he's more of an expert on the subject that I am."  
"Go on Sirius, tell me how should I change."  
"Well, I don't, which colour haven't you tried?"  
"I could be a Weasley! I could have red hair!"  
"Alright: red hair. Longer than your short hair."  
"Alright, alright." And so she grew her hair longer and red.  
"Change your eyes color you still look like yourself."  
"Can I do Remus's color?  
"Yes you can" Sirius said laughing. And she turned her eyes in a color that wasn't exactly his. It was much more beautiful, grey eyes with shades of blue.  
"That's not what my eyes look like." Remus said surprised, gazing at her eyes.  
"Yes, it's exactly the same color." She said proudly. Remus shook his head and was sure she had done them much more beautiful.  
"Change something else, you still look like you." Sirius said and she changed her nose, it was thinner and shorter. Her eyes were bigger but she didn't change her mouth at all.  
"Alright. We're ready to go?" She asked smiling at Remus.  
"I think we are." Remus said smiling.  
"I'll go write to Harry. See you later." Sirius said before leaving. They headed to the door and left.

The mission was indeed very boring. They were looking outside a shop very much frequented by Lucius Malfoy and his friends. They were first hiding on the roof as they had done on their first mission but it started raining and so they ran together in the street to find somewhere to go. Since they didn't know where to go they stopped in a little street, Remus put off his jacket and put above b oth their heads.  
"Where do we go?" he asked  
"I dunno." She said looking around. "maybe from that shop we could still see them. What do you think?"  
"Alright. Let's go there!" And they ran to the shop. As they entered they realized it was a book store and Remus found it hard to concentrate on the store they had to watch.  
Tonks stayed in the front store shelves, glancing at store from time to time. Whereas Remus, even if he tried to stay concentrated and to keep watching the store found himself looking at other shelves.  
He was reading the last cover of a book when he heard that calm sweet voice he loved so much.  
"Interesting?"  
"Oh. Yeah. Seems a good one." He answered and she grinned at him looking kindly.  
"We can't see anything. It's raining too much."  
"Oh. Sorry I kind of left you there."  
"Don't worry."  
"Oh I love this one!" She said trying to take a book in her hand but she almost made it fall. Remus caught it quickly.  
"Here" he said handing it to her.  
"Thanks. You're not tired of catching things I make fall or me?"  
"Never."  
"You're a nice guy, uh?"  
"No. I'm not specially a nice guy. Maybe if it was someone else it would annoy me but it's _you_."  
"You're nice." She affirmed smiling and he kissed the top of her head. They kept looking at the book, advising each other to look at some and sometimes looking the same one together.  
"It has stopped raining." She said after quite a moment.  
"Stay here if you want, I'll go."  
"You sure?" she asked insisting.  
"Yes." He said smiling. Remus walked to the front of the bookstore pretending to be looking at the shelves. But very quickly Tonks came back to him.  
"We could go outside." She said very quietly. They left the store and walked in the streets. There was a bank in a little park near the store and so they sat there, watching it.  
"Why do we have to do that again?" Remus asked thinking that if they talked maybe it would be less boring.  
"Apparently Malfoy has gone a lot there lately, they have been other former Death Eaters too. They think they're planning something."  
"Maybe we came on the wrong day." Remus joked.  
"Don't you like being with me, Remus?" she asked pretending to be hurt. He put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer to him.  
"Of course I like being with you."  
"I hope so!"  
They spoke a bit before they were watching but nothing really happened. It was late afternoon and they decided to have a last walk in the streets before leaving when a weird, small, old man came closer to Tonks while Remus was looking at the front of a store.  
"Hey girl! Wanna let me show you something, uh?" He said surely drunk as hell.  
"Shut up" She answered firmly.  
"Oh don't do your little prudish girl. I know you're not."  
"Leave her alone. Right now." Remus said angry but frightfully calm.  
"Relax man. I didn't know she wasn't alone."  
"Not a reason. Leave, now." Holding his wand ready to attack the man.  
"Okay man! Don't get upset!" The man walked away and Tonks turned to face Remus.  
"I can defend myself you know!"  
"I know it's just-"  
"You think I'm just a little girl who can't defend herself!"  
"No Tonks-"  
"Let's go back. Your potion is losing its effect."

"Wait!" He said quickly but she had put her hand on him and they were in the front door of Grimmauld Place. She was about to open the door but Remus forced her to face him and and pushed her on the door. She was herself again, her shiny brown eyes and her bright pink hair.  
"Dora, I'm sorry. I'm sorry because I'm not sorry for what I did." His eyes weren't leaving hers. "I'm not saying that you can't defend yourself. I know you can. I know you're a very talented and strong Auror and woman. I believe in you and your strength. But I can't stand a man treating you like you're a piece of meat. So if I had to do it again, I'll do it."

She didn't answer but opened the door and entered in the hall. They put off their jackets and just after she had put off her scarf she let herself lean on him. She hadn't put her arms around him; she was just leaning on him, her head on his chest, not saying a word.  
Remus couldn't help but smile and he put his arms around her shoulders, holding her tight against him. He put a hand in her hair and she looked up at him. She didn't say anything but he let his head rest on the top of hers.  
He released her and she started walking. Remus couldn't believe she still hadn't say a word and he wouldn't let her go.

"Merlin Dora! You're so stubborn!" He said putting his arms around her neck and, looked at her profile smiling. She turned slightly to look at him, smiling but not saying a word.  
"I just very feel protective about you. I know you can protect yourself but I can't help myself."  
"Remus" she said, fighting her smile.  
"Oh she speaks!" He said laughing and kissed her on the cheek.  
"Remus, I'll let you protect me if you let me kick some arse."  
"That's the girl I... I know!" He said laughing, trying to hide how awkward he felt because he really was about to say _the girl I love_. She pointed her cheek with her finger and he kissed her on the cheek again, she laughed and as soon as he released her she started walking. She had made a few steps away and he caught her hand, forced her to come back to him.  
"Hey I think I deserve one too."  
"You really think so?" She asked rising an eyebrow.  
"No, I don't _think_ so. I do deserve one." He said smiling proudly. She smiled before jumping on him, wrapping her legs around his waist. He held her tight against him and she kissed him on the cheek. She moved to look at him, and stroke his hair gently.  
"I'm not sure you really deserved one though." He said smiling kindly  
"Really?" he asked trying to look surprised. "Say it again maybe?" he said playfully.  
"What?" she said laughing "I don't think you deserved one." She said and looked at him biting her lips.  
He pushed her against the wall, and her legs just tighten their hold on him.  
"What are you gonna do now?" She said smiling.  
"I don't know, anything to make you say the contrary." He said smiling and her back was against the wall he could move his hands and tickle her. She started laughing and tried to say "no".  
"What?" he said after he had stopped.  
"Please stop." She said trying to catch her breath.  
"You know what you have to say."  
"I'm not saying anything." She said smiling.  
"Alright" and he tickled her again, she laughed for a moment, trying to fight but as she was laughing too much she had lost her strength. She wasn't giving up so Remus stopped by himself.  
She was breathing heavily because she had laughed too much and he kissed her on the cheek.  
"I think it's me who deserved much more now!"  
"Oh, my poor Dora" he said but he didn't let go of her, he took her closer to him and she hugged him. He was hugging her very tightly and he could feel her body pressed against his chest; he had his nose in her hair and could scent something like strawberry mixed with flowers like orchids or peonies, maybe both. He let one of his arms slid to her back and striking her gently.  
After a moment she released her hold on him and put her feet back on the floor.  
"Let's go see Sirius" She said smiling.  
"Right"

They walked to the living room and found Sirius asleep on the sofa. Remus went in the kitchen to take a pan and a ladle, Tonks looked at him smiling she whispered "1,2,3" before shouting "WOTCHER SIRIUS !" as loud as she could and Remus was beating the ladle on the pan at the same time.  
Sirius jumped off the sofa and shouted "WHAAT THE HELL?" But Remus and Tonks stopped and laughed together.  
They then spent the evening, talking and drinking. They were all a bit tipsy and actually Sirius was quite well drunk. They were laughing for nothing and they had weird conversations and even one about Snape's hair. Tonks said that he could do an advert for shampoo.  
Tonks was laughing a lot and Remus was glad she could relax because he knew she had rough days at work, the ministry being more and more suspicious. He was glad he could be there for her and she always was there for him.

They stayed awake until 3 or 4 in the morning but Sirius fell asleep the first in the chair. They were both in the couch, the alcohol effect had lost of his intensity and they were more tired than drunk. Tonks was sitting at the other hand of the sofa and she put her feet on Remus's lap. He looked up at her smiling, raising his eyebrows.  
"Do you mind?"  
"Does it matter? You're asking after you actually put them there."  
"Oh sorry!" She said about to move her feet.  
"Don't be silly" he said putting his hand on her feet.  
"Come closer" she said smiling at him and actually almost gazing but that must have been because of the alcohol.  
"Magic word?" Remus said smiling.  
"Come closer, _please_." She said pretending to be annoyed but that was amusing her.  
"Alright." He said and he moved closer so her knees were on his lap.  
She came closer too, able to put her head on his shoulder. She put one of her hand on his chest, striking gently. The little alcohol effect was making them more obvious than usual.  
"Come here" he said as he opened his arms to her, she put herself more comfortably, cuddling up to him. She had rested her head on his chest, and Remus let his on the top of her head. With his other free arm he stroke her thigh softly. Remus realized that her hair changed colour. It wasn't that bright pink hair it was a beautiful red, not angry red. It had shades of dark pink. It was like a raspberry red.  
He kissed the top of her head and closed his eyes. It hadn't take him long before falling asleep.

When he woke up she was still in his arms, they hadn't move that much. It must have been in the late morning.

"oh my- It's been such a long time I hadn't got such a headache" Sirius said staring at his glass in the kitchen. "How is it possible that you're feeling much better than me?"  
"First. I hold alcohol very well." Tonks said smiling "and you drank way more than us."  
"Unfair." Sirius said still staring at his glass.  
"I think I'll go in my room. Sleep. Yeah. Sleep." He got up and walked to the stairs.  
Remus was leaning on the counter, a mug of coffee in the hand.  
Tonks walked towards Remus, or towards the cupboard to take a glass actually. But she was just next to him, facing the window, pouring her glass with water. She glanced at him quickly and she was smiling; that mischievous smile of her.  
Remus moved a bit, about to go sit at the table but as he just made a step he felt something on his wrist. Tonks's hand. She wasn't even looking at him, she was still looking outside but she was holding his wrist, not saying a word. She didn't even need to say a word at that moment.  
Remus got closer to her and she released his wrist but only to let her hand slid on his hand until her fingers found their places between his, holding tight; he leant a bit closer again to kiss her hair taking all his time. He closed his eyes, trying to get every detail of the situation, the feeling of her fingers between his, her scent, feeling her leaning on him.  
"I think I'm going to sleep in the sofa" she said  
"Alright. But you can take a room if you prefer."  
"No, I'm not even sure I will really sleep I'm just too tired to stay on me feet." And she walked in the living room. Remus didn't want to stay alone in the kitchen and followed her, keeping his cup of coffee. He looked at her throw herself on the sofa and Remus couldn't help but laugh when he saw this as he walked to sit in the chair.  
"Come here" she said, putting her head in her hands holding herself on her elbows. Remus just nodded and moved from the chair to the sofa and she rested her head on his lap.  
He kept caressing her face, tracing lines, or just striking her hair. Sometimes she was actually asleep but sometimes she would take his hand in hers.

* * *

Hey everyone! I'm sorry it's not one of the best chapters I've written. I'll promise I'll do better next time! And I'm sorry for updating a bit later than usual.  
By the way, an amazing author (TheWarriorQueen She's really good!(;) gave me an idea - because I reviewed one of her stories and she offer to every person who reviews a one-shot story. So it's so great that I thought I'd do the same but not for every review though. **You only have to ask me if you want a one shot story, give me your idea and I'll write it** :) It can be about Remus/Tonks or another couple! So don't hesitate if you have an idea :)  
Have a good day!


	21. About Time

**Disclaimer : I do not own Harry Potter or any characters.**

* * *

_"When I call someone perfect, it doesn't mean I think they have no flaws, it doesn't mean I think they're the most attractive person on the planet, it doesn't mean I think they've never made any mistakes. when I call someone perfect, it means I love them wholly and entirely despite anything and everything, and that, to me, is perfect." _Someone very smart from tumblr.

*(apparently it is littlecolleenthings tumblr com but we're never sure maybe someone changed the source or anything but just saying it's not me.)

* * *

Remus was heading for the Burrow, he had apparated at the front door and knocked. Molly Weasley opened the door, she looked surprised at him but smiled kindly as always.  
"Remus, dear, what are you doing here? Come! Come in!" she said opening the door wider.  
"Hello Molly. How are you doing?"  
"Very fine! I have a little time for myself in the afternoon since the kids all at school and Arthur is at work. I was preparing his favorite meal."  
"He's a lucky man."  
"Oh don't tell him I said that but I'm the lucky one."  
"Let's say you both found each other very well."  
"Exactly!" she said very happily. Arthur and Molly were the kind of couples that Remus admired; they had been married since a very long time but they were still so in love with each other.  
"So what are you doing here?" She asked, leading him in the kitchen. She put a little plate of cakes in front of him, pushing the plate closer to him showing him he could take one. He politely took one and smiled.  
"Well, I thought you were the best person to understand. Tonks's birthday is the 24th of October, I thought it would be nice to do a little something since she's new. It would be a good chance to show her she's really part of it. What do you think?"  
"That is very kind of you." Molly said very quietly, looking at him almost surprised but in a very kind and good way.  
"Well, you know. She's very nice and I thought it'd be a nice surprise."  
"You hang on very well with her, don't you?"  
"Well. Yes. With Sirius, we spend a lot of time together. She's very nice and smart. And very funny too, and a bit clumsy like you might have noticed."  
"Yes I had some chances to." She said smiling.  
"Well, we can all meet for a meeting on the 24th, that's right?"  
"Yes."  
"I'll talk to Arthur, saying we should do a meeting, we'll do a very quick one and we'll act like we don't know. And at the end, we'll wish her a happy birthday. What do you think?"  
"Great, Molly. She'll love it."  
"I'll bake more cakes. Which ones does she like?"  
"Chocolate ones with strawberries or raspberries. I think."  
"You know her quite well."  
"Hum, not so much it's just… I realized she usually take those ones."  
"Well, I'll prepare everything."

* * *

The 24th.

Everyone was sitting around the table, Tonks had been told on last minute and had come running late at the meeting. She quickly sat and they all listened to the meeting. It was really brief and Remus was glad she'd have a little surprise.  
"Before we end," Kingsley said "we should all wish a happy birthday to our special friend : Tonks. Happy Birthday!" He said looking smiling. Molly made levitate her cakes that were in the kitchen on the table. There was a big one, with chocolate and strawberries and raspberries in the middle, and whipped cream on top of it.  
"Thank you everyone!" Tonks said smiling brightly and walked directly to Molly.  
"Thank you Molly! All of this seems so yummy! I can't believe you've done all of this for me!"  
"Oh my dear, don't thank me. Thank Remus, he's the one who told me it was your birthday and wanted to do something."  
"Really?"  
"Yes. I wish he had told me sooner I would have done more." She said as she handed a little red package to Tonks. The bright pink haired girl opened it and discovered a light purplish pink scarf.  
"Oh it's great Molly! Thank you." Tonks said hugging Molly quickly. Then she made her way through all the people who wished her a happy birthday and eventually found Remus.  
"Having a good time?" he said smiling kindly and before he could add anything she had put her arms around his neck and was hugging him very tightly.  
"Thank you Remus. For everything."  
"You're welcome." He answered quietly "Happy Birthday Dora"  
The broke apart but she stood looking at him in the kindest way.  
"I have something for you"  
"oh my! You didn't have to get me something. You're crazy Remus!"  
"Here" he said giving her a pink package.  
"Great color"  
"I know." He said smiling. She opened it and it was a huge book, hard back cover made of pink and gold. _The best Wizards Stories_ in big and just under_ and Muggles Fairy Tales _written smaller on it.  
"Remus." She said quietly, looking at the book and then she opened it looking inside and she eventually looked back up at him. "It's perfect. Thank you! Thank you so much!" and she put her free arm around him again.  
"Thank you!" she whispered in his ear.  
"You like it?"  
"Of course I do!"  
"Thank you again! Thank you so much!"  
"It's not much." He said in her ear. She stepped back to look at him.  
"No! I love it." She said hugging him again and Remus had never felt so happy about giving a gift to someone.

* * *

_A few days later._

Remus walked in the kitchen and saw Sirius reading the newspaper, or not really reading, more looking at it.  
"I can't believe they did it" Sirius said calmly. Too calmly for the situation.  
"They were helped. Now we know they're on his side" Remus said. He knew what he was talking about; he had read the Daily Prophet too. A band of old death eaters were now out of Azkaban.  
"Do you know what that mean Remus?"  
Remus didn't want to answer; he knew only too well.  
"The war had started. Again" Sirius continued. "My cousin; my fucking mad cousin; out!"  
"Your cousin" Remus repeated.  
"Yes Bellatrix Lestrange; I'm sorry to say it but yes she is my cousin"  
"So she's Tonks-"  
"aunt, yes"  
"We should protect her" Remus was starting to speak louder and Sirius didn't seem to dare say anything "I need to talk to Dumbledore! I need to owl him right now."  
"Remus"  
"No. Right now. He'll come when he can but I don't want to wait a second"  
Remus ran upstairs, eventually found an owl that was used by Sirius for Harry. He quickly took a piece of parchment and wrote "_I need to talk to you very soon. This is important. You must know what I am talking about. Come as soon as you can at the place. Moony" _He ran downstairs; he couldn't sit. He was busy walking back and forth in the kitchen. Bellatrix Lestrange would just love to kill or torture Tonks and he knew that; he knew how mad she was and how precious her blood was. Tonks was, for her the result of treason. Tonks was in danger; every day even more now. He remembered some victims of Bellatrix; most of them were dead, some had gone mad like the Longbottoms.  
"Remus" Sirius said trying to be very calm.  
"Yes?!" Remus shouted.  
"She is not in danger. She is an Auror; she can protect herself and Mad-Eye's with her; and Kingsley too."  
"You, Sirius, know more than anyone how crazy she is. We don't know if she's not even more mad now that she's spent so many years in Azkaban."  
"Remus, calm down. We'll talk about it with Dumbledore when he'll come."  
Dumbledore arrived 30 minutes later; he was peaceful just as usual.  
"You don't owl me often Remus, I assume this is serious matter" Dumbledore said with this little smile he always has.  
"It is. You've seen it; The death eaters are out"  
"I have seen, indeed."  
Remus was about to speak but Sirius started before he could. Maybe he was sure he's friend was about to explode.  
"Bellatrix Lestrange, my cousin, Tonks's aunt." Sirius started  
"I know" Dumbledore said.  
"We should protect her!" Remus said.  
"I believe Nymphadora is a very good Auror and there are Alastor and Kingsley with her. I will tell them to be even more alert."  
"We should do more!" Remus shouted even louder "Don't tell me I have to remind you what she did to the Longbottoms because their son is in your school."  
"I know very well what she did Remus. I understand your concern and I will try-"  
"We can't 'try'! We can't let anything happen to her! Can you even imagine what would happen if Bellatrix had Tonks in her hands. She wouldn't just kill her and we all know that here!"  
"Remus"- Sirius tried to reason his friend but in vain.  
"No! Bellatrix is completely out of her mind. We need to put more protections around Tonks" Remus kept shouting.  
"I believe, Remus, that you are letting your feelings taking over your judgement."  
"My feelings?" Remus said more calmly "You know what? maybe you're right. Yeah! Tonks is the person I care the most about on this earth and I can't let anything happen to her and I won't let anything happen to her. If I have to protect her myself I will! We are not having a new James and Lily." He finished shouting.  
"I understand very clearly Remus"  
"If you understand; why can't you just put more protection around her?" Remus seemed almost begging.  
"This is not that easy"  
"I CAN HELP! I am ready to do anything Dumbledore you know I've always been."  
"I know that" Dumbledore confirmed.  
"Remus, maybe you know; Bellatrix won't try anything. Everyone is looking after them;"  
"Are you kidding me? I am just asking PROTECTION! I didn't ask the muggle army! I just want the Order to do its best to protect Tonks! I can't believe none of you understand me!"  
"We do" Sirius said answered and Dumbledore just kept looking at him.  
"Well it doesn't seem like it!" Remus kept shouting. He couldn't stay calm; he just couldn't.  
"Dumbledore; just please tell me you won't just try; you'll do your best to protect her!" Remus tried to speak more calmly.  
"Remus, I promise you I will do my best for it."  
"Can you keep me in touch about"-  
"Remus" Tonks's voice cut him. He turned and he saw her at the door. He face expressionless. "Can I talk to you _right now_?" he said very firmly. Too firmly to be good Remus thought.  
"I think I am leaving you for today. Have a good day, Sirius, Nymphadora, Remus."  
"Sorry, Professor Dumbledore." Tonks forced a polite smile and Sirius walked with Dumbledore to the corridor.

Tonks walked towards Remus took his arm and headed him to the living room.  
"What is wrong with you Remus?" she asked almost shouting but in kind of calm way which was way more terrifying.  
"How long have you been here?" he asked back.  
"Long enough! Remus, don't you think I can't handle myself?"  
"She is dangerous! Don't tell me you don't know that!"  
"I know she is! But who are you to plan things like that without even talking to me first? I don't need protection Remus!"  
"You do!"  
"I am an Auror in case you've forgotten!"  
"I know you are and holy shit you know I never doubted your abilities but she is completely mad"  
"I know she is! But you don't have to freak out this way!" she shouted.  
"Aren't you afraid?" he asked surprised and not shouting anymore. She took a long breath before answering.  
"Of course I am" she said very quietly "but it's not only me! What about my parents? And Sirius?"  
"We can protect you parents too! And Sirius is safe as long as he's here" Remus said calmly.  
"I know, but… Remus." She paused "Dangerous is part of my job; no one can protect 24/7 and you _know_ that."  
"There is no way I'm doing nothing! I can't let anything happen to you! I don't care that you don't want that protection"  
"Remus you can't choose for me!" she shouted.  
"I'm not telling you to stop working;" She started walking towards the window, looking through like she was thinking about what to say. "I know what your job is! I'm just saying that maybe I don't know we can ask Mad-Eye to never leave you alone. We can't trust anyone but people in the Order! We can-"  
"Remus stop it!" she shouted  
"No I'm not! How can you refuse this? It won't bother but it will keep you _alive_!"  
"You – are - overreacting Remus!" she shouted  
"I'm not! I am reacting normally! This is too dangerous!" _She's crazy. You could get killed or worse like the Longbottom. _He had all his arguments ready in his head but she cut him.  
"Remus!"- she started shouting but he walked towards her and he pressed his lips against hers with so much strength she was pushed against the wall; his hands holding her face. She had lost her breath for a few seconds after his lips touched hers. She was clinging to his jacket very tightly like she would fall if she wasn't. They were kissing more passionately than during their mission together; it was like all their anger was in this kiss. She was kissing him back with even more passion than him. Remus couldn't say how long this kiss lasted, not long enough of course but he had completely lost the track of time.  
When they eventually broke apart they were breathing heavily but they didn't move an inches from each other. They looked at each other and both laughed without really knowing why.

"You took your time, Lupin" she said playfully. Remus chuckled at this remark because she had gone from shouting at him at joking now.  
"I love you _so much_" he whispered.  
"You need to think I'm going to die to finally realize it."  
"No, and you know it." He said kissing her forehead; she closed her eyes at his touch, then he kissed her eyebrow, her cheek and eventually pressed his lips against hers again. This kiss was different, there was less strength, and maybe it was less passionate too but it was much more soft and tender.  
"I love you. I've loved you since- since so long- since the beginning really. And you knew it, I know you did." he said  
"I love you too Remus"  
"But no one can know" as she heard his words she chuckled "I'm sorry but that would be just too much." He continued  
"I know. I already knew before you said it. I know you quite well Remus" she said smiling.  
"I know you do." He paced his hand in her hair, moving the hair that was on her forehead and kissed her one last time. He loved feeling her lips on his; it made something inside him burn. He could feel every bones, every muscles burning inside of him. If he hadn't been so happy he would have even worried.  
"You can't stop kissing me now, uh?" she said smiling and looking mischievously at him.  
"Do you mind?" he asked laughing.  
"Not in the slightest." She said before she pressed her lips against his, he could feel her smiling as he kissed her back. They broke apart and looked at each other smiling.  
They waited a moment before releasing their hold on one another and when Tonks let go of his jacket and chuckled.  
"I think I ruffled it a little bit" she said smiling and he put his arm around her shoulders, brought her closer to him and she wrapped her arms around his waist.  
"It doesn't change anything, does it?" she asked.  
"About the reason why we were yelling at each other?" he asked smiling.  
"Yes"  
"Nope" he answered quickly.  
"Seems like I don't have that much of a choice. But you know I'm not dropping my job or the Order."  
"I never wanted you to. And you do have a choice, but well…"  
"You're gonna do it anyway" she finished his sentence.  
"Yes" he answered.  
"That's also why I love you, you know that?"  
"Now that I know I won't forget so I can use it if we argue"  
"Shit" he heard her laugh.  
"We should head back to the kitchen" he said and he released her. She eventually moved her arms and they just stood for several long seconds looking at each other smiling. They walked back to the kitchen and when they entered Sirius joined them.  
"I went, you know, visiting the house while you two were fighting" he said smiling; Tonks laughed; "so are you two… still fighting? I mean; is it like last time?" Sirius continued. Remus and Tonks looked at each other and smiled.  
"No" Remus answered  
"Okay. So now it's my turn" Sirius started "Did you read that they said it's me who helped them escaping? How the fuck dare they say that!" Sirius complained a moment about the newspaper.  
"They're doing what we did, they're forming their group again." Remus said too calmly.  
"Yes. It's looking more and more like last time." Sirius answered looking down.  
"But Mad-Eye says we're more prepared this time." Tonks said trying to reassure everyone.  
"Hm. It can't be like last time" Remus said shaking his head and Sirius only nodded.  
"We lost too many people. Look at what happened to the Longbottom! All the muggle born who died. James and Lily.." Remus said, striking his hair trying to control his anger.  
"We were so young." Sirius said seeming lost in his thoughts. Remus knew exactly how Sirius felt; the three of them were like brothers and still are.  
"It can't happen." Remus said getting angrier. "If anything happened to you…" he said talking to Tonks even if he didn't even need to tell her, she had understood. "You're so young. I- I don't know what I'd…" Remus said as he shook his head. He fell back in his chair and added "I can't even imagine such things!"

She put her hand on his and, with her other hand forced him to look at her lifting his chin. "Hey, I'm here, alright? I'm not alone, I have Kingsley and Mad-Eye at my work, and there are the Weasley and Sirius and… and I have you. I'm not alone, we are not alone." He understood what she meant but he had lived it already. But he had lost so many people he didn't want her to be next. He tried to shake his head in agreement but apparently she didn't seem convinced because she leaned closer to him, slid her hand on his neck, striking gently and kissed his temple very tenderly.

Tonks sat back on her chair, but still holding Remus's hand. Sirius wasn't even looking at them but he seemed lost in his thoughts. No doubt he was thinking about James and Lily. Remus was looking at him sadly, not knowing what to say but Tonks but her free hand on Sirius's and smiling kindly at him. Sirius nodded and squeezed her hand as response; he seemed very touch by his cousin's sign of affection and sympathy.  
They were cut by an owl that came at the window so Tonks got up and took the parchment.  
"My dear three friends, Tomorrow, same time as usual; we will all meet. Your old Professor." Tonks read out loud.  
"Well he does know us well, doesn't he?" Sirius said  
"Yes. He does." Remus said  
"That's almost freaky sometimes. It's like he's _everywhere_" Tonks said smiling and they burst out laughing. She walked back to the table and as she passed behind Remus she put her hand on his shoulder. Remus looked up at her smiling; he turned his head and saw Sirius looking at them. Maybe because of the events of the day he wouldn't joke about it because he looked at them with a small smile.  
"By the way, I'll take you back home" Remus said casually, looking at Tonks who was sitting next to him again.  
"Remus" Tonks started "don't do that because-"  
"No and please, don't argue. If you don't do it for you, do it for me." He insisted. She waited a minute before answering.  
"Alright" she eventually said and Remus smiled at her as an answer.  
"You should be happy Tonks" Sirius said.  
"Why?" She answered raising her eyebrows and Remus was sure she was blushing but she had morphed it very quickly  
"Because he's there for you. He'll protect you. I know, right now you feel like you don't need to be protected but, you know, the last time, we all realized that everyone needs to be protected at some point. It doesn't mean he thinks you can't do it by yourself. It just means he cares too much about you to risk anything. You know if I could go out of this house I'll try my best to protect Harry and you of course, but you see this house is my way to be protected for the moment even if I hate this house with all my guts." Sirius said seriously but smiling a bit.  
"Yeah…" she said looking down.  
"I'm not blaming you Tonks, I felt the same at first. I understand you." Sirius said; of course he would. He was stuck in this house for his own protection. Tonks looked up at Sirius and turned her head to look at Remus. They looked at each other for several seconds and she eventually smiled at him. He smiled back and he put his hand on her knee under the table. He loved this woman more than he had loved anyone in his life. He felt her hand on his hand and smiled at her.

* * *

Hey everyone! This week I putting two chapters!


	22. Everything has changed

**Disclaimer : I do not own HP or any character.**

* * *

"_Cause all I know is we said hello and your eyes look like coming home. All I know is you held the door. You'll be mine and i'll be yours. All I know since yesterday is everything has changed. And all I feel in my stomach is butterflies the beautiful kind making up for lost time, taking flight, making me feel like I just want to know you better._"_ Everything has changed_ - Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran

* * *

_The same night._

Tonks and Remus were in front of her door. Tonks opened it and just as she entered Remus put his hand on her hips and she turned to face him. Their lips immediately met and they kissed each other tenderly but with strength. She put her arms around his neck and he brought her closer to him. They kissed each other for a long time and when they eventually broke apart she kissed his cheeks and his jaw and she laughed.  
"What?" he asked.  
"Nothing" she answered.  
"No tell me; why do you laugh?" Remus asked wondering what could be wrong with him.  
"Nothing it's just... I love that I can do that now!"  
"You're crazy Nymphadora Tonks" he said leaving a quick kiss on her lips.  
"Am I?" she said smiling. She tighten her hold around his neck and wrapped her legs around his waist.  
"Hum… yes you are." Putting his nose on her and she kissed him again. She kissed his cheek maybe ten times in a row.  
"So do you want to come in?" she asked smiling.  
"I don't know" he said laughing.  
"Shut up Remus Lupin, I know you want. So kiss me now." she demanded smiling and he didn't mind doing as she said.  
He teased her a bit, caressing her nose with his, her cheek a bit and then his lips gently caressed hers before he really kissed her. A real big kiss, the kind that says all the things you want to say but you don't find word powerful enough.  
She pushed the door closed with her hand and he was against the door kissing him passionately.

They kissed again but with more passion, maybe they both realize how deep their love was. He managed to go to her bedroom; making a lot of things falling on their way as they were kissing passionately but they didn't care about anything else in the world. He put her on the bed, she was sitting on it and he leaned to kiss her, but he started kissing her lips, her cheeks and her neck. She was unbuttoning his sweater, then his shirt. She put her hands around him, grabbing him closer to her and he was on his knee, on top of her as they were kissing and putting off their clothes at the same time.  
As he put off his shirt he realized that he just showed her all his scars, he had a second of blank at this moment and she just traced one of his scars with her finger and she kissed him again. He kissed her lips, her cheek and her neck. The more he had the more he wanted. She put her hand in his hair which made Remus shivering, all she was doing was making him even more passionate and in love with her. He wanted this night to last forever and seeing the way she was kissing him she was feeling the exact same way. They both realized how crazy of each other they were.

* * *

She kissed him one last time, very passionately, not letting go of his lips.

"Wow" she said after rolling down on just next to him, when they were both laying on the bed.  
"Oh my! Dora!" he laughed.  
"I love you" she said smiling against his lips. "and I love when you say 'Dora'; I love when you smile too; I love when you look at me the way you're doing right now; I love when your hair is messy, I love that I know I'll wake up tomorrow morning and you'll be here" He pressed his lips against hers.

"I love you" he said smiling against her lips just like she did with him "I love calling you Dora; and I love the way you're looking at me; I love when you smile while you're kissing me well actually I just love when you kiss me. And I love when you smile, I love your laugh too. And I love to know that you'll be in my arms all night long and that you'll be with me when I'll wake up"

She threw her arms around his neck and rolled over him. She lay on him and kissed his lips smiling. He really did love when she kissed him smiling.  
"Dora, you need to sleep"  
"I don't know if I'll get much sleep knowing that I am in the same bed as you" she said laughing.  
Remus shook his head; he loved her humour too. As he was here with her he realized everything he loved about her.  
"This isn't the first time we're in the same bed" he said laughing.  
"That's true! You, Remus Lupin already put me in your bed." She answered laughing too  
"Your feet are cold" he said after a few seconds and she stuck her tongue at him.  
"I'm sorry Remus" she answered trying to sound hurt and she rolled back on her side of the bed and as she was laying on her back he kissed her on the cheek and she turned to look at him.  
"I love that your feet are cold" he said and he quickly kissed her nose.  
"You don't do that because you're afraid I'm going to die?" she said very seriously. He didn't know what to answer to that; of course he didn't. He knew that. He's always loved her; his feelings for her only grew bigger days after days. How could she think that.  
"Doing what?" he asked, saving time.  
"Being here with me; saying you love me"  
"I mean every word I tell you. I'm here because; maybe yes I realized that was stupid not to tell you all of this before even if like I told you we can't tell anyone; not now."  
"I knew that; you already thought that even before it happened"  
"I'm doing this for you. I know I'm being selfish but I just want to protect you because nothing should happen to you. Merlin's sake. I really am selfish, another reason why-" he was more talking to himself and he realized what he was doing to her as he said it. He was so taken by the emotions of the moment that he hadn't think at all about what he was doing to her.  
"No. no, no, no. Don't change your mind. Just don't. You're not being selfish. Don't do that. Don't leave me saying you regret." She said laughing nervously  
"But Dora, do you realize how selfish I am? I'm asking you not to tell anyone; you're young you should be with a young guy who would be normal and protect you and-"  
"Shut up Remus! God, it had started so well! Remus, do you love me?" she asked seriously.  
"Of course I love you but-"  
"Well there's no but. You love me. I love you. End of conversation. Now kiss me" she said firmly; he was about to speak but as he opened his mouth she repeated "kiss me" and so he did.  
He got closer to her; she was caressing his cheeks softly as they were kissing.  
"Don't leave me Remus" she said and she kissed him once again.  
"I won't." he answered  
"If you do it anyway, promise me that you'll come back" she said looking at him.  
He chuckled; he knew that could happen if he let doubt taking over him; but for the moment he'd let this idea well away.  
"I promise I'll always come back to you. And, please, promise me that you'll always remember that I love you no matter what."  
"I promise" she said and they kissed again; very softly and tenderly.  
"And you can't demand me to kiss you every time we argue."  
"We'll see about that." She said laughing.  
"Well, let's put rules about that."  
"No. I'll use it as much as I want."  
"Only if it works with me too."  
"Try."  
"Kiss me" he said smiling, trying not to laugh and she came closer, kissing him smiling, she left a few quick kissed on his lips before breaking apart.  
"Alright. Use it as much as you want." he said laughing. "But, you should sleep now" he said smiling and she moaned. "Goodnight, _beautiful_" he said in her ear.  
"Alright… Goodnight, _love_" she said smiling back. She was turning her back to him and he put his arm around her, holding her tight against his body.  
"My love" he whispered in her ear "I love you. I'm not going to leave you. Tomorrow morning, you're going to wake up and I'll be there; I'll prepare you breakfast. So now, sleep tight and have very sweet dreams."  
She turned her face to look at him and he kissed her cheek. She smiled closing her eyes and he put his arm around her. He was holding her tight and she seemed to like it because she had her hand on his forearm caressing softly with her fingers for a moment before she fell asleep.  
He realized he could spend his whole life telling her how much he loved her, how much he wanted to be with her. He had rarely been this happy than that very night, kissing her and holding her tight against him.

* * *

_Hey everyone! So yes I updated twice because I thought it'd be a bit long to put everything in one chapter but I know it's also useless but well. I thought it was better this way._  
_So, Just for you to know, the offer of __**one-shot stories on demand is still on**__. Don't hesitate if you have an idea because I'd love to!_  
_I hope you liked this two chapters! Their very first kiss; I hope you like how I did it! I've written this chapter a few times ago._  
_And another thing, I think I'll update more in the future weeks because I have a lot of ideas of Christmas moments so I want to go faster in the story it will be Christmas time. Don't be surprised if there are a lot of chapters like this in December. (__**AGAIN if you have ideas of Christmas moments : Tell me**__! :D)_  
_Well, as always,__ don't hesitate to review if you liked or disliked anything__! I'd be glad to know what you think. Have a good week! :)_


	23. And we'll stop the time

**Disclaimer : I do not own anything.**

* * *

_"And all my walls stood tall painted blue but i'll take them down, take them down and open up the door for you. And all I feel in my stomach is butterflies the beautiful kind making up for lost time, taking flight, making me feel like I just want to know you better now." Everything has changed _- Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran

* * *

Remus had spent one of the quietest nights in his life. He could start to feel the effect of the full moon but he didn't even care. He had woken up when her clock rang and got up to prepare her breakfast telling her she had a little more time. He always laughed when he saw her in the morning she was always moaning some inaudible things as answers, trying to hide under the covers.  
As he was looking at her eating her cereals, his cup of coffee in her hand, he started speaking what he had in mind.

"Do you think you'll be free on Friday?" He asked smiling. He wondered if he had even stopped smiling since he had waken up.  
"I think so yes, I mean if we don't find them in the first few days I don't think they'll keep us night and day. I hope so. So yeah I think so , why?" she eventually fighting not to smile.  
"I think I should do things properly. I've never asked you on a date so now I'm taking you on a date if you agree."  
"Really?" She asked surprised.  
"Yes. You and me and couple stuffs."  
"I'd love to!"  
"Right so Friday at 7:30pm, alright?"  
"Great!" She said smiling even more. Remus was glad she liked that idea he was afraid she'd tought it was lame. "Wait here, I'll finish preparing myself." Remus simply nodded and she left the room but came back just after a few minutes. She had put a little make up on her eyes and Remus realized he hadn't noticed she wasn't wearing any before. She was so beautiful naturally. She walked towards him.  
"May I?" she asked looking down at his lap then up to him.  
"Of course you may, but only if you kiss me." He said smiling, helping her sitting on him. And she kissed his forehead, his left cheek, his right cheek and eventually, she pressed her soft warm lips on his. After a little moment, their tongues were naturally playing a game. She had rarely kissed him like that; she had slightly put the tip of her fingers on his cheek as she was kissing him. When they broke apart she looked at him smiling mischievously and finally spoke what she had in mind.

"I want to be sure that you'll miss me." She said and bite her lip.  
"Merlin knows I will!" He said laughing  
"So, I still have 10 minutes ahead which is great." She said smiling  
"Yes it is." He said and she buried her head in his neck, he could feel her forehead and the tip of her nose on his neck.  
"When will I see you again?" She asked calmly.  
"Well tonight."  
"Oh yeah right, the meeting. I won't stay long by the way, it's going to be a long week so I'll go back home early."  
"It's a good idea. You should rest." He said and after a few seconds of silence "be careful today."  
"I always am careful but… I know. I will."  
"I don't doubt your skills you know." He said and she moved to look at him, put her hands delicately on his cheeks as she was looking at him straight in the eyes.  
"I know." She just said, smiling kindly at him. She kissed him quickly but before as she broke apart he tightened his hold on her, getting her closer to him and kissed her again.  
Too soon she had to leave for work and he left for his place and changed his clothes. He had little work to do for the Order and then there was the meeting.  
He didn't get to talk to her that much, but he didn't mind because their relation was different now. They were closer than ever. They were looking at each other had had these interior conversations. They talked a lot about the Azkaban breakout of course and Tonks seemed pissed off about it, no doubt she had heard about it all day long. She said something that made Molly say "Tonks!" but Moody laughed, sure he was proud.

* * *

Friday came faster than he thought. First, there was the the full moon in the beginning of the week which had been quite tough since at that very moment he hated himself more than ever. It was the reason why he shouldn't be with here. That one thing he tried not to think about when he was with her. But when on Friday, he was feeling quite fine, physically.  
He put his favourite clothes on and headed to her apartment at 7:30pm with flowers which Tonks had talked about once. They can change colours and Remus had searched for them for days.  
He knocked and after a little moment Tonks came to open the door. She was wearing a dark blue ¾ sleeved short dress, ample at the end. It suited her golden blonde hair, a bit longer than usual. She hadn't changed anything except her hair and he also loved her for that.  
"Wotcher Remus!" She said smiling  
"Hello Dora." He said and handed her the little bouquet of flowers she took them smiling even more. When she touched them, they turned pink.  
"They're so great, thank you!" She said and stepped closer to hug him and she left a small kiss on his cheek.  
"I'm glad you like them."  
"I just need to put my shoes on." She said at the same time she put the flowers in a glass.  
"Alright. Take your time we're not in a hurry."  
"Oh, in that case…" she said and she walked quickly towards him, wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tight, her feet not touching the floor.  
"And it had only been a week." He said laughing when she put herself on her feet again.  
"Oh I'm sorry! If you didn't miss me at all." She said trying to sound hurt but her smile was betraying her and she stood on her feet again. She folded her arms, trying to look angry.  
"I missed you Dora, I missed your kisses too" He said and he kissed her cheek, her jaw and her neck. He knew that kisses in the neck were her weakness and once again he was right because he felt her hand in his hair.  
"Go put your shoes, though." He said smiling as he looked back at her. And she walked in the room and she put light brown boots. She put her dark purple coat and her light brown scarf and walked towards him smiling. He couldn't help but pulled her towards him, hugging her tightly.  
"You seem in a very good mood for our first night out." He said smiling.  
"How would I not?" She said looking up at him, putting her chin on his chest.  
They left her apartment and apparated in a little street in the city.  
"We'll have to walk a bit, you don't mind?"  
"Not in the slightest." She said and she held his arm as they started walking. They talked of the muggle streets decorated for Christmas and soon enough they were already in front of the restaurant Remus had chosen. Remus opened the door for her and she looked startled when he held the door for her.  
"I'm sorry, is this too much?" He asked embarrassed.  
"No. no, no. It's just that I'm not used to this." She said just as much embarrassed and he chuckled. A waitress came to them and headed them to a table, a good one, which was in the corner , near a window but there wasn't too much people around. Remus hated crowded restaurants and he had no doubt Tonks would feel the same.

They started dinner, talking about their week. Tonks had searched for the well-known death eaters all week and so did Remus with some members of the had just ordered desert and they decided not to talk about work again. She had started to eat her desert, the Chantilly cream and Remus was gazing at her. He liked her little moments of concentration, like at that moment when she carefully took the Chantilly in her cup. He was smiling at her and when she looked up she blushed, Remus chuckled which made her blush even more and the tip of her hair turned pink.

"Dora, your hair" he said kindly.  
"Oh, shit."  
"Charming."  
"Do you mind my swearing now?"  
"Never did, I'm not starting now."  
"I hope so! I'm not going to change." She said smiling but her eyebrows raised.  
"I never wanted you to." He said smiling  
"Right." She just answered and he took her hand and squeezed it.  
"Don't think I want you to change. I like when you swear, when you're clumsy, when you get pissed at something."  
"I'm not clumsy on purpose." She said laughing.  
"I know." He said and chuckled. "It doesn't mean it's not endearing." He added and she blushed. He loved to make her blush.  
"Go on, taste this" he said as he took a spoon of his own desert and handed it to her. She tasted and smiled.  
"It's so good! You do have good tastes in a matter of desert." She said smiling.  
"Well, _that_'s a compliment, but, for your information, not only in a matter of desert."  
"What does that mean, Mr Lupin?"  
"I think you know exactly what I mean."  
"I am profoundly shocked and touched."  
"Alright, would you like to go for a walk back home?"  
"Will I have the right to see your place at the end?"  
"Alright." He said after a little moment.

They left the table, Tonks wanted to pay, Remus told her he would pay, she argued and he said that if she wanted she'd pay next time. Remus didn't really want her to pay next time and she agreed saying that she wouldn't forget, he was a bit old school about that and he admitted to himself that Tonks wasn't exactly the best girl for that but he didn't mind. He liked change, he liked her.  
They were walking down the street, there were Christmas decorations everywhere which made Tonks in a very good mood. Remus was walking, his arm on her shoulders, he was proud to be with her. As they were walking she suddenly told him to wait for him in front of a little newspapers shop and to wait for her as she entered.  
As he was waiting a young woman came towards him, her friends looking at her while chuckling. Remus thought they must have bet her to do some stupid things but he soon realized he was wrong.

"Hi" she said shyly.  
"Hello" Remus answered hesitantly.  
"Well, I think you're very good looking, and I know this is stupid but my friends told me to go talk to you and that I shouldn't be shy. So I wondered if you'd like… I don't know to go take a coffee? I know this is silly, uh? But I mean, you're very good looking and you're alone so…"  
"I'm sorry but-" he started but Tonks opened the door of the store, he glanced at her and finished quickly "I'm not alone actually."  
Tonks looked surprised and looked at the girl, an eyebrow raised.  
"Oh, oh alright. Sorry. Goodbye." The woman said and left.  
"Who was she?"  
"No one." Remus answered, looking at Tonks smiling. But she wasn't smiling, she was still looking surprised and was apparently waiting for a real answer.  
"I told you : no one. I don't know her." He said and he put his arms around her neck and he leaned to kiss her forehead gently.  
"You don't know her?"  
"No I don't. She came here to ask something."  
"Merlin's beard. Was she flirting with you?"  
"No, because to flirt, she would need me to do the same. I told her I wasn't alone."  
"Well, I mean we didn't say anything maybe you want to…" she started but he cut her quickly.  
"No. I want you, all alone, just you and your swearing, your hair, your laugh and your clumsiness." He said as he forced her into a hug.  
"I bought you something." She said not very audibly against his chest. He stepped away and she put a chocolate bar out of the little bag.  
"Milk chocolate with hazelnuts."  
"Perfect."  
"I knew you'd like it." She said smiling proudly.  
"I was talking about you too."  
"Oh, thanks" she said blushing "I won't forget you know. I mean, be careful when you say stuffs like that." She said trying not to laugh to her own joke.  
"I am careful" he laughed and rolled his eyes. Tonks shook her head and they continued walking down the streets.

Tonks would stop from times to times to look at a Christmas decoration and said they'd have to decorate Grimmauld Place. It was starting to get cold and Remus offered to go home not saying directly where they would go. But Tonks said "I'll finally see your place!" . So they walked to a little street and disapparated to his home.

They were at the gate. It was a little house, with a little road in front that led to a black gate. There was nothing except the house, except a few little trees in the front garden. It was very dark and the house wasn't very visible so Remus quickly opened the gate to her and, and showed her the way.

He opened the door and she walked in, she was shaking of the cold. He took her coat, put it on the coat hanger and just after he had put off his own he put his arms around her and stroke her back. She tried to do the same to him but didn't manage to do it really because she was too cold to have enough strength and courage maybe. She looked up at him, smiling kindly and a bit amused too.  
He kissed the tip of her nose and then hugged her even tighter.

"Remus" she said but he was not expecting any more. The way she said it, he knew she had nothing to add.  
"Dora" he said mimicking the way she said his name. They broke apart and they walked to the living room, which was a big room which made one with the kitchen.  
There was a brown sofa, with a little square shaped table and a muggle tv in front of it. There were several shelves of books on the sides of the tv. The walls were beige and there were brown curtains on the windows.  
"So that's where Remus Lupin lives" she said smiling.  
"Well, yes, since quite a long time now."  
"I like it." She said nodding her head. "It seems so cosy you know, it's easy to feel comfortable here."  
"Well I'm glad you like it."  
"Oh I'm sorry! I said it in a way like… oh sorry you know I mean it's your house! I don't have to give my opinion. I know I talk without thinking. But you know that! There's no filter between my brain and my mouth, uh? But you know, I just mean to say that your house is lovely." When she had finally finished speaking Remus couldn't help but laugh which made her frown. So Remus walked towards her, put his hands gently on her neck, lifted her chin up and said "You know I love you" and he kissed her softly, still smiling a bit.  
"Do you want anything to drink?" He asked kindly.  
"Hum…" she hesitated, looking loosely at the other end of the room "Sorry to bother but, I'm like a bit thirsty and I'd like something refreshing, do you have some orange juice?"  
"Yes love, and no, you're not bothering me. And please, make yourself at home." He said before he kissed the top of her head and walked to the kitchen, pouring her a glass of fresh orange juice.  
They sat in the couch; she took a sip of her orange juice and just after she put back her glass on the table she leant to kiss him.  
"Your lips taste of orange juice." He said just against her lips.  
"Hmm you mind?" she answered.  
"Not at all." He said before kissing her again.  
Then they spent a little time quiet, almost not saying a word. She was resting her head on his chest, she had put her hand under his pullover but over his shirt, tracing circles. He saw her hair turning slowly pink again. He loved seeing her hair changed colour, especially when it was his favourite one.  
"Tired of being blonde?" He asked quietly. He saw her trying to look at her hair on her forehead.  
"Well, apparently. I didn't do it on purpose, though."

She moved and sat more on his side, looking at him. He looked at her and he loved what he saw in her eyes. He could forget that he was and old poor werewolf. He was just him with her. He smiled at her and she returned the smile even more kindly. Then she leaned towards him to kiss his temple, his cheek, his jaw and eventually her lips found his and in the way she was kissing him, he knew he would spend a very great night.

* * *

_Hey everyone! I know I wrote a chapter all cute and stuffs so in case you're tired of this, it's just that it's not because their story is tragic that they don't deserve any sweet moments. And during the weekend I had a lot of ideas about the moment after Sirius's death - very sad, while listening to sad songs - so now I was glad to write something sweet._  
_**Don't hesitate to review to tell me what you like dislike**! And I realized I had forbidden anonymous reviews again, but now it's not anymore.** Don't hesitate to ask me to write any short story that you'd like too**!  
And now we're in December! Yay Christmas! :D_


	24. Love me if you dare

**Disclaimer : I do not own Harry Potter **

* * *

_Cap ou pas cap? Love me if you dare.  
Tell me, because if I tell you first I'm afraid you'll think it's a game. Tell me you love me.  
Jeux d'enfants - Love me if you dare._

* * *

Remus walked in the Headquarters and found Sirius and Tonks in the living room. He sat with them, in the chair he was usually sitting. They talked for an hour or two when Tonks, as elegant as always said:  
"I need to pee."  
"We don't want to know." Sirius said as he shook his head. Surprisingly Remus like the way she always spoke mind even when it was for saying things like that.

Tonks got up and started walking across the room but on her way she got closer to the chair Remus was sitting in and she messed up his hair with her hand but very gently.  
"Ah! Come on!" he said, trying not to laugh and she walked out of the room. "Wait till I catch you." He threatened her but not moving. She walked normally out of the room and at the door she turned to the two men.  
"Like you could catch me." She said smiling, an eyebrow raised.  
Remus looked at Sirius who was smiling.  
"I think she's testing you, mate." Sirius said.  
"You think?"  
"I even think she's daring you. Never dare a Marauder, Tonks."  
"Right! Mr Lupin is in his chair, a book in his hands. I'm not scared."  
"Maybe you should." Remus said smiling.

Tonks laughed and Remus got up, walking towards her, normally and so she started running up the stairs and Remus followed her take three steps at a time. She was running in a corridor and soon enough Remus caught her by the waist, she was laughing all the way since she had started.  
"I told you." He said as he pushed her gently against the wall and he kissed the tip of her nose.  
"Pfft You were lucky."  
"I was not." He said smiling. His whole body was against her and they were both looking at each other grinning.  
"So what will you do, now?" She said, her eyebrows raised, daring him to do something.  
"I could tickle you." He said smiling.  
"You wouldn't dare. Don't forget I'm an Auror, Remus!"  
"Don't dare me, Nymphadora." He said and she stuck her tongue at him. He started tickling her, she tried to fight but she was laughing so much and she lost all strength. He was laughing with her because he just loved to hear her laugh.

"Come on Remus! Please" she said laughing at the same time.  
"Alright, alright." He eventually gave up. He wrapped his arms around her back and held her tight against her while she was trying to breathe normally again. After a little time she hugged him back more tightly.  
"You're mean with me, you know that?"  
"I'm not. I know you like it."  
"Alright maybe a very little bit, but it's exhausting."  
"Oh, my Dora." He said, striking her back.  
"And you're my Remus?"  
"Well yes, but it doesn't sound so good."  
"My wolf." She said laughing.  
"Nice." He she released him a bit to look at him. Her look changed, she was smiling mischievously.

He pushed her against the wall gently and he put his hand on her waist, slightly under her shirt which sent a shiver down her spine.  
He leaned towards her and left a kiss on her temple, then on her cheek and on her jaw. He felt her catching her breath and he pressed his lips against hers. They kissed tenderly as he put his hands on her sides, stroking gently her soft skin with his thumbs while she was gripping the front of his sweater.

When they broke apart he left a few quick kisses on her lips, smiling against her lips.  
"We should go back in the living room." He said even if he could stay forever here, kissing her.  
"Alright." She answered and she held his hand and they walked in the corridor. Suddenly, she stopped and turned in front of him and threw her arms around his neck, not kissing him yet, but looking at him smiling. He put his hands on her arms, stroking slightly. Remus could guess she had something on her mind, maybe he could see it in her smile, or in her eyes. He didn't exactly know what but he could just guess.  
"Speak your thoughts Dora." He simply said.  
"It's nothing, really, it's silly."  
"I'll tickle you again."  
"One day you'll face the angry Auror inside of me." She said laughing.  
"You're wasting time. Are you going to tell me what you think?"  
"It's silly. It's just… really, stupid."  
"Dora. I swear I'm going to tickle if you don't speak very soon."  
"I can't believe you're threatening me. And I thought you were a gentleman. Mr Lupin had been a teacher, a good man."  
"Dora."  
"Alright… I was just thinking… " she started and then she added very fast "I wondered if I could see you tonight. I know I'm inviting myself but maybe… Merlin! Sometimes I'm so stupid with words." Remus had to concentrate to understand every word since she had spoken so fast and while she was speaking her hair had turned a bit red to show her embarrassment.  
Remus shook his head smiling and gazing at her and he leaned to kiss her softly and tenderly but she responded with more strength. He broke apart unwillingly.  
"So?" She asked.  
"You don't even have to ask."  
"I can come to your place tonight?"  
"Yes." He said before he kissed her on the cheek.  
"You don't mind me inviting myself at your home?" She asked her eyebrows risen.  
"No, you know you don't have to ask. And I'm more than happy that you actually want to come."  
"Well, maybe I miss hearing you snoring." She said before she stuck her tongue at him. Remus shook his head, and rolled his eyes.  
"Let's go see Sirius, he must wonder what we're doing."

They were walking in the corridor when she spoke again:  
"Hey love" she started.  
"Yes?"  
"You'll say I fought when you caught me?" She said smiling. Remus chuckled.  
"I'll say it was hard to catch you, me being too old, but I managed." He said and Tonks shook her head.  
"You proved me, once again, that you are not too old."  
"I wish." He said and kissed her head as they walked.

There was always a part of him that thought that he was being selfish. Even if she seemed to like being with him, he always thought it wouldn't last, that one day she'd realize how much better she could find.

They were near the living room and Remus messed up Tonks's hair.  
"Whaaaat the-?" She asked turning to look at him.  
"Well, that's only fair. And it had to look believable."  
"You!" But he walked past her and entered the living room, she was following him trying to tidy her hair a little.  
"So, what did I say about Marauders?"  
"You know what I say? I say there will be revenge coming. Both of you. Because Sirius, you're the one who told him to go."  
"We're only waiting for it." Sirius said smiling.

Tonks sat in the sofa and Remus in the chair, just like they had before.  
"We should decorate the place for Christmas!" Tonks said smiling.  
"If you want do it. I'm not doing it. Too much work."  
"It's so much better to read the newspaper and to ramble."  
"Exactly."  
"Remus, you'll help me?" She looked at him, her eyes full of hope. She looked like a little girl like that, and he felt like he couldn't say no, not that he wanted to actually.  
"Well you two do it! You'll spend more time here."  
"And you'll help us?" Tonks said looking at Sirius her eyebrows raised, hoping for a positive answer even though she seemed quite surprised.  
"Maybe, I'll get you drinks."  
"Wow, not too much! Calm down! Don't do so much, really, you're gonna be exhausted." Tonks said sarcastically.  
Sirius shot her a pissed glance but smiled just a few seconds after.  
"Alright, so you'll do it Remus?" She asked again and he nodded smiling at her.  
"Great! I'll go to my parents to ask for decorations; they have tones of them!"  
"You'll say hi to your mum for me." Sirius said quietly.  
"Yes. I explained to them in a coded language. It was quite hard but I managed. I want to be sure that they hadn't hear anything clearly in case the ministry talk to them if they have doubt on me."  
"That is very safe and smart." Remus said.  
"Thank you, Professor." She answered and he shook his head laughing.

"You like the fantasy of the teacher and the student, don't you?" Sirius asked and Tonks burst out laughing but Remus saw that she had blushed and morphed it.  
"Well, maybe." She answered playfully.  
"You hear that Remus? I think you have your chances with my dear little cousin If you teach her some things." Sirius said raising his eyebrows at him.  
"Are we really having this conversation?" Remus asked.  
"Well, we're just trying to find a way to get my little cousin with my best friend, do you mind?"  
"I am so not having this conversation." Remus said.  
"Tonks, do you mind?"  
"I don't know, is your best friend a professor?"  
"Fortunately, yes he is."  
"I'm totally into it!" She said playing the game.  
"You should search for you Hogwarts uniform."  
"Seriously this conversation is way too weird." Remus said trying to focus on the newspaper .  
"Do you think he'll like me?" She said, looking at Sirius and Remus hid himself behind the newspaper so they wouldn't see he was smiling.  
"Well, I think he does like girls with pink hair." Sirius said. Remus glanced at him; he was looking from one another, daring them to answer. Remus hid himself even more behind the newspaper.  
"Well, I'm totally into it then! I'll come with my uniform to tease him a bit next time." She said with no ounce of embarrassment in her voice. She was good at reacting to that kind of things. Remus, on the contrary, was a terrible liar.  
"I think we did make him uncomfortable." Sirius stated and chuckled.  
"You think?"  
"Yes, he's hiding behind his newspaper. He's totally uncomfortable."  
"Yes, unlike you who can talk fantasy between your friend and your little cousin and moreover with them."  
"I know." Sirius said proudly. "Tonks, I think our friend Moony deserves a hug, he's mad at us."

Remus didn't know what Sirius was playing at. Was he really trying to get them together? Sirius knew Remus had little feelings for her but he didn't know they were together. Had he found out? It was impossible; they tried to be careful in front of him. At the last meetings they had talked a bit, but she only hugged him to say hello and goodbye and she was doing the same to Sirius. He couldn't have found out but maybe he wanted them to be together actually.

Tonks got up and sat on the armchair and wrapped her arms around his neck, resting her head on his.  
"Do you forgive us?" She said kindly.  
"I know I'm gonna regret this, but yes I do." He said laughing.  
"Thank you!" She said and she kissed his cheek before ruffling his hair, just a bit. Actually she was more striking his hair.  
"Tonks, you're so close from the kitchen can you get drinks?"  
"Oh come on! Why me? I'm not a houselady!"  
"Please. I don't want to ask Kreacher, I suspect him of spitting in my drinks." Sirius said seriously and they both laughed.  
"Alright, next time it's one of you! I swear I'm not moving my arse from this sofa!"  
"Alright." Sirius agreed. She left for the kitchen and Sirius smiled mischievously at him, and raised his eyebrows.  
"I'm not talking about that with you." Remus said before Sirius could say anything.  
"You like her, she likes you."  
"I'm not talking to you." Remus said again  
"Well, play the professor and you'll get her so easy."  
"Merlin! Sirius!" Remus said a bit loud but smiling. "She's your cousin!" he said in a lower voice.

* * *

_Hey, I hope you like it :) i had the idea yesterday in class (I was very concentrated, uh?) _  
_I'll update some Christmas special, I can't wait to write them :D _  
_Enjoy your weekend :D_


	25. Christmas spirit

_"For true love is inexhaustible; the more you give, the more you have. And if you go to draw at the true fountainhead, the more water you draw, the more abundant is its flow."_ Antoine de Saint-Exupery

* * *

Sirius Point of view

When he thought about it, Sirius had witnessed quite a few things: he had witnessed (more than one time) a full moon with his werewolf friend and a special stag. He had witnessed – with the whole Gryffindor common room, James and Lily's first kiss. He had the chance to witness little baby Harry vomiting on James. And he had witnessed Remus and Tonks' growing love.

The first time he had noticed, it must have been the first time she came at Grimmauld Place. It was not love, but tenderness. Sirius immediately realized that there would be something between them. And as cynical as Sirius could be, he actually believed in love at first sight. He remembered James talking about Lily the very first night. And James and Sirius had had a friendship at first sight and it had been the same with Remus.

Anyway, Tonks and Remus had soon become friends, not to Sirius's surprise. He was glad he had noticed some moments they had shared. Everyone thought that Sirius always said inappropriate things or came at inappropriate moments but actually he was smart enough to wait before entering a room sometimes. But he was sure no one would believe him if he said it.

The first hints were how Tonks came quite often and Remus seemed to come at the same moments. And it wasn't normal that a girl like her wanted to come in that old house to clean the rooms. Of course there had to be someone behind this. This person was Remus. But the man was no better, sure he was in complete denial but he liked having her around.

The first scene Sirius had witnessed was at a meeting when Remus had to speak about his mission with the werewolves. He had only gone there a day but he never liked to see them. While he was speaking, Tonks was looking at him with such tenderness but hidden behind a fake seriousness: not that she didn't care about what he was saying, but Sirius had seen in her eyes that she had so much sympathy for him.

Everyone was leaving, and Sirius had said goodbye to the last to leave: Kingsley and Moody in the hall, and was walking in the kitchen, about to join his two friends in the living room.  
"Remus, listen to me." Tonks said. She put her hand on his forearm but Remus avoided her gaze.

"Tonks it's-" Remus tried to say as he leaned his head on his other hand, messing up his hair the way he always done when he was angry.

"No. Remus, everything I told you last time was true. You belong here." She slid her hand from his forearm to his hand. "Remus, haven't you seen tonight? You belong here, in this order. People listen to you; they believe in you, they trust you. No doubt everyone would trust you with their own lives." She said looking at him "I know I would." She added in a whisper.  
Remus finally looked back at her and she seemed to smile at him. He gave a squeeze to her hand and she sighed in relief.

"See? Please, Remus. Believe me." She said putting her head on one side, still looking at him. Remus still faced her but he was looking down.

"Tonks," he started and he paced his hand in his hair again.

"You're untidying your hair" she said smiling and he seemed to relax. With her free hand, she put her fingers in his hair, tidying them up a bit but she didn't seem to care about this so much.

"Thank you." He said smiling.  
"I didn't do much good to your hair" she said laughing lightly as she stopped.

"You know what for." He answered and she did not answer.

Sirius made a noise with the chair on purpose and when he entered the room Tonks was looking at her hands which were on the table and Remus coughed awkwardly.

Then Sirius noticed the way she said hello and goodbye to him. Especially when there were just the three of them: she'd hug him and kiss him on the cheek. It took a little time to Remus to respond. But with time, Remus would hold her quite tight as an answer. And one time, when Sirius was walking in the corridor he caught a sight of Remus hugging her back and giving her a kiss on her hair.

Sirius liked to make fun of it; he didn't know if they were together and they were hiding it or if they weren't. So he would just give them a little push: just like when Tonks had spilled almost all her drink on the table. Naturally, Sirius was laughing, Remus cleaned quickly with a wave of his wand but couldn't help but laugh. Tonks feigned a hurt expression at him and Sirius took the occasion.

"I think you hurt my little cousin's feelings."  
"Really?" Remus asked, a huge grin still on his lips.

"Yes!" Tonks said and she folded her arms trying hard not to smile.

"I'm sorry. But you laughed too!" Remus said pointing at Sirius.

"I always laugh. But sometimes you're too polite to laugh." Sirius said trying to take his breath again. You should apologize."

"I apologize, Nymphadora." Remus said almost solemnly.

"You're making your case worse." She said, not looking at him and Sirius couldn't help but laugh.  
"You know what kids do after they fight?" Sirius asked "The bad one kiss the other one on the cheek." They both looked at him startled and Sirius only laughed.

Remus leaned and gave a light kiss on her cheek. Tonks did not move nor look at him.

"Come on, Moony. You can do better than that!" Sirius said as he rolled his eyes.

"Alright, alright." Remus said smiling. He moved closer to her and he put both his arms around her, a hand on the back of her neck and the other on her other cheek and he left a longer kiss on her cheek. He kissed her until he was sure she was smiling and when moved his lips from her cheek she was giggling a little, and sure blushing. Remus was blushing too but he was still looking at her. Of course, they were in their little world of love and stuffs and had forgotten Sirius' presence. How nice of them.  
"Ahem." Sirius said and for once he'd be nice and he wouldn't say anything.

Just like at that moment, when Tonks decided to decorate Grimmauld Place and Sirius wouldn't mind of course. It could only make the place more lively.  
"So I went to my parents and I took some decorations!" Tonks said as she entered the kitchen where both Sirius and Remus were sitting.  
"You're doing this alone." Sirius said not that he didn't want to – well he didn't really want actually – but he'd let the two of them alone.  
"You'll help me Remus?" She asked smiling hopefully. Sirius noticed that she had this looking every time she wanted something and Remus was so weak around her.  
"Alright." Remus said nodding his head.  
"I'll watch you two decorate. And I'll get you drinks."  
Tonks rolled her eyes.  
"Where do we place the tree?"  
"You actually brought a Christmas tree here?" Sirius said, his eye open wide in surprise.  
"Yes. I ask my dad to get one for here."  
"So, do we put it in the living room? I have decorations for the library too Remus."  
Remus chuckled.  
"You two, join me in the living room." She said and Remus followed her smiling while Sirius got up and prepared drinks to all of them.  
Tonks put some music and opened the box she had come with. She had put an extendable charm on it. They took out the tree and started decorating it while Sirius was looking at them.  
"You know you could use your wand to do that?" Sirius said as he was reading the newspaper sitting in his chair.  
"It's Christmas! It's funnier if we do it ourselves."  
"If you say so." Sirius only answered.  
Tonks was hanging the Christmas garland and was having fun with it. She took a golden one and put it on her head like a crown. Remus helped her to tie it and he bowed in front of her. She reached her hand for him to kiss it and so he did kiss the back of her hand.  
"Your Majesty, we are most honoured to have you here with us" he said quietly and looked up to her "My Queen." He added smiling.  
She took another golden garland and tied it around his head like a crown too and looked at him amused.  
"I am the one who is the most honoured My King."  
"And what am I?" Sirius asked an eyebrow raised.  
"I don't know, your majesty would you make him Jester or Knight?"  
"Hey!" Sirius shouted when he heard the word 'Jester'. If they knew how much he was trying to get them together, they would be nicer.  
"I don't know, let's be nice."  
"You'll be my knight." Tonks said smiling.  
"Too nice of you!" Sirius said, trying to sound hurt.  
They continued decorating and they were placing the Christmas balls. Tonks was very concentrated, searching for the perfect place every time. Remus kept gazing at her the whole time, decorating a bit.

Sirius noticed how Remus took every occasion to get close to her, or was it her doing everything she could to go closer to him? Both.  
Sirius went back to the kitchen when he heard a noise, suspecting Kreacher of having done something again. Why couldn't he just stop trying to make his days worse?

When Remus had left the room, Tonks turned towards Remus, made a step closer and kissed him very tenderly: her lips softly caressing his. Remus realized that every time they kissed it was different. He liked that and he hoped he would always have this impression because he would never be tired of kissing her. It was a sweet kiss but she left a few quick kisses on his lips before she really stepped back.  
"You like our Christmas tree?" he said quietly when she was looking at him, her eyes smiling just as much as her lips.  
"Yes I do. But if you think I don't feel you looking at me when we were decorating, Remus, you're wrong."  
"I am sorry that you're so beautiful."  
She shook her head and rolled her eyes so Remus put his hand on her hip, getting her closer to him, he put his nose in her hair, her mouth so close to her ear.  
"You _are_ beautiful." He whispered. He saw her smile and even blush. She turned her head towards him and they were looking at each other lovingly. Remus pressed his lips on her forehead and just as he did she gripped the front of his pullover so he rested his chin on the top of her head a little.  
They stepped away and just a minute after Sirius walked back in the living room.

"Actually, for once it wasn't him." Sirius said as he went back.

"You could have brought us hot chocolate." Tonks said smiling.

"No one does them as good as Remus." Sirius said smiling and he sat back on his chair.

"Alright, I'll come back with hot chocolate." Remus said and he left for the kitchen. He let the two Black in the living room, and started to get the ingredients. He was waiting for the milk to be hot enough when he felt two arms tighten around his waist. He took the tiny hands in his and he felt her head on his back.

"Sirius told me to leave because apparently, it is not in the Christmas spirit of his to hear me sing Christmas songs." She said rambling.

"Said the man who pissed the hell out of me at Hogwarts during Christmas holidays when he couldn't stop singing some Christmas songs… And of course he changed the lyrics; I can let you imagine."

Tonks chuckled and turned on his side; he kissed the top of her head.

"Are you planning on making us lose her tongues? The milk is almost boiling."

"That's because you're distracting me." He said and he turned off the heater.

"Sorry" she said and she stepped away. He put his hand on her hips and he saw her catching her breath. He was glad he still had so much effect on her. He made her step back a few times and he lifted up from her feet and made her sit on the counter.

"Think I won't distract you, here?" she said smiling.

"No, I don't think you'll never distract me. But I think it'll be better." He said smiling and he continued brewing his hot chocolates. He carefully did everything poured the milk in the three cups but they were way too hot to put the whipped cream so he decided to wait a bit. He turned to see Tonks who was gazing at him the most lovely and tenderly way.

He walked just in front of her and she slid her hands around his neck. She didn't say anything, she was just smiling at him and he put a long tender kiss on her forehead.

"Are you going to decorate your place?" She asked when he broke apart.

"I don't know. It's been a long time since I last had decorated it. Since…" _Since James and Lily's last Christmas_ he thought. "Since a very long time. But you could come once and decorate it with me."

"I don't want to intrude in your life Remus. If you don't want to do it, well don't. I didn't say it to force you to do it."

"Hey, if I asked you it's because I wanted to."

"You're sure?" she asked still doubting so he pressed his lips against hers and he felt her smile against his lips before she kissed him back.

"Yes I am." He whispered just against her lips.  
"Alright." She said after she kissed him quickly. "Now the drinks are gonna be cold." She said smiling.

He finished to put he whipped cream on top of the milk and levitate them to the living room.

Remus and Tonks sat in the sofa; they were both on each edge of it. Tonks had her legs folded on the couch, her feet touching Remus' leg. He looked at her smiling her, letting known how he had noticed and she gave a little push.

They all talked for a long time and Remus and Tonks ate dinner at Grimmauld Place with Sirius.

* * *

_Hey everyone! I hope you liked this one :) I wanted to change a bit so you don't get bored and I thought it'd be fun to see things through Sirius's point of view. Maybe I'll do it again, I thought of Molly too, but later on I think. _

_By the end of the week I think I'll write some Christmas's chapters._  
_Again, don't hesitate to review or send any requests for one-shot. :) _

_Have a good day. :)_


	26. As long as you love me so

_When we finally kiss goodnight. How I'll hate going out in the storm! But if you'll really hold me tight, all the way home I'll be warm._  
_And, my dear, we're still good-bying, but as long as you love me so: Let It Snow! _

* * *

There were more meetings and more shifts lately, which only means less time for Tonks and Remus. Snape had told Dumbledore that it was important to watch the department of mysteries a bit more since he had the impression that death eaters were getting closer. It was too late to find the death eaters; apparently they were all very well hidden now.

Tonks had told Sirius and Remus that the Ministry was sending her to crazy places were an old woman would have said she had spotted Sirius Black or one of the Death eaters. Sirius was surprised to learn he was on an island in the south of France sometimes.

It had been more than a week since he hadn't got the chance to see Tonks more than ten minutes after a meeting.

"Wotcher" she said when she came closer to him.

"Hello" he answered and she leaned against the wall. She looked at him smiling for a little moment. They were both silent but none of them seemed to mind.

"It's torture to see you at these meetings." She eventually spoke.

"I can leave if you prefer." Remus said looking at her mischievously.

"You wouldn't." She said and she bit her lip. If only he could kiss her, only a kiss, he wasn't asking for much.

"You're right." He said and he leaned a bit closer again, standing next to her, his shoulder almost against the wall. "It's been a long time we didn't have time together" He said in a quieter voice.

"Are you implying that you miss me?"

"I was waiting for you to help me decorate my apartment for Christmas." He said trying to control his grin.

"Alright, I'm sick of that shit. When are you free?" If there was one thing Remus liked about her it was how she swore and she was spontaneous.  
"Well, we're Monday, I have a shift on Wednesday, a mission Thursday night and there are a few days were I'm on mission or report for Dumbledore. It's quite busy this week."

"Luckily I asked you when you were _free. _Tell me they gave you your weekend, please." She said hopefully and he just grinned like an idiot.

"Yes. Except Saturday early afternoon, I have a report with Mad-Eye and Dumbledore. But then I'm all yours."

"Good for me. I'm working on Saturday morning too. I'll be a bit tired my shift is on Friday night."  
"Alright. So, my place?"  
"Perfect, what time?"

"It should be over by 4p.m. If we're late I'll send you a patronus."

"Alright. Perfect. This is gonna be such a long week." She said smiling.

"Indeed." He said and he very discreetly slid his fingers on her wrist down to her fingers and he crossed his with hers. She let a sigh, he quickly looked around, and everyone had left for the kitchen. Remus knew by experience that it wouldn't last so he took his occasion and put the fingers of his free hand under her chin and turned her head to look at him. She was already pressing her lips against his before he had time to move. He missed her more than words could say and right now a kiss was perfect to express all of this.

They broke apart and she was looking at him smiling, like she almost wanted to laugh.

"Maybe I miss you a little bit." He said just against her lips.

"_Maybe_" she said laughing; "just in case, I'll make sure you miss me." She whispered and she moved her lips to his jaw and left kisses down his neck. Remus was biting his lips while she kissed him; that would be a very long week.

"Not that I don't like… that… at all" Remus managed to say but let a heavy sigh and he continued "but maybe you don't want… Mad-eye to find…. you like this… I think he'd be… traumatized."

She stepped away and Remus regretted telling her to do so. And indeed, Moody came in the room not long after.

"Tonks, we need to talk about the mission."

"I know"

"So why haven't you come to talk to me?"

"Well anyway we're both here now"

"Tsss I wonder what make me let you work."

"We both know I'm the best" Tonks said and she winked at him. Remus was always impressed by the way she talked to him.

"Best my arse." Mad-Eye answered.

"Well, I'll go to the kitchen and let you two discuss." Remus said politely and walked out of the room and he heard Tonks's laugh as he walked.

It was time for Mad-Eye and Tonks to leave, they were all in the kitchen and Tonks insisted to say goodbye to everyone while Moody was rambling, already walking in the corridor. She hugged Sirius quickly.

"I'll try to come around." She told him smiling

"Who said I wanted you around?" He answered, trying to sound serious but he couldn't hide his smile.

"Oh I _know_ you do!" She answered and she stuck her tongue at him. Sirius shook his head smiling.

She hugged Remus.

"Goodbye Remus" she whispered in his ear.

"Goodbye Dora. See you in a few days." He felt her tighten her hold on him a few seconds before she let go of him.

* * *

Remus came back from his report with Mad-Eye. It was 3.30pm, and he was back at his place. He would spend the rest of the day with her and he really had looked forward it.

He realized he was crazy about her, he felt like he was 18 again, young and in love. He did feel young around her.

He waited a bit and soon enough he heard a knock on the door. He tried not to run to the door, and he laughed at how pathetic he was.

He opened the door and she threw herself in his arms, and kissed him full on the mouth.

"Missed me?" He said when they broke apart.

"A little." She said and laughed. She took off her coat and he put it on the coat hanger. She was looking at him smiling, and when he looked at her he realized she had hurt her forearm.

"What happened?" he asked, a bit concerned but tried to hide it.

"Oh nothing, a little fight on a mission with the ministry. It was so stupid; I had to go after a little criminal and that jerk tried to fight with me. I got him quite quickly but I ripped my arm against a wall even if I still wonder how I managed to do that."

"You, sit here. I'll clean it." He said, she was about to argue and opened her mouth but Remus raised his eyebrows and pointed the sofa.

"Alright." She mumbled and she did as he said. He came back with water, bandages, and a cleaning tissue.

He sat next to her and delicately put her forearm on his knees and started to clean the wounds, he could feel her gaze as he did and he realized it still made him nervous. He tried to forget and concentrated on her arm. He put the bandages on the wounds.

"Here" he said when he finished.

"Thank you but really it was nothing" she said and she leaned and kissed him. She kissed him very tenderly at first, the tip of her fingers were on his jaw. But then they kissed with more passion, her hands wandered on his chest and he put his hands on her waist, pulling her closer to him. She ended sitting on his lap, kissing him.  
They broke away a little, their faces still inches from each other. Her eyes still closed, he caressed her jaw with the tip of his nose.

"I have actually really missed you, Dora." He admitted in a whisper.

"If you thought you were hiding it well, I'm sorry to tell you that you totally, incredibly and utterly failed."

"Thanks for your support." He said, chuckling lightly

"You're welcome. Know me, always there for this." She said, laughing a little. "Weren't we supposed to decorate your place?" She said, looking at him, her forehead against him.

"Indeed."

"If you changed your mind you can tell me, you know." She said, raising an eyebrow at him. "I told you I don't want you to feel forced, or to think I intrude in your life."

"Nymphadora Tonks, there are a few reasons I want to decorate my house."

"Tell me" she said smiling

"First, it has been a very long time, and maybe it'd make this place look better."

"It's lovely here." She said quickly and Remus couldn't help but laugh a little.

"And, if it can make you come here more often, I will be happy to decorate this place." And as an answer Remus earned a small but tender kiss, he could feel her smile against his lips.

"I freaking love you" she said just against his mouth before she kissed him again.

After a moment they decided they would decorate his apartment. Remus searched for his old decorations in a cupboard and he had his old fake Christmas tree. At first, she said a real one was better but he explained that it was cheaper to buy one like this and at the time he really had no money and she didn't say anything but kissed him on the cheek.

She was looking in the box while he was trying to build the tree.

"Merlin! this one's creepy" she said laughing

"What are you talking about?" Remus asked raising an eyebrow at her, still holding the tree in his hands.

"This little Santa Claus! Look!" She said, showing him a little Santa Claus to hand on the tree. He came closer and looked more carefully at it. He looked like an old Santa Claus but it was true that his look had something creepy in it.

"You know that, Lily Potter had said the very same remark if I remember well." He said smiling at the memory; Tonks was looking at him, waiting for him to continue.

"At the end of the year we'd spend Christmas eve at one of us, Christmas at another and New Year's eve at the other, only Peter… was still living at his parents' and well, we've never been there. So it was Sirius, James and Lily, and me. And one day, they were at mine, I think it was for Christmas Eve. Lily was looking at my Christmas tree; Sirius and James had helped me to decorate it- she took the little Santa Claus and made the same remark. If I remember well, Sirius said it was what gave him some style and James said that the remark she had said was something only a girl would say; she remembered him that she was a girl and that he had married her." Remus laughed lightly at the memory.

Tonks was looking at him smiling, and as he looked at her he felt so loved. He wondered if Tonks and he were looking like James and Lily at that time. He slid his arms around her waist and rested his head on her shoulder.

She let her head fall on his and they stayed like this, silent for a little moment. He was just enjoying having her in his arms.

"I'm glad you're here." He eventually said. She turned to look at him and left a kiss on his cheek.

"Let's decorate this tree." She said smiling and, he kissed her on the cheek.

They were both decorating the tree, laughing, talking lightly. They were both in a very good mood and for once they hadn't spoken of the order or her job at the ministry yet. Remus didn't want to ask either, because first, he was having a really good time and then he doubted she wanted to talk about it.

She was making fun of him when they were choosing where to put some decorations, she kept telling him that really she didn't how he managed to make his house so lovely because sometimes he had real weird ideas. _That_ was another thing Remus really liked about her; she never hesitated to speak to him frankly.

"Weird ideas! It's not weird to put a little Christmas sleigh on the door."

"You put the Christmas wreath on the door!" She said laughing. Remus didn't answer, he hadn't thought of it.

"Ha!" She said laughing, proving she was right. "Alright, I have an idea. May I?" She asked as she reached for the little sleigh. She stuck it on the Christmas wreath and she put it on the door.

"How do you like it?" She asked smiling.

"Very much." He said and he kissed her on the cheek. She turned to look at him, put lightly her fingers on his cheeks and kissed him. Then she slid her arms around his neck, still kissing him tenderly but a bit more passionately so he put his hands on her hips and got her closer to him. He lifted her up from the floor and made her whirling and she smiled against his lips. He was still holding her and she was laughing, her nose in his hair.

"Let's dance!" she said laughing.

"What? Dance? ... What?" Remus asked confused and a bit scared at the idea of dancing.

"Yeah. Put some music on and let's dance." She said like it was obvious, Remus was just looking at her still surprised. She walked to his music station and they choose a song. Surprisingly, she wanted a quiet song.

"So, actually I asked to dance but I have no idea how to." She said smiling, and she seemed shy.

"Alright, well I haven't dance since Hogwarts, or maybe James and Lily's wedding so.." Remus said awkwardly. He took his left hand, and put her other hand on his shoulder then he put his hand on the small of her back. They started making a step, then two and it was easier than they both had thought.

Tonks kept looking at her feet, apparently scared to step on his.

"Look at me" He whispered in her ear.

"I'll step on you if I don't look." She said blushing.

"You won't and even if you do, I don't care you put off your boots an hour ago, I'm safe." He said, laughing lightly.

"Alright. You asked for it, remember." She said laughing.

He made her twirl; she was turning on her feet, laughing lightly and came back to him. They did that a few times, sometimes she came back, turning her back to him and he'd let a kiss on her cheek before she'd turn again. And after a few songs, she rested her on his chest. He kissed her fingers and gently stroked her back with his thumb as they dance. Even if it didn't look like a dance anymore - they were just moving their feet a little until their feet weren't moving anymore. He put his hands under her shirt and stroked her back, tracing patterns with his fingers.

"You're very…" She started but she was searching for her word and Remus wondered what she had in mind. "demonstrative. Yeah, demonstrative." At that moment, he slid off his hands from her back.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean… I wasn't thinking-" he apologized but she cut him quickly.

"I wasn't complaining so put back your hands where they were." She said in almost an authoritative way but her smile was betraying her.

He put his hands under her shirts, feeling her soft skin and stroked her back gently. She cuddled up closer to him and he held her even tighter. She left a heavy sigh and Remus couldn't help but laugh lightly.

"You still have the star to put on the top of the tree." She said smiling.

"Why don't you do it?"

"Because it's your Christmas tree, in your house."

"But _you_ decorated it." He said quietly.

"Anyway, I'm too short to do it." She said, looking up at him. They broke apart and he took the red star and put it on top of the tree. She was still holding him, her arms around his waist.

"I thought that we could spend the evening at Grimmauld Place, Sirius's been lonely too and it's been quite a long time he hadn't seen Harry. He misses him."

"That's a great idea. We could bring food. Like, real food." She said laughing.

"Yeah, I think that would be great." He answered.

"And then…" She said, smiling mischievously at him, biting her lips not to smile too much.

"Then I could take you home, or…" He stopped his sentence purposefully looking at him dying to ask her.

"Or?" She asked her voice a bit high pitched.

"Or you could come back here with me and we'd have our night and tomorrow together, if you're free tomorrow."

"Of course I am."

"What do you want to do now?" He asked smiling.

"I think I have an idea" she said smiling, and she sat on the couch, or threw herself would be more accurate. He sat next to her, and she put her legs on his. She first kissed his cheek but his lips found hers. They spent hours sitting on this couch, just kissing like two teens in love or talking. He even read aloud for her. And during these hours, they had both forgot that there was a war going on.

It was 7p.m and they decided it was time to leave. He helped her put her coat, and her scarf; she even had a purple tassel hat.

"You look lovely" He told her and he was glad she blushed because for him it meant he still had some effects on her.

"Thanks" she said in a very low voice and he leaned to kiss her. She put the tip of her fingers on his neck, her thumbs on his jaw

"You're quite handsome yourself." She said against his lips.

"Thanks, beautiful." he whispered before he kissed her again.

* * *

_Hey, hope you like it :) I think I'll update tomorrow. _

_Merry Christmas everyone - Christmas eve tomorrow *.* - _

**Don't hesitate to review or ask for one shot. :)**


	27. It's not pizza love

_"Of course not. When I say I love pizza, I'm just saying that I enjoy eating pizza until I don't want any more pizza. [...] It gets confusing when people start talking about love, and especially about loving you. Which way do these people love you? [...] Next time someone looks deeply into your eyes and says 'I love you', look very deeply right back and say, 'Would that be pizza love, or the real thing?'" _Mary Beth Bonacci

* * *

Remus and Tonks decided to buy food before heading for Grimmauld Place. Tonks insisted on taking a pizza in her favourite place, so Remus followed since, anyway, he had no idea.

They entered the little pizzeria and the owner recognized Tonks as she entered.

"Miss Tonks, hello." He said smiling. He was a young men, a bit older than she was but not as old as Remus. He had dark hair, he was a bit tanned and he was wearing special clothes for his work, a black shirt, black trousers and a white apron. "Same as usual?" he added quickly.

"Yes but the big size, not the individual." Tonks answered smiling. The man was looking at her while he was speaking but then he looked at Remus, probably for the first time. He was staring at him, or his scars, would be more accurate. Remus sometime forgot that he had scars on his face, he had learned to live with them and surprisingly enough Tonks made him forget that he had scars all over his face.

"Alright." He said and he started cooking the pizza a few steps away from them since the kitchen wasn't hidden. Remus was still looking at him, he always felt awkward when someone looked at him this way. It reminded him of what he was. Tonks was looking at him, she must have realized that Remus was feeling embarrassed so Remus tried to lighten the atmosphere.

"You come here often?" Remus asked quietly.

"Well, yes. You know how much I love cooking." She said laughing lightly.

"I can't say I'm surprised." Remus said amused and she stuck her tongue at him.

"We'll take a desert, there's a little shop not far from here."

"Alright." Remus answered and she leaned against him. He put his arm around her shoulder and kissed her temple. They waited a few minutes; none of them seemed to care how long they were waiting.

The pizza was ready, Tonks insisted on paying the pizza but Remus didn't want her to pay. Anyway, he didn't have enough muggle money so they both paid it. He told her they didn't need any desert but again, she insisted.

As they left the pizzeria, Tonks stopped him on the street. He was holding the pizza box in his hand and Tonks stepped closer to him on his other side. She tiptoed and kissed him on the cheek.

"You have a very beautiful face." She said just after she kissed him.

He put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close to him and kissed her hair as a response. Merlin! She knew him well.

Tonks had insisted they brought desert and Remus's favourite desert, a chocolate cake, but she chose the one with strawberries in the middle.

As soon as they had opened to door of Grimmauld Place, Tonks started walking happily through the corridor and had forgotten the umbrella stand. Remus put his hand around her waist to catch her.

"Always there, uh?" she asked smiling

"Always." He said, and kissed her on the temple.

They walked to the kitchen, put all the food on the table and walked in the living room where they found Sirius.

"Wotcher Sirius!" She almost shouted.

"Hello Tonks _and_ Remus."

"Hello Padfoot." Remus said as he put off his coat.

"We brought food, we thought a good dinner would do us good."

"You came together?"

"Yes. We both wanted to cheer you up a little." Remus said, trying to avoid any questions about why they had come together.

"Alright." Sirius said, but Remus knew by the look in his eyes that this was not over. "What did you bring?"

"A pizza and a chocolate cake." Tonks answered.

"I'm sure Remus chose the cake." Sirius said rolling his eyes.

"Actually, I did." Tonks said smiling.

"You did?"

"Yeah, why?" She answered not really understanding his point.

"Nothing. Let's eat!" Sirius said.

"Where? In the living room? Or in the kitchen?"

"Not the kitchen, Kreacher's there."

"Alright, I'll come back with the plates."

"Please Remus, help her, I don't want her to make everything fall on the ground."

Tonks shot him a death glare and Remus walked to the kitchen. She followed him and took the plates out of the cupboards. They took everything they needed and Remus put a heating charm the pizza. Tonks was standing just next to him, looking at him smiling that sweet smile he loved. She tiptoed and kissed him on the cheek.

"What have I done?" Remus asked laughing lightly.

"Nothing. You don't have to do anything to deserve one."

"Well, you looked at me like when I do something you're glad I've done."

"Really? I didn't even know I had that kind of look." She answered.

"Now you know." He told her as he put the pizza box on the plates to get everything in the living room.

He leaned closer to her and kissed her on the temple.

"Have I done something special?" she asked smiling

"No." he told her smiling and he saw her starting to blush.

They walked back to the living room and ate, speaking of the Order, Harry and the Daily Prophet but also about Muggle foods and other lighter subjects. They had spoken for hours actually, but Sirius started yawning and so Remus and Tonks decided to let him sleep and leave.

* * *

As they got back to his place, Tonks put off her coat and so did Remus. They put off their shoes and Remus realized his house looked great when both their coats and shoes were next to one another.

"Only a m-m-minute, but it's so c-c-cold outsi-i-ide." She said her arms folded and striking them.

Remus walked behind her and put his arms around her, striking her arms but soon enough she turned on her feet and rested her head on his chest.

"Go sit, I'll make you a hot chocolate, that'll warm you up." He told her quietly.

She walked to his couch and threw herself on it. He came back a few minutes later with two hot chocolates and he sat just next to her. Remus's mind was somewhere else, he was thinking about Sirius. He had tried to act like he was fine all evening but his eyes had seemed lost somewhere else.

"You alright?" Tonks said, putting a hand on his knee;

"Yeah, fine." Remus answered, sitting straight in the couch.

"Go on tell me." She said smiling sadly.

"It's nothing." He said but she raised an eyebrow at him. "Alright, it's Sirius." He started. "I think it's my fault. He went to Azkaban, 12 years, I shouldn't have believed that he betrayed James and Lily. I should have tried to find proof before, and not wait for him to escape."

"Remus, this is not your fault. Pettigrew made his plan right, that bastard put proof everywhere. You couldn't have thought your other best friend betrayed all of you. You're human Remus, you can't control everything." She said calmly.

"But Sirius was my best friend, I should have known it wasn't him."

"Sirius is not mad at you, he doesn't resent you anything. You don't have to feel bad. I understand that you do, I start understanding you now, you see?" She said smiling a bit "But you can't control everything, it's not your fault."

She moved closer to him, and stroke his hair gently.

"You're making yourself grey hair." She said smiling, she was mocking him.

"I already have some if you hadn't noticed. You can still run away if you like."

"It's because you know it's sexy so you make yourself new ones, uh?" She said, chuckling lightly.

"You got me." He said and smiled. She was good at it, making him smile when alone he would have been moping all night long.

She leaned closer and kissed his hair, he put his hand on her cheek, slightly caressing her jaw. He kissed her lips tenderly. Her lips were soft against his and quickly; her hand was in his hair.

"But it was a good night." Tonks said when they were both in the couch; Remus was tracing patterns on the back of her hand while she was doing the same on his leg.

"Indeed. I believe the pizza man has a crush on you." Remus said smiling. He was smiling because Tonks was with him right now, she was his woman.

"No!" She shouted laughing.

"Haven't you seen how disappointed he was when I entered with you?" Remus added and Tonks laughed even more "or maybe he didn't understand why you'd be with a man like me."

"I'm very lucky, actually." She said and took his hand in hers and led it to her lips, leaving a kiss on his fingers.

"Anyway, I'll be worried if I see too many pizza boxes in your trash can." Remus said smiling.

Tonks put a quick kiss on his lips before saying "I'm sorry to say you won't get rid of me so easily."

"Lucky me." He said and she kissed him again.

They stayed in the couch a little moment but then Remus noticed that she was falling asleep on him.

"Let's go to bed, Dora." He said quietly.

"Alright" she mumbled, she was about to get up but Remus put his hand under her knees and held her against his chest. She put her arm around his neck and buried her head in his neck.

He put her on the bed and she looked at him sleepily but smiling.

"I need to change." She said laughing lightly, her laugh was different, a bit higher pitched maybe because of the tiredness but it was really funny.

"Do you want me to help you change?" He said laughing

"I think I can do it by myself." She said still smiling. She sat on the bed and looked up at him "Can I borrow you a t shirt?"

"Of course. I don't think I have many colors."

"Right now, I don't even care."  
"You must be _very_ tired." He said laughing and started to put off his clothes too. She did the same and only wore his t shirt and her knickers. And he only wore a shirt and his underpants. They slid themselves under the sheets and he looked at her smiling.

"What?" she asked and bit her lips trying not to smile as she was waiting for his answer.

"I realized you never took your little white fluffy wolf here." He said and couldn't help but let out a laugh at the end. She slapped his arm, but didn't intend to hurt him.

"It's because I have my own here." She said laughing and threw her arms around his neck, kissing him smiling.

He held her tight against his chest for a moment and then she rolled next to him, resting her head on his chest.

"So, tomorrow we have the day to ourselves?" She asked smiling.

"If you don't sleep half the day, yes." He said, striking her hair.

"Shut up" She said laughing.

"Goodnight Dora" He said and kissed her hair.

"Goodnight, big wolf." She said laughing at her own joke. Remus liked how she could joke about his lycanthropy and he would even laugh with her. She moved onto him and kissed him, very tenderly at first and a bit more passionately after, until he moved her delicately her back to the mattress and kissed her cheek, her lips quickly again and her nose. Then he let his arm around her and they fell asleep.

* * *

He woke up, she was still in his arms; though they had moved maybe that was what true love was. He was looking at her, and he realized he liked everything about her.

Her short bright pink hair, falling on her eyes as she slept; they were soft and always smelled good: a scent of strawberry and fresh air in winter. He loved her face, her reddish pink lips and her little nose. He loved her neck, how her collarbone could be visible sometimes. Her hand was pulling up her t shirt, and Remus could see her belly, it wasn't completely flat, she was healthy and he liked that. He liked her hips and her legs. Her legs, just like her stomach were healthy, she had sexy legs actually. And he loved her feet, even if she didn't.

"Remus" she mumbled as she opened her eyes.

"Good morning Dora." He said smiling mischievously.

"How long have you been looking at me?" She asked laughing lightly, her voice a bit hoarse.

"Hmm… Not enough. I could look at you forever." He answered and kissed her forehead.

"Please don't, I don't want you to notice every little bad things." She said smiling.

"I love everything I see." He said and he left kisses on her face: her forehead, her temple, her cheeks, her nose and her lips. She moved her hand to his hair and his hands moved to her hips, pulling her closer to him. It took them a long time to leave their bed.

* * *

_Hey everyone! I'm so sorry I couldn't update sooner, I was so busy. I hope you spend a good Christmas day - or whatever you're celebrating, as long as it was nice :) _  
_I'll try and update soon I still have 2 weeks of holidays I should have time. I'm really sorry._

**Don't hesitate to review or ask for one-shot :) **


	28. All I want for Christmas

**IMPORTANT : I updated just yesterday, are you sure you've read the last chapter? Good reading xx**_  
_

* * *

_I don't want a lot for Christmas. There is just one thing I need, I don't care about the presents underneath the Christmas tree. I just want you for my own, more than you could ever know. Make my wish come true. All I want for Christmas is you._

* * *

It was a late evening when Remus wanted to check old death eaters' files when someone knocked on his door quite urgently.

Remus, a bit surprised took his wand in his hand and walked to the door. He opened carefully and noticed pink hair.

"Hey-" He started but she cut him quickly.

"Arthur's been attacked at the ministry. I have to go there to search for what attacked him. Well, I have to wait to be called officially so they don't suspect me."

"_What_ attacked him?" Remus asked surprised, trying to make his brain go fast to take all the informations.

"A snake. Harry saw him, he had a vision or something and he told Dumbledore, Dumbledore told Mad-Eye and he found him. Mad-Eye sent me a patronus, told me to wait before he had the official order to call me, so I should go in 5 minutes I think, 4 maybe. I told him I'd go tell you first."

"Thanks. Is there anything I can do?"

"No, I don't think so. It would be dangerous to make you enter the ministry. Dumbledore's with the kids for the moment, they'll get them to Grimmauld Place I've been told. You could go see Dumbledore maybe, he'll tell you what to do."

"Alright, that's what I'll do."

"I should go now. Mad-Eye told me to take my time but no doubt he'll shout at me, uh?" She said trying to smile, but it did not reach her eyes.

"Hey, Dora." He said, reaching for her hand before she walked away.

"Yes, Remus?" She asked as her eyebrows rose. She was professional; it was the Auror in front of him. She was concentrated but a bit scared, he thought. Everyone was. It could have been her. Bloody hell, it could have been her.

"Be safe." He said and he stepped closer to kiss her forehead. She seemed startled for a few seconds, but then she threw her arms around his neck.

"Always am. Constant vigilance!" She said in his ear and then she whispered "be safe too" and she moved her forehead in front of his and pressed her lips against his and she left. So that would be like that? One day, one of them would say goodbye and not come back. Better him than her, he thought.

* * *

Days went fast after Arthur's attack and Tonks and Remus couldn't see each other much. It was part of the duty he thought, but he didn't make him miss her less. And every night he knew it was her shift he couldn't help but worry for her, hoping he wouldn't get owl or see any patronus sending bad news. They didn't get to see each other a lot, they sent patronus and owl to each other from time to times.

There had been other meetings, and every time Remus didn't get the chance to talk to her, he or she would have their shift the same night. So, one day, after a meeting, when none of them seemed to go early, Remus went to talk to her.

"Do you have a shift tonight?"

"Not tonight, I had one last night."

"Would you come home with me tonight?" He asked her, without thinking before he spoke. Maybe that was things you shouldn't ask; maybe if she wanted to go with him she would have asked.

"Yes!" She almost shouted and Remus let out a sigh. He hadn't realized he was holding his breath.

"Great." He just said and she was looking at him smiling.

"But I work tomorrow, I'll leave early and I might wake you up." She said pursing her lips to one side.

"It's alright, if you don't mind. Maybe you want to sleep at your apartment-" He started.

"Oh no, no, no." She said as she put her hand on his arm.

"I miss you." He told her as he shook his head.

"What are you doing for Christmas?" She asked "It's in 4 days."

"4 days? Well I don't think I have any order duty and full moon." As Remus answered he realized he was quite lucky not to have the full moon, and Dumbledore had said that Christmas should be a day of rest for everyone.

"Do you want to spend Christmas with me?" She asked smiling.

"I'd love too."

Everyone started to leave and so they followed everyone, saying a quick goodbye to Sirius and the kids before they left. Remus and Tonks were the one who'd have to go back to Hogwarts with them so they would see them soon enough.

They were alone, in front of the front door.

"Do you want to sleep at your place, maybe? It could be easier for you."

"Oh, if you don't mind, I like your place. It'd change me a little." She said quietly and Remus realized how tired she was. She closed her eyes a few seconds sometimes, like she needed to focus again, and she had circles under her eyes. Though he still found her beautiful, he wished she didn't have to go through all of this.

"Alright, we'll stop at your place, get a few clothes and we'll go back to mine, alright?"

"That's a good plan." She answered and they say as he did.

When they entered his house he took her coat, scarf and hat and put it on the coat hanger. As he did he heard her yawn loudly; usually it would have made him laugh or smile but tonight he knew how tired she was. How exhausting this last weeks must have been. She had had to search for the snake in the ministry all night after Arthur's attack and then she had to work again. She had more order duty than before, they all had but she had her job at the ministry.

"I'm sorry; it was selfish of me to ask you to come home with me tonight."

"Selfish? Please, keep being selfish." She said smiling. "Remus, I wanted to come back to your place almost every time I walked back from work."

"You can, if you want. As long as it's not the full moon, and well if I'm not on order duty because well, there will be nothing to do. I'll show the charms I put on the door." After he finished, she walked to him and threw her arms around his neck.

"Thank you Remus." She said, he lifted her feet up from the floor and walked to his room, he heard her laugh lightly in his ear.

They put their pyjamas on and slid themselves in the sheets. When they eventually were under the cover it was like they found each other again, after all these days. As if, under this covers, there was not almost a war at their door, like nothing else existed. It was just the two of them.

These last days were different from last time; they had not only missed each other: they had worried for each other and Remus realized that worrying for someone you really care about was exhausting.

He stroked her cheek with the back of his fingers; at his touch she let out a sigh and smiled. He moved his hand to her hair, and stroked her hair gently. He moved closer and kissed her forehead, then her nose and eventually her lips. Their kiss was tender, and full of love. He felt her hand on his neck, sliding to his chest and resting there while he put his hand on her hair. They did not need to say how much they had missed each other, or how much they loved each other: this kiss was speaking for them. Then, Remus held her in his arms and let a kiss in her hair. "Goodnight" he whispered and she whispered the same word, only half conscious already.

They fell asleep quite quickly but when her alarm rang because she had to wake up for work, he awoke too even though she had managed to turn it off quickly.

"No, go back to sleep Remus." She said.

"I'll prepare you breakfast." He said, like she hadn't said anything at all.

"Remus, it's 6am, sleep." She said and kissed his hair. But Remus got up anyway and walked to the kitchen, preparing her breakfast while she dressed. After a little moment, she walked in the kitchen too.

"Seriously Remus, you didn't have to do that. I would have found my way in your kitchen." She said rubbing her eyes.

"I know." He just answered and he put her bowl on the table. She walked to him and he kissed her forehead. She wrapped her arms around his waist and he stroked her hair and her back gently and Remus thought that he could do that every morning.

He sat at the table and she started eating her cereals while Remus drank his cup of coffee. Too soon, she had to leave for work, she put her shoes on; Remus helped her putting on her green coat, her brown scarf and her purple hat. She looked beautiful in all those colors; colors suited her.

They were at his door, she didn't want to leave and he didn't want her to leave neither. They kissed before she walked away and he knew he'd had to wait for the 24th to see her again.

* * *

The next day, Remus left Kingsley for a report in in the end of the afternoon, and luckily enough, the stores were still opened. Remus had seen what he wanted to buy her and he hoped what he wanted to buy her was still there. He entered a wizard store that sold muggle clothes and walked in it. He felt a bit awkward since it only sold clothes for women and a seller woman came to him.

"Do you need help, sir?"

"No, thank you." He answered, he knew what he wanted and he had checked her size on one of her clothes in the morning one time when she had come to his place. The woman looked startled for a moment but Remus didn't like that much asking help in a store and he'd rather search for what he wanted alone without someone telling him to buy something else.

He walked a bit, and he saw a dress he had already seen in showcase the last week. He looked at it more closely, it was green and – as he looked he saw another dress. A blue one, it was a zaffre blue ¾ sleeves top with a round neck linked with a navy blue tutu skirt with a grey lining just a bit visible. It was quite simple in itself, and very lovely. Remus could picture Tonks in it very easily; it would suit her.

He searched for her size, and was very glad to find it and went to buy it.

"You found what you wanted, sir?"

"Yes."

"I advise you the high heels that would be perfect with this dress."

"No, I don't think I'll buy them."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, she doesn't really wear high heels." Remus thought of all her boots, or her sneakers, and some of her derby shoes she wore on special occasion. Remus would have loved to buy her another pair of derby shoes but he knew he couldn't afford to buy her the dress and the shoes. And right now, the dress was perfect. Maybe when he'd have a bit more money he would buy her the shoes. Why couldn't he have a job, a normal job that he would keep just like everyone?

"Alright, sir. A gift package?"

"If it's a box, yes."

"Yes we have boxes." The woman folded the dress and put it in a light pink paper and put all of it in the box. She took a light pink tape and put tied it around the box and made a nice bow.

Remus knew he still had a little thing to hide in the box.

* * *

On the 24th, Tonks came around 7pm, she did not knock. Well, she did but only after she had opened the door.

"Remus?" She said, the door half opened;

"Dora." He said walking towards her, and she closed the door "how are you?" he asked smiling, helping her with her coat.

"Fine, my parents were quite nice today. My mum only asked me twice if I couldn't wear normal hair and called me twice "Nymphadora" that's a good afternoon."

"I'm glad you spend a good time. You could have spent more time with them if you wanted, you know."

"I like spending time with my parents, but now, it's Christmas and it's you and me." She said smiling and she tiptoed to press her lips against his.

"You want me to leave maybe?" She asked raising an eyebrow at him and she kissed his jaw slowly.

"Not in the slightest way." He said and he placed his hands on her cheeks and kissed her on the lips. He pushed her against the door, his lips never leaving hers. She put her arms around his neck pulling him closer to him. They broke apart, breathing heavily and laughed when they looked at each other.

"I've made dinner for you." He said smiling proudly.

"Thank you!" She said smiling, sighting at the kitchen behind him.

They ate dinner, and tried not to speak too much of work. That day, it was Christmas and they wouldn't spend it like it was an order. They spoke about it in the beginning and then they agreed on speaking about something else.

Tonks insisted they exchange gifts in the morning so they spend the evening cuddling, reading, laughing, drinking and eating. A real Christmas eve.

The next morning, Tonks seemed happy and so was Remus. She woke him up kissing his cheek and his neck. What a good way to wake up, he thought.

"Merry Christmas, Remus."

"Merry Christmas" he answered mumbling, his voice hoarse because of the morning.

"Presents time! Open yours!" She said joyfully, the package was already on the bed. So they exchanged gifts still in pyjamas.

"Merry Christmas, Dora." He said handing her the grey box he had hidden in his bed stand.

He looked at her opening the box but she looked up when she noticed he was staring.

"Open yours!" She said smiling.

So he opened his at the same time, there was a chocolate bar on top and he laughed, he had done the same. They looked at each other laughing, and checking if they had put the very same and yes they had.

"I think I have a very bad influence on you, Dora." He said still laughing and she stepped closer to kiss him.

"I like that very much." She said against his lips.

He took the rest of his gift in his hand, a dark grey woollen sweater, classy but not too much and it seemed very comfortable; Remus loved it. She had the dress in her hand, and if he judged by her eyes he'd say she liked it.

"It's wonderful, Remus!" She said still looking at the dress.

"You like it?"

"I love it! Thank you!" She said and she put the dress on the bed and threw her arms around him, making him fall on his back and kissed him on the lips, on his cheeks and everywhere on his face.

"You love yours?" She said between two kisses.

"Of course! Thank you very much, Dora."

"Do you mind if we stay in bed a little?" She asked, sitting on him. He moved a little, his back against the pillow and she cuddled up to him.

"Not at all." He said and he put his arm on the small of her back, striking her skin with his thumb. With his other hand, he caressed her face, and placed his hand on her cheek, caressing her cheekbone. Then he stroked her hair gently; she moved to look up at him suddenly and at first he thought she'd had something to say but no, she just kissed his cheek and put her head back on his shoulder, holding his forearm as he stroked her hair.

They spent a calm Christmas day, most of the day in the couch, except when they walked outside in the cold, in a muggle street. So far, it was Remus's best Christmas day.

* * *

_Hey everyone! I hope you like it. :) I hope I wasn't too far from the book. What do you think of their relation? I don't want to make it boring!_

_Have a good day/night :) _


	29. A lovely New Year

_"Romance is when two people are walking next to each other and all of a sudden they find themselves holding hands, and they don't know how that happened." _John C Moffi.

* * *

It was the 31th of December; Remus was coming back from a meeting with someone who had information for the Order. Tonks had told him that she would come that night but he didn't know when she would and he hadn't seen her since Christmas.

He opened the little gate and walked down the little path it was already dark outside and he was glad the clouds were hiding the moon. He opened the door and the moment he walked in the little hall he saw lights coming from the kitchen. _Constant Vigilance_, Remus drew out his wand and walked in; he hadn't taken off his coat yet; he carefully walked to the kitchen and then he saw his favourite colour: pink. Tonks was in this kitchen, fighting with a spoon and a large bowl.

"Remus!" She said when she caught a glimpse of him. She ran towards him and he put his hands on her waist, lifting her up from the floor. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he heard her laugh. He let her slid through his hands and she wrapped her legs around his waist, she placed her hands on his cheeks and pressed her lips against his.

"Hello, Dora. Nice surprise." He said when they broke apart; he was looking at her, she was smiling widely at him.

"I'm glad you don't want to throw me out." She said laughing and she put her feet back on the floor. Remus shook his head and kissed her head.

"I wanted to make dinner for you but I came late from work and actually, you know I suck at cooking, uh? So I bought food but I tried to make the desert."

"You don't have to do that, you know." He said looking at the kitchen table, full of flour and sugar. He was glad she wanted to do that but he felt guilty.

"You made dinner for me on Christmas Eve: My turn!" She said still smiling; she was in a very good mood and it could only make Remus in the very same mood.

"You're amazing, you know that?" He said as he walked to the kitchen table.

"I'll remember it." She said proudly but when he turned to look at her he saw that she was blushing.

Remus took a bit of the cake dough on the tip of his finger and put it in his mouth.

"Hmm good!" He said.

"Yeah but not finished." She said and she took the bowl in her hands.

"Please." He said, trying to use his nicest tone.

"No." She said firmly. So Remus stepped closer to her and slid his hand on her waist, he placed himself just behind her and started to brush his lips against her neck.

"Please" he whispered.

"No." she said a bit less firmly. "You can't corrupt me."

"We'll see about that." He said and he left kissed on her neck and he made her turn to face him. She was biting her lips. He leaned closer; she had closed her eyes as he caressed her collarbone with his fingers. With his other hand, he took some cake dough and put it on the top of her nose.

"See?" He said laughing.

"You!" She said trying to sound angry but she failed at hiding her smile. He kissed her and she didn't push him back, on the contrary. He slid his hands on her thighs and he held her against him and made her sit on the counter. She was kissing him fiercely, her hands making their way through his hair.

"There's food…" she said as he kissed her neck "around us… maybe…. We should... move."

"We've never done it on the couch, have we?" he said looking up at her quickly before kissing her again.

"No, not really." She managed to say against his lips.

"Good." He said, slid his hands on her thighs, indicating her to hold him tight and he moved to walked to the couch, his lips never leaving hers.

* * *

They were putting their clothes on again; she was wearing the dress he had bought her, she had just put her tights on.

"You're beautiful." He said looking at her. Indeed, she really was, the dress suited her perfectly. She sat on his lap and laughed at how the dress made it look like a princess's dress. Well, in her case, a warrior princess dress.

She put her hand on his cheek, her thumb caressing his cheekbone and she kissed his other cheek.

"You're very handsome yourself." She said and it seemed like her smile was stuck to her lips.

Remus couldn't help but laugh. Sometimes he wondered how a beautiful woman like her could be with him; his face was full of scars, he was old and there she was so lively, her bright pink hair was bringing out her eyes very well. She slid her arms around his neck and hugged him tight; he stroked her back and just breathed the scent of her hair.

After a few minutes, they got up and moved to the kitchen.

"I got to finish the cake." She said as she looked at her recipe book. Remus put on his sweater she had got him for Christmas.

"I'll help you." He said and they cooked the cake even if Remus was more distracting her than helping her. When they eventually put the cake in the oven Tonks turned to face him, trying not to smile even though her eyes were smiling for her.

"You're worse than a 6 years old kid!" She said.

"Am I?" He asked smiling mischievously at her.

"Yes you are. When you said "I'll help you" I actually thought you'd help. Eating the cake dough and the chocolate is not helping."

"Oh, it isn't?" He asked taking a step closer to her.

"No it's not." She said, her eyes never leaving his. He leaned to kiss her and she slid under his arms and stepped away from him. "No!" She said laughing.

"What?"

"I'm not kissing you." She said trying not to laugh.

"What, like… I'm punished?" He said raising an eyebrow.

"Exactly." She said and she seemed proud of her idea.

"And you're not gonna miss that?"

"I can live without this for a little time." She said like it was obvious but she seemed to think about what he had said.

"You think?" He said and he walked closer to her.

"You're not that indispensable." She said laughing.

"Oh thank you. Really, that's really nice." He said and walked away from her pretending to be hurt.

She ran towards him and hugged him tight by behind.

"Awww poor Remus darling."

He turned towards her and stroked her hair before he kissed her. He felt her smiling against his lips.

"You may be a little indispensable." She said just against his lips

"_a little_" he repeated.

"You should be happy I said it." She said and she stepped away and casted a spell on the food to warm it. They ate their dinner and Tonks had chosen good food actually, muggle food again.

During the dinner an owl came, it was from the Weasley.

_Dear Remus,_

_I would like you to come for lunch tomorrow for the first day of the New Year. If you don't have anything planned of course. I would invite some people of the order, the kids like having you around but they won't admit it._

_By the way, if you can come, could you ask Tonks if she want to come? Ginny would love to have her with us. (I have other people to invite so that would help me if you invited her.)_

_Molly. _

Remus read aloud and Tonks looked at him surprised.

"Do you think she knew I was here?" She asked an eyebrow risen.

"I don't think so. She just knows we're friends and _of course_ you wouldn't say no to anything coming from me."

"You wish, Remus." She said shaking her head. He liked that she still joked with him, she could still make fun of him.

"I have means to make you flinch." He said and he kissed the top of her head.

"That's not true. I'm an Auror."

"Do I need to remind you what I did with the cake dough?"

"Alright. I admit: perhaps you may have means sometimes."

"Merlin's beard. The black pride."

"That's also the Tonks' pride." She said proudly.

"From the two families. I'm very lucky." He said laughing.

"Hey!" She said throwing him her napkin in the face but he caught it. And he walked towards her, put it back on her knees and he kissed her.

Then she turned the muggle television on and they danced on the music since they was a special show with only music. They danced for a long time, laughing and he made her twirl on her feet and she jumped everywhere. Eventually, Remus sat on the couch and looked at her dancing on a disco song. She sat next to him and put her legs on his lap.

"Tired?" She asked but it didn't really sound like a question actually. "The full moon was two night ago, uh?"

"Yes. I'm sorry, keep dancing, I'll dance again with you don't worry." He said as he paced his hand in her hair.

"No I have to admit I'm a bit tired too. I danced a bit too enthusiastically I think." She said laughing.

Remus laughed and leaned to kiss her temple.

"I love watching you dancing."

"And dancing with me?"

"Well, the dance and me… let's say we're not very friend." He said laughing.

"You dance very well." She said smiling trying to reassure him.

"You really like me." He said nodding his head.

"I really love you, you mean?" She said and she jumped to kiss him, surprising him.

"It's 11:55, Remus." She said looking up at the clock but she was still laying on him.

"Well, how do you want to start 1996?"

"I may have an idea." She said her lips getting closer to his lips. He slid his hands under her dress and they kissed for quite a long time. So far, it was also the best next year's eve he ever spent.

* * *

_Hey everyone, I know it's short. The next chapter will come soon but I wanted to post something for New Year's Eve :) _

_So I wish you a good evening and night; whether you're partying or blogging till daylight!_

Don't hesitate to review :) - by the way **THANK YOU VERY MUCH TO THE PEOPLE WHO REVIEWED. It's always really nice! And thank you to the people who read every new chapter. Thank you; you're making me really happy. :) **


	30. The first day of the year

_"It's often just enough to be with someone. I don't need to touch them. Not even talk. A feeling passes between you both. You're not alone." Marilyn Monroe._

* * *

_Tonks' point of view._

It was the first day of the year and it couldn't have started a better way. She woke up in Remus's arms; that really was something she loved: she always woke up in his arms.

When she opened her eyes she could see him smiling at her already.

"Hello Dora."

"Wotcher Remus." She said smiling back at him. He leaned to kiss her on the forehead; sure he knew how much she loved that.

"You could have wake me up, you know." She said almost laughing but she was still a bit sleepy.

"I've not been awake for too long." He answered in this soft tone she liked. She liked his voice and she knew that he could speak for hours she would keep listening. She loved the way he was looking at her because he did seem happy and happiness made him look younger – well, not younger but his real age.

She snuggled closer to him and he slid his arms around her, holding her tightly.

"It's quite a good start for the first day of the year." He whispered in her ear and she wondered if he knew that every time he whispered something in her ear, it made her shiver all along her spine.

"I can only agree." She said and she kissed his chest. She looked up at him and he was smiling at hher and he leaned to kiss her nose.

They spent a quiet morning in bed; cuddling up to him she was tracing patterns on his chest while he was stroking her hair. They took a shower together, even if together it took them twice – or more – the time they usually take; Remus washed her hair very gently and they had fun with the shampoo foam and she realized that he was even sexier under water.

They headed to Grimmauld Place at midday; some people were already there and everyone was busy doing something.

Tonks went to the kitchen to say hi to Molly and help her with the cooking; even though Molly seemed a bit reluctant at the idea and Tonks couldn't blame her for that. Remus went to see the rest of the people and he had left a kiss on the top of her head before he headed for the dining room. Tonks wouldn't say they were exactly hiding in front of the other because she didn't like to think that he would be ashamed of her – though, the thought was somewhere in the corner of her head. They could go outside together, but they agreed on not telling officially everyone for the risks of her dear aunt to know.

Molly gave her a simple task to do and she was glad she could help; she wanted to show to Molly that she was there to help her. Tonks was cooking the sauce for what Molly had cooked. She didn't have much to do and it was simple so she could do it.

Remus entered the kitchen a few minutes later; Molly had been quiet since she was concentrated in what she was doing.

"Hello Molly. Thank you for inviting me." He said in his so-Remus-polite tone. Remus always had the right words at the right time. He was very good with words and Tonks was sure that was one of the things she first liked about him. "It looks delicious as always" he added smiling.

"Oh Remus, dear, you know we like having you here. It's my pleasure!" She said joyfully.

"Thank you. I see you let Nymphadora cook." He said and she could hear his smile in his voice.

"I can hear you, Remus." Tonks said her eyes not leaving the saucepan.

"Oh, I know Nymphadora." He said and she heard him walking towards her.

"Don't call me Nymphadora." She said, trying to sound angry.

"So what are you cooking?" He asked looking above her shoulder. He was just behind her: she could feel his chest against her back and his hands wandering on the small of her back. He was tracing lines with his thumb. It was _really_ distracting.

"I'm making the sauce." She said.

"May I?" he asked smiling at her mischievously. Of course with Molly in the kitchen he would be polite but when she tried to cook at his house he was not so polite and he was having fun no matter if it didn't bother her.

"Yes." She said and he took the closest spoon and tasted the sauce.

"Very good." He said and she felt proud.

"Thank you, Remus." She answered smiling.

"Remus! I almost forgot. Hestia told me she needed to speak with you! She's not staying you should go see her before she leaves." Molly said, he had turned to look at Mrs Weasley but he didn't move his hand from her back and she was glad he didn't.

"Alright, Molly." He said in his polite tone. Tonks remained focused on her saucepan. "Continue like this, Nymphadora." Remus said before he kissed her hair and left.

"I think Hestia wanted to ask him something about his shifts; she wants to change one of hers."

"Oh, yeah I understand." Tonks said but she had no idea what to answer to that actually.

"I think she kind of like Remus, you know. I don't want to gossip but that's my idea."

"Oh." It was the only word Tonks managed to say. Hestia was a nice woman, very discreet and quiet. She was a bit more of age with Remus than Tonks of course. Tonks felt a bit jealous, she knew she shouldn't but she couldn't help it. "Really?" she added after a little moment of silent when she realized that only saying _oh_ was weird.

"Yes, but I don't think it's very serious. She only talked about him a few times." Molly said and paused a little time because she was doing something. "I don't know if Remus would be interested in her. She's a very nice woman, don't mistake me but I don't know… I haven't really seen him going to talk to her."

"Yes. I don't know either." Tonks said and she felt utterly awkward. She wondered if Remus could be interested in her and she didn't know; she could never be sure. Hestia Jones was very nice, and older. Tonks really hoped it wasn't serious.

"You seem to have found a real good friend in Remus, haven't you? He seems quite fond of you." Molly said casually and Tonks was glad she couldn't see her because she was smiling and sure blushing.

"We're very good friend." Tonks said still smiling.

"Have you finished the sauce?" Molly asked.

"Almost!" Tonks only had to season the sauce and it would be over.

"Oh Remus, you again!" Molly said a wide smile on her face as Remus walked in the kitchen again.

"I'm not bothering you, I hope?"

"Never. Can you be nice and take the bottles here on the counter?" She asked as she left with some of the dishes.

"Come here, taste the sauce. I seasoned it." Tonks said taking a spoon of the sauce and handed it to Remus. He let her slid the spoon in his mouth and he kept smiling at her.

"It's very good, Dora." He said in a reassuring tone.

"Fine." Tonks said and she poured it in a bowl. She could feel Remus staring at her. "What?" she eventually asked.

"Nothing." He said trying to take an innocent tone.

"You're staring." She said raising an eyebrow at him.

"Am I?" He asked and stepped closer to her.

"You are. You have to take the bottles, remember."

"Am I bothering you?" He asked surprised and Tonks only let out a sigh and he kissed her temple. "Is it your new year's resolution, you don't want me anymore?" He had this smile that said _'I-know-you-love-me-you-can't-lie-to-me_. This smile of his never failed to make her smile or even laugh.

"Shut up." She answered laughing and she tiptoed to kiss him on the cheek and he slid his hand on her waist to her back. She took the bowl in her hands and he took the bottles; she started walking out of the kitchen and he followed her. They smiled at each other when they entered the other room; they smiled like they were both sharing a joke that no one else understood, like the entire world was a joke that only they could understand; and they parted.

During the dinner Tonks spent most of her time with the kids. She really liked Ginny she was very alike actually so they got along very easily. The twins were always making her laugh; once they had told her that they had seen her at Hogwarts and she was one of the people they respected because of the pranks she did.

"Percy didn't want to come home for Christmas." George said in a low voice so only Fred, Ginny and Tonks could hear.

"Mum is devastated. She thinks we don't know; so she's hiding it." Ginny said and looked just as sad as her brothers.

"And how are you doing?" She asked them.

"Well, we're angry?" George said.

"And sad.." Fred added.

"I understand that he doesn't agree with the parents but it doesn't mean he should leave." Ginny said.

"We're family. I mean family comes first, doesn't it?" Fred said.

"That was really beautiful Fred, you're a poet."

"Thank you, George."

"He'll come around." Tonks said but she had seen Percy a few times at the Ministry and he wouldn't say more than a "Hello" to her.

"Are you sure?" Ginny said.

"With a family like yours, of course he will." Tonks loved and admired the Weasley. They were a big family with no big means but they had love for everyone.

"You could be our sister!" Fred said.

"Percia? Ponks?" George added.

"I would totally have you in my family!" Ginny said enthusiastically. Tonks laughed as George and Fred kept saying name like _Percila, Percidora, Perciette, Tonksy _and Tonks turned her hair just like Ginny's colour.

"You could totally be on the family pictures." Ginny told her.

"I'll sneak in." Tonks said and winked at her.

As Fred and George were speaking about one of their incomprehensible conversations Ginny came closer to talk to Tonks alone.

"Would you mind if I wrote to you once in a while?" She asked shyly.

"Really?" Tonks asked surprised. She saw Ginny worrying as she said the word. "That would be really great! I'd love to!"

"Really?" Ginny said in her turn.

"Yeah of course!"

"Thank you, Tonks." She said smiling at her a real genuine smile that Molly had quite often.

Later, when Mrs Weasley walked near them George shouted "Mom, we adopted Tonks as a sister!"

"And I think she can still teach us a few things." Fred added.

"You have two daughters now!" Ginny said laughing.

"Tonks, welcome in the family." Molly said smiling.

"Thank you Molly." Tonks said trying to contain her laugh.

They had talked a bit about what was going on but since it was the first day of the year Molly insisted on talking about something else because there will be other meetings soon and the kids shouldn't here all of this. They agreed since in a few days there would already be a meeting and the atmosphere lightened again.

The kids were together in, no doubt, Fred and George's room since Tonks heard the word _prototypes_. But Tonks pretended not to hear.

"Having a good time?" Remus asked as he sat next to her. Arthur was talking with Sirius and Kingsley who were very interested in the muggle ways of healing. Remus had already heard about when they escorted the family to St Mungo for Christmas.

"Yes, the kids are great." Tonks said smiling.

"They really like you." He said and she couldn't help but smile. She liked them so much; they were really fun and very nice with her. While other people would make fun of her, they had fun with her.

"They're fun." She answered and he put his hand on her knee.

"And you're having a good time too?" She leaned on the back of her chair, turning her face to look at him.

"Yes, it's good to see everyone with a lighter atmosphere." He said a little smile in the corner of his lips.

"Yes, did you have the time to speak with Hestia?" She asked trying to sound as casual as possible. He looked startled for a moment and then he seemed to understand.

"Oh, yes. She wanted to change a shift so she asked when were mine but it didn't suit her."

"Ok. Too bad for her." Tonks said politely. Maybe Hestia didn't _like_ Remus after all.

"Yeah, anyway." He started and he moved his foot close to hers when he removed his hand from her knee. She liked that she wasn't always the one getting closer to the other. He always had that effect on her; he could make her knees go weak so easily.

Tonks hadn't dated a lot of guys in her life; she had always been quite busy. She dated a few jerks in Hogwarts; she had gone on a few dates during her Auror training but it never really worked because they were completely hopeless then one that she liked get tired of her after a few months and left her for another one and the next after that told her that she was working too much and he felt like he didn't have a place in her life. And since that one she had only been on a date with a colleague even though they were not in the same department and she's never been on a second date with him.

Remus was the first one she could say that she loved; she had true feelings for him that she had never felt for anyone else. She had to get used to that – being in love with someone – but realized that it came easily even though it had scared her at first. She used to be a very independent woman, who did not care about what people could think of her; but with him everything was different however he made her feel confident.

"We'll need to talk about the Knight Bus mission with the kids." He said in a trying-to-be professional voice.

"Oh, really?" She asked raising an eyebrow at him and she moved her feet closer to his leg and when she started to stroke his leg she saw his smile growing bigger.

"I think that would be better." He said in the same tone.

"Well, when do you want to meet?" She said trying to sound casual and she was sure she had failed.

"Hmm, we could leave together, after desert. What do you think?"

"You wouldn't miss desert, would you?" She asked with a cheeky smile.

"You know me." He answered.

Molly levitated the cakes on the tables and the kids came back very quickly. They all ate desert and after Tonks helped Molly – even though she felt quite useless since Molly used a lot of house spells.

Remus and Tonks left together, saying that they needed to talk about the details of how they would take the kids to Hogwarts.

"It was delicious, as always Molly. Thank you for inviting me." Remus said in his so Remus-polite tone that Tonks loved.

"Yes Molly! It really was! One day you'll teach me, please?" Tonks said in a cheerful tone.

"It would be my pleasure, Tonks. The kids would love to see you more often."

"I love them, they're really great." Tonks said truthfully.

"Tonks you're leaving." Fred said when he came in the corridor.

"Too bad we had a lot of _things_ we wanted to show you." George said.

"_Innocent_ things, of course." Fred added when he saw Mrs Weasley shooting him a threatening glare.

"Thank you guys, I'll try to come again before you leave, alright?"

"Our pleasure." Fred said and bowed his head. Ron and Harry told her goodbye and then Hermione and Ginny came.

"Goodbye Tonks. I hope we'll see you again." Hermione said in a quite shy tone.

"I'll try." Tonks answered and hugged her goodbye. Ginny hugged her goodbye in her turn.

"Don't hesitate to write to me." Tonks said as they broke apart.

"Thank you!" Ginny said joyfully.

"And remember what we talked about." She said and winked at her. She was referring to a Harry-Ginny conversation Ginny had had with Hermione. Tonks had heard and came to talk to them; both Hermione and Tonks had advised Ginny to just do what she likes and remain herself. Ginny had said she would try but that it would be hard since Harry was with Cho now but Tonks advised her not to let a guy put her mood down.

"Goodbye now" Tonks told them and after Remus told goodbye to the kids and Sirius they left.

"Where do you want to go?" He asked in front of the door.

"Let's go back to your place, what do you think?"

"I think it's a good idea." He answered and he reached for her hand to apparate.

They got back, she was starting to get used to be in his house and she liked it. He came a few times in his apartment but she preferred going to his house, it was bigger and it was so cosy. They put their coats off and Remus sat on a chair at the kitchen table.

She walked behind him and put a hand on his shoulder; she put the other and started massaging him. She didn't really know how to do but it came naturally and if she had to guess by the way he moaned she'd say he liked it. She moved her hand from his shoulder to the back of his neck and then she slid her arms around his neck and she rested her chin on his shoulder. He rested his head on hers and she couldn't help but smile because she loved those silent moments between them when they would just enjoy each other's presences.

When she eventually moved to sit next to him, they talked about the way they'd get the kids to Hogwarts and then they were quite glad it was done.

Later they moved to the couch, watching muggle television. She had put herself comfortable, putting off her boots and her thigh because they were scratchy. She was leaning on him and he had his arm around her shoulders.

"Remus, can I ask you something?" She asked looking at her feet.

"Of course." He said and she felt her gaze.

"How… How was it last time… for you?" She asked in a very low voice.

"Oh." He said surprised.

"I know we already talked a bit about it with Sirius but, you know, I was a bit… young during the first war so I don't really remeber." the word _young_ was almost a whispered. She didn't want him too think she was just a silly girl.

"How old were you at the time?" He said, and she could tell he was counting the years in his head.

"No don't count. Don't say it out loud." She said a bit ashamed.

"Why?" He said laughing lightly.

"You'll think I'm too young for you, that I'm just a silly little girl." She said like she could already hear him saying it in her head.

"No, I think I'll feel guilty because I'm too old for you, or ashamed maybe." He said and she turned to kiss him because she knew he could actually do that.

"So, you want to know?" He added.

"Yes, please."

"It was very dark times, Dora. You must remember the atmosphere."

"I remember that my parents didn't want me to leave the house without one of them. Even in the front yard."

"This situation was similar for everyone. What was frightening is that you didn't who to trust; there were death eaters everywhere or people who collaborated with death eaters. Not all of them had the choice; they would come to your house to frighten you and threaten you or your family. There were only a few people to trust, for me it was the Order and my parents. The muggle didn't know a thing, except for the Prime Minister. There were disappearances, people who I had been to school with, neighbours, and friends. Then, they got in the light. The death eaters were known, some of them even famous. People would be found dead in their houses, with the dark mark on their house and at that moment, you knew what you would find inside. That was what I feared the most, to go to see someone and see the death mark. The death eaters did not fear anyone; there was a time when they were at their climax in murdering, torturing. We even thought they were getting completely mad. Well, they are mad but we thought that even Voldemort had lost control on them. I think he did lost control at some point…" he paused. "Frank and Alice Longbottoms were two members of the Order, and close friends, they were really good Aurors, brilliant really, I knew them from schools, Frank was, just like his son a bit unconfident but Alice showed him that he had no reason to and he grew up in a very strong and brave man. One day, a few death eaters including your aunt Bellatrix Lestrange got them and they used the Cruciatus curse on them… they tortured them so much that they lost their minds. They are still alive, they are at St Mungo now. I taught their son, Neville, he is a really good kid and like I said, he is a bit unconfident but I have no doubt that, just like his father, he will grow up more confident because he is smart and he can be really good when he concentrates. It was exhausting, not only to fight but to worry. Because you're worrying all the time for the people you care about, the people you love." She felt his arms tightening around her shoulders so she put her hand on his. "The death of James and Lily was… a terrible moment for me. Of course, all death was unfair and sad but James and Lily were like brother and sister to me. When I heard their deaths I had lost everyone, Peter who I thought dead at the time and Sirius who, I still feel guilty about it, I thought guilty. But like I said, you doubted everyone. For some people it was a cheering time, the Dark Lord was gone. I never believed those words even at that time. When they died I kind of stopped living, I found myself very lonely and I didn't want anyone in my life. Some people who did terrible things didn't get judged or punished for what they had done like some death eaters; Malfoy claimed to be against the Dark Lord when he disappeared. I thought the world was unfair and it took me time to accept it. I wondered why people like James and Lily died and I was alive; I was useless there and they had died, they had a son, they had people who loved them. It took me a few years to accept it and I saw the world moving on and I tried to do so."

Tonks had listened to every word carefully and her eyes were tearing at his honesty, she could feel the sorrow in his voice. She looked at him and she felt a tear running down her cheek. He wiped it away delicately and smiled sadly at her.

"I'm sorry." She felt useless; she didn't even know what to say.

She sat closer to him and he rested his forehead on hers and stroked her hair gently with his hand; she could feel the tip of his nose on her cheek bone. She placed her hand on his cheek; she wanted to show him that she was here for him but she felt _completely useless_.

"I love you." She whispered. He pulled her closer to him and held her tight against his chest as he rested his chin on the top of her head. He was stroking her back gently while his other hand was stroking her hair.

He let out a sigh and he said in a relieved tone "I love you, Dora... I really love you."

They stayed cuddle up on one another for quite a moment without saying a word. Then they started speaking of the movie and the atmosphere lightened again, they even laughed again. He summoned food from the kitchen and they ate a bit.

"I'll try making you a real dinner one day." She told him smiling. It's not that she didn't like cooking but since she was leaving alone she was a bit lazy. And she had to admit that she really was clumsy which was not helping at all in a kitchen.

"Without burning the house down?" he asked with that little cheeky smile of his. She loved when he looked at her mischievously like that, he seemed so young again.

"Remus Lupin, I am shocked that you doubt of my cooking skills." She said and raised an eyebrow at him.

"Oh I'm sorry Nymphadora. I didn't want to hurt your feelings." He said with that same little smile.

"You think you're making your case any better by calling me with my full name?"

"I know you love it when I say your name." He said, quite confident. He was right to be confident because she didn't mind when he said her name. He was the only one who could say her full name but she would never admit it. Not even to him.

"Pffff" She sighed. "Not true." She said, not looking at him because she knew her smile would betray her.

"Like I'm going to believe you." He said and he kissed her cheek. "_Nymphadora, _would you turn your face so I can kiss you?" He said and she just laughed but she did not turn her face. "Dora… Don't make me do that.." He said and she just kept laughing a little, still not moving her face.

She felt his hand sliding to her waist and she knew but it was too late he was already tickling her and she lost all her strength. She kept laughing and she couldn't push him away, she was already lying on the couch and he was on top of her. After a little moment, he stopped and she breathed heavily, trying to breathe normally again. He leaned closer to her face and he pressed his lips against her.

"See all I had to do for a kiss." He said smiling at her.

"Well, the least you can do is to kiss me more than one time." She said in a cheeky tone. So he kissed her again, she wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him still closer to her. Her hands wandered in his hair and on his neck while his were on her making their way from her knees to her hips. One of his hands stayed on her thigh and she could feel his thumb stroking gently her skin. His other hand was in her hair, stroking gently with his fingers.

She didn't know how they had been kissing when Remus turned his head and Tonks started to kiss his neck.

"I think we missed a great part of the movie." He said and indeed, when she turned to look at the television there were the credits of the movie on the screen.

"I'm sorry." She said but she did not mean a word. He turned his head to face her and raised an eyebrow. "Alright, not really." She admitted and he kissed her again.

"Can I stay here tonight?" She asked inches from his lips. She didn't want to go back to her place; every time she was with him it was hard to leave. He moved his head away from her and she wondered if he was thinking about the question, if he wanted her _or not_ to stay. A smile suddenly appeared on his face and she already felt relieved.

"I never intended to let you go." He said smiling but then he looked away, his eyes wide opened he added "I mean, not if you don't want to. I sounded like a real psychopath."

Tonks laughed and leaned on her elbows to kiss him. He kissed her more passionately, his hands pulling her hips closer to him. She really wished she didn't have to go to work the next day because she would gladly spend the next days of her life like that.

* * *

_Hey everyone, I hoped you liked this one. I'd really like if you reviewed to tell me what you think because I tried to be very carefully with Tonks' point of view. I love her so much I didn't want to make her look like a silly girl, you know. _  
_So I'd like to know if you think I can write a few chapters from her point of view? if you liked it? :)__  
_


	31. My friend, my lover

_"Oh I can't believe that it's so simple: It feels so natural to me. If this is love, then love is easy; it's the easiest thing to do. If this is love, then love completes me 'cause it feels like I've been missing you. A simple equation,With no complications to leave you confused. If this is love, Oh it's the easiest thing to do." Love is easy - _McFly

* * *

The end of the week came quickly and the kids had to go back to Hogwarts again. Sirius was already feeling grumpy at the idea and he was not the easiest man to live with and so there were more and more tension between him and Severus every time he came.

Remus and Tonks came to take them to Hogwarts: it was simple; they had to take the Knight Bus and wait until they were well in Hogwarts. Remus arrived at Grimmauld Place at the beginning of the day; Tonks had come after she had finished work. Kingsley managed to give her the afternoon for the mission.

Remus was trying to keep Sirius calmed down and Tonks spent her last moment of the holidays with the kids, especially with Fred and George who kept her busy in her room, then Ginny and Hermione joined them. Tonks left the room laughing with them and gave her seemed to be giving them advices.

It was already time for them to go; Tonks had taken clothes to dress like a tall older woman. The moment they left Grimmauld Place they were both very concentrated – on mission they were always concentrated and their relation actually made them good partners. There was no problem on the trip; the kids were all within Hogwarts when they left. Tonks started to relax a bit, and so did Remus.

"So, do you prefer older women, Remus?" She asked with a cheeky smile.

"No, not really." He said trying not to laugh too much.

"Alright, too bad I thought I'd manage to turn you on this way." She said trying to sound Sirius.

"Imagine if someone hears us!" He said hiding his face in his hand.

"Oh, who? There's no one here." She said and it was right, there was no one around them.

"Right. Anyway, no I don't fancy old women." He said as a matter of fact.

"You really prefer younger woman, Remus? I'm really shocked. I never thought you _fancied_ young women." She said and Remus felt awkward. She always managed to make him say things he never actually said.

"Merlin no! I do not have a type of women. I only love one pink haired woman, have you met her? She's a bit clumsy you couldn't have missed her." He said and she gave him a quite huge poke with her elbow in the ribs.

"Ouch" he said chuckling even it actually hadn't really hurt.

"You deserved it." She said trying to sound serious.

"Wait until we're in Grimmauld Place." He said and she turned to face him, raising an eyebrow at him.

"You'll see what the clumsy witch can do." She said still trying to sound angry.

"You know I love you when you're mad at me." He said very close to her ear.

"You're gonna regret what you just said." She told him not looking at him.

They arrived quite quickly at Grimmauld Place, Remus opened the door to her and as soon as she had walked in she morphed back to her real-self. Remus slid his hands from her back to her waist and rested his chin on her shoulder.

"You're not really mad at me, are you?" He said in the softest voice possible.

"I don't know." She said. Remus kissed her on the cheek and they heard Molly from the kitchen.

"Everything went alright? They're all in Hogwarts?"

"Yes Molly." Tonks answered. Remus removed his arms and put off his coat. He looked at Tonks who was trying to put off her shoes and he stroked her cheek with the back of his fingers.

"Trying to redeem you?" She told him smiling.

"No." He just said and he walked to the kitchen.

He told to Molly that everything went alright. Sirius was there too and asked about Harry; after everyone was reassured Tonks came in her normal clothes. She looked much better Remus thought, she was wearing a black short with black tights, a red sweater with the picture of a bird on it and of course, her favourite boots. They all sat at the table and talked about the kids, Hogwarts and Umbridge.

"The old bitch can't do much, they're children. They'll be alright, Molly." Tonks said in a reassuring tone.

"Exactly, and McGonagall's there and we can trust her. Hagrid's there too. Don't worry." Remus added.

"Thank you. You're all very nice." She said and even looked at Sirius who nodded. Of course they had a lot of fights but they had the same subjects: Harry, which only gave them a huge common point.

"Anyone fancies a cake?" Molly said in her so nice tone. Everyone nodded because who in their right mind would actually refuse one.

Molly levitated the cake on the table and at the moment they chose one Tonks and Remus were about to choose the same and there was only one of this kind left.

"Go one, take it." Remus said in a polite tone but he couldn't help but grin at her.

"No, take it." Tonks said.

"No , I insist." Remus said and she shook her head.

"No Remus, I know you love these ones. I'll take another."

"No, really take it." He said and put the cake in front of her. Tonks took it in her hand and Remus was about to smile proudly because he thought he had succeeded but she put the cake in front of him and quickly took another and bit in it.

"Thank you, Tonks." He said and she smiled at him.

"You're welcome, Remus." She said after she swallowed and continued to eat her cake. Molly and Sirius were looking at the two of them wondering what had just happened.

"And that was only a cake." Sirius said looking from one to another. Molly chuckled discreetly and pretended she hadn't witnessed anything.

Molly left the kitchen and said she would check the kids' rooms to see if they hadn't forget anything, and implied that she would check the twins' room very carefully. Tonks got up to get them glasses and searched for something to drink.

"Tell me, are you finally together?"

Remus looked at Tonks who was already looking at him. They had one of these silent conversations they often had. He knew exactly what she wanted to say _It's Sirius, we can tell him._ And maybe she was right, so he reached for her hand and squeezed it kindly.

"Well, yes we are." Remus answered.

"Really? No kidding?" Sirius said his eyebrows rosen in disbelief.

"No kidding" she said smiling and Remus pulled her towards him and she sat on his lap, putting her arms around his neck.

"Alright, tell me when and how." Sirius said smiling at them. Tonks was gazing at Remus waiting for him to explain.

"Well, it happened after the breakout of Azkaban. When we were kind of fighting, we were both shouting at each other because as you know it was the moment when she had heard me talking to Dumbledore… She didn't like that I wanted to protect her and that I was afraid for her. And I don't know what came into me but I kissed her. Not that I regret it." He said looking at her, she was biting her lips and looking at him with such tenderness if Sirius hadn't been there he would have already kissed her. "And it closed the fight, didn't it?" He said looking at her smiling. Tonks looked peaceful and he didn't know if he looked the same but he _felt_ the peaceful.

"It did." She said before she kissed his cheek.

"Are you telling me that you first kissed was in my house?"

"Not the _first _kiss." Tonks said smiling.

"The first kiss of the beginning of your relationship." Sirius said rolling his eyes.

"Yes." Tonks answered.

"And I was in the same house at the very moment." Sirius said, more talking to himself.

"I think we lost him." Remus said smiling.

"He'll come back to himself eventually." She answered and rested her forehead on the corner of his head. Remus was striking her back gently and he realized he felt happy to tell his friend about them. It made him look back at his relation with Tonks and he realized how lucky they were.

"And so now, you're in love with each other or?"

"No, we're chessboard partners." Tonks said sarcastically but smiling.

"Yes Padfoot, we are in love with each other. I mean, at least, I am."

"I am too, how can you doubt?" Tonks shook her head smiling.

"So, sorry, _we_ are in love with each other." Remus corrected and she left another kiss on his cheek.

"And you're not kidding me?" Sirius repeated.

"No." Remus said smiling.

"I'd like to ask you to prove it but I'm scared." Sirius said frowning.

Tonks put her hand on Remus's cheek and turned gently his face to make him look at her and she pressed her lips against his. She kissed him quickly but very softly.

"Alright! Enough!" Sirius said even though they had kissed briefly. But overreacting was Sirius's favourite hobby.

"But it's great." Sirius said after a few seconds.  
Sirius left to get a new bottle to celebrate the news but Tonks didn't move from Remus's lap.

"So, happy that your best friend knows?" She said smiling sweetly.

"Actually, yes I am." He answered and he pulled her closer to him and kissed her. They kissed gently and very tenderly. She was caressing his cheek with the tip of her fingers while she kissed him.

"You know I love you?" He whispered before he kissed her cheek.

"Hmm, I love you too." She answered and Sirius came back in the room.

"So now, you'll stop hiding in front of me?" He said laughing "because seriously, it was insulting!"

"I think I can talk for Remus when I say that we apologize." Tonks said in a very solemn tone.

"Awww, you say 'we'?" Sirius said laughing, making fun of them.

"Shut up" Remus said.

"But let's talk more seriously. Tonks, is Remus good in bed?" Sirius asked, trying to sound serious but his grin was betraying him.

"What the hell?" Remus said quickly, even surprising Tonks.

"What? That's an important question." Sirius said smiling but Tonks was laughing, almost crying from laughing so much. Remus wondered if itwas about the question or because of Remus's reaction, or both.

"Well, for your information, he's really good. Like… _really_." She said nodding her head.

"And you answered!"

Tonks and Sirius laughed together while Remus felt his cheeks getting redder and redder. In those moments, Remus realized how alike the two cousins were sometimes, they were family. When they had finally stopped laughing Tonks got up to find them some stuffs to eat. She walked at the other end of the room to search in cupboards and Sirius leaned closer, both his forearms on the table.

"Remus my friend," Sirius started.

"I don't like it when you start your sentence like that." Remus said smiling, raising an eyebrow at his friend. They were whispering even though Remus didn't exactly know why.

"I'm sorry to inform you that, now that I know you're with her there are a few things I need to tell you." Sirius said like he had prepared his speech.

"Are you going to give me The Talk? Because I'm not 12, and _really.._ _please_, _don't_."

"No" Sirius said laughing but he continued more seriously even though his eyes were giving him away. "I just want to inform you that if you hurt her – I do not mean physically, not the werewolf thing – but if you hurt her I swear I'll kick your balls the hell out of you. She's my little cousin and she's one of the few apples who fell from the tree of the Black family. Don't mess up with her."

"You're giving the Big Brother talk!" Remus said smiling.

"No, no I'm not. I'm just.."

"warning me. That's the point of the big brother talk"

"Don't tell her I did that! She'll… hug me." Sirius said feigning a shiver at the word _hug._

"Sirius, don't worry. I care for her, I really do."

"Alright. And you know I would have given her the Big Brother talk too but I know she doesn't need it."

"Oh but I do? You think I'd hurt her? Thanks."

"I know you wouldn't want to hurt her but you and your "I'm not good enough" speech, please James and I were so tired of it we weren't even listening to you when you started speaking words like that."

"I remember you pretending you were both asleep, snoring, when you started to try to be Animagi. When I was telling you that you were completely mad and you shouldn't."

"And see, we had the time of our lives. I am always right." Sirius said proudly.

"Yeah, ..no. I can't believe you gave me the Big Brother talk after having asked her about sex. You're weird. " Remus said smiling.

Tonks came back levitating tones of stuffs.

"So! Sweet or salty?" She asked as she put everything on the table.

"Huum, let's see what we have here!" Sirius said smiling and talked normally again.

Later the afternoon, Mad-Eye and Kingsley had come to see if everything had gone alright, they did not stay long and Remus had seen Tonks leaving the table quite early. Since they were not discussing of important subjects anymore Remus looked after her and found her lying on the couch of the library already asleep.

He stroked her hair, looking at her without realizing he was smiling. He hesitated before waking her up, but then he thought that maybe she'd rather sleep at her own apartment.

"Dora." He said quietly, still stroking her hair. It was always so soft and it always smelled so good.

"Remus." She said

"You weren't sleeping, were you?"

"No." She was smiling though her eyes were still closed.

"Why didn't you say anything?" He asked raising an eyebrow and she eventually opened her eyes.

"Because I love when you do that." She said pointing to his hand still in her hair.

She sat normally on the couch and Remus placed his hands on her knees and stroked them with his thumbs and she put a hand in his hair, stroking gently.

"If you're tired you can go to your apartment." He told her.

"No, I'm fine." She answered and she leaned a bit closer to him.

"You're sure?" He insisted.

"Hmm hmm." She just said and her face was just inches from his. "You don't mind if I…" She said her nose caressing his lightly.

"If you…" He said leaning closer again and he brushed his lips against her cheek and her lips found his. She kissed him tenderly and softly, her hand in his hair slid on his cheek and he could feel the tip of her fingers caressing his skin.

"MY EYES! MY EYES" Sirius shouted. Tonks let her head fall on Remus's shoulder and he only laughed.

"Is everyone descent now?" He added.

"I don't know when we weren't." Remus said smiling and he sat next to Tonks.

"I'm sorry that I'm shocked when I see your big paws on my little cousin." Sirius said as he sat on the chair.

"Well, lucky I first intended to sleep in that room." Tonks said, she turned to look at Remus and asked : "Do you mind if I-"

"If you?" Remus cut her, a mischievous smile on his lips and just laughed before she placed her head on his lap, her legs on the other side of the sofa.

"Merlin you're really not hiding now." Sirius said.

"Oh please, it's nothing." Tonks said rolling her eyes.

"So, Tonks, tell me…" Sirius started "it's been a long time since I hadn't seen Remus with a girl. How is he with you?" He asked smiling looking at Remus in a cheeky way.

"Well…" Tonks said hesitating; she looked from Remus to Sirius and said "He's horrible! Really! He's really mean with me you know; I have to give him all the chocolate. I don't have the right to eat chocolate! And he blackmails me. A few days ago he did some horrible things just to get a kiss from me." She said her eyebrows rose as she accused him.

"Lupin, you seem like a gentleman but one should always be wary of appearances." Sirius said trying to contain his laugh.

"Are you kidding me?" Remus said looking down at Tonks who was trying hard not to laugh, in vain. He started tickling her and she laughed even more, trying to push his hands away but as every time when he tickled her, she had lost her strength. He eventually stopped and when she managed to speak she said:

"See? Blackmailing me!" She said and she slapped him lightly in the ribs with the back of her hand. She stuck her tongue at Remus and he just shook his head smiling.

Sirius was looking at them with an approvingly smile on his face; Tonks looked back at Sirius and when she saw his smile on his face she said in a more serious way.

"But, apart from the blackmailing part, he… he's great. I don't know how I could describe you." She said and she made herself comfortable on his lap, tracing patterns on his knee with her fingers while her other hand was under her hand.

Sirius made fun of Remus, using a few wolf jokes. Tonks was falling asleep and Remus kept stroking her hair gently.

"Is she asleep?" Sirius asked quietly.

"Yeah." Remus answered looking at Tonks. She was sleeping in a very adorably way.

"How can you be sure?"

"The way she breathes. It's very steady and… I can just tell." Remus said smiling as he tried to push away the hair that was falling on her eyes and no matter how many times he moved it away it always came back.

"You really love her." Sirius said and it wasn't a question. Remus looked up at his friend and just smiled shyly before he nodded.

"Do you remember when James got his first dates with Lily… I think that if I start talking about her I may sound a bit like him."

"Well, she's my cousin so I'd rather preferred that you love her." Sirius said smilng.

"I do, with all my heart, I really do. When she's with me… I feel complete, I feel whole. It's like I've been waiting my whole life for her to come, you know. She's the light of the day; everyone would agree with me, every time she walks in a room she enlightens the atmosphere."

Sirius was looking at him with an approvingly smile and Remus looked back at Tonks while caressing her hair delicately not to wake her up.

"But one day, a younger man, richer and handsome and who is not a werewolf will walk in and she'll realize that she deserves _so much better_. I'm lucky now, I know it but I don't deserve her."

"From what I see, the only one she wants is you." Sirius from Tonks to Remus but he was not convinced. "Remus, Bill already came here and you were the only one she wanted, she still wants."

"If it's not Bill it will be another one." Remus said.

"I know there are a lot of Weasley…" Sirius said in a mock tone.

"You know what I mean."

"And you don't seem to realize that you're the only one she wants. She doesn't care about other men or she wouldn't be here, she wouldn't spend her time with you."

Remus looked at Tonks, stroking her hair.

"I don't want to tell everyone because I fear that if your dear cousins know they would… you know, Bellatrix… She's a bit mad, isn't she?"

"I understand." Sirius said quietly.

"It's not that I didn't _want_ to tell _you_. At first, I just wanted to take my time to be sure that she wouldn't regret it. And then there was Arthur's attack and Christmas holidays…"

"I understand." Sirius said smiling. "Don't worry. I knew that day would come."

"Thank you."

"So, you won't tell the rest of the Order?"

"No, not now. We're not _hiding_, you know but we don't tell officially. We can't seriously trust Mundungus, can we?" Remus said in a mocking tone.

"You know what he did last time? He came with cauldrons and asked me if I wanted to buy some! I really wonder if that man has a brain because what would I do with cauldrons? And then he told me that it would entertain Kreacher."

"I think you've got your answer there, he cannot have a brain." Remus said laughing lightly. Sirius didn't say anything for a few minutes and Remus was sure he had something in mind so he waited for him to speak.

"I miss Harry." Sirius said looking at his hands.

"I'm sure he misses you too."

"The house was full of life with him around. Why that arse of snivellus was there?"

Remus talked with Sirius for a moment, trying to make him feel better. They soon talked about lighter subjects.

Tonks started to move and Sirius got up and said "I'll leave you two, I'll be in downstairs." He winked at Remus and left.

It took a few minutes for Tonks to wake up and when she opened her eyes her turned her head to look at Remus. He caressed her forehead, down her cheek back and forth.

"Hello my Sleeping Beauty." Remus said smiling.

"Hello my Prince Charming." She said in a little hoarse voice.

"I wouldn't say I'm charming." He said, laughing lightly.

"You're very charming to me and as handsome as a Prince."

"Did I sleep for long?"

"A bit but you didn't snore."

She sat normally on the couch again, next to him and she turned to look at him.

"Uh.. Charming, I was wondering-" She started

"Yes, my Beauty?" He cut her and noticed that she was about to lose her words for a second but she continued.

"You know, I thought that, we could leave together tonight.." She said looking at his hands so he reached for her and pulled her closer to him both his arms around her. He slid one of his hand to her neck and he put a kiss on her temple.

"My pleasure." He said trying to sound like a Prince would in a fairy-tale.

"Your castle or mine?" She said and she buried her head in his neck.

"As you wish."

"I think I have food for two in my apartment, but maybe you prefer to stay in your house."

"As long as you're with me, I don't care."

"You're sweet." She told him and he could tell that she was smiling; he kissed the top of her head and she looked up at him, he kissed her forehead.

"You have a beautiful face, you know. You'd make a very good Prince Charming." She added and he kissed her hair again and he held her tight for a moment before they walked downstairs and joined Sirius in the living room with butterbeers.

They sat in the sofa while Sirius was in the chair, and that evening was spent like the other evening before in that living room. Remus realized that Tonks was not only the woman she loved, she was so much more: she was his best friend.

* * *

Hey! I hope you liked this one :)** Don't hesitate to tell me what you liked/disliked**! A bit cheesy maybe? But you know me now, I love to write them cute moments!

I know some of you maybe back to school, I hope everything's going fine for you! Good luck!

- I watched (and read) Wuthering Heights (movie of 1992 with Ralph Fiennes) I really advice this movie for you, you may like it, it's really good. :) -


	32. Strawberries taste good on you

"_There are some people who could hear you speak a thousand words and still not understand you. And there are others who will understand—without you even speaking a word._" Yasmin Mogahed

* * *

It was 6p.m and Remus was still looking at the papers Dumbledore had given him. He knew that Tonks should arrive soon now; she had told him that she should normally finish around this time. There was no holidays anymore and so they were back on their routine and they had to organize their time table to get to see each other enough; _enough_ for _them_ which was quite a lot.

He heard the door open and he knew that'd be her; he glanced at his files and closed them. He had managed to do what he had planned so he wouldn't feel guilty. He had done his duty.

After a minute, she walked in the living room; she had only put off her coat and hat. She was wearing a light blue jean with pieces of materials where she had ripped them, no doubt by falling or fighting. She was wearing a blue t shirt with a dark purple hooded jacket and of course, she had a short bright pink hair.

They both walked to the middle of the room and he placed his hands on her neck and kissed her; he felt her step away a little to steady herself. They kissed longer than just the first kiss of the day but he had missed her; they hadn't seen each other since a few days. He felt her arms wrapping themselves around his waist and they slowly broke apart, leaving small kisses before he looked at her smiling mischievously.

"Wotcher." She said smiling and she bit her lip.

"Hello, how are you?"

"Amazingly fine right now." She said laughing lightly. "How was your day?"

"Fine. I had some order duty today. I had a letter for a job, I have an interview in two days."

"I'm happy for you!" She said as she threw her arms around his neck, holding him tight.

"Thank you" he said in her hair.

They stepped away and he loved the genuine smile she had on her lips.

"How was your day?" He asked her in return.

"Fine but boring. I had only paper work and when I got to go outside I had to check on an old woman who claimed she had seen Sirius Black but when we showed her a picture of Sirius she said 'Oh no, this is not this man! Why do you ask about him?'" she said faking an old woman voice "She had misunderstood the name… we think, we're not sure. She seemed a bit weird. Merlin, I'm so hungry do you mind if I-" she started to ask but he cut her.

"Make yourself at home." He told her and she smiled widely.

"Thank you."

She walked to the kitchen and opened the fridge to find something to eat. She closed the door not taking anything and took a clementine, raising one to ask him if he wanted one and he nodded.

They sat at the kitchen table and they told each other what they had done during the day. Remus noticed that she kept rubbing her right side so when she had finished talking about how Kingsley scared one guy in the ministry and it made them all laugh.

"Have you hurt yourself?" He asked frowning.

"Oh yeah. I tripped on one of the stair of the old lady's house and I fell backward."

"Show me." He said not leaving her the choice to say no. He moved his chair closer and she put off her jacket, and he lifted up her t shirt a bit. Her skin was redder on a part of her side, no doubt it hurt.

"Wait, I'll get you something."

"No you don't have to." She rambled a bit but she stopped eventually when she realized he wouldn't listen to her anyway.

He went to the bathroom and took one of the wizarding creams he usually put on his wounds. He came back and he helped her put off her shirt and was just wearing her bra.

He rubbed the red part with the cream. She shivered when he first touched her skin because of the coldness of the cream. He took his time and when he had finished he let his other hand stroking her neck. He kissed her shoulder and said "Done."

"Thank you." She said and she kissed his cheek. She let herself fall in his chest and he wrapped his arms around her.

They remained silent for a bit and then he said "Put your clothes back on, you'll get cold." She did as he said and let his hand on the small of her back and they talked a bit. Remus did not know exactly how the conversation went on the taste of clementine and how it was one of the best fruits and they made a ranking of the fruits.

They fell silent and Tonks was looking at her hands; she had the look she always had when she had something to say so Remus waited for her to speak as he knew she would and after a moment she said "Remus" in a very soft voice and she moved to sit on his lap.

"Hmm Hmm" Remus moaned as he slid his arms around her waist.

"In the letter I ask about staying this evening but I didn't really ask for staying the whole night."

"That's why you sit on my legs, saying my name in your softest voice. You make sure you take full advantage of me before asking me." She looked at her feet, a guilty smile on her lips. "I don't know if I'm actually proud of you" he started "or if I'm utterly shocked by your behaviour, Nymphadora."

"Well, it's up to you, Professor" She said and she slid her nose on his skin before leaving a kiss on his temple, on his cheekbone, and on his cheek.

"I'll choose the first option." He said and she answered "good choice" between two kisses on his cheeks.

"Anyway," he put his fingers on her chin, moving her face to look at him "one day, you could stop asking this question. You are welcome here, _and_ I've never exactly wanted you to leave in two hours…" He saw she was biting her lips not to smile too much "you could leave a few clothes here, you know, so you don't have to go take things at your apartment… what do you think?" He tried to sound a bit confident but he really wasn't. This was kind of a big thing, even if it seemed silly.

"Really, you wouldn't mind?" She asked surprised, he shook his head as an answer. "You wouldn't mind if I didn't warn you before coming here?" She asked as she raised an eyebrow at him.

"No." He said truthfully, because really, he wouldn't. He would be more than happy to see her enter his house surprising him.

"If you want, I can let a few things myself at yours. I know I'm kind of inviting myself but I don't want you to think that's it a one way street." Remus spoke carefully because he had a lot of respect for Tonks. She was a very independent woman, smart, and brave and he didn't want her to think that he was using her.

"That is very kind of you Remus." She said a genuine smile on her lips.

"So we agree on that?"

"We do." She answered and she left a kiss on his cheek before she rested her head on his shoulder. He could feel the tip of her nose and her hot breath on his skin. That's what he missed about her, being with her, feeling her warm breath on his skin, hearing her laugh, hearing her cursing the thing she'd trip on.

"What do we cook tonight?" She asked, not moving an inch from her position.

"What do you want to eat?" Remus made the list of the things he had in the fridge and in the cupboards and they decided on what they'd eat. They got up and started cooking together since Tonks insisted on getting a few tasks to do. He asked her to cut the vegetables while he prepared the rest; he had to admit he was worried to see her with a knife; he'd seen her making plates or glasses fall enough to worry about that.

She was quite concentrated on her task and Remus realized he was staring at her but he loved the way she frowned a little and bit her lip when she was concentrated.

He walked behind her, looked above her shoulder and said close to her ear:

"Good job, you're doing very well." He let his nose in her hair and slid his hand on her hip.

"You're distracting me." She said trying to sound serious and utterly failed.

"Sorry." He said in the very same way and he kissed her hair.

"Like you mean it." She said shaking her head and Remus just laughed.

"I'm trying to improve my cooking skills!" She said and he tried hard not to laugh but failed completely in his turn. She took a handful of the vegetables peelings and threw him at him.

"You haven't."

"I think I just did." She said laughing at him, there was pieces of vegetable on his hair, on his shoulders still falling. He took the same things and threw it on her; as a response she grabbed some flour and throw a bit on his face but most of it missed him because she was laughing too much to aim right. After that she crashed a strawberry in her hand and spread it on his cheek. As he tried to do the same he had pushed her against the table, their body pressed again one another. He tenderly rubbed the strawberry on her cheek smiling proudly at her and he didn't miss to put some on her lips with his thumb. They had stopped laughing and she was looking at him, an eyebrow raised.

He pressed his lips against hers and he could feel her smile.

"You taste good." He said and he kissed her again but she broke apart. She kissed him on the cheek covered of strawberry; she was almost licking his face which made him shiver.

"You taste good, too." She said before she winked at him.

He lifted her up easily and made her sit on the table, her legs wrapped around his waist as he placed his hands on her waist under her shirt and he had forgotten that his hand was still covered of strawberries and they laughed lightly against each other's lips. They kissed passionately for a long moment, his hand wandering from her neck down her waist while hers were in his hair, pulling him closer.

They were distracted by her stomach rumbling at first it just made him smile against her lips, raising his eyebrows at her and she brush her tongue against his bottom lip and he forgot everything, where he was, that there was food around them, he placed both his hands around her face and pressed his lips fiercely against hers and she answered with the very same passion. A little moment later, her stomach rumbled again but it was much louder and Remus couldn't help but laugh.

"Alright, let's keep cooking." He said smiling "Anyway, you'll need strength."

"Oh, really?" She asked and raised an eyebrow.

"Hmm hmm" he nodded and kissed her on the cheek down her neck and he had to force himself to stop. She had closed her eyes and it took her a few long seconds to open them again and that was exactly the effect he wanted to make on her.

Remus cleaned the kitchen with a few waves of his wand and they finished cooking quickly. Tonks took off her jacket which was a bit dirty and she took one of his sweaters. Remus thought she looked _very _adorable wearing his clothes. They ate talking about an article on the Daily Prophet, and when Remus moved everything to the sink with another wave of his wand he asked the question that was in his mind since quite a moment.

"When will I see you again? I mean, except for the meeting?" He asked, trying to sound casual.

"Well…" she said, looking at her hands, or more precisely her fingernails and the pink polish on them.

"Tomorrow?" They said at the same time and they both laughed.

"Tomorrow seems good to me." He said and she took his hand. He got up and he sat in the couch, she laid down resting her head on his lap.

"I think I ate too much." She said laughing.

"Well, at least you gathered your strength." He said and she laughed lightly.

"Oh don't worry, I'm just resting a bit." She said and she winked at him.

"I don't." He said smiling.

He stroked her hair gently, he traced lines on her face and when his hand was on her cheek she placed hers on his. He looked at her and he saw how beautiful she was; he wondered again why she was with him.

She turned on the tv after a little moment and he read his book. He hadn't even read a chapter when she sat next to him. He looked at her, raised an eyebrow at her surprised that she was just sitting next to her normally – he was needy, wasn't he? It wasn't being needy, was it? No it was… no, he thought. He opened his arm to her and she sat closer and she rested her head on his shoulder.

He felt the tip of her nose on his neck and it was becoming hard to concentrate. He only had 2 paragraphs before the end of his chapter he could do it. Or not. Not if she started to kiss his neck, she slid her leg very slowly on his lap. Remus lost his words… he had to re-read the sentence. Or not. He put the book on the side table and he made her sit on his lap.

He kissed her on the temple, and left kisses all down her jaw. She tried to find his lips and kiss him but he put a finger on her lips she frowned a bit but he continued kissing her neck. He couldn't be gladder when she let out a moan, he kissed her collarbone and she put a finger under his chin and he looked up at her. He was about to eventually kiss her on the lips and she put a finger on his lips.

"This is not a one way street, my love." She smiled at him and she kissed his forehead, she followed one of his scars down his cheek, leaving soft kisses; then just like he had done, she kissed his neck and his collar bone, unbuttoning his shirt and sliding her hand under.

She looked up at him, her lips inches from his they continued teasing each other a little before it was too much for both of them and they eventually kissed and Remus pulled her closer to him.

* * *

Remus and Tonks, their clothes in their hands walked to the bedroom.

"Take the strawberries." Tonks said

"Oh, good idea." He said and he grabbed the fruit plate on the table trying to keep all his clothes under his arm.

"I know, next time we'll try with another fruit" she said and she ran to his bedroom and jumped onto his bed.

"Merlin! I love you!" he said as he walked to his bedroom.

* * *

_Hey everyone!_

_A little fluffy chapter for you ! (sorry it's a bit short) I have my idea for the next one which shouldn't be only a cute moment. I don't want you to get bored! __**DON'T HESITATE TO TELL ME IF YOU'RE BORED! Like I already told you, don't hesitate to tell me if you dislike something - or like. **_

_For your information I wrote a bit of the moment when Remus leaves Tonks because she's pregnant, and especially when he comes back! Well, you'll have to wait quite a long time before you'll read it but I wanted to tell you. _

_I wish you a good day, I'll update as soon as I can. :) _


	33. Fear -

_"And I would answer all you're wishes, if you asked me to. But if you deny me one of your kisses, don't know what I'd do. So hold me close and say three words, like you used to do. Dancing on the kitchen tiles, it's all about you._" McFly - _All about you_

* * *

He had had his interview in the morning and it went fine. Remus could work in a little store but the owner had told him that he would prefer to just storing because he knew that some customers wouldn't all appreciate to see a werewolf in the store. But the woman was nice with him and said that she accepted him but Remus was careful he knew that all the people who had hired him once had said that.

After the woman told him he could start next week, Remus went to his house and he sent an owl to Tonks to tell her. He had decided to go to Grimmauld Place to tell Sirius; Sirius and Tonks were the only two to know he had had an interview. When Remus told him, he was glad for him, he knew it was important for his friend. After a cup of coffee Sirius asked his friend to check one of the room where he had heard a weird noise; he had waited for Remus to come because he knew that he had a biggest knowledge on dark creatures.

He opened the cupboard and indeed, it was a boggart. Remus prepared himself seeing a full moon but no it did not went as he thought it would. Instead of a full moon he saw Tonks on the floor, Tonks' dead body. She was on laying on the floor, pale, her eyes closed, her body not moving, emotionless.

"So Remus? Is it a boggart?... Remus?" Sirius shouted from the stairs. He walked in the room quickly and ran in front of him.

"Riddikulus!" He shouted and Remus did not even have to time to see Sirius' boggart he was still thinking about Tonks. Her body… _dead_. That was, by far, the worst picture he had ever seen.

"Remus, are you alright?" Sirius asked in a concerned tone that Remus didn't hear a lot of times in his lifetime.

"What? Yeah." Remus managed to say but he couldn't get rid of that awful image he had in mind. Right now he just wanted to see her, to touch her, be sure she was alive, that she was safe.

"No you're not. Lupin, look at me."

"I'm fine."

"It changed." It wasn't a question "Did you know?"

"No."

"Want to sit?"

"No."

"She's going to be fine. She's an Auror and she's pretty good at it." Sirius said "Don't tell her I said that." Sirius added and Remus smiled little.

"I know but James… Lily… they were good fighter too, Alice and Frank too and see?"

"I know Remus. But she's alright. She'll be alright and she has _you_. She's working with Mad-Eye every day."

"I need to take a walk outside." Remus said and he left the room. He apparated in a calm lonely park, it was a muggle one he had seen when he was younger. He didn't know how long he walked but he needed to think about what he had seen, or not think about it actually. But he couldn't erase the picture from his mind and at the same time it made him think about his relationship with Tonks.

Sometimes all the words can't tell how much you love someone, but _this_… it proved him how much he loved her, how much he cared for her and how important she was for him.

But it scared him anyway, how much as he loved her there was a part of him that knew he didn't deserve her and one day she would realize it and she would leave him. She'd be right to, but it didn't mean he loved her less.

Remus decided to come back to Grimmauld Place; but as he walked in the kitchen he saw that Molly was there too. He didn't want to tell her right now because he knew she'd be happy for him but he didn't know how long it would last and he didn't want to disappoint her.

Only a few minutes later, the door opened and Tonks ran down the corridor – surprisingly she did not trip, or woke up Mrs Black. When she was past the picture she almost shouted:

"Remus!" She threw her arms around his neck, her feet no longer touching the floor. "I'm so happy for you!" She said and he could tell she was smiling widely. She was holding him tight, stroking his hair.

"Thank you." He said feeling his cheeks getting redder every second knowing that Molly was watching the scene. He was not ashamed of her, how could he ever be, but he was not used of being demonstrative when there were people around. He was quite shy and reserved about this. But feeling her so genuinely happy for him, he forgot about that detail and he held her close to him and stroked her back with his thumb. He thought about what he had seen earlier in the day and he held her even tighter. She was in his arms, alive and fine.

"I hope it will go well." She said more quietly in his hair.

"Say hi to Molly." Sirius said mockingly and Remus felt Tonks froze in his arms. He put her back on the ground; he had to admit that he had kind of forgotten they were not alone.

"Oh, Molly, hello." Her hair would getting nearly as red as her cheeks.

"Hello Tonks."

"I had an interview for a job and I can start next week, I told Tonks and she reacts, as always, in a very enthusiastic way, though I can't blame her." Remus said looking tenderly at Tonks as he spoke.

"Sorry." She said looking down trying to smile and she hurried near the sink to get herself a glass of water. Remus sat at the table, he was listening to Sirius talking about Harry – even if Sirius was his friend he had heard him say the same words a few times already – he couldn't help but glance at Tonks a few times. Her glass was already full of water; she was staring down at it. He saw her take a long breath and she turned around and sat at the table. She sat next to him, while Molly was on the side of the table and Sirius in front of them.

"Who'd like a tea?" Remus asked and they all nodded. He prepared it and poured everyone's cup. He sat back on his chair and tried to reassure Molly and Sirius about the kids while he was preparing it.

"Don't worry, you know that Dumbledore is here, he is safe we all know that. They are safe and they are good, we have nothing to worry about." Remus said and he started to pour the water in Tonks' cup. He put two spoons of sugar as he had taken the habit to; he had taken a chocolate bar for everyone: he cut a piece of it for himself and handed it to Tonks. "thanks" she whispered smiling, not wanting to cut his speech.

That was something they always did, he took a piece for himself, handed it to her and she would cut the tip of the little bar for herself and dipped it in her cup while he did the same with the rest. It had started one day when she 'stole' a piece of his chocolate and she had look at him like a kid who had misbehaved and he couldn't restrained his laugh.

Remus had continued saying that Ron was safe he had his brother, and so was Ginny and the twins, he told them that Hogwarts was the safest place to be but Remus realized that Sirius was looking from Tonks to Remus, trying to fight his smile.

It felt so natural for Remus that he hadn't thought a second that it could seem weird for the others, he knew how Tonks drank her tea, and her hot chocolate – there was only was little spoon of sugar and a lot of chocolate powder – and her coffee too. It has been a long time he knew, even before they were really a couple, they used to spend a lot of time together and he never realized he was preparing her cup like she wanted and he thought that she must have never realized too.

They kept talking a moment, drinking their tea laughing at Molly's stories about her children, with some added by Tonks who was at Hogwarts with some of them.

Mrs Weasley informed them that Arthur would come later to tell what he had heard in the ministry to Sirius. Weasley's kindness, Remus thought, Arthur was not especially close to Sirius even if they usually talk at the meetings, but Arthur had already told Remus once that he didn't want to make Sirius feel excluded so he would come from time to time to give him news on what's happening at the Ministry, or what he would hear from the people, things that wouldn't be on the Daily Prophet.

Tonks said she had heard people talking about Umbridge wanting the post of headmaster really hard. Sirius answer was "I hope she'll be as lucky as Snape getting the DADA's class.", which made Molly laughing guiltily.

They kept talking about the ministry and Arthur arrived an hour after and they talked about the ministry again for a moment. Tonks and Arthur giving them news about what the people were saying between them and when the subject lightened and Arthur was talking of one of his Muggle story, which was funny enough for Sirius to keep his mouth slightly opened at every word Mr Weasley was speaking.

Tonks left discreetly for the living room, apologizing lightly saying she was a bit tired. Molly looked at Remus after she had left the room, smiling lightly and he wondered why she was looking at him this way. She couldn't have guessed, could she? Maybe Nymphadora had given her quite a big hug when she came in but it was for the job, Molly couldn't guess.

"Remus, could you just check if Tonks is fine - if it doesn't bother you of course -?" She asked quietly, neither Arthur nor Sirius noticed that she had spoken to him.

"Of course, it's no trouble." Remus said politely and he got up quietly, and walked to the living room.

"Thanks. I have no doubt she'll like having company." Remus did not answer because he didn't if she was meaning _something_ or if she just said that casually. He was being paranoid, that was ridiculous.

He walked in the living room and so Tonks' bubble-gum pink hair; she was sitting in the couch and she seemed to have a blanket over her shoulders. He walked to her and she did not seem to hear him until he spoke, standing next to the sofa.

"Penny for a thought." He said smiling and he sat next to her.

"Oh, silly things. Aren't you with Arthur and Sirius?"

"No, Molly sent me check on you." He said nodding his head in astonishment.

"You can go back to them, I'm fine." She said shrugging.

"Oh no, I'm fine here." He said and he gave a little push on her shoulder with his.

"You're sure? Don't feel obliged, _really_." She insisted and he wondered why, after all the time they had spent together, she could doubt that he wanting to spend time with her.

"Really" he said and he kissed her on the cheek. She blushed a little which made him want to kiss her even more.

"I'm sorry." She said looking down.

"Why?"

"For what I've done earlier, I know you want to keep _us _quiet" she pointed both of them when she said the word _us_ "I shouldn't have; I'd understand if you're mad at me."

Remus laughed when he heard her, but sometimes he wondered if he was a grumpy man because it wasn't the first time she thought he'd be mad at her.

"What?" She asked surprised that he laughed.

"Of course I felt a little embarrassed but I would never be mad at you." He said but at the word _embarrassed_ Tonks lost her smile and that sparkle in her eyes and Remus realized what he had just said. "No, not embarrassed of you! How could I ever been! I felt embarrassed because I am always slightly reserved but that feeling lasted a second or two and your genuine happiness overwhelmed me." He said smiling at his own words which sound a bit cheesy but he wanted to cheer her up.

"You're being nice."

"No I'm not, I'm being honest." She shook her head rolling her eyes and Remus chuckled.

"Want a bit of blanket?"

"No keep it, I'm fine."

"Remus Lupin, I was being nice" she said with a cheeky smile "Take it." She handed him a part of the blanket and he sat closer to her. She leaned her head on his shoulder and he intertwined his fingers with hers.

They didn't how long they stayed in the living room before Molly popped her head out of the door saying:

"Remus, Tonks, I thought I'd make dinner for the 5 of us tonight, you'll stay, won't you?"

"Well, I don't think I'll eat better food anywhere." Tonks answered, turning so she could see Mrs Weasley as she spoke to her.

"I'll stay too, if that doesn't bother you, of course."

"Of course no, Remus!"

Molly left for her house by the chimney to take a few ingredients. Remus joined Sirius and Arthur sitting at the table while Tonks helped Molly with the dinner. Occasionally Remus glanced at Tonks who was trying to do her tasks really carefully, her concentration and her clumsiness –she couldn't fight it – were very endearing.

They ate dinner altogether spent a good moment; it was good to see them apart from the Order meetings. They had the right to hear stories about the Weasley children, and Sirius told some of them Marauders time – luckily he didn't take the most embarrassing ones. Then Tonks told some about Charlie and Bill who were at Hogwarts in the same year and a year under her respectively. Then Molly cleaned the table with a few waves of her wand. Tonks was speaking with Molly near the kitchen counter.

"Well, if you take some for Remus, take these ones he'll like them." He heard Tonks say and Remus took his chance and got up to join the two women.

"I believe I've heard my name."

"You heard well. I was saying to Molly, who is making a little bag for you to take home, to put some of those cakes." She said casually.

"You seem to be a fair observer." Molly said to Tonks nicely but she glanced quickly at Remus who was sure had seen a smirk.

"Well, maybe. I've learned a few things by coming here a lot. I know that Remus love your chocolate cakes" she started pointing at, indeed, his favourite little chocolate cupcakes "I know that he put no sugar in his hot chocolate, and he prefers them with real chocolate powder and not industrial one. He always has a piece of chocolate on him. I'm impressed by Sirius's organism acceptance of sugar, he's not taking tea with a bit of sugar he's taking sugar with a bit of tea. I know that Remus carefully double lace his shoes whereas Sirius is way more lazy about that. Sirius is a burned head, if he's angry he will get mad almost immediately and no doubt he'll shout at someone whereas Remus remain calm for a long moment, he will clench his fists or pull his hair a bit but then he will eventually get mad too, but it take him more time and sometimes he just won't because he will had thought back about it and maybe he'll think he shouldn't get mad or he'll think it would be better just keep that for himself. But one must always be wary of the barking dog and the quiet wolf."

She knew all these things; she had noticed all these things. When she was speaking about him she was looking at him with such… tenderness and he dared think love. It was something to hear someone telling you he loves you but seeing it in the eyes of the person was something even more powerful.

"Wow! I'm impressed." Molly said smiling and she looked at Remus waiting for him to say something.

"You seem to know quite a few things about me." He said

"You're not such an observer, maybe?" Molly asked.

"I know that you like your hot chocolate with a spoon of sugar," He started looking at Tonks but she was avoiding his gaze "you like to dip _these_ cakes in it but you prefer _those_ for your tea with the berry jam in it and a chocolate top. You don't drink a lot of coffee, you only take a cup when you're very tired; but you like to dip a piece of chocolate in other people's coffee. Tonks laughed lightly looking down at the table but she kept a smile on her lips. "You double lace your boots too, and you wear your black boots when you know you'll go on a big mission but the rest of the time you wear the brown thinner ones but when you're comfortable you prefer walking in socks only." He said and she looked at him, laughing at the facts.

"Well, you seem to know each other _very_ well." Molly said with an approving smile and the tender eyes of a mother.

Molly kept putting food in little boxes for them and moved a bit away and Tonks was playing with a spoon in her fingers, she had eaten some cream that Molly had made for desert with the cakes and she accidentally put some cream on her cheek and on her top – though Remus couldn't tell how she managed to do that… and she didn't seem to know either.

"Crap." She was about to wipe it with the back of her hand.

"Let me." Remus whispered and he wiped it away with his thumb and put it in his mouth. "Good enough." He said cheekily.

"Thanks" she whispered but he caressed her cheek with the back of his fingers, pretending to wipe it away again. "You're not scared that I noticed these things, are you? I'm not a freak you know." She said laughing.

He moved back his hand and took one of the little cakes she liked to take with her tea – he liked them too actually, he liked everything that Molly cooked. He cut it in a half and gave one of the pieces to her. She took it smiling and bit in it and looked at him, still waiting for an answer.

"I'm not." He said laughing lightly "It's normal that we noticed things about each other; anyway there are still lot of things that we'll discover."

When Molly had finished preparing everything she gave both of them a little bag with some rest of food in it and the Weasley left for the Burrow. Tonks and Remus left not long after them, and they headed for his house.

They took off their coats and shoes, they put the food in the fridge and when Remus closed the door he turned to see Tonks who was leaning on the table looking at him, beaming. He stepped closer and she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"I do believe that we have tomorrow morning for ourselves." She said, her face getting closer to his.

"That is very good news."

"Indeed." She said and she closed the gap between their lips. They kissed with such tenderness, his hands stroking her hair. He couldn't stop kissing her, he left kisses on her cheeks, on her temple, on her forehead and in her hair whispering words he didn't even realize he was saying out loud "Dora, my love." "My Dora" he spoke in his breath between kisses.

* * *

_Hey everyone! I hope you like this one :)_

_There should be another chapter coming very soon! - I just need to find it in my 200 pages word document But smart as I am I did not numbered my chapters, neither gave them title so wish me luck! haha _

_And my teacher told us to learn new vocabulary - something I hate doing, it's boring - but then I thought, I'm gonna find and learn some that could help me for my fic, so I'll write better for you! :D_

_Have a good day :) ( and thank you for the reviews! __**It warms my heart each time**__! Thank you to the ones who follow this story and to the ones who favorited it; it's always nice to know that some people like it. :) )_


	34. Let it snow on us

_Mabel Chiltern : But you never have been refused yet by anybody, have you, Arthur? I can't imagine anyone refusing you.  
Lord Goring : Of course I'm not nearly good enough for you, Mabel.  
Mabel Chiltern : I am so glad, darling. I was afraid you were.  
Lord Goring : And I'm... I'm a little over thirty.  
__Lord Goring : Dear, you look weeks younger than that.__  
__Lord Goring : How sweet of you to say so! ... and it is only fair to tell you frankly that I am fearfully extravagant.  
__Mabel Chiltern : But so am I, Arthur. So we're sure to agree. And now I must go and see Gertrude._

_..._

_Mabel Chiltern : Do you mean to say you didn't come here expressly to propose to me?  
__Lord Goring : No; that was a flash of genius.__  
__Mabel Chiltern: Your first.__  
__Lord Goring : My last.  
__Mabel Chiltern : I am delighted to heat it. Now don't stir. I'll be back in five minutes. And don't fall into any temptations while I am away.__  
__Lord Goring : Dear Mabel, while you are away, there are none. It makes me horrible dependent on you._

_An Ideal Husband__ - Oscar Wilde_

* * *

Remus was laying on his side in his bed. The full moon had just ended in the morning and he was exhausted. He'd never get used to the full moons; that's not something that got easier with time.  
He was not exactly sleeping but he couldn't say he was fully awake, sometimes he would find himself too tired to even think. He was physically exhausted; every bone of his body hurt but still, he wasn't in a mood for sleep and if he started sleeping now he would wake up in the middle of the night, fully awake but there was nothing much to do in the middle of the night.  
He suddenly heard a noise, and he saw it. A little white chameleon. A patronus, not any patronus. Tonk's patronus. The shadowy chameleon came running toward him and flied around Remus. He wondered what she had to say to him, though the only thought of her patronus made him smile; but then he saw the chameleon running out of the room. His eyes followed the silver animal and there she was standing in her apartment. _Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._ The white chameleon ran around her and eventually dissolved. She couldn't be here and see him like this; he loved her, he really did but he still had his dignity and pride but if she stayed any longer in this room there would be nothing left of it.

"What are you doing here?" he asked sharply.

"Wotcher." She answered smiling.

"You should leave" he said firmly but she didn't seem to care at all. She couldn't care less actually because she put off her shoes and walked towards the bed. She climbed on and lay just behind him. He felt her hand on his back; she was stroking him very gently. It felt incredibly good. Why did it have to feel so right, he thought. Her hands were stroking along his spine… but he _had_ to make her leave. She couldn't stay here; seeing him like this.

"I'm not leaving" she whispered in his ear and she kissed his hair very softly.

"You should." He answered still on sharp tone.

"You remember the day you said you liked that I was stubborn? Well I still am." She said, no doubt smiling.

"Shit." he said more to himself actually and he heard her chuckle so close to his ear he felt her hot breath. She got closer to him and she leaned her head on his shoulder.

"I love you" she said grinning and he just sighed. "You're not going to like what I'm about to say"

"Do I have to listen?" He said still avoiding her eyes.

"Well it's better if you don't want to be confused later…" she said smiling and he just moaned.

"I took my day off tomorrow. So I'll stay the whole week end with you."

"Why did you take your day off? You could have taken it another day when I would have been in a better shape!" He said annoyed.

"You really don't understand a thing, do you?" She said still smiling. He was impressed of how she managed to maintain a smile on her face while talking whereas he kept growling. She was caressing his chest gently now, her chin still resting on his shoulder.

"Please enlighten me?" he said.

"I did it on purpose. I wanted to stay here with you because I don't want you to be alone anymore."

"But I don't want you to see me like that" he said sharply.

"Oh stop it Remus! I'll stick with you for the good and the bad. You'll have to get used to it."

Maybe she was right; maybe he was overreacting, it's not like she hadn't seen him after a full moon actually. He'd be stupid to actually refuse a whole weekend with her anyway. So he slid on his back carefully not to hurt her and she rested her head on his chest. He had put his arm around her and he softly kissed her hair. Yet, he did not say anything, sometimes words were useless and that was one of these times.

He then asked her about her day and she talked about her work at the ministry; she told him what she had done; and her missions and some very awkward stories about some of her colleagues. She told him that she visited Sirius the evening before and that he was feeling very lonely since Harry had left for Hogwarts and that he had a little tendency to drink, well, _he always had_ she said but it was different in this case, he was alone and depressed. They agreed that they'd do a _cheering up Padfoot mission_. They talked about everything and nothing for a long moment, light conversations about Molly's cooking, the Holyhead Harpies. They truly enjoyed each other's company: talking to each other for hours.  
He noticed that she closed her eyes while caressing his chest softly.

"Are you tired?" he asked

"A bit. I worked more the whole week to ask for my day off."

"You're crazy" he said smiling.

"Maybe; but I think it's your fault." She said smiling; moving her head to look up at him.

"Oh yeah right" he said, stroking her back softly. She moved so that she could look at him, her head resting on his chest. They stayed silent for some long minutes while she was looking at his face but Remus could see the way she looked at him, she was concerned – since he looked like hell it wasn't surprising – so he avoided her gaze by looking at her hands, her pink nailed fingers stroking his chest.

"How are you feeling?" she asked and even in her voice he could feel her concerns.

"I'm fine." He lied "Like usual, you know. But I have to admit that it feels better with you." He said smiling to lighten the atmosphere though he doubted it worked.

"Are you hungry? Do you want something to eat?" she asked and he looked at the clock on the bed stand it was nearly 8pm, they had stayed in bed for two hours at least.

"No I'm fine" he said smiling politely.

"I'll cook you something.." She said like she hadn't listened to his answer "Well, I'll see what I can do." She said smiling, sitting on the bed.

"You don't have to do that!" he said as he shook his head. He sat up, holding himself on his elbows.

"I know I don't _have_ to; you told me that hundreds of time and I'm telling you _again_ I _want_ to!" she said and she leaned closer to him and kissed him. It was a long tender kiss, she was holding his face as she moved her lips onto his; he liked the feelings of her fingers caressing his cheek softly. There was something relaxing about her, the way she touched him, she kissed him, which was quite a paradox since Tonks was always full of life and enthusiasm but he found her cheering happiness relaxing. She got down from the bed and walked to the kitchen; he looked at her leaving the room she was wearing a tight jean with pieces a flowered tissues on some part, a green t shirt and a light brown cardigan too big for her. She left the room and Remus let himself fall back on the bed wondering if it had all been a dream.

He would have loved to follow her in the kitchen actually, and _distract_ her while she was trying her best to be concentrated; but he didn't want to move: every part of his body still hurt and if he was up on his feet it would be more than obvious to her that he was weak.

She came back with a plate so Remus sat on the bed, his back against the wall. She sat facing him, aside his legs.

"I found chicken in your fridge and other stuffs. So I made you a sandwich because I didn't know what to cook." She said smiling.

"You're perfect" he said grinning at her and he moved forward her and she pressed her lips against his.

"I'm not" she said smiling against his lips and she handed him the plate. He started to eat his sandwich and looked up at her.

"You're not eating anything?" he asked surprised.

"I'm not really hungry"

"You should eat something" he replied quickly and he cut half of the sandwich and handed it to her.

"No, _you_ take it." He shook his head, then she raised an eyebrow at her so she eventually took the sandwich and he smiled at her.

"Merlin! It's good" he said smiling.

"Now, do you want some desert?" she asked between to bites

"I don't know if I have something in my fridge." He said confused.

"I've seen good things and I brought a few things too. I'm going to prepare you an amazing desert to make you feel better, ok?" she said smiling widely. He put his hand on her cheek, caressing gently. She kissed his palm and left the room again; Remus finished his sandwich and she finished hers in the kitchen.  
He was alone but still smiling stupidly, thinking about how sweet she was with him. Even if he was not in a good shape, he had rarely been that happy. She came back after a several minutes with not a plate but a big cup.  
She sat facing him again and was smiling proudly biting her lips.

"I mixed a few things; there's cake and chocolate and whipped cream." There was only one spoon in the cup and she handed it to him.

"And 2 spoons?" he asked a smile in the corner of his lips.

"_Accio_ spoon" she said smiling reaching her hand waiting for the spoon to come and it did. "Now there are two" she added and she stuck her tongue at him.

He took a spoon with a little of everything in the cup and handed it to her; she opened her mouth and he gently put it in her mouth. She ate smiling and he tasted the desert. It was indeed quite good and he was impressed by her talent; she was underestimated herself.  
They ate, playing with each other – Tonks had, at some point, some whipped cream on her nose and Remus had a kissing lips shaped chocolate trace of chocolate on his cheek – they were like two kids again. When they finished Nymphadora put the cup on the night stand and she leaned closer to him and kissed him.

"Your lips taste of chocolate" he said smiling against her lips.

"Yours too" she answered.

She carefully moved on the bed and sat next to him. She put her head on his shoulder and took his hand in hers, with his free hand he traced lines on her forearm and realized that it could actually make her shiver – so he would remember this. He pinched the tip of her nose; she laughed quietly and turned to face him. She kissed the tip of his nose and he kissed her cheek. She put her face on his shoulder again and he leaned his head on hers. There was nothing better than feeling her close to him; it still surprised him that she didn't mind him being a werewolf. _She didn't mind._ He'd give her the world for that.

"Do you realize that we're going to spend 2 whole days and 3 nights just the two of us?" she said quietly, not moving an inch away.

"That's unbelievable, right?" he said laughing.

"I have to admit; I'm kind of worried something will happen just to blow everything up."

"No. I won't let anything ruin this."

"You're sweet" she said smiling kindly, resting her chin on his shoulder and he just kissed her. She caught a glimpse of the clock and opened her mouth in surprised.

"Maybe we should go to sleep." She said quietly.  
Remus looked at the clock and noticed it was already 11:30pm. Time flew when she was around and even if it was not exactly late but they were both so tired that he agreed.

"The sooner we sleep the longer our day will be tomorrow" she added

"Exactly." Remus turned his legs on the side of the bed. His legs hurt him; not only his legs actually: every bones of his body, yet he tried to act normal because he didn't want to seem weak in front of her. He got up and suddenly she took his right arm and put it around her shoulders. She wrapped her arm around his back and he let himself getting leaning on her, walking to the bathroom.

"That's exactly why-" he started

"And that's also _why_ I'm here" she said louder

"You shouldn't have to do that. Normal couples don't do that."

"I thought we agreed we weren't normal" she said smiling.

"I know" he couldn't help but smile "but I don't want you to pity me"

"I do not pity you" she said shaking her head "the only thing is that I don't want you to be alone"

"I'm used to be alone now" they were at the door of the bathroom and she turned to face him, still holding him tight.

"Now you have to be used to me. I'll do my best to be with you as much as I can, especially in those moments. Expect if… you don't want me."

"Of course I want to be with you as much as I can. I don't like being away from you" he said quickly in a sigh leaning his forehead on hers. She left a quick kiss on his lips and they entered the room.

"You already have your toothbrush here" he said smiling looking at the little glass with two toothbrushes in it. One green and another purple: the green was Remus's and of course the purple on was Tonks's.

"I know and I'm quite proud of it you know" she said and kissed his cheek. She took the two toothbrushes, handed one to Remus and took the toothpaste in her other hand and put it on both brushes. While they were brushing their teeth Remus kissed her on the cheek leaving foam on her cheek on purpose.  
They finished brushing their teeth and Remus leaned on the wall of the bathroom. Tonks changed her clothes in front of him. He had no time to even realize it she was putting off her clothes in front of him when she was standing almost completely naked.

"I'll borrow one of your shirts to sleep" she said and she walked to the bedroom, opened a drawer and chose a grey t shirt; It was of course, way too big for her but it only made her look cuter. She was only wearing this, her underpants and socks. She was so adorable and sexy at the same time.

"It's funny how my t shirt suits you _way_ better than me" he said laughing, gazing at her.

"I'm not so sure about that." She said laughing "but I want to wear something from you."

"I had noticed" he laughed.

"Do you mind?" she asked surprised.

"No. _Not at all_." He said looking at her overwhelmed by her beauty and her whole allure; her short pink hair falling on her eyes as she had put the shirt.  
She walked toward him, looking at him straight in the eyes.

"You're gazing" she said smiling.

"I have many reasons to. Don't tell me you didn't do that purposefully."

"Not exactly on purpose; I think you've seen me with fewer clothes than that. Actually I never thought that would have so much effect on you, but I'll remember." she said laughing quietly

"Yes I've seen you with fewer clothes but doesn't change the fact that you're absolutely gorgeous" he said trying to fight his smile.

"What are you wearing tonight?" She said smiling looking at the room.

"pants." He said laughing and she joined him.

"I need to pee now" she said casually as she walked to the bathroom.

"Interesting" He said laughing and he put off his clothes.

They both left the bathroom and she helped him walk through the room again. Remus and Tonks lay in bed with a feeling of this being completely natural but at the same time they were both enjoying the closeness so much that they also felt like two kids in love.  
Remus turned off the lights except the little lamp on the nightstand. They were looking at each other for a moment; and they had fun just like two teenagers in love. She kissed his lips quickly; he kissed her back; she stuck her tongue at him and he touched her tongue with his own; both smiling trying not to laugh. They kissed again and this time their kiss was more passionate staying extremely close to each other, their eyes still closed they kissed quickly again. He opened his eyes and he saw that she was more and more tired; he kissed her lips one more time and noticed she was reacting more and more slowly. He kissed her cheek, and looked at her for several seconds like he wanted to keep this picture of her in mind forever. He looked at her short bubble-gum pink hair falling on her eyes, her long dark eyelashes, her pinkish red lips. He turned off the light and put his arm around her waist, laying just next to her. He couldn't help but kiss her another time on the cheek very softly. And he eventually fell asleep.

He woke up twice during that night and every time he took his time to fell asleep again. He'd got closer to her, tightening his hold on her. He could see her react when he got closer; she would move just a bit and moan as she moved. But she never moved away, on the contrary.

In the morning he woke up; he was feeling better even if his body still hurt. But as the thought flew in his mind he realized that his bed seemed… empty. He looked next to him and Tonks wasn't there, nothing, just a pillow.

He quickly moved the covers out of him and got up, he could move more easily and he was glad he would not seem too weak in front of her, if she was there… Maybe she had to go to work, or maybe she realized she would be bored with him this weekend, or she remembered that she could have way better than an old werewolf.

"Dora?" He asked as he got up and his voice sounded hoarse; he coughed a bit and called her again.

"Tonks? You're here?"

"Nymphadora?" He asked as he stepped in the kitchen and there she was pouring coffee in a mug.

"Merlin's shit Remus! Why couldn't you stay asleep?" She said annoyed.

He walked towards her and kissed her temple.

"Hello to you too, my love."

"Sorry, goodmorning Remus but I wanted to bring breakfast to bed so you'd be surprised."

"Dora, that's very kind of you."

"But I wanted to surprise you when you woke up." She said, torturing a little piece of bread with a knife. He took the knife out of her hand and made her face him.

"That is amazingly kind of you to do this and I'm already surprise that you thought of doing this."

"You're surprised? You never thought I could prepare breakfast for you." She said in a mid-hurt mid surprised tone and she slapped him with a napkin.

"That's not what I mean," he said laughing lightly at her reaction "no one's ever been so… kind and… caring with me before."

"Oh." Was her answer before he kissed her, placing both hands around her face.

They ate their breakfast in the couch, watching muggle tv and they read the Daily Prophet together, commenting after each articles. They ordered muggle pizza for lunch and they Tonks wanted to have a walk outside. Remus only agreed because she seemed so joyful at the idea but it was snowing, no doubt it was cold so that wasn't what he fancied the most. But since they had no order duties it would be stupid not to enjoy a little time together outside so they headed for a park, it looked like a big wave of snow. Tonks almost fell down five or six times on the way so Remus was holding her tightly to steady her in case she would fall again. They were walking down the path when she stopped because, she said, her boot was scratchy but a few seconds later Remus got a snow ball in the back of his head. He turned on his feet and there she was standing, laughing another snow ball in her hand ready to be thrown.

"You haven't-"

"Yeah I have." She said laughing and she threw him the other snowball which Remus avoided luckily.

They had a snow fight for quite a moment; some people walking in the park – most of them muggles – were looking at them like they were freaks: two adults having a snow fight but Remus didn't care and neither did Tonks apparently.  
Tonks fell, again, and was completely covered with snow. She walked towards Remus claiming she wanted peace and she threw herself in his arms and Remus realized that she only wanted to put as much snow as possible on him when she hugged him. Remus sliced and fell on his back; Tonks had followed him of course and was on top of him laughing, her head hiding in his chest.

"Sorry" she said still laughing lightly "I didn't know my clumsiness was contagious."

"Are you kidding me? I fell because of you!" He said joining her laughing.

"You didn't hurt yourself, I hope?"

"No." He said. The ground was cold, but anyway he was already covered in snow before he fell so he didn't even mind.

She looked at him smiling, stroking his cheek lightly. She leaned closer and pressed her lips against his; she was kissing him passionately which surprised Remus a bit but he couldn't say he minded.

But as he kissed her, Remus took some snow in his hand and lifted his hand to her head and he couldn't help but smile as he kissed her. He put the snow on her head and ruffled her hair very quickly before she moved her head.

"REMUS JOHN LUPIN!" She shouted and Remus just burst out laughing.

"Nymphadora Tonks"

"You are not making your case any better!" She said still angrily and Remus thought she was amazingly sexy when she was angry like this.

"Kiss me." He said and she looked taken aback from a second but she did as he asked. She kissed him even more passionately and between kisses she said "maybe… we should… go back… home." Remus only nodded and they got up to apparate to his house.

They had a very lovely afternoon, a very good night. They had lunch on Sunday with Sirius and then they spent a quiet night together, sad that the next day it she would have to go to work and Remus would be back to the reality of life, working for the Order.

They were both sitting on the sofa, she had placed her legs on his lap and rested her head on his chest; he was stroking her back gently.

"I had such a lovely weekend."

"So had I."

"I don't like Mondays." She mumbled. Remus chuckled and moved his hand up to her neck and stroked her hair lightly.

"You can come here tomorrow if you want… or I can go to your apartment if you prefer."

"As you wish."

"I mean if you want to be alone I'd understand!" he said and he started to feel very stupid "Maybe you'd rather have some time on your own, it's normal. I'm sorry" He started rumbling but she cut him, a wide smile on her face.

"You silly man, of course I want to spend my time with you." And she planted a kiss on his lips.

* * *

_Hey ! Sorry I couldn't update soon I got really busy with all the homework I had - I went back to college last week. Really sorry! I already know what I want to write for the next chapters so I shouldn't be too long - I'll try my best._

_You must have noticed I changed the name of this fiction! Well I added : **The bright pink sun in my sky. **It's my first fiction so I didn't really what to put as a title at first but I realized that everyone has cool title, so do you think it's okay if I let Remadora : A pink sun in my sky? Or should I erase 'Remadora' ? _

_As usual, __**don't hesitate to tell me what you think of it, what you like/dislike**__ :) If you want me to write a short story too! __**And thank you to all the reviewers**__, I send you all my love! _

_If you haven't read the quote I put on top of this chapter, please read it it's from an__ Ideal Husband__ by Oscar Wilde it's my favorite passage from this play! If I could play one role one day I'd love to play Mabel, but I don't think I'd be an actress haha_

_Have a good day everyone :) _


	35. Just a bad dream

_"Promise me you'll always remember : You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." Winnie the Pooh_

* * *

Leaning on the counter of the kitchen in Grimmauld Place, Remus was thinking about what he had read in the Prophet: Umbridge was planning on making the wizarding world safer. By that, she only meant that Dark Creatures would see their rights diminish… again. Remus had finally got a job, it wasn't much but it was something and he didn't want to have to quit it because he was a bloody werewolf.

Sirius was reading the Daily Prophet silently, sitting at the table; they had both talked about how Umbridge was getting more and more importance in Hogwarts, which was of course, terrible for the kids. Remus wondered if there could be a kid like him, who would have been bitten but Dumbledore would have accepted him anyway: what would Umbridge do to a kid like him? He wouldn't stand a chance even though he hadn't ask for any of this burden.

They heard the door, a little noise and then "bugger it! Fucking troll leg!" but it hadn't fell on the floor and the picture hadn't waken up.

"Wotcher." Tonks said not very enthusiastically and she left a quick kiss on Sirius's cheek and she walked towards Remus mechanically. She leaned her head on his chest and sighed.

"I'm so bloody tired." She mumbled and indeed, even in her tone he could say she was exhausted.

"Hard day?" Remus just asked. He wrapped his arms around her, trying to comfort her even if he had no idea what to do. The thing about living your life solitary is that you forget the simple gests to have for someone, luckily Remus had the best way to learn again to be in a relationship.

"Yeah. There's been another disappearance. I had to go to so many bloody houses to ask questions. I'm exhausted."

"Sit, I'll prepare you a hot chocolate." He said quietly; she looked up at him and smiled gently at him, though her smile didn't reach her eyes. He placed a tender kiss on her forehead before she walked away.

She sat in front of Sirius, her elbow on the table so she could lean her head in her hand.

"How're you doing?" She asked Sirius who hadn't really looked up from his newspaper.

"Fine." He said in a sharp tone but he seemed to realize that even though he was in a bad mood Tonks had nothing to do with that. "It's that old hag again, she now has the right to do what she likes in Hogwarts, she's not just an observer anymore."

"That old mad bitch. Don't they realize she's out of her bloody mind?" Tonks said now just as angry as her cousin. Remus noticed that when she was tired she would swear more just like Sirius actually; was it the Black blood or the influence that he had on her, Remus wondered. It was true that Sirius and Tonks had grown fond of each other, though Sirius would never admit it in front of her – fearing a _hug_; Remus would hear him say the word with fake disgust. Actually, Sirius like his cousin's spontaneity sure it reminded him of his old self.

Sirius and Tonks spoke for a few minutes about this before Tonks' eyes wandered on the table; at some point Remus wondered if she would fall asleep on the table or if she was actually sleeping eyes opened. Remus gave Sirius a butterbeer, well knowing that he didn't like cacao, he then put a mug of hot chocolate with marshmallows on top and chocolate powder on them for Tonks. He left a kiss on the top of her head after he said "Here."

"Thank you." She whispered placing both her hands around the mug. When she saw how he had prepared it, she looked at him and smiled more widely. Remus preferred seeing her like that even if it had lasted a few seconds only.

They heard the sound of the door closing, Remus glanced at the clock – people were arriving for the Order meeting. Tonks straightened up and kissed him quickly but softly, to Remus's surprise and as she sat again and at him, her cheeks almost as pink as her hair. Sirius had politely looked away but couldn't hide his smirk.

The meeting went as usual, talking about shift timetables and news about what was going on. The main subject was Umbridge; her new laws and the progress of her influence in Hogwarts. When they reached the 'Dark Creatures part' Remus only wanted to leave, or shout or both maybe but he couldn't. He didn't have the right to let his personal feelings obstruct his work for the Order. When he felt something warm on his hand and quickly realized it was Tonks' hand, he realized he didn't have to be alone. Though he didn't want her to share this burden with him, she should never have to live like this, like he did for the past 30 years. She gave his hand a light squeeze and she glanced at him with a reassuring smile and Remus could feel the atmosphere lighten.

After the meeting ended, Hestia Jones was talking with Remus and despite all the respect he had for her, he wasn't listening to a word of what she was saying. He kept glancing at Tonks who was looking mindlessly at the table; she seemed somewhere else and it was not very like her usual her. He had been talking with Hestia for at least five minutes so he could leave politely.

"Will you excuse me? I have to go see Tonks." Remus said in his most polite tone.

"Tonks? Yeah, of course." Hestia said but Remus had already walked away.

"What're you doing?" He asked very fast, just in her ear and Tonks jumped.

"Merlin's sake!" She almost shouted "I almost had a heart attack." She said her hand on her chest.

"You're a bit young for this, aren't you?" He asked quietly.

"No, not at all Remus, 22 is an age when you can have a heart attack when someone surprises you." She said in a mock serious tone.

"I'm sorry, Tonks." He said bowing his head a little. He took a cake on the table and handed it to her. "Will you forgive me?" he asked showing her the little cake.

"No." she said trying hard not to laugh as she looked away.

"Being a little difficult, aren't we?"

"Being a little exigent now, aren't we?" She said and added quickly "so now you want me to be less difficult to fold to your exigencies." Remus wondered if she was serious or not; she seemed in such a bad mood that he couldn't even tell and he couldn't tell he understand women really well in general.

"Oh please no." he answered laughing lightly "don't let anyone ask you to change, not me or anyone." She raised an eyebrow and she looked at him much more seriously.

"You mean it?" She spoke in almost a whisper; if he wasn't just in front of her he wouldn't have heard it.

"Of course I do. Are you sure you're alright?" He asked concerned.

"I… Yeah I'm fine." She answered and looked away, searching for her glass on the table. She leaned to take it and tripped on the table; she steadied herself holding his forearm. She held him longer than necessary and eventually slid her hand on his. She was looking so sad, though she was trying to hide it with that fake smile she was giving him and everyone else in the room.

"Would you like me to take you back home? I'll tell Molly that we leave if you want."

"Yeah, yes that'd be great." She asked, looking almost relieved and she held in hand tighter.

"Alright, go put your coat on I'll tell Molly." He told her and she was already leaving the room.

"Oh and Remus, can you be discreet, please?" She whispered when she was in the corridor. Remus made a step towards her and left a tender kiss on her forehead.

"Don't worry." He told her reassuringly and he walked back in the kitchen where Mrs Weasley who was with Arthur.

"Molly, I'm taking Tonks home, she's… tired."

"Of course, I'll give her some food, could you wait a minute?" Molly said with her kindest smile. "She's lucky to have you as a friend." She added as she packed some food in a paper bag.

"I'm pretty sure _I_'m the lucky one." Remus said laughing lightly but not daring to look into Molly's eyes when she turned to face him.

"Tonks, here I packed you some food."

"Oh thank you Molly, you really didn't have to!"

"It's my pleasure, really. Have a good night of sleep tonight; you're working so much lately, dear." Mrs Weasley said with a true concerned tone.

"Will do. Good night." Tonks said and waved at Molly before she walked in the corridor. Remus looked one last time at the room and waved at Sirius to inform him he was leaving.

"Make sure she's alright." Molly said in a very quiet voice.

"Don't worry Molly. Goodnight." He said "Goodnight Arthur" he added and he followed Tonks, taking his coat on the way.

She reached for his hand, and they apparated at her apartment. Remus found himself more protective with her than he thought he was: he took care of her, helped her take her coat off, pouring her a glass of fresh water – wondering at some point if it wouldn't actually bother her.

He leaned on the table while she was at the kitchen counter, looking outside the window. He would not ask again if she was alright; if she wasn't she'd tell him at some point. And after several long minutes, she did.

"You know when I was little, the aurors were my idols, my heroes – well with the Holyhead Harpies of course – but I remember seeing some pictures of Mad-Eye on the Daily Prophet because he had caught someone again and I thought 'When I grow up I want to be as good as he is', little did I know he'd be my trainer. However today I actually wondered why I was doing this job. I'm freaking useless. Remember I said there were disappearances? It's a family, a whole family, Remus. There's a little girl, she's 9. How can you do something to a 9 years old girl? What has she done? And I can't do anything. We went to so many houses, asking if someone had seen anything. Nothing, just an empty house. And I can't find her and her family. The ministry doesn't want to speak publicly of this case so no one will know about them – they asked the relatives to remain discreet about them because it wouldn't help the family to make the case public. My arse." She remained silent for a minute, looking down at the still water in her glass. "Do you ever get used to it?" She asked more quietly "I mean, you must have felt the same at some point last time. Do you get used to it? Seeing some people disappear, even die but you can't do anything."

Remus took a long breath, preparing himself to answer the question he had asked himself during the first Order. He knew the answer of course but at that very moment he wondered if he should lie to her or not. He decided not.

"No you don't. You start to live with it at some point, but I can't say you get used to it. I wouldn't be in the Order if I was used to it, neither would Sirius, Mad-Eye, Dumbledore and the others."

"But why can't I do anything?" She asked, her voice broken and tears making their appearances in her eyes. "Why am I so bloody useless? My job is to help those people and I can't fucking do anything about it." Tears were rolling down her cheeks and she was holding her glass so tightly that Remus was surprised it hadn't break into her hand. So he made a few steps towards her, took the glass from her hand and pulled her into a hug and she let herself cry. Remus couldn't do anything about it except stroking her hair and her back saying reassuring words.

"Do you want me to stay here tonight?" He asked when she had stopped crying.

"I didn't even know there was another option." She said with a little laugh and he just kissed the top of her head as a response.

"You must think I'm weak." She added.

"No. No I don't."

"That I'm too young, too stupid to handle all of this." She continued as if he hadn't say anything.

"Nymphadora, listen to me." He said firmly as he took his face in the palm of his hands. "You are not weak. You're human, that is normal to feel the way that you feel. You're stronger than you think."

"But Remus, I just cried and-"

"And so what? You cried, and you have all the right to cry at some point. I'll never think you're weak because of this. You're one of the strongest person I know Dora, and this doesn't change anything. The strongest people have their moments, they are not invincible."

She looked at him, maybe searching in his eyes something that would prove he was lying but she found nothing and she rested her head back on his chest. He kissed her hair before he rested his chin on the top of her head.

They went to bed quietly. It killed Remus to see her so broken, and knowing that he couldn't do anything as much as he wished he could, though she seemed to feel more at peace when he held her tight in bed.

In the middle of the night, Remus woke up feeling Tonks moving as she was sleeping. She was moaning some inaudible words and she was starting to sweat a bit.

"Dora.." He said quietly at first. He sat up, his hand on her waist tracing small patterns wishing it would calm her maybe. She kept moving, it was not big moves and gestures she just seemed un-at-ease while sleeping. He repeated her name more loudly again and again before he almost shouted her full name – no doubt the sound of her full name would wake her up just to say _Don't call me Nymphadora, Remus_.

She opened her eyes in a sudden, and she seemed lost her eyes looking everywhere as if she wondered where she was.

"Dora, it was a nightmare. It's alright." Remus whispered and she sat up leaning on his chest.

"It's fine. It was only a nightmare." He repeated stroking her hair while she started to breathe more slowly again.

"They were in the house." She started "They took the girl and I was running but I couldn't catch her and I didn't have my wand. They took the girl and the parents and I… and I."

"Shhh it's alright, now." He repeated hoping it would calm her down. He knew it wasn't _alright_ the family was still missing, but at that moment he didn't know what else he could say.

"Remus, I… I couldn't." She repeated.

"It was only a bad dream." He stroked her back up and down for some minutes again, leaving kisses on top of her head hoping this would reassure her. He felt useless.

"I need a glass of water." She said after a long silence.

"Do you want me to-"

"No, it's fine I need to get this out of my head." She said and he moved herself onto the sheets and left the bedroom. Remus waited on the bed, sitting, not trusting himself to stay awake if he lay down. He waited quite a few minutes before she came back; she smiled sadly at him when she entered the room and he returned it. Her eyes were still shiny from the few tears which had rolled on her cheeks. She didn't walk towards her side of the bed but to his, so he opened his arms and snuggled into his chest. He made her sit on his lap and he held her tight against him, hoping he could protect her from the rest of the world, though he knew desperately that he couldn't. But for one night he would pretend he could.

"I don't know what I'd do without you." She said her warm cheek placed against the skin of his chest.

"It seems to me that you never needed me." He said smiling at the idea. It was true, she didn't need him. He wasn't someone she could need; he had nothing to bring her. She just shook her head as an answer.

"Do you want to go back to sleep?" He added.

"No. Can we wait a few more minutes?" She asked, looking into his eyes hopefully.

"Alright." He said and realized that once again he could never say no to her. However, they moved to get into the sheets again and she snuggled into his chest again and Remus couldn't help but leaving kisses in her hair a few times. He moved a few inches away, only to look at her. She seemed a bit better, as if she was forgetting a bit about this bad dream she had just had. He pressed his lips on hers tenderly at first, surprised by her more passionate response. He kept a hand in her hair while hers were wandering on his chest. He pulled her closer to him and got an approving moan from her so he kept kissing her, not that he minded. He stopped kissing but let his head close to hers, his nose was stroking her neck and his warm breath ended on the skin.

"Thank you." She whispered. He moved away to look at her as he asked:

"What for?"

"For not freaking out when I woke you up in the middle of the night. Because I did wake you up, didn't I?"

"Yes, you did. But it's alright, I'm glad I woke up so I could have awake you from this bad dream."

"But you're working tomorrow, you'll be tired."

"It doesn't matter." He spoke the words not an inch away from her lips.

"Thank you." She repeated and he shook his head a little before he kissed her again. This time the kiss was tender and slow, she let him prove that it didn't matter. This kiss was his way to prove her what he was saying.

"Goodnight Dora." He whispered against her lips.

"Goodnight Remus."

He kissed her cheek and her forehead before he closed his eyes. Then he firmly put his arm around her waist, hoping that he could, at least, protect her from the nightmares in her own head.

In the morning, the alarm clock rang and Remus cut it quickly. He opened his eyes and saw his favourite pink-haired witch in front of him. She hadn't wake up for the rest of the night, or at least he really doubted she had.

"You still have 5 more minutes, love." He whispered in her ear. She moaned something but it was really inaudible; either it wasn't a real word because she was too sleepy or it was a word and she was too sleepy to actually utter it correctly. He left a quick kiss in her hair and got up.

As usual, when he stayed the night with her, he prepared her breakfast. He prepared her cereal, her glass of orange juice and a little piece of chocolate. He put the milk in the bowl and walked back in the bedroom to wake her up. Remus realized that her nightmare had been quite tiresome and so he sat on the edge of the bed, moving the hair that was falling on her eyes.

"Dora, love. It's time to wake up." He said quietly.

"Hm donwanto" She mumbled against the pillow.

"I know, I have to admit I'd rather spend a few hours again with you in bed too." He said smiling at the idea. That'd be nice.

She moaned again.

"Come on, don't want to be tickled at 7am, do you?"

"Hm too early you'd kill me." She said chuckling.

"Well, get up."

"You could say it more nicely." She asked smiling, though her eyes were still closed.

"Dora, beautiful. It's time to get up, I prepared your breakfast and I already put the milk in your cereals. So, my love, would you please get up? ... please." She moaned but approvingly this time and she opened her eyes. She turned on her back and looked at him, beaming.

"Hello." He said laughing lightly and he kissed her softly. "Feeling good today?" He asked trying to sound casual.

"Yeah, I think I'm feeling a bit better."

"Good." He said and she moved from the bed.

Too soon it was already time for them to go to their works. They were heading to the door about to put their coats on when Tonks walked in front of him and said smiling:

"I want a real big kiss before I leave for work."

"How big?" He asked as he put his arms around her, pulling her closer to him.

"How about _very_ big." She said and she jumped to put her legs around his waist with his help. They kissed a _very_ big goodbye kiss; her hands in his hair while they were kissing. Too bad they had to leave Remus thought and he had no doubt she was thinking the exact same thing.

* * *

_Hey everyone! I hope you liked it. This one is a bit more about Tonks, but I think that's the kind of moments she could have, the kind of moments anyone would have at some point actually. Please tell me what you think of it! I'd be glad to know :) If you have some moments you'd like to see in this story don't hesitate to tell me, really._

_Have a good day everyone. :) _


	36. Valentine's day

_Clementine: Too many guys think I'm a concept, or I complete them, or I'm gonna make them alive. But I'm just a fucked-up girl who's lookin' for my own peace of mind; don't assign me yours. _  
_Joel: I remember that speech really well. _  
_Clementine: I had you pegged, didn't I? _  
_Joel: You had the whole human race pegged. _  
_Clementine: Hmm. Probably. _  
_Joel: I still thought you were gonna save my life... even after that. _  
_Clementine: Ohhh... I know. _  
_Joel: It would be different, if we could just give it another go-round. _  
_Clementine: Remember me. Try your best; maybe we can._

_Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind_

* * *

_Tonks' point of view_

It was the 14th of February, and as Tonks woke up she wondered if today would be a special day. Remus didn't seem like the kind of man who cared about that, not that she cared very much either and they hadn't speak about this either – except when they agreed on a no gift rule for this day. She was pretty sure that nothing would be special, maybe he would come over though it had been a few nights he hadn't come and she missed him.

She opened the door, about to leave for work and she glanced at the little carpet. There was a brown paper bag.

"Specialis Revelio" She said with a little waver of her wand but nothing happened so she took it inside of her house.

She opened it and there was a box of cream cheese with a card.

_Dora,_

_I hope this won't be too cheesy for you. Be ready for 7:30pm. _

_Love, Remus._

_PS: You'll be delighted to know that your dear cousin helped preparing this. Put comfy clothes. _

She had something planned. He had thought of it. Even though it was a commercial thing, just the fact that he wanted to do something made her happy. That would be a long day. And the thing with Remus, he never put pressure on her; she didn't have to be someone else for him. There was no pressure, only that feeling she always had, that feeling burning in her chest, but it was only of pure happiness and love, as _cheesy_ as it sounded.

The day was long indeed, and she couldn't care less about her fabulous colleagues' remarks about her hair and look, or clumsiness. She never really cared actually. Mad-Eye and Kingsley knew what she was capable of and they trusted her enough. They had trusted her enough to talk about the Order to her so since that day she never really cared about anything because it symbolised the best proof that Mad-Eye trusted her.

She remembered the first time he had seen her; he had chosen her for marks and so, only an her file.

_"You always have your hair pink?" He asked._

_"Yes. Trust me, my mother tried to make me change, never succeeded as you can see. You can try but you'll fail just as the same." She said in a very confident tone, her appearance was something she never changed – expect for a good fun, or during her exam of Concealment and Disguise. Kinglsey looked at her as if she had just sworn in front of the Queen. Mad-Eye looked at her for some long seconds but she didn't look down – she wanted to but she kept thinking 'Show him you're confident. You've succeeded your Auror exams for Merlin's sake!'. Then she would have sworn she had seen Mad Eye's lips curl a little and he turned to look at Kinglsey. _

_"I'll take her." He turned back to her "you'll finish your training with me." He told her and she knew that she had the best trainer._

_"So, metamorphmagus, uh?" He said as they walked to his office. "You can change into anyone, right?" He asked_

_"Yes." She said and she morphed her face into Fudge a few seconds. "You didn't choose me only because I'm a metamorphmagus, did you?" _

_"No, no I didn't." He only said and though she would have like some answers about why he had chosen her, she didn't ask. Mad-Eye took off his magical eye to clean it and Tonks looked at him, her eyebrows raised in surprise._

_"But that's disgusting." She said and a second after she would have slapped herself for speaking her thought aloud. Not because she was in the office that he couldn't throw her out of this office. _

_"Your mother didn't teach you to shut up, did she?" Mad-Eye told her, cleaning his eyes in a little glass of water._

_"She tried. She also tried to make me be a Lady, polite and stuffs. As you can see, she failed." _

_"Well, I hope you know how to shut your mouth when we're in mission at least, Nymphadora." _

_"Tonks, call me Tonks, not Nymphadora. And yes I know how to shut up but we're not in a mission here, are we?" She actually found it easy to be at ease with Mad-eye, though she did not know why._

_"No, but Constant Vigilance is the key to success in this job if you want to stay alive. Though, I hope you're not an Auror to be famous, you'll fail." _

_"I'll remember these words." She said and he put his magical eye back in place. He took a file on his desk, opened it quickly and closed it._

_"Well, let's see what you've got." He said and he got up. She followed him, and tripped on a box that was on the floor in his office. He turned to look at her, raising an eyebrow in surprise. _

_"Oh, maybe that wasn't written in my file but I'm a little bit clumsy." She said smiling hoping he wouldn't throw her out of his office. He looked at her a few more seconds, shook his head and kept walking. _

When she remembered of this mission she couldn't help but smile. It had turned quite right and she had fought a few wizards and they all finished tied down on the floor and Mad-Eye had looked at her approvingly for a second maybe before he made a remark. Of course, he never admitted that she was doing well, and she was sure he'd never do so but she didn't mind because she knew his way of showing it.

"Hello Tonks." The Auror department clerk said. Bartus Carvange was a young man who had tried the Auror examination but failed so they put him here and he didn't seem to mind that much.

"Hi." She said politely as always.

"Happy Valentine's day Tonks." He said and she looked at him bemused.

"Uh… thanks." She answered not really knowing what to say. She had noticed that he was a bit flirty with her sometimes but he was not her type at all. He was not very tall, just a bit taller than her, he had black hair a bit messy, he was thin and he always had a sheepish look which she found annoying with time. He was wearing bigger clothes for him – maybe hoping he would look bigger – and he wasn't that smart, well he was book smart but in real life he wasn't.

"Doing something for Valentine's day?" He asked. _Holy bloody shit_ she thought, he would ask her out, wouldn't he?

"Well, yes, a quiet night with friends."

"Oh that's too bad we could have gone out tonight, a bit more in the Valentine's day mood." Why was he insisting?

"Yeah." She said and at that moment, she realized that was the lamest answer she could give.

"Another time maybe?" He asked. _No, never _she thought.

"Well, I don't know. I'm very busy." She said, or maybe _this_ was the lamest answer possible?

"You can't stay single all your life because of your job." _Stay polite, stay polite._

"Well, _actually_ I can if I _want_ to."

"_Well, actually_, you'll realize that you can't do that too long and you'll see that you won't have any better offer than me. So we can skip the part when you want to be a lady so you turn me down the first time I ask you out." He said, _alright now I don't have to be polite anymore. _

"I'll repeat what I've just said, alright? I would rather stay single my whole life, and be a cat lady rather than go out with you, even for just one date. And _big news_ I can have better offer than you, actually I can have _so much better_ than you." she said, in a quiet tone with her best smile.

Mad-Eye unfortunately assisted at the scene, without her realizing before she turned to walk back to her office. He didn't say anything but he just raised an eyebrow at her, looking from Carvange to Tonks and she shrugged as an answer.

"Do your job." Mad-Eye said in a sharp tone. "Tonks, your report about Black?" He asked in a much nicer tone – nice by Mad-Eye of course.

"On your desk."

"Alright, you can leave for today."

"Thanks, see you tomorrow."

"Yeah. Tomorrow and not late." He said but it wasn't an angry remark.

"Sorry, I'll be in time tomorrow."

"I think you told me the exact same thing yesterday." He said and waved for her to leave; she smiled at him amused and left.

Tonks was usually late when there were no important missions – well, to be precise, every time she knew she had paper work she found it hard to get up.

It was 6 pm and she was back to her apartment thinking about what she would wear. _Comfy_. What the hell had he prepared for her? With Sirius help. She was a bit scared. She opened her cupboard looking at what to wear and she chose a pair of navy blue short, with tights and a big cream colored woolen sweater and her favorite pair of thing black boots.

And she waited, listening to music and dancing until she heard a knock on the door. As she opened the door she hoped he hadn't heard her sing because for someone who couldn't kept her mouth shut when there was music, she sang quite badly.

"Wotcher." She said when she opened the door.

"Hello." He walked in and kissed her tenderly on the lips making her weak in the knees.

"Had a good day?" she asked when they broke apart.

"Yes, you?" By his answer she knew he didn't want to talk about work, and she couldn't say she minded.. at all.

"Fine."

"You look absolutely beautiful." He told her looking at her from head to toes, looking back into her eyes. He ran his fingers through her hair and she let her head lean in the palm of his head.

"Remus, really? I look just as the same as always. It's not like I was wearing a marvellous black dress with high heels." She said raising an eyebrow at him. She liked teasing him for always being so nice and polite.

"And that's exactly why you are beautiful. I love your pretty face." He said before he slid his finger under her chin to kiss her again.

"You're not too bad yourself, either." She said just an inch from his lips and she kissed him again. "I love your handsome face." She saw him blush a little; he didn't seem to get used to her compliments.

"So, ready to leave?" He asked trying to change the subject.

"I am! Where are we going?" She said as she put her dark green coat, her blue beanie hat and her light brown scarf

"Surprise."

"I'm actually scared you know, I mean, you asked for Sirius's help!" She said and he laughed lightly.

"You'll see."

"Merlin's sake you're not gonna say anything, are you?"

"No." He quietly said and he took her hand in his, entwining his fingers with hers. She closed the door and they apparated in a place that Tonks didn't know.

It was an endless land covered in snow, there was a forest on one side and on the other side it seemed to be an iced lake. It was utterly peaceful, and beautiful.

"Wow." She said because she didn't know what else she could say, this place was marvellous.

"We used to come here with Sirius, James and.." She knew he meant to say 'Peter' but she's never heard Remus say this name since the day he explained to her the story of how and why Sirius was really innocent in details. "One day, Lily came with us but she wasn't really fond of the iced lake, though James kept trying to help her, she would go a few meters on and then she'd go back on earth."

"That's so beautiful. Everything's so white it's crazy." Tonks said looking around and Remus laughed lightly at her comment.

"So ready to ice skate, my dear?"

"But I don't have any proper–" she started but Remus took at his wand. "Oh, of course." She said laughing lightly.

Remus helped her step on the iced lake and pointed his wand at her shoes and did a silent spell. A blade appeared under her shoes and she could start skating, though she waited for him to do the same to his shoes.

"It's been a long time I haven't done it." He said laughing as he started sliding a few meters. He took Tonks' hand and helped her; she realized that being clumsy wouldn't help her that much.

They turned, raced, and laughed. They laughed a lot, and fell. They fell a lot too – Well, to be more accurate, Tonks fell a lot and Remus caught her, or helped her get up, or fell with her some times.

Tonks couldn't tell how long they were on the iced lake but the sun had went down but Remus had taken his wand and made a ball of light floating above them as they moved.

Remus had let Tonks skate alone a bit but she slid towards him anyway. She reached out for his hands and he pulled her closer to him.

"This utterly, and completely perfect." She said and she bit her lips still surprised of the perfection of the place.

"I knew you'd like it. I'll tell Sirius you did."

"How much did Sirius help you?" She asked curiously.

"Well, I didn't want to make something boring romantic and I told him this, and we searched together a cool place to go and we remembered all the cool places we've been when we were young."

"Well, trust me this is amazingly great." She said and she wrapped her arms around his waist.

"Happy Valentine's day, Dora." He whispered in her ear.

"Happy Valentine's day, Remus." She said back and she realized that, for once, these words sounded fine, very fine actually. It wasn't important that it was Valentine's Day; it didn't add anything to their relationship. It was only an excuse to spend some time together – not that they even needed that.

When they got a bit tired, Tonks insisted that they lay on the iced lake, Remus didn't seem really fond of the idea but she made him her best look so he couldn't say no.

They were looking at the sky; it was stupid to think that looking at the sky was something cute in the movie. It's not great in itself unless you're a star lovers. Tonks didn't care about the sky and the stars, she just wanted to lay next to Remus, in this amazingly beautiful place and try to get this memory forever in her head.

Naturally, their hands found one another and they fingers were entwined together.

"So tell me, do you know what… I don't know, this star is?" Tonks asked pointing at a star that was a bit bigger than the others, but she couldn't help but laugh.

"Well Nymphadora, I could pretend I do know a lot about the stars but, unfortunately, I wasn't exactly concentrated in astronomy class thanks to my dear friends. Stupid young me, I should have known that I could get a girl talking about the stars."

Tonks laughed at his comment, she actually loved Remus' humour, and it was one of the things that had made her love him she always thought. The way he could tell a joke without laughing and then a little smile would appear in the corner of his lips.

She turned her face to look at him, she could see his profile. A scar on his cheek and another starting on his nose but that never made him look less handsome. He was smiling. He had such a loveable face, she thought and she moved forward to kiss him on the cheek. He smiled widened and she felt contented with herself.

She removed her hand from his, and snuggled onto him. He put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer to him in a way she loved, in a way that made her feel loved and protected, as if the world had vanished around them. He replaced her blue hat on her head and smiled approvingly when it was well covering her ears.

"I don't want you to get cold because of me."

"And that you won't get cold because I wanted to lie on iced water." Tonks answered laughing lightly.

"So I hope it's wasn't too silly for you, I didn't want to bring you in a crowded restaurant when we wouldn't have been able to actually hear what we're saying."

"I told you, this is perfect." She said and she kissed him. "You're utterly, completely and madly perfect." She said against his lips before she kissed him again.

"I'm a lot of things, and perfect is not one of them." He said laughing sarcastically.

"Alright, I'll explain a little thing to you. If you want me to end up in your bed tonight, you'd rather agree with what I'm saying." She said trying to contain her laugh.

"Alright Miss Tonks."

"So when I say I love you, you believe me, and when I say you're perfect, you trust me. Because I don't say you flawless, you snore and you're a bit of bad loser sometimes too, but I still think you're perfect. You're imperfectly perfect. So when I say that, you trust me, alright?" She said looking at him, leaning on his chest.

"I always trust you." He said quietly. "Though, I do have a question." Tonks shook her head knowing by his mischievous tone. "Do I really snore?"

"Trust me, you do." She said laughing "but I don't mind because I'm quicker to fall asleep than you. See how things are well done?"

"Perfect." He said before she kissed him, tenderly trying to say everything she'd love to say but she was clumsy with words. She wished sometimes that she could use them as good as he could.

After some long kisses on the lake they decided to head back to his home where there were some cakes – her favourite ones and the chocolate ones prepared on the table.

"I'm sorry I didn't prepare you a real dinner."

"'Re you kidding me?" She asked her mouth already full. "I'll make you cakes with the cream cheese you gave me!" She said laughing lightly at the idea. _Yep_, she would cook cakes. Maybe she would ask Molly her recipes.

"It's so much better than a proper dinner, though my mum would totally tell you how bad our health is and that we ought to be more careful." She added and she took another cake.

"Good thing there's just the two of us." He said before he kissed the top of her head and she leaned her head on his chest; she could feel his chin on top and everything felt perfect. She was home wherever she was as long as he was there too.

They ate and went to bed quickly, spending a proper Valentine's night.

In the morning, the alarm clock rang and Tonks didn't want to get up, though she did feel utterly happy when she woke up – anyway, with the night she had had she couldn't feel anything but happy… well, tired maybe.

"I'll prepare everything; you can stay a little more in bed if you want." Remus whispered in her ear. He was so thoughtful with her and she was sure she didn't deserve any of this.

She stayed in bed until Remus left the shower, and then she took one too and walked to the kitchen.

"Valentine's day was yesterday you don't have to prepare my breakfast." She said looking at the table where her bowl was waiting for her.

"I actually enjoy doing all of this, so as long as you don't find that annoying I'll continue." He said in a casual tone, pouring himself another cup of coffee.

She walked towards him and placed both her hands on the back of his head making him look at her.

"I love you." She said firmly before she pressed her lips against his. She could feel Remus smiling against her lips – well, maybe that was a bit weird to say this out of the blue and so firmly.

"I love you too Dora." He said against her lips when they broke apart and he left another kiss on her lips before he moved his lips to her forehead.

They ate breakfast talking about their evening on the iced lake and like every morning, they had to go to work. They agreed on having dinner with Sirius tonight at Grimmauld Place, and Tonks threw herself in his arms kissing him passionately.

"I can't believe I have to go back to reality again." She said, still holding him tight, feeling his hands under her shirt in the small of her back.

"Yes, but I'll see you tonight."

"Exactly." She said and he put her back on her feet. He kissed the tip of her nose and they left for their respective jobs.

* * *

_Hey everyone! I hope you like this one; it's not very very long but I wrote it just today but I wanted to give you something before the end of the week. Again, don't hesitate to tell me what you like/dislike, but you know that now, don't you? :) _

_I wish you a very good day! _

_PS: The quote is from an AMAZING movie, if you haven't watched it yet, I really advise you too. I love this one it's seeing a picture of it that inspired me this chapter._


	37. A gentleman

_"You don't have to have money to make it in this world. You don't have to be skinny baby if you wanna be my girl, oh, you just gotta be happy but sometimes that's hard so just remember to smile, smile, smile and that's a good enough start" McFly_ - _Smile_

* * *

Remus was in his house, waiting for Tonks to arrive. They had taken the habit of coming to one another, some days he would go to hers and the others she would come to his. That day was usually one when she should come, but she was already half an hour 'late' when Remus saw her patronus running in the middle of the room.

"Sorry, I'm sick. I don't think I will come. See you soon." Her voice said. Did she actually think that he would stay at his house knowing that she was sick?

Remus grabbed his coat and left for her apartment; he opened the door without knocking, put his coat on the coatrack and walked to her room.

"Dora." He said raising an eyebrow disapprovingly.

"What are you doing here?" She mumbled her face lying flat on the pillow.

"Well, I wasn't going to let you here alone."

"It's fine. _I_'m fine." She insisted but he walked towards the bed anyway.

"Look at me."

She moaned but turned her face to look at him. She was pale and she looked tired, she kept sniffing and her hair was very messy and, actually less pink. Remus placed his hand softly on her forehead but she avoided his eyes.

"You're hot." He said quietly.

"On any other day I would have like hearing you say these words but they don't have the same effect right now."

"I'll go check what you have to heal." He said only smiling at her little comment.

Remus found nothing in her bathroom, or in her potion cupboard. Well, nothing to heal flu anyway – though she had some weird ingredients like hippogriff's dool. Seeing nothing good enough, Remus decided to contact Molly by the fireplace because as a mother of 7 kids she would know what to do. And indeed, without further hesitation she said she would come.

Remus came back to her bed and sit next to her, on the side of the bed.

"I talked to Molly." He said quietly, moving the hair that was falling on her eyes away.

"You're overreacting Remus." She moaned "I'm fine, really." She insisted.

"No, you're not." He said, smiling at her stubbornness.

"It's just I got a little cold, you know my nose and well my throat hurt a bit but I'm fine though."

"Well, I hope you don't even think you'll go to work tomorrow." He asked because he knew that she could actually want to go to work sick as hell.

"I'll be fine tomorrow."

"No way I'll let you go to work, Dora."

"Remus!" She tried to shout but ended coughing hard.

They heard the sound of someone coming by the fireplace and Remus got up to open the door to Molly.

"Hello Molly. I'm sorry but there's nothing here and she's pretty sick." He said in his polite tone.

"Don't worry Remus, you did not bother me at all. Where is she?"

"She's in her room."

Tonks had sat up on the bed and had tried to tidy her hair a bit.

"Hello Molly, I'm really sorry. Remus is overreacting. It's nothing, really."

"I'm not overreacting, Tonks."

"You are." She said like a stubborn kid.

"I'm not."

"You are."

"Tonks." Remus said trying to stop this interaction going nowhere.

"Well, I brought some potions I usually give when someone get sick at home." Molly said, searching in her bag.

Remus walked along the bed and placed his hand on Tonks's forehead again.

"I don't think she's having too much temperature." He started "How do you feel?" He asked in a much tender voice. "Honestly." He added after a little time. He moved his hand to her hair, stroking it lightly. Tonks let a defeated sigh before she answered.

"Well, I have a cold but I have a tough headache too, and my stomach hurts too. Oh and my throat is so scratchy it's a weird sensation."

"Tonks, my dear I think you'll be in bed for some days." Molly said and she put some potions on Tonks's bedside.

"You take two spoons of this in the morning and before you go to sleep. You take this one, only before you go to bed and you take that one when your throat hurts too much and you take the last one when you have a headache. Alright?"

Tonks was looking at the little potions a bit lost and she seemed to hesitate before she answered "Uh, Yeah, yeah; ok."

"It's alright Molly, I'll help her with them." Remus said smiling at how relieved Tonks looked when he had said these words.

"Thank you Remus." Tonks said smiling.

"Alright, and I brought you some soup." Molly added.

"You didn't have to, Molly!" Tonks said a bit too loud and she ended up coughing again.

"Really, it was already prepared, it's fine." Molly insisted. "I'm sorry to leave you so early but there is still food in the oven and I can't say I trust Arthur with that. I'll come again tomorrow; see how you are, alright?"

"Thank you, Molly. You're very nice with me." Tonks said with one of her kindest smile.

"You're like family now, you know." Molly said resting a nice hand on Tonks's shoulder. "And I'll say to Arthur to tell Alastor that you can't come to work tomorrow, alright?"

"Thank you Molly!"

"Goodbye Remus, I trust you to take care of her."

"I will." He answered.

"I'll find my way to the fireplace." Molly said and she walked out of the room.

When Molly had left the room Remus walked towards Tonks and placed both his hand on her neck, stroking her jaw with his thumbs. He left a tender kiss on the top of her head and he felt her hand on her wrist.

"Really, Remus, you don't have to stay here. I'll just put a paper on top of each potion to remember which is which."

"I'm not leaving you tonight." Remus before he kissed her forehead.

And indeed, he didn't. Tonks stayed in bed and after he had gotten her some soup he helped her taking the right spoon of potion she fell asleep. Remus, on the other side of the bed read a book while stroking her hair and eventually fell asleep too.

In the morning he got up quietly, trying hard not to wake her up when he had to leave for work. He left a word on her bedside:

_Dora,_

_I prepared you breakfast; please try to eat a bit. This morning, you have to take the purple potion, the green if your throat hurts and the blue if you have a headache. _

_There is still some soup left if you want some for lunch._

_I'll come back when I have finished my day, which should be around 5:30pm or 6pm. _

_Remus._

_PS: I love you, even when you snore all night because of your stuffy nose._

It was a long day for Remus who kept wondering how she was doing and how bored she must be. He hoped that she wouldn't try to go to work anyway and was glad to eventually leave at 5:30pm because he had already done all his work of the day.

Remus hurried to Tonks's apartment and when he opened the door he shouted:

"Dora!" but then he realized that maybe she was asleep and that was not the smartest thing he had done in his day.

"I brought you chocolate –" he said in a quieter voice but then he saw Tonks on the couch ; she was wearing grey sweatpants with a green pullover and a grey sweater on top – _his_ sweater; with Molly sitting in the chair next to her. "Tonks." He finished his sentence. He usually didn't call her 'Dora' when there were people around them because, first no one knew about them, and second, 'Dora' was the name he liked to be the only one giving her - expect her dad of course – but he didn't want people to hear him call her 'Dora' and then use that name. "Hello Molly." He added politely. He took off his coat and hang it on the coatrack.

"Hello Remus."

"Isn't he nice with me?" Tonks said smiling at him. "If I weren't sick I would have given you a hug, Remus." She said with that same sweet smile.

"Don't bother to move." He said as he walked next to her; he placed his hand on her shoulder while she looked up at him. "How are you feeling today?"

"Better, the potions work quite well; though I don't think I've ever slept so much."

"That's one of the side effects." Molly said quietly.

Remus sat on the couch next to Tonks and gave her the chocolate bar.

"Well, I never had so many visits. You have to come when I'm sick and looking horrible."

"You don't look horrible, Tonks. A bit sick, that's it." Molly said in a trying to sound reassuring voice though it seemed to Remus that she wanted to smile.

"Well, I wish I could morph to look better but when I'm sick it's not very good to morph." Tonks said looking at her feet that where on the couch.

"You know Tonks," Molly started "Arthur survived 7 pregnancies, me being as round as a whale, the morning nauseas, the hormones and the changing moods. The people who care don't care about that."

"Yeah, but look: I have a red nose, and my hair can't even be a bright pink, and I'm wearing sweatpants on top of that." Tonks said but she was avoiding Remus's eyes and it came to him. Could she feel self-conscious because of him? She wasn't exactly the kind who was fishing for compliments, or sometimes but she would do it on purpose because it amused her. But, Molly glanced at Remus, she seemed to think the same too.

"Well, your hair isn't bright pink but it's not important it's more like a baby pink, it's nice. And your red nose makes me think of the muggle Christmas, you know _Rudolf the red nose reindeer" _he said murmuring the rhythm of the song _"has a very shiny nose_. And sweatpants suit you Tonks, you're the first always saying that we shouldn't care about what other people think." Remus said quietly and Tonks glanced at him before she looked back at her feet again and Remus decided to take back the chocolate bar she had placed on the armchair, he opened it and gave it a piece of it.

"Eat this, you'll feel better."

"Thank you Remus." She said as she took it.

"Do you want some Molly?"

"No, thank you."

"Remus and his chocolate." Tonks said shaking her head and laughing lightly before she bit the piece of chocolate.

"Well, _my _chocolate as you say, is making you feel better."

"Maybe not _only_ the chocolate" Molly said casually.

Molly looked at them with an approving smile and she got up.

"I'll leave you now, I've been here quite a moment already. Goodbye Remus." She said in with a nice voice. Tonks walked her to the fireplace at the other side of the room.

"Always being a gentleman, isn't he?" Tonks said smiling "He thinks he has to take care of me."

"You know Tonks, I don't think he's being a gentleman here. Let me tell you something, dear, if a man doesn't want to be somewhere, he will find tons of excuses so if he's here now; it is only because he wants to be here. I think you know it too." She said quietly and in a low voice so Remus wouldn't hear and she patted her cheek gently.

"But I have the impression he think it's his duty to be here now."

"Like I told you, this is no duty here. Only a strong caring feeling for you, if not more and I am sure you know more than me about it. I had 7 children I see things and I've noticed how you two are around each other. You can trust me not to tell anyone, though everyone knows that you two have a special friendship."

"Thanks Molly, for everything." Tonks said smiling widely at what she had just heard and Molly left.

She walked back towards Remus and he reached for her when she was just a meter away from him and he pulled her into a hug.

"I think I have the right to get the hug you told me about." He said with a cheeky smile.

"But what if I'm contagious; I don't want you to get sick."

"Don't worry for me Dora, I'm tough."

"Perks of being a wolf a night a month?" She said with a smile in the corner of her lips.

"Kind of. By the way, my sweater suits you very much."

"Oh sorry, I got cold and there it was on top of the couch and well I thought I'd be much more comfortable with it."

"I like seeing you in my clothes." He said laughing in her hair, making her shiver with his breath in her neck.

"Oh I didn't tell you. Thank you for loving me even when I snore all night because of my stuffy nose and sorry if you couldn't sleep well because of me." She said, her head resting on his chest. He left another kiss on the top of her head.

"You'll have to do worse than that if you don't want me to love you anymore." He said laughing lightly.

"I'll try my best to make you love me for long."

"Well, that's good for me because I got used loving you."

"Well that's a very good habit."

"That's what I thought." He answered smiling.

Remus stepped back and put a finger under her chin to make her look up at him, he leaned towards about to kiss her but she moved away.

"Really, you shouldn't kiss me I'm sick."

"Don't care." He said and he pressed his lips against her. Though she was sick, it didn't change that special feeling he had every time he kissed her.

"Your lips still taste very good to me." He said inches from her lips.

"I love you, silly." She said with a light laugh.

Remus sat down on the couch and opened his arms for Tonks to join him and she sat next to him, resting her head on his shoulder.

"Have you read the Daily Prophet?" He asked.

"Yes. They think Umbridge should take Dumbledore's place because he's too old to be headmaster."

"Yeah. This isn't a good sign; they're trying to get rid of him because he believes Harry."

"This boy doesn't deserve all of this. They want to make him feel alone. He's just a kid."

"Yes, but they don't care about that, do they?"

"No, but how can you have so much power and be so stupid?"

"Well, that's a question I asked myself a lot last time." Remus said with a sad smile. "So, let's not talk about too depressing things tonight. What do you want to eat? I'll prepare dinner for you? You ought to eat a bit more, Dora, I know you were sick but you need to eat a bit."

"Remus" Tonks started moaning.

"No Dora."

"Alright. I'll eat and I think I'll go back to work tomorrow."

"What?"

"Well, I'm feeling better I'm ready to go back."

"We're not discussing this Dora." Remus said quietly and he left a quick kiss on her temple.

"Did you just give me an order?"

"No I didn't."

"Yes you did, Remus Lupin. And you kissed me so you thought I wouldn't have noticed."

"Alright, maybe I know your weaknesses." He said kissing her on her temple again.

"That's easy for you," She started and he kept leaving sweet kisses on her face and on her hair. "Because that's you my weakness." Remus smiled brushing his lips against her skin and he kissed her on the cheek.

"So you're not going to work tomorrow." He asked or affirmed because that wasn't exactly a question.

"But Remus I'm better." She said and coughed at the end of her sentence.

"You're not better; the potion just started working if you go to work you'll just make it worse. Stay one more day so you will _really_ feel better and then you'll go back to work. You said yourself that you slept a lot." Remus explained quietly.

"Alright." She said defeated.

"So now, what do you want for dinner, sweetheart?"

"I don't know, see what's in my fridge and cook what you want." She started and when he got up she added "oh and leave me the chocolate." She said casually.

"No chocolate before dinner, love."

"But why?" She asked her eyes opened wide in surprise.

"Because I want you to eat what I'm going to cook, you'll have it for desert." He answered and left a tender kiss on top of her head.

"You sound like my mum."

"Really?" He asked before he leaned to kiss her fully on the lips.

"Well, not anymore." She said when they broke apart.

"I prefer this." Remus said smiling against her lips and he went to the kitchen to start cooking. He prepared her a good healthy meal; he did try his best to make her feel better.

Then they spent a quiet time on the couch. Remus sat on the side and Tonks lay down her head resting on his lap while he was stroking his hair in a way that seemed to relax her and him too actually. He read his book again and Tonks closed her eyes, already feeling tired because of the last potion she had taken.

After an hour or two Remus held her to her bedroom and she laughed while he took her in his arms and said that she should have been wearing a white dress.

Two days later

Remus and Tonks were at Grimmauld Place, Sirius had asked them to come to dinner since it had been a few days they couldn't see each other because of her state. They had spent a good night, mostly talking about Umbridge and the rumours in the Daily prophet.

After eating at the table, they moved as usual in the living room. Sirius was sitting in the chair while Tonks and Remus were sitting on the couch. She had already fallen asleep, her head resting on his shoulder. Sirius and Remus talked quite a long time, and Sirius seemed to have been missing company. He stated very clearly that Mundungus couldn't be called company because talking about _fucking_ cauldrons for four _fucking_ hours couldn't be called actually talking and he had wished he could have left this house.

Tonks moved a bit and moaned a bit but replaced herself on his shoulder. Remus grabbed her hand, tracing patterns with his thumb on top of it.

"She's still tired from being sick. She just went back to work today."

"Yeah she was a bit too quiet today, wasn't she? And a bit clumsier too."

"Yeah that's true."

"So you've taken care of her?"

"Well I've tried my best."

Tonks started waking up a bit and Sirius laughed lightly at how sleepy she was. She seemed to have forgotten where she was.

"Do you want to go back home?" Remus asked quietly.

"If you don't mind." She said in a very low voice almost inaudible.

"Well, Sirius, you don't mind if we leave?" Remus asked with a polite smile.

"Only if you come back soon." Sirius said with a smile on the corner of his lips.

"I think we can manage that." Tonks answered with a hoarse voice. Sirius laughed lightly and walked them out of the room in the kitchen.

Remus helped Tonks putting on her coat and handed her the light brown scarf she was wearing that day.

"You really got the most polite and mannered man, haven't you?" Sirius joked.

"Why everyone think I'm always a gentleman or something?"

"Because you are, always were and I'm pretty sure always will."

"Well, he's not _just_ a gentleman but if I start we won't leave before dawn so."

"Thank you Nymphadora. See?" Remus said pointing to Tonks proudly.

"If you want the truth Sirius, Remus is different when he's surrounding by people and when we're just the two of us. Sure it was the same when he was with you at Hogwarts." Tonks said smiling, and Remus put his arm around her shoulders proudly pulling her closer to him.

"Well, Remus did pretend he was the nice guy at Hogwarts but merlin he did plan one of our best pranks with us."

Remus just laughed at the memories and Tonks seemed to hold him even tighter.

"Are we going home now?" Remus asked looking at Tonks.

"Yeah, let's go home." Tonks answered smiling. Sirius looked at them smiling approvingly and Tonks gave Sirius a kiss on the cheek before she left. Remus waved goodbye and the left the house.

They apparated to Remus's house; Tonks made herself comfortable putting off her shoes and coat. She poured herself a glass of water and Remus walked behind her and slid his arms around her waist.

"You'll spend the weekend here?" He said quietly in her ear.

"I thought we had ended this politeness." She said laughing.

"Well, I just check you still want to be here once in a while."

"Trust me Remus, if I didn't want to spend time with you I wouldn't. But I'm here and there's no other place I would rather be."

"Alright, alright I won't ask anymore unless I notice that you don't want anymore."

"What? Are you saying that I looked like I didn't want to be here?"

"No, sorry." He said laughing lightly at her reaction and he left kisses on her neck down her shoulder.

She turned to face him and took his face in her hands and looked at him several seconds. When she looked at him this way he felt confident and loved and he would smile because this look made him happier than anything and then she eventually kissed him.

* * *

_Hey everyone! I hope you like this one :) I had it in mind because everyone was sick around me last week haha so I thought it'd be sweet. _

_By the way, I've seen the movie __The Silver Linings Playbook__, it's really great and fun and touching too so I advise everyone to see it if you can because it's really great. I've started reading the book it's amazingly funny! _

_Have a good day :D_


	38. A long mission

_"In my arms is a woman who has given me a Skywatcher's Cloud Chart, a woman who knows all my secrets, a woman who knows just how messed up my mind is, how many pills I'm on, and yet she allows me to hold her anyway. There's something honest about all of this, and I cannot imagine any other woman lying in the middle of a frozen soccer field with me - in the middle of a snowstorm even - impossibly hoping to see a single cloud break free of a nimbostratus." __The Silver Linings Playbook__ - Matthew Quick._

* * *

It had been more than two weeks that Remus had left on a mission to see several werewolves pack in the North of England. More than two weeks that Sirius had seen that look on his face saying _I wish I didn't have to do that_. But Remus was a nice man, and he would do his duty no matter how much he hated that. Sirius had seen how Tonks hadn't left him the few days before he had to leave, and Remus didn't seem willing to leaver either actually. They were always holding hands, Tonks never missed an occasion to hug him and hold him tight.

Sirius had actually been quite bored without his friend usually coming, every Wednesday during lunch break. Remus had had a job and he had expressed to Sirius his doubts on whether he would manage to get his job back or no.

Tonks had come a lot to Grimmauld Place during these two weeks, hoping to find someone who would reassure her and who would understand her. Since no one knew about them, no one would understand why she was worrying that much.

Remus had written once to Sirius to say that things were going alright and that he would try to make it a surprise for Tonks when he would come back. Though, he had also said that these two weeks away would maybe show her that she could find much better but Sirius had seen her these days and she couldn't care less about the other men. Even Charlie Weasley who was in town for the week, who was one of her friends at Hogwarts had heard about Remus. Indeed, Sirius had heard one of their conversations and she was talking about how a great man Remus was and such a shame it was that he couldn't be here for the moment because she would have love to introduce him to Charlie.

Remus shouldn't be away for very long now, and the Order members who had come today as friends and not colleagues to wish Shacklebolt a happy birthday.

Everyone was chatting, laughing, joking tonight. It wasn't a normal Order Meeting. It wasn't even an Order Meeting actually, it was a little party for Kingsley's birthday and Sirius could only agree with Molly on this point. It would do well to everyone to have a little fun time and anyway, there would be another Order Meeting in two day so the important subjects would still be treated.

As Sirius was listening to one of Arthur's story, he saw a figure enter the room and as it came closer he had no doubt it was his friend Remus Lupin.

"I heard there was a party for my old friend Shacklebolt and no one is inviting me." Remus said as he stepped into the kitchen.

"You're here." Tonks said looking at him with wide eyes, biting her lower lip. They both made a step towards the other and Remus lifted her up and held her tight. "I missed you." She said while in his arms and then she seemed to whisper some words in his ear that no one could understand – except Remus which must have been the point.

"Ahem." Sirius decided to cough a little bit because it might have been a whole minute they were hugging each other and well, there were people around them. Remus put her back on the floor and was blushing madly for several seconds. He then shook hand with the men and gave a one arm hug to the women everyone saying the same words "glad you're back." "How're you doing Lupin?" and when he came to Sirius, Remus gave him a wide smile.

"I hope you weren't too bored without me." Remus said with a grin on his face.

"Well, Tonks kept me company." Sirius answered and they manly hugged each other. "She was quite bored without you too." He said in a lower voice so not everyone would hear that.

Remus shook hand with Mad-Eye and again he was face to face with Tonks. They smile at each other like two teenagers sharing a joke and she slid her arms around his neck again, holding him tight.

"Let the man breathe." Sirius said laughing lightly.

"You're jealous because I've got two." Tonks said and she stuck her tongue at him.

"Oh very mature." Sirius said frowning.

"Want me to tell what you've done two days-"

"No, fine." Sirius said quickly.

"You'll tell me?" Remus asked Tonks in a soft voice but Tonks didn't say anything, she looked from Remus to Sirius with a mischievous smile.

Tonks had spent most of her free time there or at her parent's house. She had managed to make an exchange of letters possible between Andromeda and Sirius and for that he was really glad. But she kept being concerned for Remus, knowing that he wouldn't be enjoying himself wherever he was. However these two weeks made him closer to his dear little cousin who had very much in common with him actually and he grew even fonder of her – showing her in his own way. First, he had let her hug him some times and when he noticed how thoughtful and sad she seemed sitting on the couch, her look lost in the middle of nowhere he put his arm around her shoulder and she seemed to understand that he was there for her.

Sirius had found some of his family back and it seemed to make him in a better mood, forgetting _a little_ about this awful house he was stuck in. Andromeda had wrote him that Tonks had explained that he was innocent and she told him that actually, she wasn't that surprised because she couldn't imagine him betraying his best friends he kept talking about when he was younger – though she had thought that the war had make him mad and he didn't know what he was doing. She said she wished to see him again when things will be better and he will be able to leave the house; though right now he should do what was best for him. She wrote that she had meet Remus Lupin and he seemed a nice man. She didn't say anything about a relationship between him and Tonks, _Merlin if she knew_, Sirius thought while he read those few lines about Remus.

He asked Tonks if she minded that her family didn't know about she and Remus and she answered that she didn't. She said that she could have him all by herself while no one knew. Though she added she hoped that one day he would tell because she really didn't care that he was a werewolf and she was ready to undertake everything and to be with him, no matter what some people would say. However she understood Remus's worries even if she didn't full agree with him, she understood and she'll let him take his time. And apparently, Molly Weasley knew about them because she simply guessed.

Though Tonks let go of Remus; he didn't seem very eager to let her go too far from him. He stood just next to her, their arms innocently touching and he kept glancing at her from time to time and she would just smile shyly. Tonks had this sweet look as if she couldn't really believe that he was really here, really next to her and he seemed quite happy at the moment. Sirius had no doubt that he would have things to say after this mission and again, no doubt that it would make him a bit more insecure again but right now he didn't seem to care. Nymphadora was good for him, because Sirius was sure she was the only reason why he seemed so happy.

"Oh Remus, I don't think you've ever met my son Charlie, he's here for the week." The other ginger head walked towards Remus and shook his head.

"Remus Lupin."

"I've known Charlie at Hogwarts. We were pranks mate for some times, weren't we?" Tonks said smiling but still standing close to Remus, no doubt if she could she would still have her arms around him.

"Yeah, right. We met in detention. It's weird to now meet some Professors who've put me in detentions like ten years ago."

"Remus's been a Professor too." Tonks said, smiling tenderly at Remus who had put his polite mask as always.

"Well, for a year only. I was teaching Defense Against The Dark Arts."

"The cursed job."

"Exactly."

"Well, you should have stayed rather than.. what's her name again? Um-something."

"Umbridge." Remus corrected.

"Yeah, that one."

"Well I don't doubt the twins are doing their best to make her life hell." Tonks said laughing at the idea.

"I hope so." Charlie said but Molly shot him an angry glare and he added "wouldn't be good for their studies though."

"Of course." Remus said smiling. It made Sirius smile too, Mrs Weasley still had an influence on her now adults kids. Charlie joined Mad-Eye's conversation and Tonks was looking at bit concerned at Remus, even if she couldn't stop smiling.

"How are you -" She asked but she hadn't even finish her question that Molly was speaking to her.

"Tonks, could you go upstairs I have left a box of wine bottles in an empty room. The second on the right, first floor."

"Alright, Molly I'll go get them." Tonks answered smiling; sure she was proud that Molly gave her a task.

"Remus, if you're not too tired, could you help Tonks?" Molly asked in such an innocent way. Remus smiled at her and nodded before he followed Tonks out of the room. _Nice plan_, Sirius thought. Mrs Weasley was good, indeed. She looked at Sirius so he raised an eyebrow at her interrogatively before he winked and she just smiled trying to keep her innocent look.

Sirius went back in his conversation with Arthur and before he walked to the table to take dinner with everyone else he wanted to go to the bathroom. On his way, as he walked in the corridor he saw Remus and Tonks kissing on top of the stairs. It wasn't a passionate angry kiss; it was so Remus-like. Tonks didn't seem to mind though, she was always so enthusiastic so lively, a bit too much sometimes maybe but now she was kissing Remus in a soft and tender way. Sirius kept walking in the corridor when he heard a "oouuh" in Tonks's high pitched voice which meant that she must have tripped on her own feet again but it was soon followed by "I got you." In Remus's soft amused voice. "Molly said 2nd room on the right?" Remus asked but Tonks only answered "hmm hmm" but then they both seemed too busy to speak.

As he walked back to the kitchen, Sirius saw Molly finishing to prepare the meals, alone.

"That was nice… what you've done." Sirius said in a casual tone.

"What? I've done nothing special, what are you talking about Sirius?" She said with an innocent voice.

"You know what I'm talking about. It seems like we're the only ones who really know what's going on."

"Oh." Molly answered.

"Yeah, that." Sirius said with a light laugh. "Anyway, I think they needed a little intimacy. It was nice to give them some time."

"Well, it was either this or they were going explode in front of us." Molly said smiling at the picture she must have in her mind.

"Here Molly, we found the bottles." Tonks said, walking in the kitchen.

"Yeah, we couldn't find them at first." Remus said casually his hands full of bottles.

"I understand," Molly started "it's a bit of mess this room, isn't it?"

"Yeah." Tonks said nodding her head but she seemed a bit unsure of her answer.

Remus took Tonks's hand and pulled her towards him.

"Would you please sit next to me for dinner? I don't want you away from me anymore now that I'm back." He said in a low voice, his nose in her hair and when Tonks turned to look at him Sirius noticed that she was blushing.

"My pleasure, and for your information, I'm not letting you go away from me anymore." She said and she left a quick kiss on his cheek.

They sat next to one another, while Sirius was between Kingsley and Arthur. During the dinner, he would glance at the couple, his friends. He liked to see them so happy, so peaceful again. They kept talking together, laughing and sometimes they were just looking at each other smiling – which could almost make Sirius wonder if they could not read each other's mind.

Later, people were moving, changing seat. Everyone had drunk a little and was laughing easily. There was some music, which felt nice in this horrible house.

Hestia sat next to Sirius tapping her fingers on the table. He knew she would eventually speak what she had in mind. She was a nice woman, though Sirius couldn't say he was speaking that much with her. She wasn't the kind who spoke much actually.

"Is there something between Lupin and Tonks?" She asked and Sirius was taken by surprise. He didn't actually know if they would tell the Order or not; but even if they wanted to it wasn't Sirius's job.

"I don't know." He answered in an airily way.

"Of course, you would know Sirius; he's your best friend."

"Well, in that case, there is nothing." He answered a bit sharply. Too sharply maybe.

"She's always around him." Hestia said and after some long seconds she added "I know Lupin since quite longer than she does and he's never talked with me the way he talked with her." _Was she jealous?_ Sirius had never noticed that Hestia could have a _crush_ on Remus.

And as she talked, Sirius looked at the couple. Tonks was sitting at the other side of the table while Remus was standing a few meters from her, speaking with Kingsley. They seemed to all share a joke because they were all laughing but Remus had this tender look for Tonks that she was the only one to deserve.

"From what I see," Sirius started "she's not always around him… they're just always around one another."

Sirius hadn't even noticed that Hestia _liked_ Remus. Did she really? Maybe she thought she did but if she really did she would have talked to him more. But now that he was thinking about it, she may have tried sometimes but it was always at the Meetings, and the only one to get Remus's full attention was Tonks, and maybe Dumbledore – though Sirius sometimes noticed how Remus would glance at her from time to times during the meetings even when Dumbledore was speaking.

"Let's dance!" Kinglsey shouted as he put the volume of the music louder with a simple wave of his wand.

And as if the couple was hearing Sirius and Hestia's conversation, Remus took Tonks's hand and asked her to dance with him.

"May I have this dance?" He asked in a fake solemn voice betrayed by the mischievous look he was giving her.

Remus pulled Tonks close to him, holding her right hand firmly while his other hand remained on the small of her back. Tonks had placed her hand on his shoulder, a wide smile of pure happiness stuck on her face. It was rare to see Lupin so happy too, he was smiling, making Tonks twirl one time and pulling her even closer to him again. Molly and Arthur were dancing too and Kingsley had asked Emmelyne Vance. Tonks was twirling, her hair flying in the air and she was giggling every time he would make her twirl again, which seemed to amuse Remus pretty much. Remus lifted her up and Tonks laughed even more, he made her slid against his body, when her head was on his level, their nose were touching, maybe they would make the surprise for everyone and kiss in the middle of the living room. They were looking at each other and Tonks was biting her lower lip again but they didn't kiss, they just laughed and Remus put her back on her feet again.

"Well, maybe Lupin and I don't have enough in common actually." Hestia said.

"Maybe. But you know, I don't think you can choose the person you like, I mean, look at them, they don't look like they're even _trying_ to get along: they just do."

"Maybe you're right, Black. Is alcohol making you wiser?"

"I've always been wise, thank you." He said laughing lightly.

"Maybe they would even look good together." Hestia said looking at the couple again.

Tonks had – very surprisingly – stepped on his foot and was apologizing, laughing at the same time and she stepped back but she was blocked by a chair. Lupin was smiling at her clumsiness – he had never minded it; he even once said it was endearing.

"Holy crap, stupid bloody feet." She started rambling and swearing.

"Language Nymphadora." Remus said in his so professorish tone.

"I apologize, Mr Lupin." She said laughing and he took her hand again to pull her into another dance. Sirius wondered if he had even danced so much at James and Lily's wedding but he was sure he hadn't.

"You're forgiven." Remus said laughing lightly and they danced again. This time, their dance was slower – they didn't seem to care very much about the rhythm of the music. Remus kept his head next to hers, whispering words in her ear that Sirius couldn't hear. Tonks was blushing a bit but she was still smiling widely as she danced, at some point she closed her eyes but Remus was still speaking near her ear what must have been some tender loving words to make Tonks look so peaceful. She entwined her fingers with his and Remus rested his head on hers, looking several seconds at how she held his hand tight. And he looked down again, letting him lose himself in the sound of the music with the woman he loved in his arms. As they turned, making little circles, Sirius noticed that Remus was stroking Tonks's back and he even let himself leave a kiss in her hair.

Maybe that was their way to found each other again; two weeks and a half didn't seem very long but at the same time, it was.

Sirius had noticed that Tonks and Remus were practically living together, though they may have not even realized yet that they were. He had noticed how Remus and Tonks always said "going back home"; these three innocent words always seemed to mean much more than just his house or just their apartment. It seemed to mean going back together and have this little moment when they were just the two of them.

"Have you ever tried to help them a bit?" Hestia asked. _Well that was a quick crush_, Sirius thought.

"To be honest, I did, yes. I still do, sometimes."

"They'll work things out by themselves anyway." She added.

"No doubt."

Several minutes later, Remus and Tonks came back at the tables, sitting next to Sirius.

"So what have you done that you don't want me to know Sirius?" Remus asked when he sat at the table. Sirius didn't want to answer but he was saved by Hestia.

"Do you leave him go to the bathroom alone or do you follow him there too?" She asked in a thought to be funny tone but seemed a bit sharp and hostile.

"Well, I wait at the door. I leave him his privacy." Tonks said with a smile, not a nice one: One that said _I don't care, I'm too happy; you can't piss me off right now. _

"I can't say I'm letting her go very far, anyway." Remus said looking tenderly at Tonks and – without thinking, it seemed – he gave her a small kiss on the cheek which made them both blush madly.

Then, Sirius noticed – like he had noticed times and times before, even before they were together – Remus held Tonks's hand under the table. And even if they were talking with the others it seemed like both were in their own world of love and happiness but Sirius couldn't even be mad at them.

Hestia changed seat and Remus asked the same question again.

"So, what have you done that is so immature?" Remus asked, apparently already amused.

"Nothing." Sirius answered, pouring himself another glass of wine.

Tonks leant closer and said:

"Well, I had eaten his sandwich the other day and, you know how much Sirius likes food."

"What? You talk like I'm crazy about food." Sirius said shaking his head.

"Well, he throw a bottle of water on the floor when I told him I had eaten it and he shouted things like "that was my fucking sandwich, Molly had let the food for me! Why did you eat my sandwhich?"

Remus started laughing and Tonks stuck her tongue at him again.

"I was in a bad mood that day." Sirius said, trying to justify himself.

"Yeah, your time of the month maybe?" Tonks said laughing and Remus laughed even more.

"You two are fighting like two brother and sister." Remus said or _tried_ to say still laughing.

They ate desert and Sirius was now talking with Mad-Eye about the importance of the _Constant Vigilance_ or you die. But when he looked around him he could see Remus and Tonks, still sitting next to each other and she turned her hair a light green. As always when she turned her hair another colour, Remus ran his fingers through her hair, always admiring her gift. She must have been telling him how Sirius would tell her "you're green again." Which meant she was worrying about Remus again. Kingsley shouted something to Tonks but Sirius who was trying to pay attention to the amazing conversation he was having (_you just look down not half a second and you're already dead_) didn't hear what Kingsley said exactly but only the answers.

"Oh shut up Shakklebolt!" Tonks said laughing. Remus had placed his elbow on Tonks's chair back and Sirius was sure that from time to times he was stroking her back again.

"Don't forget, I'm still your boss Tonks." Kingsley said amused.

"Sorry, would you please shut up Shacklebolt?" Tonks said and Remus was laughing lightly.

After a few hours, everyone was leaving except Remus and Tonks who would always stay a bit longer. After saying goodbye to everyone Sirius walked back in the kitchen but only to see what must have started to be a house spell lesson ending in a kiss. Remus had a hand on Tonks's hip and the other on her wrist that was holding her wand. They were kissing so tenderly again but Sirius felt kind of _very_ awkward.

"Ahem!" He coughed loudly.

The broke apart but only Tonks turned her head to look at him, Remus rested his head on the corner of her head, no doubt he wanting his huge smile to leave before he would look up but Tonks was biting her lips and blushing madly again.

"Sorry" she said. Sirius just rolled his eyes and laughed.

Remus looked up at him, still smiling widely.

"I kind of missed her a little bit."

"Yeah, a little bit." Sirius said laughing again. He leaned on the counter of the kitchen, a glass in his hand.

"I hope it's more than just a little bit." Tonks said and she hit in the ribs lightly.

"Of course, I believe you already know that." Remus said and he kissed her temple.

Tonks just smiled and leaned against him. Their arms were falling along their bodies but they were holding hands, fingers entwined again. Sure, not ready to let the other leave again.

* * *

_Hey everyone! I hope you like this one, the idea came to me this weekend. I think that's the kind of things that could have happened you know? I'd be glad to hear what you think of it. :) _

_The quote is from the book A Silver Linings Playbook, I've read it this weekend it's VERY great! I loved it! It's quite different from the movie but still great. I love both! _

_And thank you to Ellie who wrote a very nice review. Well, thank you all the people who take the time to review, I always read them and though sometimes I kind of forget to answer - sorry about that - I love them very much and I try to take your remarks into consideration! :)_

_Have a good day! :)_


	39. Quite the pair

_Not really sure how to feel about it. Something in the way you move makes me feel like I can't live without you. It takes me all the way; I want you to stay.__ Stay__ - Rihanna_

* * *

The couple apparated at his house. Remus couldn't keep his eyes off of her, he really had missed her. He helped her put off her coat and they walked to the living room. Remus took Nymphadora's hand and pulled her closer to him.

"You're beautiful." He said in her ear and he was sure she was blushing. She tiptoed to speak near his ear.

"I love you." She whispered. She pushed him as she walked in his bedroom her lips never leaving his. Lis legs were against the bed so he let himself fall on it and she laid on him. He held her tightly and slid his hands under her shirt.

Tonks looked up at him, resting her hands on his chest to steady herself.

"You're very handsome." She said tracing lines on his face with her finger. Remus moved his head closer and kissed her nose.

"I've missed you so much these past two weeks." Tonks said her eyes still closed as he kissed her nose.

"Me too." He said and he tightened his hold on her. He made her roll on the bed so that they were facing each other side by side.

"I love you. I love your pink hair" he said and he kissed the top of her head. "I love your beautiful face." He kissed her forehead "I love your eyes" and he kissed her eyelids "I love your lips." He kissed her "I love your neck" he said and he left kisses down her neck.

As far as he could remember, it was sure one of Remus's best night with not much sleep.

Unfortunately, Tonks had to work the next day and Remus realized he actually enjoyed preparing her breakfast while he took a cup of coffee; he had missed that. He went in the bedroom to tell her to get up and was glad to see her smile widely at him despite the fact that she wasn't actually happy to wake up to go to work.

"Wotcher." She said her smile never leaving her lips.

"Hello, love." He said and he kissed her forehead.

"I wondered if all of this wasn't a dream but no, you're here." She sat up and searched for her slippers – since she was still very tired she seemed a bit low but Remus actually found this endearing.

"I'm back." He said and he kissed her cheek as she looked down trying to put the right shoe in the right foot. "And your breakfast is waiting for you, princess." He said in a fake solemn voice.

"mmh do you realize I actually had to prepare my breakfast on my own, I think I really got used having you with me in the morning."

"I'm glad I proved myself useful." Remus said laughing lightly.

"You never had to prove yourself to me." She said frowning.

"I know, love." Remus said quietly and he took her hand and helped her get up. He drank his coffee reading the Daily Prophet while Tonks was emerging slowly then she starting talking a bit more. Before she left for work she took his face in her palms and look at him in the eyes.

"I really want you to be there when I come back. I really hope I'm not having hallucination right now. Because that could happen. You never know with me."

So Remus kissed her, and he realized he was smiling when he pressed his lips against hers; had he ever stopped smiling since he had woken up? He doubted it.

"I'm really here, I'll be careful not to surprise you again so you won't worry that you're hallucinating." He said looking at her tenderly and she stuck her tongue at him.

"Well, if you were a hallucination you wouldn't make fun of me, would you? Because it would mean I'm making fun of myself."

"A proof that I'm not a hallucination." He said and he kissed her quickly but softly.

"Alright. See you tonight Remus." She said and she kissed him again.

* * *

After Remus owled his former employer to know if he could get his job back, Remus decided to visit Sirius since he had also missed his best friend. Remus explained what he had done during this two weeks but then the conversation turned on Nymphadora.

"She's _really_ into you, mate. She was missing you like crazy." Sirius said before he took a sip of his butterbeer.

"Well, as a matter of fact, I did miss her too."

"And you're kind of living together, aren't you?" Sirius asked with nonchalance. Remus thought about the question before answering. Were they living together? Well, she hadn't move to his house nor had he moved to her flat, though it was right that they used to spend all their nights together and he had some of his stuff in her flat as she had some of her stuff in his house. Well, maybe they were in some kind.

"Kind of." Remus answered but thought that he should detail his answer. "We've never talk about it but we are basically seeing each other every day… and night."

"No detail Lupin, she's my little cousin." Sirius said in a fake chocked tone and Remus just rolled his eyes, used to his friend's remarks.

"So it's pretty serious, isn't it?" Sirius said after a pause where both were in their thoughts.

"We've never talked about it either. I mean, I guess it is but I don't know how she feels and it hadn't been that long, four or five months."

"Trust me, it is for her."

"Has she told you anything?" Remus asked raising an eyebrow at Sirius' confidence.

"No, she didn't need to. Though she did talk to me about you, she couldn't help it. Anything makes her think of you it's ridiculous." Sirius said and laughed a bit as he seemed to have some memories in mind.

"I have to admit her stream of thoughts amaze me. She starts speaking about the Holyhead Harpies and half an hour later, you hear her saying how useful frog brain can be in some types of potion."

"Her mind's a mess." Sirius said laughing.

"Or it is just organized in a different way." Remus said just smiling as he remembered some of the conversations he had with her.

"Well, of course, you're so in love with her everything is endearing, isn't it?" Sirius said rolling his eyes but Remus didn't answer. He couldn't say 'no' and he knew that if he said 'yes' Sirius would make fun of him. But of course, everything was endearing, he knew she had flaws but he didn't mind them, he liked how she could get mad at objects for being on her way even if it was surely her fault for walking on them or trip on them.

Sirius and Remus talked and laughed a bit, Sirius told him how things were going with the Ministry and in the Order. They talked quite a long time and then Remus left for his house, waiting for Tonks to come back and he knew exactly what he would say when she would come back.

Tonks opened the door, threw her boots in the corner of the hall – no doubt Remus would store them in the shoes cupboard later – and she walked to the kitchen. Remus who had been waiting for her had prepared two hot chocolates waiting for them.

"See, I'm not a product of your imagination." Remus said with a little mocking smile. She slapped him on the shoulder before she kissed him. She was surprised when he slid his arms around her waist and pulled her closer to him kissing her more fervently.

"No really I can't be hallucinating right now." She said breathing heavily just inches from his lips.

"I don't think so." He said and he kissed her cheek.

"And you'll make sure to remind me that I actually wondered if you could be a hallucination." It wasn't a question. She did know him well.

"You know me." He said and he kissed her temple.

"That's why I know you will."

He kissed her forehead longer than usual but she didn't seem to mind because when he moved back she had closed her eyes and she was smiling peacefully.

"I won't tell Sirius, if that what you're wondering." He said with a cheeky smile.

"That's only because you know that if you tell him I might find one very unusual spell just for you, and you sure don't underestimate my imagination."

"Exactly." He answered and he kissed quickly her lips. "I've prepared hot chocolate." He gestured towards the table where the two cups were placed.

"Oh, you're adorable." She said before she kissed him on the cheek.

They sat and she told him how his day before she asked him how his was and they ended talking about his mission. They were a bit too busy last night to talk about this but at the moment it came naturally. He told her about what he had done – visiting different packs over the country and talk a bit with them. Some were very nice with him and were very civilized, some were different, and they were the ones he didn't want to remember. The ones that made him feel worse than anything in the world, which would make him hate himself more than anything and feeling not worthy at all of his friends, and especially of Nymphadora. He wondered actually, a lot of times if he just shouldn't let her go because he didn't deserve her but when he saw her when he walked into Grimmauld Place he forgot everything. She was there and she was looking at him in such a loving way he couldn't help but love her even more and want her even more. As he spoke, she was looking at him listening to every word and nodding from times to times or saying a little comment. She was a good listener, he like that about her, she was patient and not judgmental. She had never look at him in disgust, nor had she had pity for him.

"You're home now." She said before she leaned towards him to give him a kiss on the cheek but Remus took her hand and helped her sit on his knees.

"I'm home… with you." He said in her hair. She stayed in his arms a long moment and it felt good to have her there, to feel her presence, her warmth.

Luckily Tonks wasn't working the next day, and so they could spent a long evening together, watching a muggle movie, snogging like two kids, or even eating chocolate at 1 in the morning. And when they eventually went to the bedroom they didn't even sleep that much, not before a few hours actually.

Later in the morning, Tonks was only wearing one of Remus's shirt and her knickers; she was laying on her side on the bed her head at the end of the bed. Remus was laying facing her, his hand resting on her waist, letting his thumbs stroking her soft skin. He had summoned some food to eat and they were having their breakfast in bed.

"I think they know about us." Tonks said smiling.

"Who? Why?"

"The Order, I mean, they could have given us a cake with the words 'have a nice sex' on it, and it would have been the same."

Remus laughed, letting his head fall close to her.

"Either that, or they wonder why I haven't make a move yet." He said and he left a sweet kiss on her cheek.

"I mean, Kingsley said I didn't have to work on Saturday and then Molly says that Arthur would like to take my shift, really?"

"Anyway, we had." Remus said smiling and he started brushing her hair slightly.

"What? 'have a nice sex'?" Tonks said quizzically and Remus only nodded. "Remus, you know I love you but if you use, even implicitly, the word 'nice' to describe us having sex, you're sure not gonna get me in your bed before a very long time."

"Sorry my love, I didn't exactly mean the word 'nice' I mean, we did spent quite a good moment, having _incredible_ sex." He said with a mischievous glint in the eyes. Tonks straightened up a bit a brushed her lips on his quickly but softly and laid back on the bed.

Remus left kissed along her waist, on her sides, and then he left a kiss on her forehead and breathed the scent of her hair. Tonks seemed so happy and peaceful, she had a constant smile on her face and she was absolutely beautiful. Her short pink hair was the only colour in the sheets and Remus had decided – since quite a long time already – that pink was his favourite colour now.

"You know, Sirius asked me something yesterday when I went to Grimmauld while you were at work." Remus started hesitantly. "About us, he asked us if you and I were… a serious thing."

"We're Remus and Tonks, not Sirius, love." Tonks said and it took a few minutes for Remus to realize she was joking.

"Wow. You've made _this_ joke." Remus said raising an eyebrow at her.

"It was too tempting not to." Tonks said laughing but then she looked more seriously at him. "Well, what did you say to him?"

"Not much. We've never really talked about it."

"It depends on what serious mean." She said but by the look on his face he knew she had more to say. "If it means that I love you enough to hope that our relationship will last as long as possible, well yeah in that case maybe I'd like us to be 'serious'. What do you think?"

Remus took a few seconds to think about what she had just said _as long as possible_. He'd love to make… well, his _life_ with her. But then, he couldn't. He was a werewolf, he couldn't do that to her. In a dream life he would grow old with her and see her every morning, her pink hair and her warm smile.

"Well, you know things are easy now because they don't know but I'm a werewolf. It's doesn't mean I don't want to but it's complicated."

"But what do you honestly think when you think about _us_?"

"Well, I don't know I- " He said but she cut him, her eyebrows raised in surprise.

"You don't know?"

"No, it's not that. I love you, Nymphadora. I really do. And trust me: I would love us to last as long as possible, as long as you love me. But I can't stop thinking that this is all a dream and one day you'll realize how wrong it was, how you could find a better man… so easily."

"But Remus, I only want you. So, answer the question." She said determinedly.

"Before Sirius actually asked me, I thought that what we have was serious." He said quietly and she let out a breath she didn't even seem to have realized she had held.

"And what did you tell Sirius? You didn't say you said 'nothing' you said 'not much'."

"Dora.." Remus said not daring to look at her.

"Go on Remus, I mean, I'm _slightly_ concerned, aren't I?"

"Yes but-"

"But nothing. Tell me!" She said with a wide smile – for a hufflepuff she was quite impatient sometimes.

"Alright. I told him I thought we were but I didn't what you were thinking because we actually hadn't been together for that long actually."

"Yeah, I thought about it too. But I have the impression that it'd been much longer."

"Yes, I think that's due to the 'not very normal friendship' we had." Remus said with a smile he couldn't hide as he thought about the memories that came in his mind.

She placed a hand on his cheek, stroking his two or three days beard lightly. He leaned towards her and pressed his lips on hers and he could feel her smiling the first second before she responded more eagerly. Remus broke apart just some inches from her so he could take her face in his hands, and looked at her. Merlin, he loved her face, the way her lips moved into a smile, the way her eyes were smiling for her, her messy her, the light blush on her cheeks.

"Don't doubt my love for you, ever." He whispered and he kissed her again.

"Remus?" She asked just an inch from his lips.

"Hmm hmm." He moaned a bit too busy kissing her cheek up to her temple.

"When you say 'as long as possible', do you mean for the rest of your life if well, if things are going well between each other, I mean you know, if I don't become a freak and – " She had started rambling and there was one thing he knew he could do: kiss her.

"Sorry, you had started rambling, my love, but yes, that's what I meant. If you just love me that long, yes I'd love to." He said looking at her again, and he couldn't fight his smile at how happy she looked when he answered. "But you know it's not easy, I'm a werewolf, I'm older than you and I'm poor. You'll get tired of me before that." He said and she shook her head disapprovingly.

"I don't care about that." She said and she pressed her lips against his. He knew that, right now she didn't care but she would eventually… who wouldn't? He would enjoy the time he had with her and the day she'd want to leave he would be prepared, he wouldn't regret anything.

After being sure he kissed every inch of her face, he rested his head in his hand gazing at her. He stroked her hairline while she kept a hand on his side, tracing patterns on his skin.

"We could go outside this afternoon, have a walk in park, just you know, doing nothing actually." He said still brushing her hair a little.

"Feeling romantic today?"

"Maybe." He said trying to fight his smile in vain.

"Alright. I like it." She said trying to sound nonchalant.

Remus kissed her again; it felt like he couldn't keep his lips away from hers, he couldn't look away from her. They took a shower together, ate a little lunch and then they had a walk in park. It wasn't too cold outside, it was fine, there kids and other couples. A group of kids put some music on and Remus was sure it could have looked like a scene from a muggle movie – indeed, he was feeling a little romantic.

They walked along a path, laughing and commenting the place. Tonks always noticed tons of things, things he would never look at but she noticed them. They sat on a bench and Tonks looked at him mischievously, sitting too far from him. He raised an eyebrow at her and pulled her close to him which made her laugh.

"You're not too tired of me, I hope?"

"Never." She said and she put her head on his shoulder. They both appreciated silence for a moment until she started talking. She told him about how much she had missed him, little things again. She told him that when she fell in her own apartment she wanted to turn her head to find him looking at her with a little sheepish smile because he couldn't have catch her in time. Or when she always thought he would walk into Grimmauld Place whenever she was there because it felt natural to have him there. She wasn't asking any answers, any kind of response. Remus felt like she just needed to tell him, it was something she had to tell.

She changed subject quickly herself, and they ended talking about muggle way of living.

"Especially if we had to survive on your cooking skills." Remus joked without thinking.

"WHAT?" She said trying to sound angry but her eyes were betraying her. "Remus Lupin, did you just say I was a bad cook? Fine! I'm leaving." She said and she got up walking away.

"Nymphadora." Remus said and he caught up with her.

"I'm sorry, forgive me." He said with a mocking smile.

"Magic word?"

"I'm sorry, forgive me Nymphadora?"

"You're making your case worse."

"We've already agree on the fact that you love when I call you _Nymphadora_."

"No, we didn't agree. You're imagining things again." She said looking away to hide her smile.

"Alright, sorry, forgive me please? You're not a bad cook even if last time we did eat burnt potatoes."

"That was _your_ fault!" She said laughing "If I remember well, you couldn't stop kissing me."

"Really?" He asked genuinely. Now that he thought about it, indeed… he actually found her really sexy when she was trying to cook.

"Yes! Really! And I'm actually trying to improve."

"I'm sorry I won't say that again." He said, though he couldn't stop smiling cheekily.

"Well, you weren't completely wrong, though." She said quietly.

"Next time you cook, I'll stay away." He said and she turned to look at him.

"Hmm… please no?" She said and she bit her lower lip waiting for his answer.

"You're messing with my mind again." He said laughing lightly.

"But you love me even though I'm slightly weird?" She said tiptoeing to be just a few inches from his face.

"I love you and you're not weird. You're unique, though."

"In that case, we make quite the pair." She said and she kissed him.

* * *

_Hey everyone! Sorry I was a bit long to update; I had it hard to find some time to myself to write. I hope you like it, I think this one is quite important in their relationship. I know it is VERY fluffy but for my defence, they haven't seen each other for more than 2 weeks and she was worried for him so it's justifiable! :D_

_Have a good day! :)_


	40. The time of our lives

_"Is it alright if I'm with you for the night? Hope you don't mind, if you stay by my side. We can drive in your car somewhere into the dark, pull over and watch the stars. We can dance, we can sing, do whatever you think as long as I'm with you. When we are together is the time of our lives, we can do whatever, be whoever we like. Spend the weekend dancing, 'cause we sleep when we die. Don't have to worry 'bout nothing: We own the night." _Selena Gomez - We Own The Night.

* * *

The full moon would be next night and Remus felt the effect, he was tired but it has been a few full moons that Tonks had been close to him and he quite like her around. Even if his grumpy mood didn't exactly show her how grateful he was to have her.

A loud crack echoed in the house, making the noise ringing in in his head.

"Tonks, could you try to make less noise, please?!" Remus said annoyed. He didn't mind her clumsiness but now he had one of those awful headaches he always had before the full moon and hearing something bursting onto the floor made it worse.

"Sorry." She said. Without saying anything, Remus got up and walked to his bedroom. He lay down on the bed hoping he would sleep or his headache would soften. And he was scared that if Tonks made something fall on the floor again he'd be mad and right now he didn't want to fight with her. They did have little couple fights but they never lasted long, and Remus was glad they didn't have a too electric relationship since things were difficult enough.

Remus felt the blankets being pulled away a little and when he opened his eyes he saw Tonks looking at him with a sheepish smile.

"Sorry, love. I know you're getting tired before the full moon."

"It's nothing. I'm being grumpy again as you say, so I thought I'd rather go in bed early."

"Well, you _are_ grumpy." She said with a mocking smile and she left kisses on his cheek down his temple.

"Thank you Dora, for your comfort." He said smiling a little and got a genuine laugh from her.

She kissed his nose and looked at him again; her gaze was intense but amused.

"So you call me Tonks when we're not alone _and_ when you're mad at me, is that right?" She said keeping a smile.

"You know I'm not really easy to live with around the full moon."

"I know. But you know I love you even when you're all grumpy, Rem."

She stroked his jaw with the tip of her nose and Remus couldn't help but leave a kiss on her temple.

"I love you, even if sometimes I don't show it well enough."

"Shhh" she said before she brushed her lips against his, she broke apart looking at him as if she was asking if she could kiss him again. So he pressed his lips against hers.

"You can go back to what you were doing, it's still early. You don't have to stay with me." He said.

"Well, I'd rather stay with you if you don't mind."

"Of course I don't." He said laughing lightly.

"Do you want me to get you something, though? Anything, chocolate even." She said, taking his face in her small hands to look at him in the eyes. And she would raise an eyebrow, the way she always did when she wanted to know if he was lying or not.

"No, I'm fine. Thank you very much." He said and he kissed the tip of her nose.

"Well, it's too bad I already bought some. Really, it's a shame." She said, taking a bar of his favourite chocolate from her back pocket.

"Well, maybe I could do with a piece of it." He said trying to control his grin.

She broke a piece for him and took one for her.

"Well, that isn't the healthiest thing we've done, you know, eating in our bed."

"We've done quite a few times already, Dora."

"Really? You mean…. Really?"

"I mean, that you tend to be a little lazy on Sunday mornings and I usually get your breakfast in bed."

"Oh. Yeah, right." She said smiling sheepishly. He kissed her tenderly one more time, before he pulled her a bit closer to him and she buried her face in his neck so he could rest his head on hers, leaving kisses in her hair. He held her in his arms tightly, their legs entwined, he was pretty sure that she was the first one to fall asleep.

But if Nymphadora was nice and understanding with him the days before the full moon, she even was after the full moon. And that was something Remus found it hard to understand, because at least, he would have understood the first time but now she was used to it. But she still made him tea, with some of his favourite cakes and a bar of chocolate when he woke up.

And though she pretended to be sleeping when he came back early in the morning, he knew she wasn't really. He could feel her, when he slid in the sheets as he put his arm around her, she would snuggle closer to him and he just knew she wasn't really sleeping. But he pretended he didn't know and he kissed her hair softly, before falling asleep. And when she had to wake up and go to work, she always kissed him sweetly on the cheek and just like her; if the time clock had woken him up he would simply pretend to be sleeping. And in these moments, he wondered and he did before she was in his life.

* * *

Tonks had decided to visit Sirius because she knew it was Remus's birthday and the two cousins had to plan something for him.

"There's the classic 'I don't remember' all day and BOUM birthday party when he's back from work."

"He'd be too happy all day long thinking we all forgot." Sirius said thoughtful.

"You reckon I can be nice with him especially for his birthday all day long?" Tonks asked already enthusiastic at the idea.

"Merlin Tonks, I don't want to talk about your sexual intercourses with Remus. No offence, but this is weird you're my cousin."

"Sirius I wasn't talking about sex!" Tonks said laughing.

"Oh, right. Well I think you could yeah."

"Alright, and then, since – luckily! – there's a meeting that evening, we can apply the classic one, like the rest of the Order except us, pretend that they don't know about his birthday and BOOM Molly bring the cake and birthday party for him."

"I think that idea is a good one, Tonks. When you have genius's ideas like this one, I can tell we're family."

"Did you just, implicitly compliment yourself?"

"No. Okay, maybe a bit. Well, if I wait for your compliments I can wait my whole life!"

"Sorry Sirius." She said and she got up to hug him. She knew that Sirius didn't like very much to be hugged and that was the exact reason she would hug him on all occasions. Yes, sometimes she could just tell they were family.

"So I'll go tell Molly, you send owls to the people who should stay after the meeting."

"You're telling me not to tell Snape now, aren't you?" Sirius said with a proud smile.

"Maybe." She said trying to control her grin.

"Well, for your information I had no intention to ask him to stay."

"I thought so too." Tonks said smiling. They kept talking about how they would prepare everything.

* * *

"Wotcher, Happy Birthday Remus." Tonks whispered in his ear only a second after she turned off the alarm clock. She kissed him on the cheek, on his temple, on his forehead before he opened his eyes.

"Thank you. Hello."

"How are you doing today?"

"Fine. Though, I wish I didn't get one more year older than you." She sat on him, a smile not leaving her lips.

"I don't care about that. Today's your birthday so it's great. I'm gonna prepare your breakfast."

"I can do it myself, Dora." Remus said raising an eyebrow at her, surprised by her enthusiasm. It had been years Remus hadn't celebrate his birthday.

"No I want to do it. Now stop complaining Remus, and stay in bed until I come and tell you to get up, alright?"

"May I take a shower, ma'am?" Remus said on his most polite ton and she stuck her tongue at him.

"Well, alright but stay away from the kitchen." Tonks said firmly and she gave him a kiss, supposed to be quick and tender but she was surprised when Remus slid his arms around her waist and made her roll on her back, kissing her much more passionately.

Remus took a shower, wondering why she didn't want him to go in the kitchen. So when he was ready he sat on the edge of the bed and after several minutes she came back and ran to hug him. They fell back on the bed and laughed before Remus kissed her again, and again.

"You can go to the kitchen now." She said between two kisses.

"I don't know if I want to."

"Remus Lupin. I know it's your birthday. And you can have everything you want but you're gonna go to the kitchen and eat what I prepared for you."

"Everything I want?" Remus asked raising an eyebrow.

"I'm gonna regret what I've just said."

"I think you are, yes."

"Oh shove off." She said and she kissed him smiling.

Remus went to the kitchen after some time and he saw a plate of pancakes, with strawberries and a chocolate sauce.

"You've prepared this?"

"Yes."

"Are you crazy? You didn't have to do all of this."

"Can't you just say thank you like everyone would?"

"Sorry, thank you." He said and he slid his arms around her waist and lifted her up. "Thank you, thank you, thank you." He said before he kissed her times and times again.

They then sat at the table, tasting what she had prepared and it was very good. She was so surpriseing. But while he was eating she put a box on the table, wrapped in blue gift paper.

"Happy Birthday." She said.

"Oh Dora, really you didn't have to give me something."

"Shut up Remus!"

"Alright, thank you." He said and he took the package in his hands.

"Open it before thanking me."

So he opened the box, there was a brown leather strapped watch in it.

"This is. Wow Dora. It's. Wow." Remus tried to speak but failed.

"You like it? Like the color? There was black but I thought brown was better; I mean it's up to you. I can change it."

"Dora, stop rambling it's perfect. Thank you." Remus said before he got up and leaned down to kiss her. "Thank you, you're crazy you know. I mean, it's a lot. You sure?" He asked and she just nodded and kissed him again.

"There's something special about it." She said and he summoned his chair to be closer to her. She helped him putting it around his wrist and kept her hand in hers. She did a silent spell with her wand on the watch and then said:

"Now touch it."

"Touch it?"

"Yeah, put your fingers on it." She said smiling.

"Alright." He did as she said and something appeared behind the watch needles. It was written '_I'm madly in love with you, Dora.' _

"I know it's a bit cheesy, you just have to touch it if you want to read it. If you don't touch it, it won't appear. And if the man was right, I can change the message if I want to, with a spell."

"Wow, Dora. This is so perfect. I'm the luckiest man in the world."

"Oh not because of this, you're not." She said laughing.

"Oh stop it; you know I am, Nymphadora." He said before he kissed her. She frowned a bit when he said her full name – though he was still convinced she liked it when he called her by her full name.

"Oh and since you told me I could do everything I wanted today, I want the right to call you Nymphadora, _as much as I want_."

"Really?" She said a bit annoyed, even if he could see in her eyes she wasn't really.

"Yes."

"Alright.."

"Thank you, Nymphadora." He said and she rolled her eyes so he kissed her on the cheek. "My Nymphadora." He said in her hair and left a kiss.

* * *

Remus still had to go to work that day, and he couldn't stop thinking of when he would get back to her, they would spend a great evening. She had made him in such a good mood. But then he remembered they still had a meeting tonight.

He entered Grimmauld Place, wondering if Tonks was already there or not. He walked in the kitchen, Sirius and Tonks were in the kitchen but no one else seemed to be there yet.

"Happy Birthday Moony!"

"Thank you, Padfoot." Remus said and gave Sirius a one arm hug. Sirius walked to the cupboards and took a bottle of firewhiskey.

"Happy birthday again." Tonks said and Remus leaned to kiss her, leaving a hand in her hair.

"Thank you." He whispered just against her lips and he gave her one last quick kiss.

He couldn't help but smile at her. They talked a bit; Sirius told Tonks stories about Remus's birthdays at Hogwarts and what James and he planned for him – usually making Remus feel very awkward in front of a lot of people.

Then the Meeting went as usual, boring Snape, Mad Eye's report of missions, Kingsley's too, and he also asked to be replaced one day for Hogshead mission and offered it to Tonks and Remus – because he thought it was better to be two since they were not used to this one, it apparently was easy to lose the kids.

Then it was Dumbledore's usual closure:

"Well, before we meet next time, I hope every mission will turn out alright. Stay alert, as we said, they are preparing something. I hope the following missions, and Severus will help us find out really soon. Though, I would like to add something, a very important matter. We should all wish our friend Remus a happy birthday; I hope dearly that a lot will come again."

"Oh, thank you Dumbledore." Remus said, feeling a blush in his cheeks. Then Molly levitated a cake on the table written 'Happy Birthday Remus'.

"Happy Birthday my friend!" Kingsley shouted and suddenly everyone got up to wish him a happy birthday. Snape left discreetly and then Dumbledore excused himself for leaving so early. Some people left, but his friends stayed. Even Mad Eye stayed. They were having a good night, Molly had prepared a dinner for them.

And the most surprising thing was that they even had gifts for him. Sirius gave him a sweater – Tonks chose it, with his approval at the end – Molly had gotten him a scarf and a brown jumper, Kingsley got him a new set of quill, then Mad-Eye got him a book about dark arts, and told him 'to stay vigilant Lupin!' And then Tonks came to him again, everyone was looking at them and she said quite shyly:

"Happy Birthday." And she handed him a brown package. He shot her a glare, looking from her to the package.

"It's not much."

He opened it; since everyone was looking at them he couldn't ask her why she had gotten him a second one. It was a hard back red book, his favourite one. He already had it but the cover was really used and it was a cheap paperback version.

"Thank you very much." He said and he pulled her into a hug. "You're crazy." He whispered.

"Nothing's too good for you and it's nothing, really." She whispered back.

Later, Remus was sitting on the sofa while most of the people were at the table or in the kitchen. He didn't want to be impolite but he had to have some minutes alone realizing that this people came for him – or because Sirius and Tonks forced them but it was nice actually. Though he wished he didn't got older again, it made him feel like he shouldn't be with Tonks. It couldn't be right. Just as he was thinking about her she was walking towards the sofa, her arm opened asking for a hug as she sat down.

"Happy Birthday again, Rem." She said and she gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Having a good time?" She snuggled close to him and he put his arm around her.

"Yes I am. Thank you." He said before he kissed her on the temple. "I know you and Sirius did all of this."

"Well, you do deserve the best; it's not your birthday every day."

"I wish I didn't get older. I mean, if they knew for us they'd be shocked that you're with someone that old."

"Come on Remus." Tonks said looking at him, her head turned on one side and an eyebrow rose supposed to mean he's exaggerating.

"I'm 36, Dora."

"I know."

"Don't you think it's wrong?"

"No."

"I can't argue with you tonight, right?"

"No."

Remus shook his head and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"You're too good to me, Nymphadora." He said but she rolled her eyes.

"Come back to the party with me?" She said holding his hand.

"Alright." He answered and they got up. She released his hand as they got up but Remus didn't want to let go of her and let a hand on the small of her back. She turned her head to look at him surprised and he just shrugged. They sat at the table, talking with everyone and Remus actually enjoyed that night. He glanced at Sirius who was at the other end of the table he raised his glass and nodded smiling.

Tonks took his hand under the table, without looking at him; she put both her hands around his and she stroke the back of his hand with her thumb. She was laughing as Arthur told one of his day's stories at work. Remus liked her laugh; it was so natural, not very lady-like. As he looked at her laughing he realized how easy it was to love her. She was this enthusiastic talkative colourful woman that some who didn't really know her would find annoying but she wasn't. She could have all the men she wanted but there she was holding his hand, he had turned 36 and there she was, holding his hand, laughing and she was so loveable and loving.

Remus drew his chair a bit closer so that their arms were touching, she turned her head to look at him and smiles shyly. He gave her a light push and whispered near her ear.

"You seem to be having a good time."

"I am. Aren't you?"

"I am, too."

"You're very beautiful, you know." He said and he looked back at the people talking taking a sip of his drink.

"Thanks." She said and she leant her head on his shoulder and Remus didn't mind. He didn't mind that Sirius, Molly and Arthur could see them. They were his friends after all, though they must be shocked that she would want him considering his age. But when Molly glanced at them she just smiled approvingly.

Later everyone had left, saying goodbye to Remus and wishing him a happy birthday again so that only the three friends were together in the living room as usual.

"So, tell us Remus, we did things right, didn't we?" Sirius said proudly.

"You did. Thank you, you really didn't have to do that."

"Come on!" Give me the money!" Tonks shouted. Sirius rolled her eyes and gave her a galleon.

"What did he just give you a galleon?" Remus asked

"We made a bet. I said that you'd say 'you didn't have to do that' to both of us when we'd be alone and he said that you'd get mad at us. Well, it's symbolic it's just a galleon but _I_ won."

"You bet on me?" Remus asked

"Well, it wasn't mean. You know I love you, right?"

"You're mad." Remus said and he pulled her closer to him and kissed the top of her head.

"Bloody Merlin. That's how you knew. That's how you fucking knew. He loves you of course he wouldn't get mad. I'm so stupid." Sirius said and Tonks stuck her tongue at him.

Remus laughed while Tonks just stuck her tongue at Sirius.

"I can't believe I forgot that. Wait, what was that noise? Was that Kreacher?" Sirius asked looking around him. Remus hadn't heard the noise, a bit lost in his thoughts about Nymphadora.

"So, you actually made a bet about me." Remus stated looking at her.

"That was a nice one and I did win." She answered not looking at him, but resting her head against his chest, her fingers playing with his sweater.

"I don't know what I should think about it, Nymphadora." Remus said with an amused smile. Actually he already knew what he was thinking about it, it made him laugh.

"Well, it means I'm starting to know you a bit. And if you're angry with me just remember that I throw a party for you."

"I'm not mad at you." He said and he kissed her forehead taking his time.

* * *

_Hey everyone! Sorry I was long to update. It's crazy how during holidays I just can't find time to write. Now I'm back in my flat so I have more time to write. I hope you like this one :) I wrote a bit of the chapters after Sirius's death - it's killing me -_

_Chapter 40! Isn't it crazy? When I started writing, I was supposed to have it finished on chapter 40! But the truth is, I like writing too much and I want to take my time. **Do you think it's gonna be too long? Are you getting tired of it? **_

_Don't hesitate to review, telling me what you like/dislike :) _

_Thank you to the people who review again :)_

___I hope you're all having a good day! _


	41. Old memories

_"I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now... There are many things that I would like to say to you but I don't know how, because maybe you're gonna be the one that saves me and after all you're my wonderwall." __Wonderwall__ - Oasis_

* * *

Remus and Tonks were covering for Kingsley who couldn't go to Hogsmeade. After they both came back from work at midday they prepared themselves for leaving. Tonks only had to morph and change her clothes while Remus used a spell to change his appearance. He managed to wear off his scars and change his hair colour; he realized that without his scars he looked years younger. He had asked Sirius some clothes.

"How do I look?" Tonks asked. She had curly shoulder long brown hair, green eyes and some freckles on her nose. The shape of her face was different, more rounded, not so heart shaped. She was wearing black trousers with grey boots and a grey jumper; a dark cloak over her clothes.

"You look very lovely, but have you seen my girlfriend? Pink haired? Heart shaped face? Pink lips? Brown eyes? Colourful clothes? You can't have missed her she's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen." Tonks rolled her eyes but he knew she liked when he complimented her.

"Oh stop it Remus!" Tonks said laughing but blushing.

"Stop what?" He said walking towards her.

"Doing that. Throwing me compliments like that. You know I don't like it."

"Yes, you don't like it. But you keep blushing and smiling when I do, don't you?"

"Shut up!" she said laughing even more. She had that little laugh she always had when she was nervous.

"Come here." He said opening his arms for her.

"No!" She said folding her arms in front of her chest.

"Are you kidding me?" Remus said as he let his arms fall on his side.

"You're not my boyfriend. I don't know who you are. You may have seen him too, you know. Tall, sandy hair? But with a few sexy grey hair, light blue eyes, and some scars on his face that only show how brave he is." She said keeping a serious face. He walked towards her and left a kiss on her cheek.

"So that's how it feels." She said but Remus only raised his eyebrows not really understanding what she was saying. "When I morph, does it feel like this? I mean, it's doesn't feel like you."

"Well, yes I guess. But I can't say that you morph a lot."

"Yeah. I can't wait for this mission to be over so I'll see your face again." She said and she opened her arms for him to hug her. She put his arms around her waist and lifted her up.

"See? I'm a nice person because I don't deny your hugs."

"Sorry." She said laughing.

They walked outside the house and disapparated for Hogsmead, only half an hour after they were walking in the streets they saw Hogwarts students everywhere. They noticed Harry and his friends quite quickly and stayed around, trying to be as discreet as possible. There wasn't much to do since their little group – that they had called Dumbledore's Army – didn't meet, quite surprisingly. No doubt they didn't want to get too much attention to themselves. It made Remus smile that they had chosen this name, Dumbledore was in the centre of this whole fight against Voldemort. The Phoenix was Dumbledore's Patronus. The Order of the Phoenix. Dumbledore was said to be the only one Voldemort was afraid of and that was also the reason why Hogwarts was the safest place on earth.

"I wonder if Harry is still with Cho."

"What?"

"Harry was dating a girl, Cho. I wonder if he's still with her or not."

"Why would you care?"

"Ginny kind of likes Harry you know."

"Oh, yeah. Well, I can't say I'm _that_ surprised but they're kids you know."

"I know, but I like Ginny and she didn't tell me in her last letter, she didn't talk about Harry in a sentimental way at all, she only told me that there was a boy who liked her a bit."

"Ginny's writing you about boys?"

"No, not only of course. She wrote about Umbridge, though it was very coded I think I got it. There was a lot of images, I think she said that Umbridge was mad, she was putting kind of rules and there were almost a new one every day. She said that the DADA class was useless, too. But Mcgonagall had told us so already, hadn't she?" Remus only nodded while she kept talking "Ginny had told me you were a good teacher – even Fred and George but don't tell them I told you, they'd prank me for the rest of my life."

"I won't." Remus answered smiling.

"We're going to Sirius this week?"

"Yes, on Friday. Prevent him from getting mad in that house."

"Well, I'd be mad with that bloody painting of his mother. Mad family. SHIT!" Tonks shouted. Remus turned to look at her, wondering why she had stopped walking.

"I have to go to my parents, I told them I would."

"Well, join us after that." Remus said in such a calm way.

"Oh, yeah right, I could.". Remus put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer to him as they walked back.

"Having dinner with them?"

"Yes, a quick one only. My mum says I'm not coming often."

"I hope it's not my fault. I mean, we've been spending a lot of time together, haven't we?"

"Don't worry. I wasn't going much more before I joined. Well, maybe a little but not so much."

"Alright, because, you know you can go any night you want."

"Remus, stop feeling guilty. You're so nice and polite sometimes."

"Sorry if I'm annoying you." He said and she took the hand he had put around her shoulders, making him hold her closer.

"You're never annoying me." She said and he kissed her hair quickly. They kept following the kids, not staying too close from them. They kept walking in silent for a moment, Kingsley was right, it wasn't that easy to keep an eye on them, and several times Tonks would say "Shit, I've lost them." Remus would laugh lightly and tell her where they were.

"I'll have to quit my job." Remus said lately, out of the blue. They had already been there a few hours, and he had this idea on his mind and he needed to tell her. She didn't say anything; she only turned her head to look him, waiting for him to continue.

"I'll have to quit because Dumbledore's asked several short time missions for the following months so I can't keep my job. With the full moons on top of this, I won't be able to work; I'll be a burden for the store."

"Are you sure?" Tonks asked calmly.

"Yes. I think so, yes."

"Well, if you're sure of you. I understand." She answered. And at that moment, he knew. He knew why he loved her so much. Why he was so in love with her.

"About, hum, you know, earning money.." Remus started but she didn't look up at him. "I don't exactly know yet. Dumbledore offered me something in exchange since I can't have a job, due to-"

"You little furry problem, isn't it?"

"Yes, that. Sirius told you, uh?" Remus asked and she nodded smiling. "so due to my _little flurry problem_, I don't know if I'll be able to… I have some money saved, but not much. Dumbledore offered some money but I refused. The house is mine, so I'm not left with nothing. But, I don't think I'll be able to have any extra"

"Remus, it's alright."

"I feel terrible."

"Why?"

"I should have enough money to be able to get you to fancy restaurants, to get you presents."

"I don't need any of this, and Remus, really, do I fit in a fancy restaurant?" She said with a little smile in the corner of her lips. Remus rolled his eyes and shook his head a little. "And for the presents, you know I don't need any. _You_ are enough for me. Oh the kids are leaving, what time is it?"

Remus looked at his new watch and saw that it was almost 6 o'clock, so the kid had to go back to Hogwarts.

"Do you reckon we have to follow them to Hogwarts?"

"I don't know. They'd notice if two non-Hogwarts staff people or students' would follow them on this way. I think we should stay behind that house, you know, the last one on the road so we'll see the whole path."

"Good idea, Remus." She nodded her head and they walked where he had told. They waited to be sure they had walked past the gate and they apparated back to his house.

Just in front of the house, Tonks morphed back to her real self and Remus waited to be in his house to take his wand and turn off the spell.

"I prefer you this way." Tonks said taking his face in her hands and she kissed his lips quickly.

"I didn't have any scar five minutes ago."

"And?"

"I looked better."

Tonks still had her hands around his face, she smiled at him genuinely and forced him gently to bow down his face a little and she kissed a scar on his cheek.

"I wouldn't change anything." She simply said.

Remus kissed her forehead and he didn't have to say anything. He knew she'd understand. She would understand that he was grateful that he had her, that she accepted like he was. And he wasn't only thinking about his appearance.

That evening was a quiet one, Remus wrote his letter for his employer, the official one; he would give him in person, though. As he was writing, Tonks was writing a report for Dumbledore about the Ministry.

Remus didn't know how his employer would react, he had no doubt he wouldn't be mad. Remus wished he could have kept a job, he rarely had one and kept one but this one was alright and the man had been understanding about his lycanthropy. As he thought about his job, he felt two arms around his neck and Tonks's head resting on his shoulder.

"My love." She whispered in his ear in the sweetest way possible.

"Yeah?" He asked but she didn't answer before several minutes.

"I don't want you to feel too down, Remus. I can only imagine how you feel.. but, you know I'm here. I know I can't do anything but you know.."

"Thank you. Let me finish this letter and I'll be all yours."

"Take your time." She said before she left a kiss on his cheek.

Remus finished his letter quite quickly, it was quite formal and Remus only apprehended to have to talk to him in person. He joined Tonks on the couch and she snuggled up to him.

"You're right. I wish I didn't have to quit this job but this is for the best. This is the right thing to do and when I'll have the time to get a job again I'll have one. This isn't a for ever decision."

"Exactly." She said and she started stroking his chest. He had an arm around her. He needed her right now and it was like she could understand it without needing him saying it. They remained in peaceful silence for quite a long moment that both appreciated, just enjoying each other's presence.

"It's too bad I told my parents I'd go have dinner with them on Friday." Tonks said calmly. "And I have my shift tomorrow and I think my dad couldn't the day after so I can't even change.

"We'll wait for you."

"No, it's not it. It's just I'm such an idiot not to have thought about it." She said and Remus could just picture her rolling her eyes as she said that. He kissed her hair, smiling.

"It happens to everyone, it doesn't make you an idiot so far."

"You know what I mean." She said, moving her head to look at him.

"I know, but I don't like the way you said it." He said before he kissed her nose. She looked at him, smiling in a tender way.

"I'm not used to this." She said avoiding meeting his eyes. Remus decided to wait for her to continue. "Someone being nice with me that way… I mean, usually, the first weeks they would have been nice but then they would have stopped but _you, _you don't. You're still so sweet with me."

"But I don't feel like changing."

"I know, you're different."

"In a good way?"

"Of course." She said before she kissed him.

* * *

At least an evening per night, Remus and Tonks – or only Remus when she had a shift at the Ministry – would have dinner with Sirius at Grimmauld, trying to cheer him up a little bit. They both understood that it was hard for him but going outside would be his death and he knew that deep inside.

So, Remus was at Grimmauld Place, it was Friday night and Tonks was at her parents, as planned. So Sirius and Remus were spending the beginning of the evening alone first.

"So, not with your girlfriend tonight?" Sirius asked when he saw his friend entering alone.

"She's also your cousin. And please, she was having dinner with us even before we started dating – even before we even though of each other that way."

"I know. I was just making a little fun of you, Lupin. But for real, where is she?"

"She's at her parents tonight. She said she'd joined us after though."

"Great." Sirius said.

"You really like your cousin, don't you?"

"Oh shut up, Lupin!" Sirius said but then he started looking around him in the kitchen.

"What?" Remus asked

"Have you seen Kreacher when you walked in? Was he in the stairs?"

"No, now that you say I haven't heard any insults when I came in."

"Bloody hell, that evil elf is in the attic again. That's his thing now! I'll go see what he's doing!" Sirius said and he left Remus in the kitchen alone. The Daily Prophet was on the table so Remus started reading it when a sound came from the fireplace and when Remus turned his head to look at it, wondering what it could be and he saw Harry's head. He only wanted to talk to Sirius, for no real emergency actually.

Harry wanted to talk about his dad, when he was around fifteen. No the best year of James's life… and ego. Never been so big. Harry had witnessed one of Snape's memories and had questions to ask Remus and Sirius who was now back in the kitchen, talking with his godson.

_"How come she married him? She hated him!"_

_"Nah, she didn't."_

_"She started going out with him in seventh year" _Remus said

_"Once James had deflated his head a bit." _Sirius added.

_ "He kept messing up his hair up,' said Harry in a pained voice._

Sirius and Remus laughed.

_ 'I'd forgotten he used to do that,' said Sirius affectionately._

_ 'Was he playing with the Snitch?' said Lupin eagerly._

_ "Yeah," said Harry, "Well … I thought he was a bit of an idiot."_

"_Of course he was a bit of an idiot!' said Sirius bracingly, 'we were all idiots! Well – not Moony so much," _But Remus shook his head.

_"Did I ever tell you to lay off Snape? Did I ever have the guts to tell you I thought you were out of order?"_

_"Yeah well, you made us feel ashamed of ourselves sometimes… that was something…"_

…

_"Snape told me he'd never teach me Occlumency again. Like that's a big disappoint—"_ Harry said indifferently.

_"He what?" Sirius shouted_

_"Are you serious, Harry?"_ Remus said _"He's stopped giving you lessons?"_

_"Yeah, but it's ok I don't care, it's a bit of a relief to tell you the-"_

_"I'm coming up there to have a word with Snape!" _Sirius made to stand up but Remus knew how much a bad idea that was and put his hand on Sirius shoulder to force him down.

_"If anyone's going to tell Snape it will be me!" _

Then Harry had to leave again and though there was the Occlumency problem, this little talk had put Sirius in a very good mood.

"I'll send an owl to Snape, asking to meet him just tomorrow."

"Why don't you just insult him in the letter?"

"Because that's not polite thing to do. We're adults now."

"Bloody useless git."

"Me or Snape?"

"Snape of course!"

"Give me some parchment and I'll write just now. Something short, asking for a talk after this little difficult encounter."

"Alright, alright." Sirius said and he got up, handing a piece of parchment just a few minutes later, with everything needed even the owl.

"So, I could go 'Snape, Harry told us what happened. You need to remember that for the best of Harry and the Order, it is very much preferable and vital for Harry that you continue giving him lessons of Occlumency. I am sure Dumbledore will agree with me. Lupin.' What do you think?"

"Seems good, though, I think that with a little more 'you bloody git' 'you get your arse back in your fucking classroom give a lesson to my godson' it would be slightly better. But that's my opinion."

"Alright, there it is." Remus had finished writing and attached the letter and sent the owl by the Kitchen's window.

He sat back at the table with Sirius and they talked about their memories at Hogwarts with James together for an hour maybe when Remus felt two thin hands on his chest and only a few seconds later a warm breath on the skin on his neck. Remus now understood why Sirius had glanced behind him a few seconds later.

"Wotcher." Tonks said rather joyfully.

"Hello, there." Remus answered and she kissed him on the cheek. "You managed entering the room without a sound. I'm impressed." He said teasingly and he could feel Tonks shaking her head slightly.

"Hey Sirius, here's my mother's letter." She said handing a white envelope. Sirius quickly reached for it and opened it reading through it impatiently, as if taking an Avant taste of it.

"You had a good night?" Remus asked, placing his hand on one of hers that was resting on his chest.

"Very good. My parents say 'hi' by the way."

"Oh, well, the same to them." Remus said, now feeling very awkward that he didn't think of saying it first. Now he seemed impolite, whereas he didn't know they remembered him at all, since Tonks hadn't said anything about them.

"Tonks, are you wearing one of his sweater again?" Sirius asked surprised.

"That's common thing." Remus stated but he couldn't help but smile.

"I'm sorry Remus. I went to your house while you were away, I didn't tell you. I shouldn't have since you weren't there but I wasn't in the mood to stay in my flat. I know it was wrong and I just took one of your sweaters and I slept there. Only once. I know. I'm sorry. I mean, you trust me and" Remus cut her kissing her. Sirius had politely looked away; he knew that Tonks had started rambling so Remus used the way he knew the best.

"You know you have all the rights to go there, I gave you the key and you know the spells. I trust you, you're right. So you don't have to apologize."

"You're sure?" She asked with a doubtful look.

"Sure." Remus answered firmly and her hair a light shade of red, like raspberry red.

"Isn't she sweet?" Remus said before he left a quick kiss on her temple.

"Oh shut up Remus!" Tonks answered hiding her face in her hands. Remus loved how she reacted when she was a little embarrassed because she just couldn't control her hair. He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her closer to him so she buried her face in his chest. Sirius was laughing, starting to get used to the couples's moments of complicity.

Remus eventually released Nymphadora who was biting her lower lip the same way she always did when she had something in mind.

"So what were you doing tonight?" Tonks asked as she sat on the chair just next to Remus.

"Actually, we talked with Harry!" Sirius said very joyfully.

"Really? How?" Tonks asked enthusiastically.

"By the fireplace. He wanted to know about his father – especially his teen years."

"Ouch. Teen years are good for no one."

"Exactly." Sirius said.

"James's were…. How could I say? His ego had never been so developed and popularity made him feel very confident."

"And he would have done anything to get Lily's attention!" Sirius said laughing. "Remember Moony, the first time he asked her out?"

"Well, you need to know that James had been rejected several times before she said yes." Remus said quietly, a smile on his face.

"The first time he asked, he had tried to tidy his hair – I remember he kept asking 'Is my hair good? How am I? You think I'm good? Better than usual?'" Sirius said mimicking a voice and making gestures. Tonks was already laughing. "And he walked towards the grand table, sat next to Lily and what did he said, I think he was like 'hey Evans, Would you like to spend the Hogsmeade day with me next week?' and I think he must have got 'Are you kidding me, Potter?' as an answer."

"At first, they called each other Potter and Evans, by the end of the sixth year it was James and Lily and in seventh year they started going out." Remus said quietly.

"Hey, it's kind of like you! At first you called Tonks… well 'Tonks' now I hear you call her 'Dora' or even lovers name, Moony is in love."

"Tonks is impersonal."

"He only calls me Tonks when we're not alone and when he's mad at me, right Remus?"

"You happen to be mad at her sometimes?"

"No, you know I'm not _mad_ at you!" Remus said turning his head on one side and raising an eyebrow trying to show her she was exaggerating.

"Well, when he's all grumpy. You know, around the full moon."

"Oh, He is in a bad mood around the full moon, isn't he?" Sirius said nodding his head. "I remember some days after or before the full moons in the dormitory when Remus would yell at us because we were making a lot of noise." Tonks laughed.

"Yeah but, if you think I'm too '_grumpy_' you could just stay away from me those days but you don't." Remus said.

"Is it my fault now?" Tonks asked surprised.

"No, you know what I mean. I mean that, you don't mind that much because you could easily find excuses if you wanted to."

"You're right. I like to come because I know _you_ like me being around during those days."

"You're right."

Sirius was looking at their exchange, not really understanding, not knowing what to say. Tonks turned her heard towards Sirius and said raising her eyebrows:

"I get all the hugs." Tonks said "Not that you give hugs to anyone else, do you?" Remus let his nose wander in her hair and said laughing :

"No I don't." and he left a kiss in her hair.

The three friends, then, resumed their conversation about Sirius and Remus's conversation with Harry. The subject moved onto James and Lily's relationship in Hogwarts and some funny stories about them.

Suddenly, while Sirius was telling a story, Tonks kissed Remus on the cheek and then acted as if she had done nothing. Both Sirius and Remus were looking at her in surprise but they resumed their talking, though Remus couldn't find his whole concentration again. He had a hand resting on Tonks's back, he softly moved it to her side and tickled discreetly. She jumped of surprised and started laughing or shouting; after a few seconds only, Remus moved back his hand where it was. She looked at him, her mouth opened in surprise again but just when she was about to say something, Remus looked at her and trying very hard to control his grin from showing, he said :

"Shhh Nymphadora." She frowned and closed her mouth. She folded her arms in front of her chest, pretending to be mad at him.

Sirius resumed his little story on how James actually walked into a wall as he looked at Lily who was walking on the other way with her boyfriend at the time. Remus was interested in the story, it was funny and he remembered that moment actually, but he wanted to tease Tonks a little tonight. So, he kissed Tonks on the cheek just like she had done to him before and then acted like he hadn't done anything.

"You know what, both of you?" Sirius said as he got up suddenly. "I swear, James and Lily were more behaved when they were 17! I'll go get some drinks. You'll do what you want but when I come back, you stop acting like 8 years old, alright?" Sirius was almost shouting but he didn't really seem angry.

Neither Remus and Tonks dared answer and they waited he had left the room before looking at each other.

"Stop looking at me this way." Remus said.

"What way?"

"This one. It's just… Merlin! You make me want to kiss you."

"Oh… _that_ way." Tonks said rather proudly. "Sorry to inform you that _you_ started looking at me this way."

"No, I didn't."

"Bloody hell you did." She said raising an eyebrow at him.

"Anyway" He said leaning forward.

"Anyway" She repeated leaning forward too and they kissed tenderly.

"We do act like kids." Remus said when they broke apart.

"Sorry." She said with a look that Remus was sure, wasn't sorry at all.

"One more time and then we behave like real adults." Remus said and he kissed her, letting a hand wander in her hair.

Too soon, Sirius's loud "ahem!" echoed in the room and they broke apart. They managed not to tease each other the rest of the evening. Tonks had rested her head on Remus's shoulder and he had placed his arm around her back. She placed her hand on his hand that was on her waist and she entwined her fingers with his and he allowed himself to leave a quick kiss in her hair and luckily, Sirius didn't say anything. It was ridiculous how it felt right, it shouldn't feel right because she was too young, too beautiful, too lively and sweet and funny, but it still felt right. It felt perfectly right to have her close to him and he wondered if she felt the same.

* * *

_ Hey everyone! I hope you like this one. :) By what you've told me you don't think I'm being too long so I'll continue as planned which means if you like it you'll read this fiction for a long time again! I tried to follow your advises and I really __**thank you**__ for everything you've told me. _

_As always, __**don't hesitate to tell me what you like/dislike**__. I had an idea of a one-shot about them which would have happened before where we are now so anyway I'll put a link the day I'll publish it. :) Again, if there's a little drabble __**you'd like me to write**__ - because I know sometimes we want to read one scenario but we just don't find it the way we want! - so don't hesitate to ask me. :)_

_I'm sorry I was a bit long but I had mainly wrote it on paper so I had to re write everything. _

_Have a good day! xx_

_PS: sorry I made some mistakes, I tried to correct them. I finished writing a bit late so I tend to make some more. I hope it's not bothering you too much._


	42. Real

_"I wake screaming from nightmares of mutts and lost children. But his arms are there to comfort me. And eventually his lips. On the night I feel that thing again, the hunger that overtook me on the beach, I know this would have happened anyway... So after, when he whispers "You love me. Real or not real?"_

_I tell him, "Real."_

_The Hunger Games - Mockingjay - Suzanne Collins_

* * *

Remus stumbled down into his house, trying to make his way in the corridor and through the living room. He eventually managed to crash down in the couch. He had splinched, _great_, he thought. When he let himself fall in the couch his wand fell on the floor.

"Really?" He said, to no one in particular.

"Remus? Is that You?" Tonks shouted storming out of the bedroom. "Oh Remus! Merlin! What happened?" She ran towards him and helped him taking off his overcoat. There was a large wound from his shoulder to the middle of his side. It hurt, it really did but splinching didn't have that much effect on Remus, not more than a tough transformations and he had already lived quite a lot.

"Did you splinch? Bloody hell! Just don't move!" Tonks shouted.

"How would I?" Remus mumbled and she came back with several potions in hands, a little bowl and some pieces of cloth. She carefully removed his jumper and opened his shirt stuck to the wound already reddening of blood.

"_Aguamenti."_ She said pointing her wand to the bowl. "It's gonna hurt." She said before she took a wet cloth and started pressing it slightly on his wound. She had careful moves, she was trying not to hurt him more. "I need to clean before I put Dittany on it; it's highly recommended."

"It's alright I trust you." Remus mumbled.

She put some Dittany on it. Indeed, it hurt. But she was acting carefully and concentrated. It must have been part of her professionalism or maybe it was just _her, _how she is, her personality. Everyone knew that sometimes she could act a little childish, and be very friend with the kids but she wasn't in the Order for no reason, she was mature every time things got serious.

"I'll just put another one and it should be completely healed, alright?" She said before she put it on his wound. Remus could feel his flesh healing in the instant, he could feel his skin heal and reform. When it had finished healing Remus let out a sigh he hadn't noticed he was holding. Tonks was brushing his hair away from his forehead and she put a new wetted cloth on his forehead because he was sweating. She kept a hand in his hair, stroking them in a tender way now.

"You bloody scared me to death, Remus." She said quietly, though Remus could hear she was relieved. Remus didn't feel like talking yet but she didn't seem to mind. She gave him a kiss in his hair.

She got up and walked to the kitchen and when she came back only a minute after she had a glass of water in one hand and chocolate in the other.

"Here, drink a bit." She handed him the glass and helped him sit up a bit. "And take this potion, two spoons should be enough. It'll stop the ache." She said handing him a little bottle and she _accioed_ a spoon and gave him; he drank the two spoons of the awfully tasting potion. "And chocolate, it should make you feel better." She said handing him a chocolate bar.

"Thank you very much." He said. Indeed, chocolate had made him feel better – and all the people who thought he was lying about that. He put his head back on the arm of the couch and was breathing heavily; his body still ache and it seemed that it couldn't forget the wound.

"What happened?" She asked quietly.

"You know Dumbledore put me on a mission to get some more people on our side?" He said and she nodded. "Well, there's some wizard people who live quite secluded from the world. But they know for the war, the first war. So I've gone there, spoke with them, taking my time to bring the subject and when I did… They got mad. Like, really mad. I don't remember everything, it went very fast. I remember how they threw me out, one old lady was shooing her rag at me. And then I was almost running outside the little village and there was this woman, quite small and a bit… you know a bit…"

"Big?"

"Well, yes. She threw an object at me, I still don't know what it was, though it was big and dark side, maybe a piece of furniture. Anyway, she threw it at me just when I decided to disapparated and I lost my concentration as I tried to avoid it and I splinched." Remus said, remembering the events. It was no doubt, a story that he'll laugh about with Sirius in a few days, when his body will stop aching so much. But Tonks was still looking at him with concern.

"I'm fine. There were no dark wizards or dark magic and I'm pretty sure I was the only dark creatures there."

"Don't talk about yourself like that." Tonks said sharply. "You're a man, not a 'creature'. And 'dark'? Please, your only dark appears when there's no more chocolate in the house." Remus chuckled but stopped quickly when it started hurting him even more.

"I'm sorry if I woke you up, though." Remus said as Tonks

"What?" Tonks said surprised, kneeling in front of him again.

"I said I was sorry if I woke you up, stumbling in the house like that and splinching – what a fool I was."

"REMUS – JOHN – LUPIN!" She said slapping him each time between each name with a rolled newspaper that was on the little table just behind her. "You thought I was sleeping?" She shouted "You thought I was bloody sleeping? Like hell yeah! I can't sleep when you're not here! I was dead worried for you! You said you'd be back by the end of the day and I was waiting for you! YOU THINK I CAN BLOODY SLEEP? I can't believe it! REMUS LUPIN ! You'd deserve that I'd let you here and wait for the morning before I bloody heal you!"

"Dora, I'm sorry. Really, I didn't" Oh Merlin, that wasn't the best way to start that sentence. "_know_."

"Of course you didn't know! How could you!" She shouted again. And he thought he was apologizing to her for disturbing her, maybe sometimes he should be thinking twice before he speak when he apologized.

"Could you give me my wand, please?" Remus asked. Tonks didn't say anything but took his wand that was on the floor and handed it to him. "Thank you." Remus said and with a tap of his wand on the couch it got larger, enough for him to sleep and hopefully Nymphadora would agree to sleep too.

"I'll get you covers and a pillow." She said a bit coldly but she was speaking quietly again. She came back with everything, put the cover on him – though he could have done it himself – and she handed him the pillow.

"I know I'm asking much but could you please, get me another pillow, love?" He asked in his kindest voice. She pressed her lips tightly and walked back to the bedroom and came back with another pillow – he wasn't surprised that she had taken hers.

"Do you want it under your back? Or do you want it on top of the other?" She asked standing just next to his head. She had actually taken her pillow to give him; he liked those little kind gestures of hers.

"Just here." Remus pointed the place next to him. He wondered if she would understand what he meant.

"Where?"

"There." Remus pointed the empty place again and moved deeper in the couch so he was making room for her. She didn't seem to understand, well, it was late. "You could lay down with me." He said with a sheepish smile. She raised her eyebrow, as if she was thinking the pros and the cons. For the first time, Remus really looked at what she was wearing. She was wearing black shorts and one of his grey t shirts and she had big socks –they were his too. She gestured him to move on the other side of the couch so she would be the one against the back – which was actually logical because she wouldn't be on his wounded arm and without saying a word, she laid down next to him.

They laid more comfortably; the couch being bigger they were just as comfortable as in a bed.

"You should feel better in a few days." She said, her head resting on his chest, looking at his brand new scar. She had an arm around his chest, her hand slid under his shirt.

"I think so; it's all thanks to you."

"Trying to get yourself forgiven, aren't you?"

"Am I so obvious?"

"Yes, you are." She said but Remus noticed her smile. "It will get you more than some nice words."

"May I have some advices? A hint maybe?"

"I don't know…" she said, her lips pursed. "Maybe… a little session of snogging, you know. When you feel better, you could just kiss me senseless on the couch." She said amused.

"Well, I swear I would do it just now, but I'll be ridiculously awkward with my arm."

"Don't worry about that. I just want you to feel better for tonight." She gave him a sweet kiss on the cheek and whispered. "You worried me so much.. When I saw you with the blood and everything..."

"I'm fine. Don't worry about me." He said and kissed her forehead.

"I can't help it. And don't start again; you're lucky I accepted to sleep here with you already."

"For my little well intended apology?"

"I'm sorry I reacted badly to the fact that you _thought_ that I was sleeping while you were away on a mission that _you were lucky_ wasn't _too_ dangerous and only got you _this_" she said pointing his arm.

"I meant to be polite, Dora."

"I know. I know. You know that worrying about someone is tiresome, exhausting really so imagine how I felt to see you this way and.." Remus could hear in the way she was speaking that she would ramble again, and as she said she was indeed tired he had noticed.

"Shh Dora, love. I know, how do you think I feel when you're away?" He said with a little smile thinking of how pathetic he was to tell her. "Don't misunderstand me; I know you're an Auror, and an absolutely talented one. I trust you and I trust your strength, but I can't help but worry too."

"We're ridiculous." Tonks said chuckling.

"I know, right?"

They remained in a peaceful silent for a moment

"I think you'll get a scar." She said

"It's not like I haven't got any other one."

"That's not what I meant. It's my fault. I think I didn't get the exact right dose of Dittany or maybe it's the other potion."

"It's fine. I don't mind, not even in the slightest. But maybe you're getting sick of seeing a body full of scars. I'd understand."

"Remus, I think this little adventure made you really tired." She said and she kissed him on the cheek.

"Night." She said and she closed her eyes.

"Goodnight, my love." She opened her eyes again, looked up at him, sprang up a little and kissed him tenderly. And she moved back to her former position and closed her eyes again. Remus stroked her back and left a kiss on her hair. He fell asleep quickly.

Though, he woke up in the middle of the night, feeling an empty space next to him as he turned on his side. He opened his eyes, and indeed, Tonks wasn't here. He looked around and saw that she was sitting on the bed, her legs folded and her head buried in her knees.

"Dora, are you alright?" He asked his voice hoarse and croaky.

"Sorry I woke you up."

"You didn't. You've had a nightmare?" It didn't really seem like a question though. She nodded her head and he tried to sit up but his arm still hurt a little.

"Be careful." She said worriedly.

"Don't worry about me." He said speaking very quietly. "You want to tell me what it was about?" Remus wrapped his arm around her and she let her head rest on his chest.

"You… It was about you." She answered almost whispering. Remus didn't want to say anything, he knew she'd tell him. "Just like you did tonight, you were coming home but there was so much blood and I couldn't do anything. I just couldn't save you. And I called everyone in the Order and either they didn't want to come or I couldn't reach them at all. And you were covered in blood."

"But I'm here you see? I'm fine."

"I know but… you know I have nightmare easily. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. It's not your fault. Do you want me to get you something? Water? Tea? Chocolate?"

"I'm fine, don't worry." She said, though he couldn't believe a word she was saying so he wrapped his other arm around her and held her tight.

"Do you want to watch a bit of muggle tv before we go back to sleep?"

"No, you should rest. You've had an exhausting evening." She said but Remus didn't care and took the muggle remote and turned the tv on. He looked for something not too bad to watch in the middle of the night, something which was not porn, or a political program. They ended watching a cartoon. They watched two episodes of the cartoon before they went back to sleep and Remus was careful to hold her tight and he whispered loving and reassuring words in her ear before they both fell asleep.

* * *

_The following day_

Remus got back home, he had spent the last hour explaining to Dumbledore every minute of his mission and he had to admit that wasn't the most interesting thing to do. So he was eager to go back home, and just have a rest. His arm was still aching slightly and it made him getting tired more quickly. He walked in his house, putting off his shoes and wearing off his overcoat he walked into the living room, thinking about the moment he'd collapsed in the couch.

"You're home!" Tonks said, sitting on her knees on the couch. A wide smile on her lips, she was reaching for his hands.

"Hello to you, too."

"Are you feeling better?" She asked as he walked towards her. He sat on the couch, just next to her and put his arm around her shoulders. She was sitting, her feet on the couch.

"I'm fine. My body's used to those things. With the transformations and everything… But how was your day?"

"Fine. End of the week, lot of paper work." She answered a bit disappointed – Remus knew she wasn't a girl to stay behind a desk. He took her legs and placed him on his lap, stroking her thigh gently.

"You know, about your forgiveness… He said leaning towards her. "I thought we could start just now.." He kissed her on the temple. "What do you think?"

"Hm.. good idea." She said before she pressed her lips against his. Remus made her lie on the couch and they lay on their side, kissing each other. His legs entwined with hers, a hand under her shirt and another stroking her hair he thought that nothing could ever feel so great. She had the tip of his fingers resting on his jaw, sometimes caressing his neck or his hair.

He was confident when he was with her, and he wasn't confident for a lot of things but with her, when he was kissing her, he was confident. She made him feel confident. He knew what he was doing, he knew what she liked and he liked discovering new things that she liked. She would press her body even more against his, or entwine her legs closer with his.

He kept stroking her hairline and then kissed her cheek, and jaw. He liked feeling her hold her breath when he kissed her down her neck and then she would sigh against his skin.

"Is there something else you've done that'd ask for forgiveness?" She said in his ear. As he moved to look back at her he stroke her nose with his.

"Hm… I may have finished the milk chocolate bar this morning." He said.

"Hmm hmm." She whispered and she kissed his jaw.

"Or maybe…" He said giving her a quick kiss only.

"Yeah?" Remus could feel that she wanted to kiss him again but he liked to make her wait a bit.

"There's another reason.." He said kissing her jaw.

"Hmm?"

"I am" He kissed her neck "madly" he kissed her jaw "completely" he kissed her cheek "utterly" he kissed her forehead "absolutely" he kissed her nose and could feel her growing impatient " in love" he kissed her quickly on the lips "with you." He finally said and kissed her more passionately. When they eventually broke apart she said.

"It seems a perfect reason to me." She said.

"So if you don't mind, I'd like to keep snogging you on this couch often, and also kissing you senseless anywhere in this house."

Remus moved on his back to lay comfortably with Tonks who was more than half laying on him.

"Has anyone ever told you that you're a very comfy person to be on? I could stay here for ever." Tonks said, a more quiet voice at the end of her sentence.

She had rested her head on his chest, her fingers playing with his jumper, tracing lines.

"It seems like a good plan to me." Remus said quietly, a hand in her hair, running his fingers through her hair and he held her tighter with his other arm.

"Really?" She asked trying to hide her astonishment.

"Well, yes." He said chuckling lightly. Remus now wondered if maybe she didn't plan on staying with him very long. It wouldn't be surprising, really. Who would want to spend a life with a werewolf? Someone categorized as a 'Dark Creature".

"You think that… I don't know… next year, you'll still kiss me senseless on the couch?" She asked trying to joke but Remus could hear she meant it.

"I'd love to." He said without hesitation. She moved her head to look at him.

"And in… 10 years?"

"Hmm Dora," Remus started but she cut him shaking his head. He meant to say that she would change her mind by then. That's how it works, he's used to it. One day she'll see how it is to be with someone like him and she'd change her mind and the worse thing would be that Remus would understand because he's got used to it. But it didn't mean it wouldn't kill him inside, especially for her.

"Don't give me the 'I know you'll find someone better by then' blahblah." Well, he did give her that speech quite a few times already. "I happen to know that I won't. But it's not a promise I want, just what you think. You have all the right to change your mind. If you just don't want to… well that'd be a little awkward but you have the right not to want to be with me in ten years. Several months can be already exhausting, I'd understand – "

"Yes, Dora. In ten years, twenty, forty, sixty and more maybe? I'll kiss you senseless in the couch or anywhere else. You had started rambling again, love."

"Oh watever, Rem." Tonks said and hid her face in his chest;

"Look at me." He said with a mischievous tone. She looked up, biting her lower lip again and she understood; he didn't need to move she leaned down and kissed him.

She rested her head back on his chest after she had kissed him in such a tender way that Remus just knew that she was glad that he had told her. Remus wasn't the kind of person who could express his feelings easily – and he actually kind of felt guilty to have her in his life and to be in hers. He still had the impression that he did not deserve her, but at the same time he found it easier to open up to her than to anyone else. Remus heard a loud noise, which apparently came from Tonks's rumbling stomach.

"Hungry, are we?" Remus said amusedly.

"A bit. Do you want to start cooking with me? What do you want for dinner?" Tonks asked moving to sit on Remus, her knees around him.

"I don't know, I feel like skipping to the desert."

"Remus if Molly happens to know that because of me you're having chocolate as proper meals she'll give me one of her reproachful looks I don't like. So no, you'll eat a proper dinner."

"I was talking about you, not chocolate." He said smiling trying not to laugh at the misunderstanding. She frowned and then her mouth formed an 'o' and she bit her lips again and laughed.

"Sorry." She said and she leaned again and kissed him on the cheek.

"Don't be, I like it when you're so innocent."

"I'm not innocent!" Tonks said and she slapped him on the chest. "Oh sorry. I didn't hurt you, did I?" She said with a concerned look.

"No, don't worry about me. I'm fine."

"I'll change your bandages later."

"Dora, you're not here to take care of me. I don't want you to feel obliged to do this, I mean –" Tonks kissed him again.

"Back on the 'we-end-a-conversation-with-a-kiss'?"

"Do you mind?"

"No, but I still don't change my mind." Remus said.

"Me neither." Tonks said and she kissed him on the cheek again. "So I _will_ change your bandages."

She was looking down at him, still sitting on him.

"Come on, get up Remus!" Tonks said joyfully.

"You're sitting on me." He answered and she got up, taking his hands waiting for him to get up.

"Molly even gave me some recipes; easy ones. She said that I can only get them right!"

Tonks showed him parchments with recipes on them and they choose a pie to cook. They divided the tasks; Tonks had to prepare the paste and Remus the preparation to verse inside. Tonks had already made a mess of the kitchen but actually Remus didn't really mind. He liked how she really wanted to get it right and thought it was adorable.

"Rem dear, could you put some music on, please? Tonks asked in her kindest voice.

So Remus obliged, with a grin on his face. She knew she didn't have to use that voice, but she did anyway and once again, he thought that was one of her adorable traits. He walked to his shelf and search for a cd to play; there was one of her Weird Sisters cds – She had an album twice, apparently one version had bonus songs so she put one at his house – Remus Lupin had an album of the Weird Sisters, who would have believed it. As the music started playing, Remus noticed that Tonks was already dancing, but preparing food at the same time. She was moving her hips at the rhythm of the music and she was singing. Remus looked at her a moment, she was pretending to sing as if there was an audience in front of her. He couldn't help but laugh. He actually looked at her for a whole song, and when the second started to play it was a quieter one so Remus walked towards her again and was about to wrap his arms around her waist.

"Keep your hands in your pockets Remus."

"What? Why?" Remus asked smiling; he obviously knew what she meant.

"You'll distract me again."

"They're in my pockets." Remus said and he rested his chin on her shoulders.

"You're kidding me, right?" Tonks said trying to sound annoyed but she failed ridiculously at her attempt of seriousness.

"Not at all." He said and he got closer to her and he buried his face in her hair and left a kiss.

"Please Remus! I want to tell Molly I cooked it well!" Tonks said with a smile on her face.

"Alright, I'll let you cook." Remus said smiling and when Tonks turned to grin at him he noticed she had flour on her forehead and couldn't help but laugh.

"Why are you laughing at me?" Tonks almost shouted but she couldn't help but smile anyway.

"You have flour on your forehead. I don't know how you managed that." He said laughing.

"Oh." She said as she was about to wipe it with her sleeve.

"No, don't. Let me." Remus said and he softly wiped it with his thumb.

"Could you roll up my sleeves, please?" Tonks asked smiling. He wondered if she had stopped smiling since he came back.

"Of course." Remus said before he did as she asked. She was about to turn forward her bowl to go back to cooking again but he put his hand on her waist to stop her. "Wait." He said and he pretended to wipe some flour on her forehead again though there was nothing left. He glanced at her quickly and she was looking at him with a tender smile. He slid his hand on her neck and left a kiss on her nose.

* * *

_Hey everyone! I hope you like this one :) A bit fluffy I know buy you know me now, you know I can't not put a bit of fluffy moments in my chapters!_

_about the nightmare part, I know I already made her having nightmare I don't want to make her look weak because I think that she's taking everything strongly but she can't control her brain, her consciousness, you know? Personally, I easily get nightmares about things that happens even the day just before so I think that could have happened to her. This scene of seeing Remus hurt was traumatizing so I think it's really probable. _

_Thank you to the people who review, you brighten my day every time :) Hello to the new followers and people who favourited :) _

_Have a good day! xx _


	43. I have no plan to leave you

_"I always felt insecure and in the way, but most of all I felt scared. I guess I wanted love more than anything else in the world." _

_Marilyn Monroe_

* * *

They were all in Grimmauld Place for a meeting. It was as usual, missions report, and other discussions. Remus was listening to Mad-Eye telling them about his conversation with one of the close Minister colleagues at work. Mad-Eye was an excellent Auror, a great fighter there was no doubt about it, but he wasn't a good story teller. Sometimes he mumbled comments to himself as he spoke but they all got used to it, though Remus couldn't help but smile at those moments and he noticed that Tonks didn't even hide her laugh.

"Apparently, Umbridge would take Dumbledore's place, sooner than later."

"Really? He said that? When?" Tonks asked surprised.

"You would have heard if you weren't flirting with that idiot of Pickthorn from the Administration Services." Remus couldn't believe what he had just heard. _Flirting._ And now he was what? Jealous? For Merlin's bloody beard. Tonks was flirting with another man, he couldn't believe it. He _literally _couldn't believe it; she wouldn't. He hoped she wouldn't.

"I was not!" Tonks shouted. Her eyes were wide opened in surprised and quickly turned into furry. Remus felt relieved that she reacted and that at least, she did not blush – which would have meant for sure that she was – she was angry, at least that was a good thing, wasn't it? Or maybe she was just mad that he had told her in front of him, because of course she wouldn't want Remus to know.

"Yeah, right. It's been a moment he keeps walking around you're the Auror offices." Mad-Eye rolled his eyes "anyway" he added and continued talking but Remus couldn't hear him. So that was it, the moment when Tonks would meet someone better. It was bound to happen anyway.

"I still say that I wasn't. Maybe he is but I'm definitely not." She mumbled to herself.

Remus was fixing a point on the table, not saying a word. He didn't really know what to say and if he had anything to say he would say it when they were alone. Tonks fell silent the rest of the meeting and seemed a little embarrassed while Molly didn't stop shooting them glances, no doubt she knew there was something between them and knew it was a very awkward moment.

Remus didn't doubt Tonks fidelity because he knew she wouldn't do something like that. She would break up with him first but, maybe she would fall in love with him, sooner or later.

The meeting seemed incredibly long to Remus and when everyone had eventually left he said quietly, trying not to sound angry or sad or even annoyed and _even jealous_. He tried to say it as emotionless as possible:

"Who's the 'idiot of Pickthorn from the Administration Services'?"

"He's no one. I wasn't flirting with him. He's an idiot." Tonks said annoyed. But Remus insisted, he just needed to know.

"But _he_ flirts with you."

"Maybe I don't know. True he's been around lately but really I don't care about him."

"Moony is jealous." Sirius said amusedly and that was the very last thing he needed right now.

"No, I'm not." He said still quietly, avoiding Tonks's eyes.

"Hell you are." Sirius said on that same tone.

"Are you?" Tonks asked. Remus could feel her eyes on him but he just couldn't.

"No, I'm not." Remus said stubbornly.

"So why don't you just look at me?"

"Alright, maybe I am!" Remus said and got up quickly to walk in the kitchen.

"Remus, don't walk away from me!" Tonks got up and followed him. Sirius stayed in the living room, no doubt understanding that they needed to talk alone.

"What do you want me to say?"

"I don't know but don't do that, don't stay silent and don't stay away from me."

"So what? You want me to say that I'm upset to know that there's a man at _your work_ who can see _you every day_ and who is sure younger than I am, richer and not a Dark Creature? That I know that sooner or later you'll prefer him? _That'_s what you want to hear?"

"But Remus, I will never prefer him!" She said laughing lightly at the end. How could she be laughing?

"You think." Remus said looking at the window.

"Remus, could you just trust me, once in your life? Because you shouldn't doubt me! How could you actually even doubt me?"

"This isn't about trust." Remus turned to look at her – _bad idea_.

"And what is it about?" She asked an eyebrow rose and her arms were folded in front of her chest. Remus was stuck. He was looking at the other end of the room; he had no idea what to say. Maybe it was about trust. "Do you trust me?" She asked on that same bloody stubbornly tone.

"I do." He answered quietly. It was right, he trusted her but it didn't mean that he wasn't jealous.

"So if I tell you that _I _wasn't flirting with that guy and that I don't care. You trust me?"

"Yes, but one thing." He said and she nodded waiting for him to speak. "Why have you never said anything about him?"

"I don't know…" She started, searching for her words. Now Remus was scared of the answer. "Because, as I said, I don't care. I've never realized he was actually flirting with me until Mad-Eye said it…" She walked towards him and slid her hands on his waist. She knew what she was doing. "There's only you." She whispered and looked at him tenderly.

"For now." Remus said looking away.

"No. Not just now."

"I appreciate what you're saying but I know that one day you'll realize that he _is_ much better than I am. He's younger, he's _working_, he doesn't have any problem with money and I have no doubt he is much better looking than I am which is not hard to do."

"You're very wrong." She said tightening her grip on him. "You know I don't care about all of this and I actually think you're very handsome. Much more handsome than he is, I love the way your hair fall, I love your nose, I love the colour of your eyes and I love the shape of your lips. You're _way _smarter than he is; you're braver than he is, stronger, taller too. You're funnier, you're sweeter and kinder. How many times do I need to tell you, that I love you for exactly who you are, for you to believe me?"

Remus had absolutely no answer to this.

"Sorry for being jealous."

"Don't be, you're sexy when you're jealous."

"It's just that I know how great you are and I have no doubt any man in their right mind would be attracted to you and I can't do anything about it."

"But you can keep being _you_ and you can keep loving me… It seems like a good start to me. And you could kiss me right now." He placed both hands around her face and slowly leaned forward. He rested his forehead on hers, their noses touching slightly and she tiptoed to press her lips against his.

"Now let's go see Sirius, he must wonder if we had a fight or you broke up with me." She said.

Remus pulled Nymphadora into a tight hug. She responded by holding him tight, her head buried in his chest. After a moment, she led him to the living room, holding his hand tightly.

"No fight?" Sirius asked

"No. Aren't we seriously perfect?" Tonks said laughing, poking Remus slightly in his ribs.

"I mean, I asked Kingsley how that bloke was Pimkthromst or something?"

"Yeah, or something" Tonks said laughing.

"Anyway, he told me how he was physically and I tell you Remus, you shouldn't worry at all!"

"How is he?"

"Please give me Kingsley's description!" Tonks said quite joyfully.

"Well, he said he was not very tall, even quite small actually. Dark hair, glasses, white checked shirts buttoned up with an air of an accountant. He said he was sure that man was scared of his shadow."

"Is it true?" Remus asked.

"If he's scared of his shadow? It wouldn't surprise me in the slightest!"

"No, well yes, but does he really look like that?" Remus asked a bit surprised. There was a part of him who was reassured that this guy was not too good looking but there was another side of him who thought that maybe if he _was_ good looking maybe she would've liked him. He knew that Tonks wasn't the kind of girl who fell for physical aspect only but no one could deny it didn't have a major role. Though, if it had a major role Remus thought he must have a great personality to keep her around. But that was one thing he doubted again.

"Yeah, Kingsley was quite right but he always wants to do some of my paper work, the very administrative one so I just thought he was bored or that he liked it. I mean, he chose this department that can only be because he likes it!"

"You're naïve, my dear cousin."

"I'm sorry I thought that men could be nice without ulterior motives." Tonks said her eyebrows risen in surprise.

"Well, look at Remus." Sirius said pointing at him.

"Wait! I've never been nice with her because I was interested in her."

"Yeah right." Sirius said shaking his head.

"You know I didn't want to get involved with anyone, especially with her."

"Especially with me? What does _that_ mean?" Tonks said turning her head to look at him. Remus hated this conversation. He would willingly let the floor swallow him right now.

"No, not this way Dora. I meant that you were too – well you still _are _too young, and smart and – "

"Please don't make her a list of her qualities, not in my presence." Sirius said, rolling his eyes.

"What I meant was that, I never thought you could ever be interested and when I discovered you were, I thought I didn't deserve you, I still do. _Anyway_" Remus said shooting an annoyed glare at Sirius. "At the beginning when I 'was nice' to her it was because it felt only natural for us to be friends. Obviously, Mad-Eye is not interested romantically with her."

"Can you say Mad-Eye is _nice_ with her?"

"_I'm here!_ And yes he is, in his own personal Mad-Eyeish way."

"You see?" Remus said proudly.

"Yes, but does Mad-Eye offers to do your work like Pimkporm did?"

"No." Tonks mumbled and Remus laughed.

"Alright, I give you this point Padfoot, but you can just be nice with someone and nothing's wrong."

"I still don't believe it, but at least we agree on that." Sirius said and took a sip of his beer.

"Dora, when a man offers you to do your work, or like the pizzeria near your place if a guy offers you a desert or a pizza, it usually means that he…"

"He tries to get into your pants." Sirius said loudly.

"I was going to state it differently but it really is the same thing." Remus said politely.

"Alright, I knew for the guy in the pizzeria. He's really obvious but I swear I haven't seen anything with Pickthorn."

"I told you you were innocent." Remus said with a grin.

"I'm not." She said slapping him on his knee.

"But I like it when you are." He said before he kissed her hair.

"So you keep kissing each other, and loving each other now?" Sirius asked trying to sound annoyed.

"Hmm… yes!" Tonks said and she let her head rest on his shoulder.

"At least, we had a bit of fun." Sirius had before he took a sip of his butterbeer.

"You had." Remus corrected him.

"Maybe but I can reassure you."

"Please, enlighten me, wise Padfoot." Remus said shaking his head used to Sirius's moments.

"There's only one man better than Remus, my dear cousin."

"Really? Who?"

"It's me, and I'm your cousin. So you don't have to worry, Moony!" Sirius said took a sip of his butterbeer while Tonks was laughing. Remus laughed, he couldn't help it, Sirius knew what to say to lighten the atmosphere.

They spent the rest of their evening talking and laughing. They had the right to Sirius's stories about his experiments with girls in his youth – though Remus found it very inappropriate to talk about this in front of his cousin. Tonks didn't seem traumatized but Remus thought she'd never have enough breath if she kept laughing this way.

Even though Sirius's wonderful description of that man and how they had a laugh about had cheered them up a bit, Remus couldn't get this idea out of his mind. Was it only because he was not good-looking? If next time, there's a good looking, smart young man with a good job, would she leave him? Was the moment when she'd leave getting closer than he thought?

Tonks seemed to notice that Remus was lost in his thought because she kept glancing at him offering him a kind smile and he just couldn't, he faked one sometimes but now it killed him. He didn't want her to leave him, all the time he thought he was preparing himself for this moment… _what a joke_. He wouldn't be prepared and would never want her to leave him. And he was selfish, so selfish. How could he ask her to sacrifice her life, her youth for him?

* * *

When they got home, Remus was still thinking about that guy at the Ministry, while he was putting off his coat. Maybe she wasn't interested in this one but there would another; there would always be another one.

"A chocolate for a thought?" Tonks said smiling tenderly as she walked backwards to the kitchen.

"Nothing very interesting." Remus answered casually and he left a kiss on his forehead as he walked to the kitchen. He poured himself and Tonks a glass of water and leaned on the counter.

"I want to know."

"Boring, really. Did I forget my schedule of missions at the Headquarters?"

"No, you haven't. It's in your pocket, I saw you put it in there." She said pointing to his left pocket and she was right, there was a paper folded in it.

"Right, thank you."

"You're avoiding the subject; very well I have to say." She said leaning on the table, looking at him and waiting for his answer. He hated that she knew him so well, of course he was thinking about what they had talk about at Grimmauld Place, of course he wouldn't just forget.

"I was thinking about your colleague." Remus said trying to sound unemotionally again.

"I know." She said with a tender smile.

"Why are you asking?"

"Because I don't like knowing that you're ruminating like that."

"Maybe I do."

"So, I let you think about it over and over before in a few days you'll tell me you're breaking up with me because you think I should have never talked to him?"

"Of course I'm not going to do that." Remus said shaking his head.

"No, because we're gonna talk about it." Tonks said stubbornly.

"If it's not this guy, it's gonna be another. You'll see a perfect man at your work, who has everything and with no glasses and buttoned up white checked shirt."

"But I wouldn't care if the perfect man walked in my office because he wouldn't be you." She said throwing her hands in the air as if it was proving her point even more.

"You say that _now!" _Remus said more loudly.

"Like you know what I'm gonna say later maybe!" She answered louder.

"It's only logical! You're young, you're so young and you have a world ahead of you, a world I can't offer you but other men will and it will only be fair that you go with them."

"Bloody fucking hell Remus! I don't care about money, about age difference, about anything else. I _really_ don't and I _won't!_" She said quite loudly. Remus didn't even dare look at her in the eyes afraid of what he would see. "Please Remus, couldn't you just understand that I love you, only you and I don't plan on changing. The captain of the UK Quidditch Team could walk in I still wouldn't care because he's nothing compared to you." She said and added almost whispering "He just wouldn't be you."

Remus looked up at her, he felt ashamed now, ashamed to have reacted this way, to doubt her. He couldn't get used to have someone who didn't care, someone who loved him. And in moments like this, when he _knew_ that someone, obviously better than him, was trying to flirt with her it reminded him of reality.

"Remus, please, say something." Tonks was almost whispering now.

"I'm sorry." He said and he walked towards her. He wanted to touch her, to have her close to him but after what he had said he didn't even know if he had the right to do so. "I've tried to… prepare myself thinking that one day you'll leave. I've tried because that's what I've been used to, my whole life. But today, I thought that was it, and I realize that no matter how much I've tried to prepare myself for it I don't want you to leave me. I just _don't_."

"Well, I'm glad you don't want me to leave because I'm telling you, I have no plan to leave." She said and she threw her arms around his neck, holding him tight. "Don't do it anymore." She said "Stop preparing yourself because I'm not gonna leave, I told you I don't care. If I don't care now I won't care later."

She drew back a little, just so that she could place her hands around his face, brushing his hair away from his forehead.

"I love you Remus, I really do. I just want you to trust me."

"I love you." His voice was croakier than he wished. He rested his forehead on hers and then she kissed him on the lips, then on his cheek and on his forehead. He kissed her jaw and let his hand wander in her hair; he kissed her down her neck. He lifted her up sitting on the table and he kissed her, feeling her lips moving onto hers. He drew away a second to say:

"Your lips taste of chocolate."

"I may have eaten a piece of your chocolate bar while you were trying your best not to look at me." She whispered before she kissed him on the cheek very softly.

"Dora" He whispered in her hair.

"That's why you love me, right?" She said quite amused and he couldn't help but laugh.

"Exactly." He said now looking at her, his nose stroking hers slightly.

"We've never done it in the kitchen, have we?"

"No." He said chuckling. "Are you planning on doing it in every room?" He said raising an eyebrow at her.

"That's my plan, yes." Tonks answered stroking his jaw with the tip of her fingers.

"It seems like a very good plan to me." He said before he pressed his lips back on hers.

* * *

_Tonks's Point of view_

The following morning, unfortunately, Tonks had to go to work. It was Saturday and she had to work until midday. As usual, and though she told him plenty of times he didn't have to do that, Remus had prepared her breakfast. It was waiting for her on the table while he was reading the Daily Prophet, his cup of coffee in the hand.

"Goodmorning, lovely." Remus said only glancing at her with a mischievous smile. No doubt after that night, he'd keep this mischievous glint in the eyes for a moment.

"Wotcher." She said already beaming. Today could only be a good day, they had had this conversation the last evening and they had made things clear between them. She often had the impression that it was her fault, that she didn't show him enough and well enough how much she loved him. But she was clumsy with words, she was much better with actions, or sometimes even not.

She walked towards him and left a kiss on his cheek.

"Have you planned anything this afternoon?" She asked him trying to sound casual as she put a spoonful of cereals in her mouth.

"No, the usual. Meaning, looking at those files Dumbledore gave me." Remus said but she could tell he wanted to ask this question, this one word 'why'. But he didn't, he was better than she was with words, conversations in general.

"Great." She said. Remus folded his newspaper and carefully placed it on the side of the table. He looked at her, a small grin on his lips.

"Why?" He eventually asked.

"You know, stuffs." She said pretending to be fully concentrated on the cereals stuck on the interior side of her bowl.

"Stuffs?"

"Yeah." She said airily "you and me. Do you mind?"

"No."

"That's what I thought." She said looking up at him and she could help but smile widely and she noticed the way he was looking at her. She wondered why he could doubt she'd leave when he was looking at her this way, so tenderly, so _lovingly._

"I'd advise you to look at these files rather in the morning because I intend in keeping you busy this afternoon." She said on the same casual tone. "The evening too. Well, and the night. And probably the next day if you have no objection."

"None."

"Great."

"May I know what we're going to do?"

"I'm gonna be late for work." She said shaking her head and she got up to put her bowl in the sink. Remus looked at his watch and looked back at her, raising an eyebrow.

"You have a quarter of an hour ahead of you."

"I know."

"And you're dressed?"

"I am."

"So why would you be late?" Remus asked his eyebrows were both rose showing his misunderstanding of this situation.

"Because I'm pretty sure I am _gonna_ be late." She said and she walked towards him and sat on his lap. "I didn't say I _was_ already late." She saw the relief on his face now that he understood what she meant. She placed her arm around his shoulder while he was holding her tightly against him, his arms around her waist, his fingers tracing patterns on her skin when the hands had made their way under her t shirt.

"Let's, at least, make a good reason for it."

"Exactly." She whispered against his lips and he kissed her, tenderly and lovingly. And she was right, she had been late for work, not too much but she didn't mind. She wondered if Mad-Eye knew the real reason whether he'd want to hex Remus so that turned into a ferret he wouldn't touch Tonks anymore or if he'd be mad at Tonks for being late at work because of a man.

With time, and years, Mad-Eye had become a father figure, though she loved her father of course, but Moody was quite protective sometimes, he never let a guy trying to get his way with her at work. And she actually quite like that he was, though it must have been part of his paranoia over security and vigilance.

Tonks had actually no plan at all for their afternoon, she only knew that after their evening she wanted to make things right. She wanted to spend the day with him, trying to cheer him up a bit. She was at her desk, usually when they had to work on Saturday morning it was for paperwork. She hated it. But at least, her mind could wander off and she was trying to find a good idea on how to spend a great day with him.

Someone knocked at her, which surprised her because neither Mad-Eye nor Kingsley ever did so. She sat up; trying to look serious because she actually feared it would be someone from the Office. Fortunately or unfortunately it was the man from the Administration Services, Pickthorn – or was it Pimckthorm? Sirius had got the name wrong so many times she had doubts about his real name now – who had knocked at her door.

"Hello, Miss Tonks."

"I told you to call me Tonks only."

"Right. Are you having a good day?"

"Well, so far, it's not too bad." She said trying to control her smile as she thought of the way Remus told her goodbye at the door, saying 'wait' as if she had forgotten something and when she turned to him he pulled her into a kiss and when they broke apart he said 'It's fine, you can go now' with a mischievous smile while she was still happily surprised. She had felt in the morning, that what she had told him the night before had reassured him but she still felt bad.

"I heard you had a lot of paperwork today."

"Yeah, but it's fine."

"You know you can give me your administrative ones if that can help." He said and she remembered what Sirius had said.

"No, it's fine." She said quite unemotionally.

"At what time do you finish working today?" He asked.

"Noon, I can't wait!" She said taking back her quill about to continue her job but he didn't get the signs and get on speaking again.

"Oh, you've planned something for the day maybe?"

"Yes, indeed! The whole weekend actually."

"With your parents, maybe? Friends?"

"That's a very personal question." She said raising an eyebrow at him. Now she had doubts, was he the one supposed to spy on her. Bloody hell she was becoming like Mad-Eye, she was getting paranoid. But still, she couldn't be too careful on that one.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to. I'm very sorry."

"It's alright."

"Maybe I should go. Goodbye, Tonks."

"Goodbye." She said unemotionally again and she gt back to her work. When she was tired of writing, she walked quickly to Mad-Eye's office which was just next to hers actually.

"Hey Mad-Eye."

"Hey kiddo"

"Told you not to call me like that!" She said but that was kind of a joke they shared when they were just together and not in mission. It actually happened that Mad-Eye was more relaxed and he would tease her.

"What are you here for?"

"Just because seeing you brighten my day of course." She said trying to sound serious and she sat loosely on the chair in front of his desk, placing her feet on the other one. "And also because I have doubt on the guy of the Administration Services." She knew she could talk quite safely here because no one had access to Mad-Eye's office while he was not in and no one in their right mind would try to break in. Though they never talked about the Order here, they wouldn't push their luck.

"What do you mean?"

"He asked me if I had plan for this weekend and when I said yes, he asked me if it was with my friends or with my parents."

"Maybe he's just a nosy little prick."

"Well, that's an option."

"Did he seem suspect to you?"

"Well, it's just he seems such _the_ nice type of guy that of course you wouldn't suspect him. No one would suspect him of being you know what."

"You think he'd be you-know-what?" She knew he meant Death Eater.

"No, no, I mean he seems scared of his own shadow he wouldn't last a day. But you know for _Up there_" meaning the Ministry Office "he seemed the right kind of guy. Like I said, you wouldn't suspect him, would you?"

"No, it's right. Good thinking."

"I had a good instructor."

"That's what I've heard." He said with a little smile. Tonks was quite proud to be one of those who managed to make him smile. "Now, I don't think your work will be done it itself."

"Yeah I'm leaving." She said moving very slowly not motivated to go back to her desk. "But it's very boring."

"I know, I have the same."

"Yeah but Kingsley gave me a bit of his."

"You're the youngest, kiddo." Tonks only answered by something that seemed like a "pfft" and walked back to her office.

She finished her paperwork wondering what she could do with Remus.

Noon came fast and she could finally come back home, she rarely walked so fast out of her office.

When she was finally in front of the door of Remus's house she quickly put off her boots and noticed that she was wearing pink socks something she hadn't noticed in the morning, and her Auror Cloak. She walked in the corridor, into the living room hoping to see him there but he wasn't; it's only when she turned towards the kitchen that she saw him.

"Spaghetti?" He asked proudly.

"You cooked!" She said joyfully – maybe a little bit too much – as she walked towards him to press a kiss on his lips.

"Yes, I did." He said when they broke apart. "Not much, though. I thought we could avoid the kitchen to be a mess and enjoy our afternoon sooner."

"I'd be hurt if it wasn't such a good idea." She said and she wrapped her arms around his waist. He kissed the top of her head and held her tight for a moment.

"So what are the plans for today?"

"I thought we could go on the seaside? You know there's a great place not too far? There's a muggle city not far. We could spend the afternoon there, I know it's not very hot outside but I don't really care about that. Do you?"

"Not at all."

"And then I thought we could come home, and I have some ideas to keep ourselves busy."

"Some ideas, uh?"

"Yes." She said chuckling.

"It seems like a very good plan to me." He said before he kissed her.

And that's what they did; they spent the afternoon walking on the cold sand. Tonks liked to kick in it so that it was flying with the wind – sometimes not thinking that it could backfire on her. She wouldn't let go of him, always holding his hand or having her arm around his; but sometimes she had the impression that he wouldn't let go of her either.

When she decided to climb on huge rocks at the end of the seashore, Remus kept telling her to be careful that if she fell down she would break her ankle or something. She just wanted to walk along on them and at the end: Remus was waiting his arm opened wide when she was just a few meters from him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and jumped to be back on the floor and he held her tight laughing. She loved his laugh, especially at this moment. They had both forgotten the rest of the world, there was just them and it felt right.

There was a strong wind which sometimes calmed down a bit, but they didn't mind. It wasn't important. Though Remus didn't stop moving her hair away from her eyes when he looked at her but it seemed to amuse him to see her bright bubble-gum pink hair flying through the wind and when there was a gust she'd screwed up her nose waiting for it to pass, knowing that it was useless to try to prevent her hair from getting messed up and Remus just pulled her into a tight hug as if he was protecting her from the wind and she'd laugh her head buried in his chest.

She wanted to buy two iced cream for them but Remus insisted that it was too cold outside and with the wind it'd just fall on the floor. And she knew that he didn't want her to buy anything but she bought two lollipops anyway.

"Lollipop? Really?" He asked surprised after she told it to the woman in the shop – who was actually eying her.

"Yeah. It's been such a long time I didn't have one. I think I was a kid the last time!"

"I think I was too." He said looking at the floor apparently trying to remember the last time he had one. She tiptoed and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. He smiled a bit surprised but seemed quite happy about it. The woman looked even more judgmentally than before but Tonks didn't care – Though maybe she should have change her hair before entering a muggle shop but actually she had seen muggles with pink hair.

"Here your two lollipops, a chocolate and a strawberry, right?"

"Right." Tonks said enthusiastically taking the two sweets in her hand as she gave her the money with her other hand. She handed one to Remus and they both remained silent as they unwrapped it with more or less ease.

"Do you want to go back on the sand? Or do you want to wander off in the city?" Tonks asked the lollipop in her hand as she spoke. Remus took it off his mouth before answering:

"As you prefer, I liked the sea."

"Let's go back there." She said and their hands found each other naturally. They were walking in comfortable silence, their lollipops in mouth when Tonks decided to walk on a very small wall that separated the sand from the sidewalk. Remus was holding her hand as she walked, always looking at her tenderly. Tonks had this childish part in her, she never thought it meant she was immature it only meant that when she grew up she thought that there were things that never need to change, there are things that you are not forbidden to do as you grow up. Remus never seemed to mind this side of her, she had seen guys who told her to be discreet, who thought that her pink hair was a way to get noticed and they didn't want to have it in public.

But Remus, he was there, walking with her, holding her hand, helping her jump down, brushing her hair away from her eyes and kissing her forehead. He was looking at her lovingly and that was the reason why she wouldn't leave. She had found a man that she loved, though things were not always simple, not always happening as usual, he loved her too.

She was standing in front of him and she took the lollipop out of his mouth, she had already taken out hers and she kissed him.

"You taste good." She said against his lips.

"So do you." He answered and he kissed her again, his hands placed firmly on her sides.

"I think that's a very good combination, surprising at first but actually, really great." She said smiling and he looked at her tenderly and suddenly she realized they weren't talking about lollipops anymore.

"Exactly, surprising but then, it seems so naturally matched." He said with a mischievous smile that she loved. She put back her lollipop in her mouth and handed his to him.

"Do you mind?" He asked holding the tip of hers. She slightly opened her mouth and he took it and put it in his mouth, giving his to Tonks. She smiled and held his hand as they walked again. They stopped on a bank and just sat looking at the waves getting as quieter as the wind now. It was the end of the day and though Tonks wasn't much for the romantic cliché it was getting more and more beautiful. It was not a beautiful sunset. The sun only made its apparition at the end of the afternoon and now there was only a bit of sunlight going down making its way through the clouds and the sea wasn't light blue as in the movies, it was a dark blue, a bit greyish.

Remus put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her a bit closer to him so he could give her a kiss on the temple.

"You're not too cold?" He asked quietly.

"No, I'm fine."

"Good." He said and he rested his head on hers. Tonks was still surprised that he still made her shiver when he was so affectionate, she felt her stomach tingling when he placed his hand on her thigh, tracing patterns.

"You've had a fantastic plan." He said

"To tell you the truth, this morning when I told you I _had _a plan it was a very little lie, I had the idea at work."

"Was it because of what I said last night?" He asked on that same time but she let out a sigh and closed her eyes as she answered.

"Partly." She didn't know if she should tell him. Maybe he'd be mad at her or disappointed.

"Why?" He simply asked, his tone was still the same.

"Because I want you to believe what I told you."

"I think you're wonderful, Dora." He said laughing lightly and she felt relieved. He removed his head and turned to look at her; he was smiling but looking intensely but she did not flinch and she stared back, pressing her lips together not to smile. But he did not say anything, neither did she. She could have told him that this afternoon that they spent together was the exact proof of why she wouldn't leave him, because they were right for each other, they were a good match. They did not need to try, it was natural. Surprising at first, but great. Tonks always thought that if they felt so comfortable together, so easily comfortable it was because maybe, they were just meant to be together because they aren't a lot of people on earth with who you could be so comfortable to be with. But together, they were. So she wouldn't leave, and she hoped he wouldn't leave either.

She put her head on his shoulder, and he kept playing with her hair and now it was more than right. It was something Tonks couldn't define, she wasn't good with words but she was better with actions so she took his hand brought them to her lips to kiss his palm before she held it tight against his chest.

* * *

_Hey everyone!_

_I'm glad I managed to update one more chapter this week - you can thank the snow who decided to get over almost all my country, in march, of course, very normal. So I couldn't go to college for 2 days and I thought I'd write one. It's a bit long, but I really really hope you liked it._

_I hope you liked the Tonks's part. I love writing with her point of view but I'm always so scared to get her wrong! _

_I thought that could have happened, I mean, obviously Tonks is a beautiful woman, smart and adventurous so I don't doubt there were men who liked her and I thought that Remus would feel even more insecure about himself and their couple. _

_As usual, you can review to tell me what you like/dislike. _

_Have a good day! xx _


	44. Every little moments

_"Wonderful stuff, you know, little things like that. Ah, but, those are the things I miss the most. The little idiosyncrasies that only I knew about. That's what made her my wife. Oh, and she had the goods on me, too, she knew all my little peccadilloes People call these things imperfections, but they're not, aw, that's the good stuff. And then we get to choose who we let in to our weird little worlds."_

Will Hunting _(Matt Damon and Ben Affleck)_

* * *

Tonks folded her arms in front of her chest, pretending that she was already sleeping and that she didn't want to cuddle up to him. She liked to do that because Remus would force her to open her eyes again and be affectionate. Sometimes, he thought that he'd try not to react and do the same but he just couldn't. So he kissed her shoulder and slid his hand under her shirt and traced pattern with his finger on her bare skin. For once, he really traced a definite pattern, a crown.

"My princess." He said quietly and he saw her open her eyes, looking at the ceiling; "You have the name of a princess."

"Tonks?"

"Nymphadora, silly." He chuckled and so did she. She turned to look at him and they looked at each other tenderly, thousands of words expressed silently. "You're my princess." He said and he liked the look on her face. She seemed to like the little name, to like what he was saying. He didn't know exactly how this idea came into his mind but it did. It was silly, in some ways. They weren't in a fairy tale, this was real life. "I wish I could treat you like a princess deserves."

"There's no princess treated better than I am." She said looking at him reassuringly.

"Hmm" Remus said not believing what she had just said. He knew she wanted him to feel better so he didn't push the question.

"So are you gonna kiss me to wake me up from my long sleep?" She asked daring him.

"Indeed, I am." He said but she kept looking at him, smiling, trying not to actually but failed. "You need to be sleeping." Remus said through a chuckle and she stuck her tongue at him.

"Oh yeah right." She said laughing and she closed her eyes, waiting for him. She waited, not very long before she opened an eye to check what he was doing. "What are you waiting for?"

"For a hufflepuff you're not very patient." Remus stated, keeping his eyes on her. "Close your eyes."

Remus was actually taking his time, looking at her, he loved her face. So, he took his time moving closer to her and Remus eventually pressed his lips against hers; he gave her one quick soft kiss and then kissed her more passionately. He kissed her more loosely, letting his hands wander on her skin and he loved to feel her response with even more eagerness. She took his face in her hands, and as he laid on her she was pressing her body against his.

"That's not an appropriate way for a prince to kiss a princess." Tonks said amused against his lips.

"That's not an appropriate way for a princess to kiss back her prince." Remus said kissing her again.

"Oh really?" She said between two kisses.

"Hmm Hmm" Remus only managed to utter some nodding agreement against her lips.

She pushed him aside and made her way on top of him.

"What do you think now?"

"I think I'm glad you were stubborn enough to prove your point." He said smiling against her lips. Tonks made her way down his throat leaving kisses and he was really glad that she wanted to contradict him. He felt her hands against his chest, going down his pyjama's trousers. He felt her untie the ribbon. She looked back at him, raising an eyebrow as if she was checking he wanted to and he just pulled her closer to him to kiss her properly.

* * *

Remus loved everything about her, even her flaws, though he could hardly call them flaws. But he was there for her even in the bad moments. And Tonks had her moments, especially when she had a bad day.

Once, she came back from work not saying a word but Remus could just see that something was wrong.

"Bad day?" He tried to ask nicely.

"Yeah. I don't want to talk about it." She said sharply and she lay on the sofa. Remus knew that if she really didn't want to talk she would have gone to her flat but she didn't. So he let her alone, staying at his desk looking at his files again, and after five minutes or so he walked to the couch and kneeling so he could look at her. He gave her a kiss on the forehead and stroked her hair a little before he leaned his back on the couch. He reached for the remote of the muggle tv and turned it on; he found a tv show that they watched sometimes, though he wasn't really paying much attention to it at the moment. After a moment, he felt Nymphadora's hand stroking his arm, and then her chin was on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry. I'm a horrible person to live with." She said in a very low voice.

"No, you're not. We both have our moments." Remus answered and he turned his head slightly so that his nose was touching her cheek.

"Come here." She said patting on the couch. She moved to be just against the back of the sofa. Remus did as she said and he lay just in front of her, looking at her tenderly. He gave her a kind smile and she kissed him as if trying to prove how much she loved him. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her into a tight hug. He continued kissing her loosely and lingeringly and let one of his hand wander on her side, to her knee and then just stroking her thigh. He moved his lips to her cheek leaving small kisses and then whispered in her ear.

"I think I know how to make you feel better." She moaned not having a clue of what he was going to do, he slid his hand to her side and he tickled her. He put both his hands on her sides and tickled her until he was sure she was laughing completely. She kept telling him to stop but she was laughing so much he just couldn't, he knew she liked when he did this. Remus was straddling her, his knees pressing her hips so she could fight him back. He eventually stopped and he looked at her sitting on her but not resting his whole weight on her.

"You're the best." She said and she placed her hands on his neck, pulling him to her and kissed him so tenderly it made Remus melt. He lay back on the sofa, his legs entwined between hers.

After kissing her long enough – though he doubt it would actually ever be enough – he gave her one more kiss on the forehead and then just let his nose nuzzle his nose in her hair, while Tonks was stroking his jaw with the tip of her fingers and with the tip of her nose.

"You're the best at cheering me up."

"Well, I like to think I am." He answered leaving small kisses on her face.

"Today…" She started but she then hesitated, Remus guessed she would tell him about her day. "We had an Auror who is not often here, he usually is around the Minister and we were on a mission, and trust me that guy's a bloody asshole. I was about to hex him, I really was and Mad-Eye saw me but he didn't say anything, not in front of everyone but he send me a bit away to "check" something. He just didn't want me to get fired. He told me I shouldn't care about what he says and I shouldn't get this too personal."

"What did he talk about?" Remus asked a bit curious, and wondered why she didn't say it clearly.

"Doesn't matter." She said avoiding his eyes.

"It doesn't look like it." Remus said quietly, but frowning a little.

"You don't want to know." She said playing with the collar of his shirt.

"I do." He said holding her wrist in his hand.

"He talked about… I quote 'dark creatures'." She paused taking a long breath. "He talked about werewolves."

"Oh." It was the only word Remus managed to utter.

"He said things I don't even want to repeat." Tonks said, her voice breaking a little at the end. Remus didn't insist, though he was curious, he only wanted to understand why she was feeling so bad. She looked up at him and looking as if she was about to cry in the next second. She continued playing with his collar avoiding his eyes.

"He said werewolves were more animals than humans and they shouldn't be even allowed to live among wizards… neither among muggles. He said more horrible things and I actually used other words because you should never have to hear things like that." She said the last words looking at him again. "He's wrong, he's so wrong. And at first, I tried to prove him wrong but he continued and I thought I was about to make him eat his own bloody cloak. He's so wrong. I know you're more of a man than he is. _He_ is the animal. He's a bloody beast. He's so stupid. I wonder how he even became an Auror. Mad-Eye tried to prove him wrong too but then he sent me out so I don't know how it ended."

"I'm used to these people, Dora. Not everyone loves a werewolf."

"I know not everyone will love you, or me or anyone. That's life. But still, he doesn't have to be a prejudiced git! He doesn't know _a simple thing _about werewolves but he judges people like you just because he thinks he's oh so much better."

"I'm sorry Dora, I'm sorry you had to go through this." Remus said and he felt guilty. He realized what he was asking from her… and he had so little to give in return. He rested his forehead on hers.

"It's not _your_ fault. He's a git! I know you, I know who you are. You're the best person I've ever met." She said and she pressed her lips against him, as if proving her point.

"He's just the first one but when you'll keep hearing other people saying this."

"And I will never believe a word they say. I love _you_, Remus." She said and then a mischievous glint appeared in her eyes. "Now I'm the one who'll need to make you feel better." Tonks said and she kissed his jaw, and his lips. She left kisses until her lips were near his ear. "How about, I snog you senseless until I'm sure you won't let _my_ day get you down _or…_ I could tickle you, just like you did to me."

"We both know you're a better person than I am, you won't tickle me." Remus said already laughing lightly.

"Love is blinding you, my love." She whispered and she tickled him, straddling him just like he had done. Remus laughed but he managed to catch her wrist, stopping her from tickling him. He had to wait a several seconds before speaking so he could breathe normally again.

"So, what do you say now?" Remus asked smiling pulling her closer to him slowly.

"I say I kiss you senseless." She said before she caressed his lips with hers before really kissing him.

In these simple moments of everyday life he realized how much he loved her. Maybe one day, he'd ask her to marry her, he'd wait of course, to be sure she really wants to be with him… but he'd ask her because he would never want to spend a day away from her again. Sirius could be his best man, Harry too. Ginny would certainly be her bridesmaid, with Molly for sure. Remus would love to try and make her happy for the rest of his life, he sure was happy with her.

So when Remus received a letter from his old friend Laurent Freogan telling him he hadn't paid him a visit since a long time, he didn't hesitate very long before saying he would come soon, and he didn't hesitate before asking Tonks to come with him. Mr Freogan was one of his parents' friends, and therefore Remus' friend too. He was a nice man, and he stayed Remus' friend through the years even if they didn't see each other very often, they didn't need to. He was like family for Remus now.

So one evening, when Tonks had come home from work and was working at his desk on some of her paper work that she had brought home to leave earlier, Remus decided to ask her.

"Dora, darling, do you remember when I talked to you about my friend Laurent Freogan?" Remus asked

"Your parents' friend?"

"Yes, him. Well, we still write to each other and he told me that it's been a long time since I didn't pay him a visit, which is actually true. I thought I could go this weekend, on Sunday."

"I'll spend the day at my flat." Tonks said with a kind smile. Remus only laughed lightly.

"I actually wanted you to come with me, but if you'd rather spend the day at your flat, I can only understand."

"Really?" She asked her eyes widened in surprise.

"Of course if you don't want to –"

"No, no, not this part. You wanted me to come?"

"Yes."

"You told me he was the person closest to family to you."

"Yes, indeed."

"And you want me to meet him." Tonks said, the surprise still in her tone.

"Yes. I think you got that idea clearly." Remus said laughing. "So, you want to?"

"Yes. I'm glad you asked." She said before she got up to kiss him. "But you're not scared he'll think I'm a freak? I mean, you're not afraid he'll think I'm stupid? Or I don't know… that he won't like me?"

"He'll like you, don't worry about that."

"And I'll actually be your girlfriend, for real?" Tonks said worriedly.

"Yes. I love when you say it, I feel young." He said before he gave her a kiss on the cheek. "And for your information Dora, I met your parents."

"Yeah but it was the beginning, we were pretending to be friends."

"Wasn't it worse?"

"It was easier!"

"They could have said 'We're glad our daughter doesn't date you because you're too old and you're a werewolf and you don't have a penny to your name.'"

"Yeah right!"

"Anyway, the worst case scenario for with Laurent Freogan would be that he thinks you're way too good for me and I will only agree."

"Pff. Don't be stupid."

"You still want to come, right?"

"Yes, of course yes. I'm really happy you want me to meet him." She said with a wide smile.

* * *

On Sunday morning, Remus was confronted to a very nervous Nymphadora, and he would have even laughed if he wasn't sure he'd get hexed if he dared laugh.

"Do you think I can wear the blue dress you gave me for Christmas? Or is too dressy? I could wear it with a woollen jumper and my boots." Tonks asked for Remus's advice again.

"That'll be just fine." Remus said for the tenth time maybe, sitting on the edge of the bed while Tonks was looking at the cupboard.

"Or do you think I should wear a jean? More simple. But most of my jeans are really patched and that's what I wear for work, I don't want him to think I'm rude."

"Jeans are fine too."

"So you think the dress is too much?"

"No, I think the dress is really great and I think the man who chose it had a really good taste."

"You mean you didn't choose it? You asked someone else?" Tonks asked not getting the joke. Remus wondered if his sense of humour was that bad or if Tonks didn't get all the jokes all the time.

"No, I meant me."

"Oh, sorry." She said sheepishly but Remus didn't mind he had noticed that she was very slightly nervous about meeting his friend.

"So, do you think I can wear the dress? Because I really love it but –"

"But you look very great in it, and that's perfect this way."

"Alright, I'll go for the dress." Remus was relieved that she had finally found something to wear because he had to hear her talking about clothes for more than twenty minutes. She wear on her b zaffre blue ¾ sleeves dress made of a rounded neck top linked with a navy blue tutu skirt with a grey lining just a bit visible. She wore it with light black tights and her grey thin boots.

"About my hair, do you think I should wear it more natural? Or keep the pink?"

"In what mood are you?" He asked as he got up and walked to her, wrapping her arms around her waist looking at her in the mirror.

"I don't know. I don't want him to think I'm a freak."

"He won't think you're a freak, really, you shouldn't worry."

"So I can keep the pink?"

"Yes." He said and she looked at her reflexion, not changing her hair. "I love your pink hair." He said and he left a kiss on the side of her head, nuzzling his nose in her hair. Tonks was looking at him in the mirror; he was wearing his best clothes, the big woollen jumper she had got him for Christmas, with a shirt under it. His best dark grey trousers, the ones he wasn't wearing often.

"You look very handsome." She said turning to face him, with a shy smile on her face. "And I think I'm ready now."

He took a step back to take a good look at her. "You look lovely." He said smiling at her. "And sexy, too." He whispered in her ear.

"You'll manage to behave while we're away?" She said, trying to mimic his professorish tone.

"Hmm.. I'll try." He answered kissing her tenderly.

They headed to his friend's house. It was in a little village, the houses were all far from each other and it was a quiet place. Laurent Freogan was an old man, old enough to be Remus's father. He was a friend of his parents, and the only one who keep talking to them after Remus's attack. For that, Remus had always been grateful and even after his parents' death he stayed in contact with him. They send letters to each other regularly and met a few times a year.

Tonks and Remus apparated in a little road in the middle of meadows and fields and they walked along the path, their fingers entwined enjoying the small wind and the fine weather.

"That's his house." Remus said pointing to a small melon coloured house.

"It's pretty." Tonks said smiling. Remus had rarely seen so shy and nervous. Remus gave her hand a squeeze and kissed the top of her head.

Remus knocked on the door, looking at Tonks reassuringly and winked at her. The door opened and a small, white haired man opened the door. He was wearing a white shirt and a light brown jumper, brown trousers and brown leather shoes, no doubt his Sunday shoes.

"Ah Remus!" He said joyfully. Remus shook hands with him, he always liked his enthusiasm. "And you must be Nymphadora?"

"Yes sir, but you can call me Tonks." A dog rushed into their legs, it was a golden retriever who apparently already liked Nymphadora.

"Come in, come in!" He led them inside the little house, the muggle tv was on and the table was dressed. "No, you stay outside Duffy!" The man walked back in the living room and said joyfully: "How are you?"

"Very fine, thank you. How are you doing?" Remus said.

"Same as always! And you, Nymphadora, how are you? Remus didn't tell me you were so lovely."

"I'm very fine, thank you for having me here. But you can call me Tonks."

"It's my pleasure. You know Remus never brought any woman here."

"Really? He never said that." Tonks said and Remus noticed the proud glint in her eyes.

"It's true." Remus admitted glad to see how Tonks seemed glad about this fact.

"Let's sit. We're not gonna wait on our feet all day long, are we?" Laurent said as he gestured towards the couch. The old man sat in his chair while Remus and Tonks both sat on the couch.

"So Nymphadora, Remus told me you're an Auror." Remus looked at Nymphadora who frowned lightly at the use of her first name but the man seemed so kind that she didn't seem to have the heart to get him right. Remus was pleased to see that Laurent Freogan already seemed to love Tonks.

"Yes, for a few years now."

"She's been trained by Alastor Moody. You remember him?"

"Oh yeah. Quite the man!"

"Well, you have his little protégée in front of you."

"Really?"

"Well, I wouldn't have put it that way, but yes, he's been my trainer and now we're colleague because technically he's not my superior anymore. Kingsley Schaklebott he's the head of the Auror Office. But Mad-Eye… I mean, Alastor is still teaching me many things."

"You've always wanted to be an Auror?"

"I don't know when it came into my mind, but it seemed like the only path ahead of me. I think it's when they told us what we could do, it came naturally to me."

"You seem to be a very independent woman." Laurent said very approvingly.

"Trying to be."

"And how did you two met?" He asked looking from Remus to Tonks.

"We met at a friend's dinner." Remus answered, placing his hand on Tonks' knee. "And then… I don't know it was natural, wasn't it?"

"Yes I think so. Remus is easy to love." Tonks said laughing lightly, blushing a little. Remus noticed Laurent's concern as he frowned, he knew what he was thinking. _Does she know that you're a werewolf?_

"She knows."

"I'm worried, did you start occlumency lessons?" The old man said laughing.

"No, but I know you very well now."

"I'm sorry Nymphadora, I must have looked very rude to you."

"No, not at all. I understand that you want what's best for Remus." Tonks said kindly and politely. Merlin, he loved this woman.

"But tell me, and don't look at that silly man here," Laurent said waving at Remus "did he actually open up to you right away?"

"You do know him very well!" Tonks said trying not to laugh too much "I actually had to fight for him, and against himself!"

"I'd like to say I'm surprised, but I'm not. Remus, when a woman like Miss Tonks wants you, you don't turn her down."

"You should listen to him." Tonks said amused.

"I'm sorry but I do have valid reasons for my defence."

"No, from the moment I said I didn't care, there weren't valid anymore."

"Anyway, I noticed you've planted a new tree in the frontyard?" Remus said, trying to change the subject but Laurent was looking at him with a kind smile.

"Good change of subjects, very subtle." Tonks said chuckling but she didn't push the subject.

"Yes, I thought it'd be good."

"It is."

"Is it the pink one? This one is very lovely." Tonks said.

"No, that one is… well, it is very old." Laurent said nostalgically. Remus knew where this one came from; the man had told him when he was a kid. This one was his late wife idea.

They then ate their meal, telling stories, a lot about Remus's childhood – stories he wished Tonks would have never heard. Then, before taking a coffee Laurent told Remus to make Tonks go in the backyard, which was similar to her parents' actually. It was a huge place, with several big trees and some extraordinary plants and flowers. Remus loved this place and he loved to come here and help Laurent in the garden.

"You see this big tree there?" Remus said pointing to one in the back "I actually helped Laurent putting it into earth, and he still has it."

"You spent a lot of time with him?"

"Yes, and his wife. But she died, several years ago. Like I said, they were the only ones who still talked to my parents after I got bitten, so they were my friends too, since no one really wanted to talk to me."

"He's a very nice man."

"Yes, he really is. He's kind and fair."

"Hoo shit!" Tonks said her feet sliding on the grass, as she lost her balance. Remus quickly got hold of her waist and helped her back steading on her feet, pressing her slightly against him.

"Thank you." She said with a mischievous glint in her eyes.

"You know I'm always here to catch you."

"I really love you, you know that?" She said before she pressed her lips for a small kiss but Remus placed his hand in her hair preventing her from pulling away too quickly.

"And I love you." He said against her lips and she kissed him smiling quickly. He loved feeling her smile against his lips.

"Hey lovebirds! Coffee's ready!" Laurent shouted from the kitchen's door. His dog ran towards them and kept turning around Tonks. She kneeled to pat him gently.

"You know Duffy, I know a big dog just like you!" Tonks said laughing and she glanced back at Remus who burst out laughing when he heard her.

"Isn't Snuffles bigger?" Remus asked.

"Yeah! Bigger! He used to come to my house as a dog sometimes, before it was even too dangerous for him to come as an Animagi. He would always make me laugh and play with me under his dog form.

They then headed back to the house, hands in hands, their fingers entwined together. Remus noticed that Tonks glanced at their hands and in looked at her questionably.

"It's just, we're always holding hands."

"Do you mind? I mean, I don't really think I just got the habit."

"No, I don't mind at all. It's just, I like how you always hold my hand and I mean, I'm searching for yours just as well each time." Remus was still raising his eyebrow. "I had one boyfriend, for quite a moment but with him… we were never holding hands, I never had the need to always have him near me but with you… it's different."

"I'm really glad, because I like having you around too, and I feel better when I have your hand in mine."

"You're sweet." Tonks said and she gave him a kiss on the cheek.

They sat at the table, drinking a coffee.

"You may be the first woman Remus brought in my house but I think he made a very good choice."

"You didn't have to remind her that she's the first one."

"Argh don't be ashamed!" Laurent said amused.

"I'm not ashamed." Remus said defensively. Sometimes he felt just like a kid when he was back in this house. Since his parents' death, Laurent, and his wife before her death, had become a parental figure for him sometimes.

"You better not!" Tonks said and her eyebrows rose defiantly.

"I like this girl." Laurent said nodding his head.

"I knew you would." Remus said kindly.

"You know, Nymphadora, you make me think of my wife, Dandelia. She would have loved you." Laurent took a long breath and with a sad smile he continued "just like you she was kind and she enlightened a room with her happiness. We were married for 48 years, she left a few years ago and Merlin knows a part of me left with her, that day. But I've loved her, like I never loved anyone else… And I still do. She was a kind woman; do you remember how she would prepare your favourite cakes when she knew you would come here, Remus?" He nodded smiling. He glanced at Tonks, she was smiling tenderly at the old man. "You know, we loved Remus just as if he was our son. Because, Dandelia couldn't have children, she would have been a perfect mother, I don't doubt it. So, when little Remus came over, she was always so happy and she learned to live knowing that she wouldn't have children. She grew out of this sorrow at some point. But this woman, I loved her, I really did. And when I look at you two, you remind me of us when we were young and I can only wish you a long and happy life together. Trust me, Nymphadora, if Remus brought you here it's because you mean a lot to him. And I know this man, sometimes he might be silly thinking that due to his condition he doesn't deserve a happy life, but I know you'll show him how wrong he is. I trust you for this, you seem a wonderful person to me." Remus shook his head, he knew that his friend meant good but he always felt a bit awkward were people talked about him in such a nice way.

"Thank you very much, Mr Fleogan. Don't worry; now that Remus let me in, I'm not letting him go so easily." Tonks said and she winked at him.

"Please, call me Laurent."

"Thank you Laurent." Tonks said smiling and she looked back at Remus placing her hand on his. She smiled at him and Remus felt a rush of affection for her.

* * *

By the end of the day, they left Laurent, knowing that he wouldn't go to bed too late. Tonks almost fell down in front of the door and Remus caught her again, she apologized blushing madly as she said she was a bit clumsy.

"You think he likes me? I've got authorization to snog you senseless in the closest meadow?" Tonks said laughing as they walked along the little road they had taken to come.

"I even think that if he was a few years younger you may have got your chances." Remus said mischievously.

"Oh really? You reckon I still got my chance?" Tonks said pretending to walk back to the little house but Remus caught her hand and pulled her to him.

"So you have a thing for older men?" Remus asked raising an eyebrow.

"No, but I do have a thing for, well, you actually." She said as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Remus kissed her soundly. He would never regret bringing her here; introducing her to the man he'd known almost all his life. He wished James and Lily could meet her; they would have loved her too.

"We could wander off a bit before going home, what do you think?" Remus asked sheepishly, looking around.

"I think that's a brilliant idea." Tonks answered and she entwined her fingers with his, giving his hand a squeeze and she winked at him.

They walked, laughing, small talking, or laughing at some of Laurent's stories. They eventually got home and as far as he could remember, Remus felt normal. Not normal in the boring sense of the word, but normal as he forgot that he was a werewolf who didn't have the right to any of these beautiful things that his life was made of recently. He had presented the woman he loved to one of his oldest friend and they had a little walk on a Sunday afternoon, in the middle of meadows with the cold win rising slowly.

* * *

Remus had many reasons to love Sundays in general, he loved waking up and feeling already warm because Tonks was against his. Usually, he woke up before she did and he spent the time waiting for her in a mid-sleeping-mid awaken state. Then, he'd feel if she woke up.

When Remus moved onto his back, she turned, as if feeling the emptiness behind her and she snuggled against him, her head on his chest. With time, Remus thought he must be a comfortable pillow.

He felt her breath being less regular and then she started stroking his skin, tracing patterns with her fingertips.

"Hello, beautiful." Remus said his voice croakier than he thought.

"Wotcher, love." Tonks whispered.

"Had a good night?"

"Hmm yes, I had a very good and weird dream with you in."

"Really, please tell me." Remus said already amused, he was used to her weird dreams or to her dreams in general. He was always impressed by Tonks' imagination.

"You were here, with me at work. Well it was at work but it didn't look like my office at all; I think it was my elementary school actually. And we were having a drink on a nice table in summer and there were cat / bat weird animals and they scared me when they were flying towards me but when they were sitting on the table they were cute. They had big eyes, big blue eyes and a beak but I swear they were cats, though they had bat wings. And anyway, I managed to make say "oops" to one of them. And you were hugging me every time they were flying towards me."

"Your brain keeps surprising me. I don't think there was one of these things in the movie we've watched last night."

"No, I don't know where it all came from but at least it wasn't a nightmare." Tonks said chuckling but he knew she hated nightmares, because it wasn't just a nightmare with monsters or things like that, it was too personal.

"How about we head for the kitchen and have breakfast? I'm starving." Remus said already well wakened up. Tonks moaned loudly and hide her face on his chest.

"Come on, Dora."

"One condition."

"Everything you want." Remus answered.

"Alright." Tonks said and she got up, taking the bed duvet with her.

"Really?" Remus shouted as she walked in the living room, the bed duvet wrapped around her.

"You said everything!" Tonks said and Remus eventually followed her, putting a t shirt on and he walked to the living room.

"Alright, I'll prepare breakfast." Remus said and he did. He came back with her bowl of cereals and he had a cup of coffee and some buns with chocolate in it.

"You're a sweetheart." Tonks said before she gave him a kiss on the cheek. "I think I'm pushing my luck everytime a little more." She had turned on muggle tv and they chose a good program to watch and eventually chose a funny tv show.

Remus couldn't keep his eyes on the screen for very long and soon, he was kissing her temple, then her cheek. He kept giving her light kisses and he noticed how it made her smile. She put her bowl on the little table in front of them and took his face in her hands and before she planted a kiss on his lips she looked at him, smiling, looking at his eyes, his lips and his eyes again, and his hair too. But then Remus was too busy looking at her to notice what her eyes were looking at. And in those little moments, Remus just knew he was happy. He did not need big declarations, but the way she was looking at him, the way she cared for him, the way she absolutely enjoyed making fun of him sometimes and the way she smiled when he did the same to her, the way he loved her and the way she loved him.

He didn't know if he was pushing his luck too, maybe he was, maybe he didn't have the right to this but during these moments, but he couldn't care less.

* * *

Too soon, it was the 18th of June; Remus would never forget this date, just as he would never forget the 31th of October. Remus and Tonks were in the living room, sitting on the couch both reading a book. Tonks had her feet on his lap and Remus kept stroking her ankle.

Sirius's patronus ran in the house, it was a dog, just like him under his Animagus form.. "Come here, right now!" It was his voice, urgent and angry. Remus and Tonks looked at each other quickly and got up without saying a word. Remus grabbed her hand and they side apparated to the Head-quarters, they walked in quickly.

"It's Harry!" Sirius shouted. "He's gone to the Ministry!"

"What? How? Why?" Tonks asked urgently. Remus held her hand tighter, not sure if he was reassuring her, or himself.

"He thinks I'm there. He thinks Voldemort got me there. We need to go now!" Sirius shouted.

* * *

_Hey everyone! I hope you like this one; I know it's a little bit weird but well if you read the title of the chapter you understand why it's written like this. This one took me quite a lot of time and when I wanted to publish it I had a new idea to put into it but now I think it's good._

_And about the dream : the little cat/bat with a beak it's actually true, it was in one of my dream from Monday night I think. I wish I could draw it to you and the quote is from Will Hunting, I've seen the movie a few days ago; if you haven't I advise you to watch it, it's really good. :)_

_Voilà! Don't hesitate to review, tell me what you think. I absolutely love your reviews every time. They make my day brighter._

_I wish you all a very good day/night. _

_(And I wish a Happy Birthday to David Thewlis (one day late) and Gary Oldman) ( my friend told me that David Thewlis was now too old for me pfft I don't believe it haha) _

_xx_


	45. The End Of An Era - Part I

_"There were so many of us who would have to live with things done and things left undone that day. Things that did not go right, things that seemed okay at the time because we could not see the future. If only we could see the endless string of consequences that result from our smallest actions. But we can't know better until knowing better is useless."_

John Green - Looking for Alaska

* * *

When Sirius Black looked back at his life, he didn't regret a lot of things. No doubt his friendship with Peter Pettigrew, but then, he didn't regret any of his choice. Leaving his family, working for the Order, escape Azkaban.

He had found Remus Lupin. And they were the last two marauders. He had seen his little cousin, Nymphadora Tonks and had got some contact with his cousin Andromeda. Though he was stuck in this awful house he had so longed to leave when he was young, he didn't regret anything. He had seen his godson, Harry. Harry Potter, he was so much like his father, with the fair spirit of his mother. A real Gryffindor he was, and just like his father: girls liked him, for sure. Sirius noticed the way Ginny Weasley looked at him, she reminded him a bit of Lily Potter too, and she sure had a strong personality.

Sirius had had a few girlfriends when he was young, but he never committed like James had, and then he was sent to Azkaban and never had the chance to meet someone. But he didn't regret, if he had to devote his life to the Order, he would do it again. Remus had been luckier than he was in love – though he would tell anyone that werewolves didn't have the right to have someone – he seemed to have found his mate, the person who would spend the rest of her life with him, this person was no other than Nymphadora Tonks.

Remus may not have told her, but he didn't have many girlfriends in the past, he had two to whom he hadn't say he was a werewolf, thinking – with the advice of his friends – that it'd be better to wait before telling more about him. This hadn't proven to be a very good idea, quite the opposite actually. They obliviated one and the other simply said, later, that she didn't like him enough to stay with him, but she never told anyone about his condition to anyone, maybe because she was in the Order she respected him. And there was another one, who knew about him, but Remus didn't love her. He liked her as a good friend and he didn't want anything more between them, they kept working as colleagues of the Order and she died in a mission.

But Nymphadora Tonks… that was something. How quickly these two had fell in love, even before they even noticed they were. There had been something between the two of them the very first time: a sort of chemistry between them, an easy understanding of one another. They were just friends at the beginning, and Sirius had never seen Remus open to someone so easily – of course in a very Remusy way. But Tonks had found the way to know him, to make him break the walls he had built over the years to protect himself from the rest of the world. Remus had embarrassed himself a few times, where he would find himself a little bit too close to her, catching her before she fell down as clumsy as she was. And he laughed, Remus laughed in a way Sirius hadn't seen him laugh since Hogwarts. The first war had taken everything away from Remus and he was left with sorrow and emptiness. Nymphadora gave him back everything, she had showed him that he could be happy again, he could be loved again.

And Remus had been good for her; he remembered when she had spoken with Sirius about Remus. Sirius had let slip out that Remus's boggart was her lifeless body. She was speechless, not only for several minutes but she kept looking at Sirius her eyes opened a bit wide in shock and after several attempts at opening her mouth to speak, she stopped and Sirius changed the subject. He doubted she had said anything to Remus about it and he was glad she hadn't. She had told him how different Remus was from the guys she had seen.

"You know, Remus is so loving he doesn't even realize he's surprising me." She said laughing lightly. "You have the right to laugh at me but I wasn't used to someone who treated me right, and not just the first weeks. I mean, after several months he's still so sweet. Don't tell him I said that!"

"I won't."

"You promise?"

"I promise." Sirius said to his young cousin. Sirius loved Tonks and he was proud he could tell she was family. He wasn't very proud of his family but he was proud of her. "But promise me something." Sirius said sounding more serious than he wished. "We never know what could happen; I want you to promise me you won't let my old Moony alone."

"What do you mean 'we never know what could happen'?"

"I mean there's a war going on and people happen to die." Sirius said looking at her and seeing himself in her. A younger himself, a Sirius who thought that a war could be win, that the worst people in the world couldn't _actually_ succeed, that the rest of the world would be in their right mind and stop it but he soon discovered that it wasn't that easy and he had been a little naïve. Tonks wasn't naïve, she was an Auror but she was so young during the first war. Sirius didn't blame her, it was only natural to be optimistic and she was young, it would be just sad if she was pessimistic.

"You won't die." She said. She wasn't joking, she was serious and Sirius noticed a glint of sadness in her voice.

"I know you don't want your favourite cousin to die," Sirius said with a smile but they were both talking quite seriously actually. "But you never know. I lost my best friends, a brother really and I didn't see it coming. I know that if James had known what would happen he would have told us to take care of each other and of his son. So I tell you, if something happen, could you please prevent him from running away?"

"Running away?" Tonks asked a bit surprised.

"Yeah, one day, he told me that after James and Lily's death and everything he's heard about me he couldn't stay here and he ran away. Went in another city, and worked in a muggle city. People were celebrating Voldemort's disappearance but he had lost most of his friends in one night and he couldn't celebrate anything so he lived somewhere else and Dumbledore only found him to work at Hogwarts."

"He didn't tell me all of this."

"Remus doesn't like people to pity him; I understand why he didn't tell you. He didn't tell me right away either. Don't blame him."

"I don't. I understand too." Tonks said with such tender Sirius thought Remus was indeed very lucky. "I promise." Tonks said with a smile. "And if anything happen to me, you do the same, right?"

"Of course but I'm scared that black women are not easy to fight!" Sirius said laughing lightly.

"I'm more of a Tonks than a Black, no offense." She said with a jokingly smile.

"None taken, I can't say I'm much of a Black either. Only a black dog, I'm afraid."

"You make a very good dog." Tonks said laughing. "I remember when I was a kid and you came see my parents as Snuffles."

"You were so young and you were always asking your parents why I couldn't be pink like you. Let me tell you I prayed not for you to accidentally turn me pink."

"You'd have made a very pretty doggie."

"If you call me doggie again, I'm gonna call you by your full name, Nympha –"

"It's fine, fine. I won't." She said laughing.

Sirius loved his cousin. He loved her for loving Remus so well, because he wasn't a fool and he saw how the years had marked him. He had lost everything and he had been a broken man for so long and there she was, making him laugh and making nasty plan with Remus on Sirius, hoping it would make him in a better mood. It had worked sometimes; he remembered one very well because it had upset him so much they didn't even dared walk out of the library. They had charmed the bottled of firewhiskey so that after he had unscreedw the cap and bend the bottle to pour himself a drink, nothing came out. The liquid remained stuck inside; they had done this to all the bottles.

Sirius had stormed in the corridor telling them to get out of the library but they didn't and Remus added:

"We will only leave when we'll be sure you won't hex us." He had talked very calmly but Sirius could hear Tonks giggling behind the door. They came out only half an hour later, no doubt they were already busy k-i-s-s-i-n-g at the time.

Ah, all the time Sirius found them kissing, at the beginning he tried to leave unnoticed and let them alone: Sirius didn't want to push Remus because he was scared he'd reject Tonks for his apparently _justified_ reasons. But they were quite obvious, if they thought one day that they were acting discreetly, they were bloody wrong. Maybe during the meetings, they were, because they were both talking to other people sometimes but they were betraying themselves with the mischievous smile they shared, as if they were the only ones on earth.

Sirius noticed that when they were just the three of them, they wouldn't hide their tender gestures before they were together. The way Remus held her hand under the table, or the way he looked at her lovingly every time she was speaking, and even more lovingly when she was laughing. And when she was asking if her hair was fine – a bit fishing for compliments, but Sirius didn't blame her at all – Remus would always say in a soft voice "Your hair looks lovely, it always looks lovely no matter which colour." Remus didn't mind complimenting her; he actually seemed to enjoy this very much.

And when they told him they were together, they no longer hid anything. Sirius pretending to find it disgusting but he didn't really care – he had been used to worse hearing James's long monologue about Lily.

* * *

Once, Tonks and Remus were both in the living room and Sirius only came downstairs, when he was at the open entrance between the living room and the kitchen he saw Tonks opening her arms widely smiling waiting for Remus to take her in his arms and he did so, with an amused smile he slid his arms around her waist and held her so tight he lifted her up from the floor.

"You could have morphed some pounds away." Remus said laughing and Tonks gave him a light kick on the side of his leg. "I'm kidding." He said laughing.

"You're a strong wolf?"

"Yes, yes Dora, I'm a strong wolf." He said laughing pulling her down on her feet.

"And I'm your mate?"

"You're a bit more than my mate." He answered, laughing.

"What? isn't the word mate for a wolf's lover?"

"I think it is, yes." Remus said laughing, nuzzling his nose in her hair.

"So I'm a she-wolf too?" Tonks asked and Sirius could hear she tried to contain her laugh but Remus couldn't anymore.

"Yes, Dora, you're my she-wolf if you want." Remus said. Sirius knew that Remus only joked about his lycanthropy with the people he was close to. "You do have the temperament of a she-wolf sometimes." Tonks laughed and Remus kissed her hair. "You're my lover." Remus said in a more tender tone.

"I like this word." Tonks answered stroking her nose on his jaw. Then Remus kissed her, so Sirius cleared his throat and didn't mention that he had witnessed their little talk.

"Oh, sorry." Tonks said hiding her face in his chest.

"You don't have to pretend to be sorry." Sirius said laughing lightly and he sat in the chair. Remus laughed and he sat on the sofa, pulling Tonks toward him and she sat, cuddling a little next to him. Remus placed his arm around her shoulder and Sirius wondered if he had ever seen Remus so affectionate with someone before, and he clearly doubted it.

Sirius also liked to tease them a bit, especially if it was because Sirius had caught them exchanging love words.

"You know I love you just how you are." Tonks said sitting on his lap.

"I love you too, my Dora." Remus answered before kissing her lips.

"I love when you call me like that, though I liked to think I was an independent woman."

"I liked to think I was independent too." Remus said laughing lightly.

"You're not anymore?" Tonks asked pleasingly surprised.

"I'm afraid that my happiness very much depends on you."

"You're a sweetheart today." Tonks said giving him a kiss on the cheek.

"Today?" Remus asked teasingly.

"Always." She said kissing him on the lips this time.

"Tonks, my sweetheart of cousin, could you take some food out of the cupboard next to you and put it on the table for your dear Moony?" Tonks stuck her tongue at him and she did as he asked and she handed Remus a rest of the chocolate bar.

"Always your lover first?"

"I know he likes it more." Tonks answered as she sat next to Remus.

"Aren't you jealous of chocolate sometimes?" Sirius asked laughing.

"Should I be?" Tonks asked turning her head to face her lover.

"No." Remus said before he kissed her forehead. "And the good thing is I can have both." Remus said with a mischievous glint in the eyes.

"What's that look you've just exchanged? You dirty man! I don't want to know what you're doing to my cousin."

"Well, it's more about what _I_ am doing to _him."_ Tonks said quite amused and Remus tried not to laugh.

"I can't believe you're the little girl who wanted a pink dog."

"Does that mean I can turn you pink when you're Snuffles?"

"No!" Sirius said quickly and Remus burst out laughing.

Remus had talked about Tonks with Sirius too, one evening when they were alone.

"Where's your lover, mate?" Sirius asked jokingly one evening as they were both sitting in the living room.

"She's working late."

"She's gonna come later?"

"She doesn't think so, but I'll tell her you missed her." Remus said smiling at satisfyingly.

"I just got used to see you two together."

"You can't have a good laugh; I understand you're a bit disappointed."

"It's quite a long time you've been together, now?"

"Indeed."

"Not planning on running away from her then." Sirius said, he wanted to have another Big Cousin talk with him.

"Why are you asking me this exactly, Sirius?" Remus asked, and his eyebrow rose.

"Just saying."

"No, I don't plan on leaving her."

"You _really_ love her then."

"I do. Look, Sirius, I told you I had rejected her at first and I know I'm not the best to express my feeling but yes, indeed I do love her and I care very much for her."

"I hope you do. You know, I talked with her a few days ago…" Sirius started and he then searched for his words. "We… hum… We talked about what I'd like her to do if anything happened to me."

"Sirius, you are safe in this house."

"But I won't stay in this house forever, there's a war at our window."

"I know."

"I didn't see James and Lily's death coming you know, and if anything happened to me, I wanted to tell her something."

"What did you say?" Remus asked but Sirius pretended not to hear.

"And I want to tell you not to run away if anything happened to me."

Remus waited before he answered, he seemed to be searching for his words.

"Alright, and if anything happens to me, you take care of her."

"Of course. But I doubted she'd let anything happen to you, Moony."

"She's tends to be a little bit possessive."

"Really?"

"Yes, but I don't blame her. I can be a little bit possessive, sometimes."

"You two have found each other very well."

"Indeed, we have. So don't worry, I know you care a lot for your cousin, but don't worry about that."

"And if nothing happens to me, I'll be best man for your wedding." Remus apparently didn't want to answer to this and just laughed and took a sip of his butterbeer. But Sirius knew his friend very well, he knew that look on his face, he knew that if he didn't want to answer it's because he'd love that day to happen actually. And Sirius would love to witness their wedding someday.

"And I'd like you to call your first child Sirius, I think that's only fair."

"No." Remus answered laughing. "I'm not calling a child Sirius, what if he was like you? A little Sirius, trying to prank me every second of the day: No." Remus said still laughing. "And I doubt Dora would like that too." Remus said shaking his head lightly.

"Ah, Moony.. Moony, Moony, Moony."

"Yes, Padfoot?"

"You should see your smile when you talk about her, you're _so_ in love. It's too bad James's not here because we would have had fun."

"There's nothing ridiculous about my behaviour."

"I wouldn't say 'ridiculous' but it's funny to see you this way. Even when you're with her, you're so affectionate. When you were younger, you were almost avoiding physical contact with everybody, always leaving a wall between you and everyone."

"Seems like she managed to break this wall."

"Yes, or seems like she just managed to find a little hidden door." Sirius said and Remus laughed lightly and took a sip of his butterbeer.

"You're a poet tonight, Padfoot."

"I have my moments."

"Oh yes, I remember. How was it again?

_Marlene, you are very tasty,_

_Even more than firewhiskey._

_You and I could have good fun, _

_meet me in the cupboard, _

_the one next to Filch's office, _

_I'll good use of the lips on your face_."

"I really was talented." Sirius said laughing as he remembered his youth.

* * *

But lately, Sirius had had some company, Fred and George had got expelled from Hogwarts – for the pleasure of Molly of course – and she had punished them to clean some rooms in the Headquarters. Of course, since Sirius finally had some company, he didn't say anything if they weren't cleaning. They had great discussions about pranks and other mischiefs and they also explained a bit of their project of shop and Sirius actually thought it was a brilliant idea. Maybe if there hadn't been a first war, the Marauders could have opened one too.

"You know, guys, I think it could work." Sirius said to the twins.

"We hope so, if it doesn't work Mum is gonna kill us." Fred said quite serious for once.

"Or worse." George said.

"During the first war, there was a place where everyone was sure to have a good time and it never emptied in those times."

"That's what we think, too." George said.

"It's not that we're oblivious to the times we're living in." Fred said

"But, we like to think that if things get worse, there will be a good place where people will go and know that there.."

"it will be like the time will have stopped."

"Trust me, people will just need this." Sirius said.

A few weeks later, Sirius was in Grimmauld Place as usual – where would he go anyway? – he was reading a book in the living room when Snape stormed in the House.

"Black? Are you here?" He shouted when he was in the kitchen.

"What are you doing here, Snape?" Sirius shouted back sharply.

"Your dear godson thinks you're in the department of Mysteries." Sirius said calmly which actually pissed off Sirius.

"What? Why?!"

"A vision from Voldemort, obviously." Snape answered still quietly.

"That's why you shouldn't have stopped giving him Occlumency lessons!" Sirius shouted. He took his wand and sent a patronus to Remus, and no doubt Tonks at the same time. Snape sent one to Dumbledore and then Sirius sent one to Mad-Eye and Kingsley.

Sirius could feel that it was the end of an era.

* * *

_Hey everyone! It's a bit short, sorry. I hesitated to put the next chapter with this one but I want to make it an independent chapter. You'll understand why when it'll be online. I need to write it, though it's all in my head. _

_I hope you like this chapter, Sirius's point of view. I thought he deserved one chapter for him because I do think he didn't regret a lot of things in his life, James and Lily's death wasn't his fault so he has nothing to regret about it. He could have never guessed that Peter would be a traitor, you know what I mean? I think that his choices, the things he's DONE, I don't think he regretted them. You have the right to disagree OF COURSE! but I just wanted to explain a bit why I wrote this. _

_Don't hesitate to tell me what you think, I'd love to know! _

_And I can't wait for you to read the next chapter! :D_

_Have a good day. :) xx _

_PS : Happy Easter day! I hope you'll get tons of chocolate. I'd love to give some to you all! _


	46. The End of an Era - Part II

_"After all, to the well-organised mind, death is but the next great adventure." J.K Rowling (Dumbledore : HP and the Philosopher's Stone)_

* * *

Ten Years Later.

* * *

_I said, remember this feeling. I passed the pictures around._

* * *

Sirius opened the door of his house. It was a sunny day of summer, a perfect day to make a small party with his friends. They all had the little habit of making a summer party with everyone : Sirius, his wife Adeline he had met after the war, Harry and Ginny – and actually all her brothers were coming – Remus and Tonks, Molly and Arthur too, McGonagall, Kingsley too if he wasn't too busy at the Ministry, and most of the people who were part of the Order.

It was the Lupin family, Remus, Tonks and little Teddy.

"Padfoot! Padfoot!" Teddy shouted at the sight of his Uncle.

"Hey kiddo! You came so I'll tell you all about the pranks I've made when I was young?"

"Yeah!" The blue haired kid shouted again.

Remus and Tonks were behind him looking tenderly over their son.

"Is everyone already here?" Remus asked.

"No, Bill and Fleur aren't here yet, and I don't know if Kingsley's coming."

"He told me he'd try his best but he's still working on the werewolf legislation. I don't mind him staying busy." Tonks said. She still had her bright pink hair.

"Dora..." Remus said trying to sound reprimanding but he failed miserably. Tonks stuck her tongue at him and Remus kissed her forehead.

Sirius and Teddy walked in the hall and Teddy stormed in the backyard. Sirius only heard "HARRY!" but wasn't as fast as the kid.

"So how're you doing Moony?"

"Very well, Kingsley asked me to publish my essay about werewolves. He said it could be helpful for the legislation." Remus tried to keep a modest tone.

"I'm so proud of him!" Tonks said as she wrapped her arms around her husband's waist. "Everyone is gonna see how stupid they were in the past."

"You it will take time to change the thinking." Remus said with a sad smile.

"But you see, you have a job now; it means it already is changing. But I don't want too many women around you. You're mine." Tonks said looking lovingly at him. Remus kissed her forehead again and she smiled.

"You're the only one I see, anyway." Remus said.

"I'm still in the room." Sirius said.

"Where's Adeline by the way?" Tonks asked.

"I think she's with Ginny and Angelina."

"I'll go say hi." Tonks said before she gave a quick kiss on the lips and walked to Sirius to give him a kiss on the cheek and she walked out of the room.

"I'm always impressed at how you two look just as in love – or even more in love – ten years later."

"What can I say? She's easy to love. Every day I realize that I have so many reasons to be in love with her. You know, it's the little things sometimes. The things she keeps just for me, the things she'll say only in front of me, and the things I'm the only one to know."

"She's been good to you, after everything we've all been through." Sirius said a bit tensed at the thought of the second War. He remembered how Tonks had thanked him for saving Remus – indeed, Sirius had come just in time to block Dolohov spell and ended killing him actually; he had already killed too many people.

_Tonks was there and as Sirius finished Dolohov, Remus sent such a strong spell at Bellatrix that she was sent on the other side of the castle. They had kept fighting and when Voldemort called for his followers to retreat, Tonks and Remus ran into each other's arms. _

_"You should have stayed home!" Remus said a bit angrily but relieved to see her._

_"Teddy's with my mother, he's fine. I needed to be with you, tonight. It's together or not at all."_

_"I love you so much!" Remus said and he held her tightly._

_When they released each other, Tonks looked at Sirius and ran to him and threw her arms around his neck to hug him._

_"Thank you! You saved him! And you're alive!" Tonks said._

_"You don't get rid of me so easily!" Sirius said laughing. Remus hugged him brotherly and then looked around them. They were people lying dead on the floor, and people suffering. Other people hugging the one they loved just like they had done. _

_"I'll start this way." Tonks said and she took Remus's hand before saying. "I want you near me. I'm not leaving you."_

Remus had told Sirius once, that there wasn't a day when Tonks didn't tell Remus that she loved him. With the years, they had all tried to live normally again. Sirius had met Adeline, a healer he met in the Great Hall during the battle of Hogwarts. He had helped her and they spent days together and they had simply fallen in love. Tonks and Remus had met her and said she was a very nice woman. Two years later they got married and Sirius they had had a child just a year later though Sirius thought he was a bit old to have children, Adeline was a bit younger than he was. His daughter was named Liliemeda for Lily Potter and Andromeda his favourite cousin. Liliemeda had Sirius's black hair but the shape of Adeline's face and blue eyes just like Adeline. She had Sirius's attraction to trouble but Adeline's easy kindness.

Sirius and Remus walked in the backyard and said hi to everyone.

"Hello Harry, Ginny." Remus said as he walked to the couple.

"Hey Remus!" Ginny said quite joyfully.

"Hi Remus. Teddy looks more and more like you every day." Harry said. It made Remus laugh interiorly because Harry looked more and more like his father as he got older.

"That's what Dora keeps saying but I swear I think he looks like her."

"No, love. He's a little Moony." Tonks said and she walked to her husband's side.

"At least, you gave him your gift, Boss." Harry said with a mischievous glint in the eyes.

"Stop calling me 'boss' Harry!" Tonks said laughing. Harry always liked to tease her with this.

"Now, you can tell me the truth Harry," Remus said very seriously "how is Tonks at work?" Remus asked but now he couldn't keep this grin out of his face.

"Tell him Harry!" Tonks said pointing her hand at Harry. Ginny was laughing and Sirius and Mary joined in the conversation.

"She's fine. Except when she becomes like Mad-Eye."

"What? I'm not like Mad-Eye!" Tonks shouted and smiled at the same time.

"Yes you are! I should record you when you talk to Dany!"

"But that guy's a git. He's way too over himself."

"Mad-Eye-ish." Harry said.

"I knew it." Remus said smiling amused at the situation.

"But you know, Remus, women tend to be very authoritative I think."

"What are you saying here, Harry Potter?" Ginny said surprised by his remark.

"Just saying, that's it."

"Be careful with what you say." Ginny said raising an eyebrow at him. "Or we'll finish this on a Quidditch pitch!"

"Don't. We both know you'd lose." Harry said getting a step away bracing himself for a slap on the arm.

"Go for the Holyhead Harpies!" Tonks shouted happily.

"So what is it? Women revolution now?" Remus asked teasing Tonks; her eyebrow rose.

"Maybe, since you actually think I'm authoritative." Tonks said.

"Well, Dora, you tend to be a little authoritative sometimes." Remus said and he placed both his hands on the back of her neck. They were a bit aside of the group now; Ginny racing behind Harry now and Sirius holding his daughter in his arms while Mary was talking to her.

"Really?" Tonks asked as if she dared him to answer.

"Yes, but I don't mind." Remus said in her ear.

"I hope so, you married me!" She said laughing.

"Kiss me." Remus mouthed. That was their thing, when they had a little 'fight' that usually wasn't even one. Tonks tiptoed and kissed him tenderly and quickly.

"You're just as authoritative as I am, Rem!" Tonks said.

Teddy came around with Bill's jacket on him – which looked like an oversized cloak on him – they all laughed as they saw Bill walking to him.

"Teddy!" Bill shouted! He tried to sound like a 'serious adult' but the grin on his face could be heard in his voice.

"I wonder if he'll mischief as much as his father at school." Sirius said amusedly; sliding his arm on her back.

"I'm more afraid that he'll mischief as much as his mother, actually." Remus said.

"Hey!" Tonks said slapping him on the chest playfully.

They kept talking lightly; Ginny told them amazing stories about the Holyhead Harpies and Tonks had never been listening to someone so carefully.

Later in the afternoon, Remus and Tonks were only together and when there was music, Remus never lost a chance to dance with the woman he loved.

Remus made Tonks twirl, and rock and he pulled her closer to him. They'd laugh and smile at each other, waiting for the other to kiss. Ginny asked Harry to dance too and Sirius took his wife's hand and pulled her into a dance. Teddy took Liliemeda's hands but she was too young and got distracted by a butterfly but he seemed even happier when Victoire ran to him. The kids danced and Fleur and Bill danced too. But Remus and Tonks were in their own little world, their bubble that no one could enter. Tonks tiptoed and kissed Remus – it must have started like one quick tender kiss but Remus didn't seem to want to let go of her and he placed his hand in her hair and kissed her more lingeringly.

"Ugh Daddy! why are you kissing Mummy?" Teddy – now green haired – asked with a disgusted look on his face.

"Because I am very in love with your Mummy." Remus answered on his professorish tone. Tonks gave him a kiss on the cheek, not removing her arms from around his neck.

"And are you in love with him, Mummy?" The little boy asked.

"Very much, yes!" Tonks asked.

"Does it mean that if Victoire and I get married one day, we will have to kiss?" Teddy asked. Tonks burst out laughing and Remus tried not to.

"Well, if you love each other, yes I believe you will. But you're a bit young now, Teddy." Teddy and Victoire ran away and played with their little brooms and Remus held Tonks even tighter.

"I think you met your daughter-in-law, my love." Remus said in her ear.

"Well, soon they'll be in the "boys/girls are useless" phase, so I think we have some time ahead of us."

"You're right." Remus said smiling peacefully.

* * *

_We were the Kings and the Queens And the y read off our names the night you danc e d like you knew our lives would never be the same. You held your head like a h er o on a history book page. It was th e end of a decade but the start of an a g e. _

* * *

Later when they were all sitting at the table in the backyard, eating the food Molly and Mary had prepared – Molly couldn't help it, every time there was a dinner being prepared she had to come and help and actually, no one ever really complained.

"Today, at work, I caught myself saying… the words." Tonks said. Remus was already laughing since she had told him the story earlier. "We're having the new trainees and there's this kid Jimmy, he's a good one but a bit clumsy." Sirius burst out laughing.

"A bit like you." Harry said amused.

"Well, _anyway_, we were on a mission and I saw him trip and fall on a bench of cauldrons abandoned in the corner of a street and I said 'CONSTANT VIGILEANCE!'" She said imitating Mad-Eye's sharp tone. "I swear I surprised myself."

Remus thought Sirius would fall from his chair, or he would maybe not have enough air to breathe. Everyone who had known Mad-Eye was actually laughing and when they caught her breath Sirius said:

"You know, I think he'd be proud of you." Bill said.

"I think he already was when you manage to get Mundungus to have community work for prisoners FOR LIFE."

"If I could I'd have send him to Azkaban." Tonks said sharply. It was Mundungus's fault if Mad-Eye got killed when they got Harry from the Dursley'. He had disapparated and left Mad-eye on his own at the worst moment. Tonks had always been mad at him since that day and almost attacked him in the middle of the street.

"I know, but at least you have to pleasure to see him cleaning the streets the muggle way."

"Indeed." Tonks said with a sad smile. Remus gave her a kiss on the cheek, hoping to make her feel better and she rested her head on his shoulder, silently asking for comfort so he placed his arm around her and stroked her back.

* * *

_Will you take a moment, promise me this: That you'll stand by me forever but if God forbid fate should step in and force s us into a goodbye. If you have childr e n someday when they point to the pict u re s please tell them my name._

* * *

When it started to get cold they all walked back into the house. Sirius and Adeline had moved the furniture so there was room for everyone. There were sofas and couches for everyone. Teddy and Victoire had taken pictures that were on the furniture now in the corridor and came back with them.

"Is that you Sirius?"

"Oh yes it is. I was young, and handsome. What am I saying? I'm still young and handsome!" He said on his so-Sirius tone.

"Usually, you say the first part and wait for someone to say 'But you're still young and handsome!'" Adeline said looking tenderly at her husband.

"You would have said it?"

"Of course." She said and she gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"But you see this picture, Teddy. It's me with my godson, who's your godfather: Harry. It was during the first Christmas we spent together." Sirius said quite emotional.

"Harry was so small."

"We'll see when you grow up, if you want Teddy!" Harry said cheekily. Ginny was laughing at his side.

"You were what… 15 or something?"

"Yes, I think so." Harry said. "Let me see the picture?" Sirius handed it to him.

"We're lucky to be there." Sirius said taking Adeline's hand.

"Yes, we are." Remus said. He looked at Tonks who was looking lovingly at Teddy. He kissed her temple and she turned to look at him.

"I love you." She mouthed.

"Love you too." He mouthed too before he kissed her forehead.

Everyone was lost in their thoughts, the kids didn't seem to understand and Liliemeda was playing with little broom in her Holyhead harpies' suit that Ginny had brought for her. Hermione broke the silence.

"We should give a toast to all the people who were not as lucky as we were." Everyone took their glasses and lifted them.

"We'll never forget them." Harry said.

Remus noticed that Tonks was silently crying so he held her tighter. They all drank and Remus allowed himself to take Tonks in his arm and whisper in her ear that he loved her, that the war was over now and they didn't risk anything anymore. And that all the people she had lost were up there, looking over her and they were all proud of her. That Mad-Eye would prefer her to empty her firewhiskey glass and tell a good story about him than to cry for him.

There rest of the guests were used to see Remus hugging Tonks and whisper words in her ear that no one understood. Tonks had coped with difficulty after the war; she had lost her father, Mad-Eye who was basically another father, and a lot of colleagues. She had told him that every day she had been scared that someone would take Remus away because of the werewolves' legislations. Everyone had lost someone, of course but Tonks couldn't deal with it the same way everyone did. She still had nightmares 10 years later, and Remus knew that in 10 years she'd still have nightmares and just as he did each night it happened, he would still hold her tight and tell her it's over and they're together at home, and Teddy's fine.

Tonks looked up at Remus and he wiped the tears away from her cheeks. Remus kissed her forehead and she rested her head on his shoulder. Ginny smiled at her; they had grown even closer after the Second War and they were like sisters.

...

* * *

And maybe, in another time, in another world it could have happened, but Sirius was fighting on his Godson's side. He was in the department of mysteries. With the Order he had ran to the Ministry to find Harry and the other kids who had come with him. Harry reminded him so much or James and Sirus when they were young. They'd run to the fight, without thinking just because they thought that was the good thing to do. Remus may try to think first, but if it was for someone he really cared he'd run head first, without thinking too. This time, Remus hadn't try very hard to convince Sirius to stay in Grimmauld Place waiting for them to fight he had only asked "Are you sure?" and Sirius had nodded. He wouldn't yell at Remus because they knew each other for too long and he knew that if he answered 'Yes' his friend wouldn't push him.

Well, Sirius did yell at Remus when he saw him kiss Tonks before they left. They had to save his godson they could kiss later – though, interiorly, Sirius understood why they kissed: because you never know.

And they apparated at the Ministries with Kingsley, Mad-Eye and Tonks and they ran to the department of Ministries knowing very well that they just wanted to find the Prophecy. For once he felt useful, but somehow he wished he didn't right now. He wished he didn't have to save his godson. He wished Harry wasn't in danger.

Sirius felt a rush of fear coming through him. What if he was already too late? What if he couldn't save his best friends' son? He had to. He simply had to. He'd run as fast as he could to save him, and the other kids.

And now he was fighting, after all these years, it was like his last fight was just yesterday. It felt as if James and Remus were on his sides.

* * *

_Tell them how the crowds went wild. Tell them how I hope they shine._

* * *

Harry sent a _Petrificus Totalus _spell right on Dolohov. He fought as wel l as his father – or his godfather.

"Nice one!" Sirius said to Harry. He kep t sending spell after spell trying t th e Death Eaters down.

He had to get her down. He had just seen Tonks falling down the stairs and he ha d to fight for her and for his godson and all the people in there. So he fought with the best he had deep inside. He was fighting is very own cousin now, Bellatrix Lestrange. The craziest of the craziest Black. Harry was just next to hi m an d he knew he had to protect him because she was mad enough to try something against him.

Bellatrix tried and sent him a red jet o f light and Sirius laughed. He'd laugh t o make her mad so she'd make a mistake a nd he'd finish her. He remembered wha t s he had done to the Longbottoms and w hat she had tried to do to their son. So he had to fight. It was revenge. It w as something between the two Black.

"Come on, you can do better than that!" Sirius shouted.

But Bellatrix didn't make any mistake. T his time the green jet of light got him right through the chest and it was blank . He still had that mark of the laugh on his face and he was gone.

* * *

_Long live the walls we crashed through __**I had the time of my life, with you.**_

* * *

Blank.

Nothing.

"Sirius." He heard. There wasn't in the department of mysteries anymore. There w as green around them, just green, grass and trees. Sirius wondered where he was and he heard it again.

"Sirius." He recognized the voice. It was a voice he'd never forget, the voice o f his best friend, the one who had bee n like a brother his whole life: It was James's voice.

"Thank you." It was Lily's voice. "Thank you for protecting Harry."

"Where am I?"

"Were you wanted to be." James answered with a sad smile.

"Which is?" Sirius asked confused.

"Seems like Hogwarts to me. I ended up t here too." His friend answered.

* * *

**_One day, we will be remembered._**

* * *

_Hey everyone! I'm really sorry I had to write this. I was really sad when I wrote it. I hope you liked the first part._

_I didn't do much of the fight - because I'm not really good at writing action moments but I tried a bit. I wanted to do more about the feelings._

_I kind of mixed Remus and Sirius's point of view in the first part: I know. I couldn't do just one. I tried to make it a s fluent as possible._

_I put Taylor Swift's song because I really think - as some people do to - that i t can relate to Harry Potter! I think I know which one I'll take for Tonks and R emus, but it's very far away. You can imagine I'm not eager to write this chapter. _

_So please, pretty pretty pretty please, tell me what you thought of it because I 'm really not sure about it and I' afraid you're all gonna think it sucks . _

_And hope you ate lot of chocolate - I di d. Remus said we could anyway._

_Have a good day! __xx_

_PS: I'm writing another short Remus/Tonk s fanfic :_** You and I were meant to be.**


	47. Back to real life

_"Right from the start you were a thief: you stole my heart. And I, your willing victim, I let you see the parts of me that weren't all that pretty and with every touch you fixed them."_

_Pink ft Nate Ruess - Just give me a reason_

* * *

Remus was in St Mungo, sitting next to Tonks's bed in a chair he hadn't left for hours now. It had been the second day she was still asleep in that bed. She had fallen from the stairs and no doubt had been cursed by Bellatrix. Molly had come check on her the day before and she told Remus that he could go home since she wouldn't wake up that day anyway, but he couldn't. Then, she ordered him to go home and at least get some rest so he quickly went home, took a shower and changed.

Molly frowned when she saw him be back so quickly but she seemed to understand when she saw him take Tonks's hand. She gave him a tap on the shoulder and said "She'll be ok."

She had been asleep all this time, Mad-Eye had manage to _renervate_ her but when they got her to St Mungo they had to give her a potion to make her sleep because she was hurting too much. Just the thought made Remus nauseous.

Her eyes closed, she seemed to be peacefully asleep, like she hadn't been in a terrible fight.

He remembered the last words he'd said to her, and he didn't regret them. He only wished he would say them many times again.

_Tonks turned to look at him and said: _

_"Remus."_

_"I know." Remus said looking at her with a sad smile on his face._

_"But I need to say it anyway, I love you Remus." She said before she tiptoed to give him a quick tender kiss but suddenly Remus couldn't let her go and he place his hand on her back pulling her in another stronger kiss._

_"I love you too, Dora." He said a bit confused against her lips. "So much." He added and Mad-Eye cleared his throat._

_"Couldn't you do that later?" Sirius shouted. But Remus thought that maybe there wouldn't be a later for him, he had seen so many people leave for a mission and never come back. _But at the time he thought that if anything happened, it would be to him, not her.

He was glad to be alone in the room now, her parents had left and said they'd come back in the late afternoon. Remus never left her side, or very rarely, only to go back home and change. He couldn't leave her side; he didn't want her to wake up alone, because _he_ was alone now. Sirius was gone and Remus was left alone. So he needed her, more than ever, he wanted her to open her eyes and say something because he needed to hear her voice, and her laugh. He couldn't leave, because he simply had nowhere else to go, his place was with her, at her side. Sometimes he even needed to talk to her: some healers said he couldn't do her any wrong so when he was sure to be alone he did.

"You look like you're peacefully sleeping." He said. "You're beautiful when you sleep." He told her, moving a strand of hair away from her forehead. "I remember when you told me you didn't like your natural colour, but I assure you, you look lovely this way." He took her hand in his and kept stroking her soft skin. He didn't like looking at her bandages, because he knew she must be aching even though she was sleeping and it killed him. He'd exchange place with her if he could, he would do it without any hesitation. He just wanted to go back a few months back in time, when things were simpler.

"Hey do you remember the time we had a fight in the snow." Remus said with a sad smile on his face just at the thought. "You made me fall in the snow, it was so cold and I swear I've never felt so cold and wet at the same time in my life… but you kept laughing; you were laughing, and Merlin knows I love your laugh, Dora. I could only see your pink hair, and your shiny brown eyes. They're the only things I ever want to see Tonks, if I had to choose that'd be that. Just you. I remember when we talked about the future and… and a life together. I'm sorry Nymphadora, I'm sorry I hesitated before answering because in truth, it's been months I know I don't want to be away from you a single day in my life. I'm sorry if I made you think I didn't want it because I want to spend the rest of my life with you. And I'm sorry I didn't say it clearly because I do. But I thought I shouldn't say it because you know what I am and how my life is but in my heart, I want to spend every single day of the rest of my life with you. So please," Remus said resting his forehead on her hand he was holding firmly between his. "Please, tell me she didn't mess up with you brain, with your lovely mind. Because I need you and I know what she's capable of. And I love your mind," He looked back at her, she was still peacefully sleeping and he wondered if she could even hear him at all but it didn't even matter now. "it's a bit messy, and colourful you know." He said with a sad smile. "But I love your mind, I love your brain and I want to hear your laugh again, your stories, your hypothesis on everything's around us and especially the muggle world. Dora, I need you."

Remus realized after losing his last best friend, he needed her even more. And he couldn't get the idea that he would never see Sirius again. His barking laugh, his jokes, his angry shout, his rambling, his laziness in the kitchen. When Remus thought about the marauders in Hogwarts, he felt sad for them back in time. The four boys never thought that they'd end up this way. James always talked about how he and Lily would have children and grow old together and they joked about the three marauders being in their turn godfathers of the kids. Sirius had been godfather at least, and when Remus thought about it, he doubted he would have loved dying in a better way. He died protecting his godson and Remus was sure that it must have been an honour to die this way. Sirius had always said that he'd rather die in the battle rather than stuck in his house. And now his friend had left him alone. James and Lily were gone. Sirius was gone. Peter was a traitor – and alive for Merlin's sake. The only person he had in his life was Nymphadora Tonks, the wonderful Nymphadora Tonks and she still unconscious after her fight.

The crazy Nymphadora Tonks, because she was crazy sometimes. She was crazy for loving him, first of all. She kept surprising him, days after days for accepting everything. For staying with him even when he was all grumpy and hard to live because of the full moon. He was so grateful to have her in his life and he didn't want her to leave him. She didn't have the right to leave him, not after everyone had already left.

Remus felt guilty and selfish for thinking this way, he remembered the first weeks of their relationship, or even before, when he had told her it wasn't possible for them to be together and now he realized that without her, he was completely lost.

"You and I are so different." Remus said and he placed the cover back on her as it had moved away a bit "We're so different and so alike at the same time… I wonder if you can hear me, there's a part of me who hopes you don't because I'm being all sentimental again and you would make fun of me again. I'm going to regret what I'm about to say but I wish you were making fun of me right now, I miss you. I need you. I'm all alone…" Remus's voice broke on the last word and after taking a long breath he said "I need you." Remus said but then he couldn't say another word. He felt his throat tighten and he concentrated hard to hold back the tears.

The hours passed and Tonks hadn't wake up yet, the Healers had said that she should be waking up by now. Her parents had come back, they had been polite toward Remus the last two days but they never spoke much. Remus didn't mind, actually.

Remus couldn't wait anymore he felt the tension in every inch of his body. Each time he heard only a little noise he hoped she was waking up and he was starting to lose hope maybe she'd wake up tomorrow. He got up and walked to the window and looked outside. There was a family, two parents and their son. The boy must have been around six, and she had apparently had a spell backfire on her. It was really common that kids conjured spells and charms unintentionally and sometimes it could just backfire on them. The little boy had bunny ears but he didn't seem to mind, his parents on the other hand seemed a bit worried – no, the mother seemed worried, but the father seemed amused. Remus picture himself and Tonks walking in St Mungo with a little boy, because he had done the same. He could picture Tonks being amused and him, being the reasonable one. But Remus couldn't have children. Werewolves didn't reproduce. In packs, he'd never seen werewolves having children. And what if he had to go to St Mungo because his son was a werewolf too, what a life he would have given to a poor kid.

Remus heard a noise. Not a noise. A moaning. Tonks had just woken up, or was waking up, or talking in her sleep. But she was doing something. Remus turned to look at her and he saw her eyelids moving.

"Rem… Remus.." She whispered. It was barely audible but Remus knew what he had just heard, it was his name. He walked quickly toward the bed and took her hand in his. She opened her eyes slowly after several attempt.

"Dora.." Remus said quietly.

"Remus." Tonks said more firmly and looking at him relieved and lovingly.

"Yes. I'm here." Remus said with a tentative smile.

"Your parents are here too." Andromeda Tonks said. Remus had completely forgotten they were in the room; and he clearly heard the annoyance in her voice. She took her daughter's hand.

"You needn't come. I've been worse." Tonks said trying to smile.

"Alastor Moody came to us." Ted Tonks said.

"How are you feeling?" Remus asked. He couldn't keep his eyes away from her, he had missed her, he had missed just seeing her eyes looking at him, her lips moving as she talked, and her long eyelashes. He brushed away a strand of hair that had fallen on her eyes.

"Not too bad."

"We should ask a Healer to come." Andromeda said. Remus could feel her looking at him. He was a very polite man, but not this time. He wouldn't leave the room, not when Tonks was looking at him this way, he didn't know exactly why but she was looking at him amazingly lovingly.

"There's no need to, I'm fine." Tonks said a bit stubbornly, as usual.

"I'll go." Ted Tonks said and he walked out of the room.

"How are you?" Tonks asked as she reached for his cheek and stroked his two days' beard. She smiled as it scratched a bit her soft fingers. She tried to sit by herself but Remus helped and nuzzled his nose in her hair as he answered.

"I'm fine." Remus half-lied. He was physically fine. And he was fine because there she was, talking to him but he felt broken, like someone had taken away something inside him. So he wasn't eager to tell her that Sirius was dead because he knew she'd feel the same, and the last thing he wished was for her to feel like him right now.

"Miss Tonks, finally awake. How do you feel?" The healer said as she came inside to the room. She was a mid-aged woman, with greying hair and glasses. She was small and had the reassuring look of a mother but something made Remus think of a teacher too.

"Alive." Tonks answered.

"Well, that's a good start." She checked her bandages and put a potion on her bruises but Remus wasn't looking. He was too busy looking into Tonks's eyes, who didn't leave his eyes away from him – which annoyed her mother who kept clearing her throat.

"I'll come back in an hour to give you a potion to sleep, alright?"

"I'll go get you some water and see if they can bring you food." Andromeda said.

"Alright, mom." Tonks said and she gave her little smile. Ted walked with his wife out of the room and Tonks asked what must have been in her mind since she had wakened up.

"What happened after I fell?" Tonks asked, he could see the worrying glint in her eyes.

"Well, Dumbledore came and so did V – … You –know-Who. Though I haven't seen him." Remus said.

"Harry's safe?"

"Yes, he is."

"And the other kids?"

"Yes, they all are."

"You're telling me that not everyone's safe, right?" She asked biting her lips after she asked. She knew him well.

"I wish I could tell you this, Dora. I really wish I could. But… It's Si – Padfoot." Remus corrected himself, thinking that there weren't in a safe place.

"They didn't get him back to Azkaban? Tell me they didn't catch him!" Tonks said, gripping the front of his jumper. She would have shouted if they had been in a safe place.

"No, Sirius was fighting Bellatrix and… He fell through the veil… He's… he's…" Remus couldn't say the word. He just couldn't, it was too hard to pronounce that one word because if he said it out loud it would be real. He didn't want it to be real. He didn't want his last best friend to be dead.

"No." Tonks said, tears slowly rolling down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry, Dora." Remus wrapped his arms around her and held her tight against his chest, hoping she wouldn't have to live what he had already lived years ago. He just wished he could protect her from the rest of the world.

Remus sat on the edge of the bed to hug her even more tightly. She wrapped her arms around his waist and sobbed.

"It's my fault. It's my entire fault." She said as she cried.

"No, Dora, look at me." He said, cupping her face in his hands.

"It's my fault. I'm a bloody Auror and I wasn't even able to stop her. If I had finished her I –" she said angry at herself.

"This is not your fault!" Remus said strongly and firmly.

"I'm so sorry." Tonks said looking at him as if he was about to reject her.

"This is not your fault." He said before he pulled her into a tight hug again. He kept stroking her hair and her back, trying to calm her down a bit. It couldn't be right for her to be in such a state now, but at the same time he couldn't have waited to tell her, she deserved to know.

"You should hate me Remus." She mumbled against his chest.

"But I love you Dora. I'd never hate you; this is not your fault." He kept saying.

"You shouldn't be with me; It's my fault; It's all my fault. You should hate me!" She said backing away. Remus cupped her face in his hands, wanting to make her understand it wasn't her fault.

"I DO NOT –" the door opened "HATE YOU!" Remus said loudly looking at her in the eyes. She softened a bit and she gripped his jumper again.

"I'm sorry." She whispered.

"What did you just say to my daughter?" Andromeda asked, calmly and Remus would have preferred her to shout.

"This isn't what you think it is."

"Nymphadora is in a fragile state and you yell at her? Is it why you stayed there? Because you wanted to traumatize her just as she woke up?"

"No, no I'm sorry. I said I_ didn't_ hate her. I never said I hated her. I shouldn't have shouted." Remus said pacing a hand through his hair nervously. Ted Tonks was eyeing him suspiciously but then looked at Tonks expectantly.

"You should leave, Mr Lupin. The only visitors allowed in this room should be the family only from now." Her mother said coldly.

"Come on, Dromeda." Ted Tonks said trying to lighten a bit the atmosphere.

"No, mum." Tonks said. Remus wondered why she hadn't said anything yet but he realized she was just trying to compose herself before speaking. "Don't leave, Remus." She said holding his hand now.

"You're tired, Nymphadora. You don't know what you're saying." Her mother insisted.

"I need him, mum!"

"You're tired." Her mother repeated.

"I'm not bloody tired! He can't leave. Don't make him leave, mum! I need him." Tonks almost cried, holding his hand tightly – almost crushing his hand actually.

"Maybe I should go." Remus said unwillingly.

"You speak sense, Mr Lupin."

"No, don't leave me, Remus. I need you." Tonks said holding his hand with both hers. "Don't leave me." She repeated almost desperately. She turned to her mother, looking determined. "And mum, stop it. I'm not a little girl anymore."

"Then, I'll go." She answered. "I'll come back tomorrow and I hope you'll get some rest and be in a better mood." She said still calmly.

"Dromeda..." Ted Tonks said trying to calm his wife.

"We'll come back tomorrow." She repeated. She walked toward her daughter and gave her a light kiss on the forehead. Then Ted Tonks walked toward the bed and waited for his wife to be out of the room to speak.

"You know your mother. She'll come around. Have some rest, alright?" Tonks nodded. "I love you, my little girl even if I'm afraid you're not a little girl anymore."

"I love you, dad." Tonks answered. Her father gave her a kiss on the forehead and before he left he said "Take care of her."

"I will." Remus said with a polite smile. He left and Tonks avoided his eyes. He sat back on the edge of the bed.

"I'm sorry you had to see that." She said.

"It's normal She saw me shouting at you and she knows what I am."

"Who; not what." Tonks corrected him. If Remus hadn't be so sad he would have smiled but he couldn't manage one.

"She knows _who_ I am. And she saw me shouting at you."

"But you were reassuring me." Tonks said with a sad smile.

"I shouldn't have shouted at you. I feel horrible for having done so."

"I didn't lie, Remus. I need you." She said and she moved closer to hold him tightly. "Please, don't leave me Remus, I need you so much."

"I love you, Dora. I won't." He said and he stroked her back just wanting to make her feel better. After a lingering hug, she moved a bit away

"You know, while I was unconscious…" She said and Remus took her hand reassuringly. "I heard your voice. I couldn't get all the words, but I recognized your voice. I don't really remember everything but I remember you were there." She said and she stroked his cheek again. Remus couldn't help but close his eyes and let his face lean in her palm.

"So, Miss Tonks. I have the dreamless potion for you, tonight." The Healer said as she walked in the room.

"Do I have to take it?"

"It's recommended, yes." The Healer said. Tonks cleared her throat before speaking hesitantly.

"Can… Can he stay with me, tonight?"

The healer looked at him, as if checking if he wasn't a psychopath.

"Yes, I guess he may stay. But she needs rest."

"Of course." Remus said politely.

"I know I'll sleep better if he's with me." Tonks said with a sheepish smile and was blushing – no doubt as much as Remus was.

"Remind me when I was in love." The healer said a bit resigned.

Tonks squeezed Remus's hand and rested her head on his shoulder, still looking at the Healer who placed the potion on the bed stand.

"So, I'll leave it there but I trust you to take it within the hour." The healer said and she definitely reminded Remus of Minerva McGonagall.

"I will." Tonks said politely.

"Alright, how do you feel? your wounds? Your broken ribs?"

"It's fine. It hurts a bit, but it normally hurts."

"Not the first time you're here, I guess." He healer said with raising an eyebrow.

"Well, I'm an Auror. And a clumsy one." She said with a tentative smile.

"Well, I'll check everything tomorrow morning, alright?"

"Yes." Tonks answered. Remus had something in his mind that he had to ask. He cleared his throat and said:

"About… the spells… do you know if they can have an impact… other than a physical impact?" Remus asked hesitantly. Tonks backed away to look at him.

"What do you mean?" Tonks asked.

"You know, sometimes it can have… psychological consequences." Remus said feeling ashamed of asking.

"You think I'm mad?" Tonks asked raising her eyebrows, and Remus saw in his eyes that he had hurt her.

"No, I know you're not but we never know."

"I don't think there was any in Miss Tonks's case." The healer said. "I'll leave you two, for tonight. If you have any other question, feel free to ask." She said before she left.

"You think I've gone mental?" Nymphadora asked.

"I know Bellatrix tortured the Longbottoms into madness. I was scared that she could have been hard on you, too." Remus said holding her hands.

"But I'm fine now. I remembered where I was, who I am and everything."

"I know, Dora. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I needed to ask. I've been worried about this." Remus apologized.

"I'm sorry, love." Tonks said and she pulled Remus into a hug. "Would you lie with me?" She whispered in his ear.

"Are you sure we're allowed?" He asked slightly frowning.

"She did say you could stay tonight. Don't tell me she thought you'd sleep in that awful chair." Tonks said with a half-hearted chuckle.

"Alright." Remus agreed and she made room for him in the bed. He put off his shoes and slid in the sheets. At first, he was hesitant to hold her because she had bruises almost everywhere; he was scared to hurt her if he touched her.

"Hold me tight... please" Tonks whispered. Remus willingly obliged and wrapped his arms around her, their legs entwined.

Tears started to roll down her cheeks again and when Remus delicately wiped them with the back of his fingers.

"I'm sorry." She whispered as he did.

"There's no need to apologize."

Remus kissed her forehead and held her even tighter in his arms. For the first time, he let the tears roll down his cheeks too. He had wondered why he hadn't cry yet, but now that he was with her, he couldn't hold them back. He didn't know if it was right to cry in front of her but at the same time he didn't really mind.

And he wasn't the one reassuring her now; they were both reassuring each other. She backed away to wipe his tears away in her turn, and he rested his head in the crook of her neck.

"He's gone." He said as he cried. She didn't say anything, what could she say anyway? But she kept stroking his hair with one hand and the other was on his back, rubbing in circles.

He was sobbing now, he couldn't stop crying. He kept crying until he had the impression he had more tears inside of him, and she never stopped holding him, or never stopped rubbing his back comfortingly.

He didn't move his head from her neck. Instead he breathed her scent, and left a kiss on her soft skin.

"I'm sorry I… I broke down in front of you." Remus said tentatively, and he kissed her cheek.

"You don't have to apologize, Remus." She said and she gave him on tender quick kiss. He put his head back in the crook of her neck, closing his eyes.

"But this is so… so hard." Remus whispered holding her hips tighter between his fingers.

"I know, right now, you feel broken." She whispered in his ear. "But I'm here, Remus. I'll help you take the pieces back together, I don't know how long it will take and honestly I don't care. But you're not alone. I know you feel like there's a missing piece inside of you, because I feel the same so I can't even imagine how you're feeling. But I'll help you, we'll go through this together, alright? We'll take our time, but we'll manage." Tonks spoke reassuringly in his ear.

Remus took a look at her, she was looking at him with a sad, trying to be reassuring, smile and he felt grateful to have her in his life because he didn't how he would do without her.

So he kissed her, lingeringly, tasting her salty lips who have felt so many tears on them. She responded eagerly and he pulled her closer to him. When they eventually broke apart he left kisses on her cheeks, her lovely nose, her temples, her eyelids, her eyebrows and her forehead.

"I don't know what I'd do without you." Remus whispered against her skin.

"I could say the same thing." She answered in a whisper.

"You need to take your potion now, love." Remus said stroking his nose against her temple.

"Do you want some?"

"No, drink it whole, it could not be very efficient if you don't take all of it." Remus said and he took the potion from the bed stand. He helped her sit on the bed and she drank it.

"Goodnight, Remus." She whispered and gave him one last kiss as he laid her back on the bed, holding her in his arms.

"Goodnight, Dora."

"I love you."

"I love you too, Nymphadora Tonks." He said and he gave her one last kiss and she was asleep.

He held her in his arms as he slept. Though, he didn't sleep very much. Whenever he closed his eyes, he could picture Sirius and he felt the tears coming again. At some point, in the night, he managed several hours of sleep. But at least, she was there, in his arms.

* * *

_Hey everyone! _

_I hope you liked how I dealt with this scene. I was very sad when I wrote it and it only reminded me of personal events I wish never happened._

_I know they didn't talk very much of everything that's happened because I imagined that she'd just woken up and must have felt tired. I think there will be more information in the next chapter._

_Please, don't hesitate to review to tell me what you like or dislike! _

_By the way, Alexander, I hesitated before doing 'what could have been' moments but I think I'll definitely do some others in the future since you seemed to have liked it and I didn't have any complaints so yeah. :)_

_Have a good day everyone! xx_


	48. White walls

Remus woke up in the morning wondering where he was. He couldn't recognize the scent of the room, the light, the cold atmosphere. The only thing he was sure of was that Nymphadora Tonks was in his arms, she was asleep and it gave him a warm feeling. Then, it struck him. Sirius was dead. Nymphadora was alive. She was alive. She was alive.

He nuzzled her hair and felt the need to hold her tightly against him. She was the only one he had left and he couldn't let go her. The sun had just set so it could only mean that it was still early in the morning. After clinging to the woman in his arms as if she was everything he had in the world - actually, she was everything he had left – he unwillingly let go of her and got up. Remus stretched his legs and walked out of the room just before he glanced at her one last time. Her light brown hair falling on her closed eyes, she looked peaceful and he could have looked at her sleeping all day long.

He walked out and smile politely at the healers who were sitting in their restroom and he poured two mugs of coffee. The Healer who's been taking care of Tonks since the day she had been brought in walked toward him. He realized he had never took notice of her name so when she greeted him, he glanced at her name tag: Healer Noble.

"Is Miss Tonks already awake?" She looked at the two mugs in his hands before looking back in his eyes.

"Oh, no. She's sleeping. I'm just taking one for when she'll wake up."

"Alright. Come and tell me when she is; I'll check her bandages."

"Of course." Remus answered politely.

"You've barely left her side." The Healer said. Remus didn't know what to say .

"I couldn't leave her alone." Remus managed to say. The truth was that she wouldn't have been alone actually. But he had nowhere else to go. His place was at her side, he couldn't imagine another place to go. He had asked the Order if there was anything he could do but they all sent him home. He couldn't go home, not when she was in St Mungo. He was the one who was alone. "If you'll excuse me, I'm going back to her." She waved at him toward the corridor with a knowing smile.

When he walked back to the room, she was still asleep and he knew that the potion would make her sleep quite a long time again. He drank his coffee looking by the window. There was no one; it was still too early in the morning. Then he sat by her side and waited, struggling not to make his thoughts drift to Sirius.

Sirius.

He'd never see him again. They had just found each other again and he was already gone. But that how war is. That's the deal they all signed for, they knew the risks. Even if in some way he had prepared for this to happen, now that it had actually happened it felt way too real and too painful. What was left of the Marauders now? A traitor and a werewolf. The dog and the stag were gone, gone for love. Fighting. It was all too much suddenly for Remus and he decided to busy himself. So he took his time and looked at Nymphadora. He looked at every little details he loved about Nymphadora: her steady breath when she was asleep, the way her chest rose and fell, her long eyelashes, the shape of her lips and their pinkish colour illustrating just fine their taste, the crackled pink nail polish, her pink fringe falling on her forehead and slightly on her eyes. She was wearing one of the pyjamas he had brought: one of his grey t-shirt she loved wearing and polka doted bottoms. He knew she liked wearing shorts or even just knickers but he thought that it was more appropriate here. She hadn't mind waking up in those clothes last night; the Healers had spells to put clothes on unconscious people. Brilliant spells actually, that Remus wished he knew because they would be quite useful after the full moons.

Tonks started moving her feet and her fingers slowly clutched the sheets.

"Remus?" She asked, her eyes only slowly opening. "Remus?" She asked taping her hand on the bed searching for him.

"I'm here. I'm right here." He said as he took her hand.

"Oh." She said looking at him relieved. "Sorry, I was a bit overreacting." She said avoiding his gaze. "I'm just still a bit confused."

"No." He just said, and gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. "I've brought coffee."

"How long have you been awake?"

"I don't know, it's not important. The healer said to ask for her when you woke up." He said starting to get up.

"Please, wait a little bit." Nymphadora almost pleaded. "Wanna sit here?" She asked tentatively. He did as she said and put an arm around her shoulder.

"How did you sleep?" He asked stroking her hair.

"Fine. The potion was helpful I think." She had barely uttered the last word when Remus asked.

"How are you feeling?"

"Fine." She said sounding a bit annoyed. "But how are _you_?" She asked as she turned to look at him, her eyes full of concern.

"I'm… alright." He answered and she wrapped her arms around his waist.

"You would have just needed the potion, too."

"I'll be fine." She stroked his back in circles.

"I'll go ask a healer." He said after some relaxing moment when he could just let go and only have her comforting him. Other people had tried to comfort him, saying reassuring words but it was like he couldn't hear them. And there she was, just holding him and it was worth all the words in the world.

Later, the healer checked her bandages and asked some questions about how she was feeling. She told her that breakfast would be served soon – Tonks smiled when she saw how full the plate was and she told Remus that they had put more food for him. They ate, talking at first of the serious matters of the Order that she had missed while she had been unconscious and then only talked about the food and avoided any serious subject that would drift them back to Sirius.

He helped her get dressed, which took quite a long time since she couldn't lift her arms too much and she had some serious wounds that prevented her from moving. And on top of that, everytime he was close to her she pulled him into a tight hug which made him chuckled since she had done it quite a few times.

"I'm tired of lying down. I want to look outside." She said looking over sadly at the window. She moved her legs out of the bed and he helped her walking to the window. She opened it and he slid his arms around her waist at first and rested his chin on the top of her head.

"Everyone's living their lives on." She said.

"They don't know."

"And no one will ever know. Stupid Ministry."

"I know." Remus said sadly. He knew she needed to speak and to tell how she was feeling but he wasn't the talkative kind of person especially when the subject was his feelings.

"The sun's shining, laughing at our faces. The sky has him now. I mean, after we die… we go somewhere? It means he's somewhere, happy again… free."

"I think so, yes." After she had said these words, Remus didn't see the clouds the same way. He imagined Sirius and James laughing together, sitting on a cloud just as they used to sit on Hogwarts benches.

They stayed at the window a moment, Remus had even summoned the chair for her to sit and she seemed to relax. He opened the window and she closed her eyes when the cool breeze messed up her hair and Remus found it relaxing to look at her.

For Lunch, Nymphadora sat back on the bed and tentatively asked the Healer when she could leave but Healer Noble had told him that she had to stay until the following afternoon and Remus noticed the mortified face she had made as she got the answer.

When they were just the two of them, Remus sat on the chair and rested his head on her lap. She kept stroking his hair and it seemed to relax them both.

"I think I'll leave you alone with your parents when they'll come." Remus said looking at her through his fringe.

"You don't have to. My mum was overreacting, you know."

"I think you all need some time together." Remus said. "I'll go see Molly, and give her some news and ask if there's anything I can do."

"Are you sure, Rem?" She said frowning.

"I am." He said with a kind smile.

"But you'll come back?"

"Of course. Always."

"Thank you, by the way."

"And what for?" He asked raising his eyebrows in surprised.

"Staying here, with me. I know you hate this place."

"And that's mainly why I'm here."

"What do you mean?"

"I hate this place, the smell, the colour of the walls, the atmosphere. It's a hateful place. I don't want you to be alone in there."

"That's such a Remus thing to say and to do." She said stroking his cheek with the back of her fingers. "Is that part of your Gryffindor chivalry?"

"No, it's part of my love for you, though."

"Remus?"

"Hmm hmm?" Remus only nodded, Tonks's caresses made him feel very sleepy.

"You know… I'm gonna sound cheesy and weird but you know, if there's something I learned it's that life's short so I shouldn't care. And I couldn't care less about sounding cheesy but –"

"Go on, Nymphadora."

"I want you to know, that you're my family, Remus. I know my mum said 'family only' but _you_ are part of my family." Remus felt his eyes tear and he wondered when he got so emotional. "You and I, we're our own family. I mean, I don't want to put pressure on you but I just wanted to say it."

Remus remembered his friends, years and years ago, telling him they were brothers, family.

_"You didn't think we'd let you down, did you Remus?" James asked tapping Remus's shoulder. Remus was speechless._

_"We didn't choose to be bitten, mate. We're not gonna let you down for something you've obviously not chosen to live. That's what friends are for." Sirius added shrugging._

_"We're Gryffindor brothers, now." James said. Peter nodded._

_"I mean, look at me and my family. But you've accepted me."_

_"And trust me, Sirius didn't look trust worthy at all, but he's still my best friend. Just like you. We're brothers, we stay for good and bad." James said and he got up. "Now I'm hungry. Let's go to the kitchen and ask for some food."_

And now, Tonks had just told him the same. They were family. And when he thought back about it, she really was family. She was everything he had closest to family. He moved and leaned on his elbow and kissed her. "I love you, you know that, right?" She added.

"I know. And I love you, too." He said inches from her lips. "We're our own family."

She smiled sadly at him and he saw the tears in her eyes again, he kissed her forehead and she told him he could sit back the way he was before and he rested his head on her lap again. She had moved closer to the edge of the bed so he was sitting more comfortably and she kept on stroking his hair again. It didn't take long for Remus to fell asleep and he had the idea that it was why she had told him to sit again. She had noticed his red eyes; he had spent most of the night crying about his lost friends. Sirius's death sent him back fifteen years earlier when he had learned James and Lily's death.

But, his head on her lap, her hand in his hair, and his hand on her thigh… it felt right. And for once he slept quite well. It didn't know how long he had slept but then he heard a voice.

"Remus." It was Tonks's voice. "Remus… it's time to wake up, I'm sorry." She said quietly. Her voice was like music, she spoke so carefully he didn't want to wake up, he wanted her to keep speaking while he slept. "Remus, love. Wake up, my parents are here." Remus opened his eyes suddenly and saw Tonks leaning, still stroking his hair softly.

"What?" He said as he sprang up.

"They arrived just a few minutes ago; I asked them to go get me a coffee." She said with a little amused smile.

"You mean they saw me… like this?" He said looking at her legs.

"Yes." Tonks said with a small chuckle. At least the situation had amused her a bit.

"Merlin! What are they going to think of me?"

"That you're a very tired man who stayed with their daughter all day long." She said tenderly.

"A pervert, you mean?" He said rubbing his eyes with his hands.

"Don't be silly." She said putting her head on one side. "Come here." She whispered lifting up his chin with her thin fingers. She pressed her lips on his gently, but surely not long enough for Remus's opinion but he knew her parents could walk in the room anytime now.

He sat more straight on the chair and Tonks helped him tidying his hair, lingering her hand in his hair.

"Here, as handsome as ever." She said as she looked at him. He'd never get tired of the way she looked at him. He was sure he looked anything but handsome: his eyes were abnormally red, his hair was a mess, he looked tired and pale, he had circles under his eyes but she didn't look at him with pity or disgust.

Her parents walked back in the room. Her father, Ted Tonks, gave Nymphadora the cup of coffee.

"Mr Tonks, Mrs Tonks." Remus said as he got up.

"Hello, Remus." Ted Tonks said with a smile.

"Hello." Andromeda said trying to sound polite but she failed at hiding the irritation in her voice.

"I thought I'd go see Molly Weasley, she will want some news about Nymphadora. And I'll leave you some time in family." Remus said on his most polite and calm tone.

"You don't have to leave because we're here." Ted said looking at his wife.

"It's not because of you. I had to go see Molly anyway. I'd best go while someone is with Nymphadora so she's not alone." He said looking at Tonks who was smiling at him.

"That's very nice of you." Ted said. Remus was surprised that Andromeda wasn't saying anything.

"That's a very Remus thing to do." Tonks said. Remus shook his head and when he was about to leave, Tonks caught his hand and pulled him toward her. He gave her a quick hug and kissed the top of her head discreetly.

"I'll come back." He whispered. He knew he couldn't help but blush when he left. Her parents would definitely hate him. He walked out of St Mungo and apparated in the middle of nowhere near The Burrow. It did him good to walk in the fresh air getting prepared for Molly's questions. He knocked at the door and didn't have long to wait before the ginger haired woman opened the door.

"Remus! Come in, come in!" She hurried inside. "Coffee? Tea?"

"A tea would be delightful, thank you Molly." Remus said. Molly gestured him toward a chair and he took a sit.

"How is she?"

"She's alright. She's fine, she has quite a few wounds but it's alright I guess. She's not complaining. She never is." Remus said looking at Molly preparing the tea. She had boiled water waiting for them already. "She's taking the news… not too bad. She feels guilty, though."

"Guilty?" Molly asked surprised.

"She thinks that she should have finished Bellatrix… that if she had, Sirius would be…"

"That's not true at all. We all know she did her best, she's one of the best fighters in the Order."

"I know, and I told her she shouldn't think that way but you know her."

"And how are you feeling Remus?"

"I'm fine. I'm better now that she's awake." Remus said and he imagined the worst in his head. He imagined that she could have died there too. "I don't know what I would have done if she had…"

"She's fine, Remus. She's alive." Molly said patting his forearm reassuringly. "And I'm sure she needs you very much." She placed the cup of tea in front of him.

"Not as much as I need her, I'm afraid."

"You know, Remus, I got to know her for almost a year and I can tell you that she cares very much about you and you shouldn't underestimate this."

"She's… she's amazing. You see what she had to go through this past week and she's so strong. She remains so strong."

"She was trained by Mad-Eye; that makes anyone tough I think." Molly said. "Is she alone now?"

"No, she's with her parents. I left her with them. They need time as family."

"Well, you're just as good as family for her, aren't you?" Molly said trying to sound casual but it was so a Molly tone. Remus laughed and she eyed him suspiciously.

"That's what she said."

"That you're as good as family?"

"Yes."

"She really is fond of you." She said looking at him tenderly like a mother.

"She could be with someone much younger, richer and who's not a werewolf. I think that's why her parents don't like me so much."

"Don't be silly Remus, you know she doesn't need this."

"No, actually, I don't know, Molly."

"Remus, do you really think that Tonks is the kind of woman who cares about money? Because if you do so, you are really disappointing me because you would be insulting her."

"You know I don't mean it that way."

"But that's just how it sounds like!" She said on that angry tone she used on her kids.

"I'm sorry Molly. I have the highest esteem for her."

"I know you do." Molly said with a smile. She took a sip of her tea and said: "I've received an owl from Dumbledoren, Harry agreed to let Grimmauld Place remain the headquarters."

"I can't say I'm surprised. Life's unfair on him." Remus said looking at the window.

"I think that's the exact thing he might be thinking right now." Molly said before she left a long sigh. "I offered to have him home for the summer but Dumbledore thinks it might be best for him to stay with his relatives and to stay a bit away for his own safety."

"We have to trust Dumbledore." Remus said. Remus was not always sure of Dumbledore's choices but that's what he kept saying to himself.

"Yes. But I still think Harry would be just fine here, he'd have Ron and everyone here."

"Ginny." Remus said with a smile, remembering the letters she had sent to Tonks – sometimes writing about Harry.

"Well, yes, Ginny, Fred and George." Molly said frowning apparently oblivious to her daughter's love life.

"We'll have to say something to his relatives. They'll have to treat him right this summer, especially after what happened." Remus said. "We'll need to talk about this at the next meeting."

"Do you think Tonks will be able to come for the next meeting?"

"I don't know. They said she's should be leaving tomorrow, so I think so yes."

"Dumbledore said we could say a word for Sirius. A little something, since he can't have proper funerals."

"That's a good idea." Remus said wondering what Sirius would think about it. Angry Sirius would say that they're hypocrites because they stuck him in a house for the past months but Happy Sirius, _Real_ Sirius would say that it was _the least_ he deserved; maybe a statue in his honour would be more appropriate.

"Are you staying with Tonks tonight?"

"Yes." Remus said looking down at his tea.

"Don't you think you should rest, too? You haven't taken a moment to yourself, Remus."

"I'm fine." Remus said trying to sound confident and sure about what he was saying but he wasn't at all. He could feel that something was wrong and right now he just wanted to run to St Mungo and be with Tonks because while he was with her, it didn't feel so wrong.

And that's what he did, later, he left the Burrow for St Mungo and when he opened the door of Tonks's room she greeted him opening her arms widely. Her parents weren't in the room anymore – he wondered how long he had left – he walked across the room and pulled her into a tight hug.

"Missed me?" She mumbled against his chest.

"Of course." He said smiling sadly. He knew why she felt so affectionate. He knew because he felt the same way. Sirius's death had showed them how real this war was. They had lost their friend and he couldn't help thinking that he could lose her too. He kissed her hair and her forehead and he sat on the edge of the bed. She told him about her conversations with her parents. Remus told her about what Molly had told him about the Order and Harry.

When it was time for her to sleep, the Healer said they wouldn't give her dreamless potion because she shouldn't get used to it too much. So Remus had, protectively, held her tight in his arms and when he saw the tears streaming down her face he wiped them away. She fell asleep eventually, and so did Remus but twice that night she had had nightmares. He wasn't surprised at all, and he had learned how to deal with them so kept telling her that there were only dreams and that he was there for her and she fell asleep again.

* * *

_Hey everyone!_

_Sorry I couldn't update sooner. I had exams and during the week I had to study for exams because I leaving for a week of holidays so yeah very busy._

_I hope you like this one! I should have the wifi tonight so I may go and correct it a bit tonight! Sorry again! Don't hesitate to review to say what you like/dislike! I love your reviews!_

_Remus Alexander (since I can't answer you directly) : Thank you very much! :D_

_This chapter didn't have much happening but I should go faster in the next ones. But I think the first day was important because - in my opinion - it changed their relationship. I think it strengthened their feelings for one another. So yeah, just tell what you think of it ! :)_

_xx _


	49. Flowers

**First: I apologize for taking so long but I'll tell you why at the end.**

* * *

_She's got the biggest heart_ _that you could possibly imagine._ T_here's room for everyone in there. S__trangers, friends, family alike._ I_f you need her help,_  
_she'll provide it._ B_ut when it comes to help herself,_ _she's unsure of what to do_ _but when she smiles,_ _it seems as though she has forgotten_ _about those wretched problems._ I_f only i could make her smile all the time_ _the world might be a better place._

* * *

Tonks could finally leave the hospital. She had to convince her mother that she didn't have to go back to her parents and that she was staying with Remus. The last part was the worst for them. Remus remembered Andromeda's look when she said "With Remus?". Tonks told them that Remus would stay at her flat or she would go to his house – though she had already said to Remus that she wanted to go to his house. _Their_ house, Remus thought. She hadn't say the word 'house' anyway; she had use the word 'home'.

_Home._

Remus's home was not this house, not a place. Remus's home was wherever Tonks was.

Remus was behind her, and when she put her bag on the floor he noticed her shoulders were shaking. He stepped closer and wrapped his arms around her. She leaned on him and tears kept rolling down her cheeks.

"He's really gone." She said. "It feels so real now. In the hospital, it was like the time had stopped. Nothing felt real. But now, now it feels so real. And it's my fault if he's gone." Nymphadora said with a trembling voice.

"It's not your fault. I told you it's not." Remus said in her hair.

She turned around and he held her tightly against him.

"You know what, love?" He said and she stepped backward to look at her. "I'm going to take a blanket, and we'll go outside in the backyard, alright?" She nodded and he did as he said.

He placed the blanket on the grass near a tree and they sat. At first she was holding her knees against her chest. Then she moved to kiss him on the cheek and run her fingers through his hair.

"I don't know what I'd do without you." She whispered.

"I think you'd do just fine." Remus said and she shook her head. "I'm just an old and poor werewolf that your parents hate."

"You're just the kind, brave, strong man that I love." She said and she kissed his temple. She laid her legs on the blanket and gestured him to place his head on her lap.

He did as she said and he didn't regret it. He felt better. She rested her head on his shoulder and kept running her fingers through his hair.

"I'm everything but strong." Remus said quietly, his eyes still closed.

"Being strong doesn't mean that you don't cry, or that you never feel weak, nor that you don't feel anything. It means that you don't let life get you down." Tonks said. "So I'd say you're stronger than you think."

They moved to lay on the cover and Remus and Nymphadora looked at each other. Remus smiled when he saw a piece of hair falling on her eyes. He tried to brush it away but it fell again.

"This strand of hair is really rebellious."

"You've never seen yours in the morning." She said smiling.

"My hair is… well, it's my hair." He said trying to look at his hair through his eyelashes.

"I love your hair." Tonks said brushing his hair away from his forehead but just like hers it fell again on his eyes. "You know, I think we're falling into madness." She said smiling a bit. Remus noticed that being home made her good. She was already smiling more since they were outside even if he could notice that her eyes were still watery.

"Why?" Remus asked smiling, too.

"We spent the last days together stuck in a room and now we're outside and we just keep staying together."

"If you want me to leave you some space you can tell me." Remus said quietly looking into her lovely dark eyes.

"There's nowhere I'd rather be." She said getting even closer. "When's the Order Meeting?"

"The next one is tomorrow night. They waited for you to be back to say a word about Sirius." Remus informed her. "I thought we could all see Harry when he'll come back from Hogwarts, you know… before he sees his family."

"The muggles?" Tonks asked. Remus nodded and she shook her head yes before she answered "Yeah, we should. He'll love to see you." But then she moved her shoulder as if it was paining her.

"Are you alright, Dora?" Remus asked concerned.

"Yeah, I'm fine. It just hurts, you know." She shrugged. Remus leaned closer and said in her ear: "How about I prepare a bath for you?"

"That'd be lovely." Tonks whispered back. Remus made to get up but Tonks grabbed his sleeve. He turned to look at her and with a shy smile she said "Wait, stay here a minute." She pulled him into a hug and said "Thank you for everything."

"You don't have to thank me." Remus whispered in her ear.

"Yes, I do." She said holding him even tighter. He stroked her back tenderly and kissed her hair. He hoped he could make her feel better.

Then, Remus got up and walked back in the room. He prepared her a warm bath and put a spell on it so that it'd never go cold. He put a lot of her favourite soap – dark-raspberries soap – so it made a lot of foam. When it was ready he walked back in the backyard but he walked slowly so he could look at her. She was lying on the cover, her hair was still brown but she seemed peaceful. He was shadowing her so she opened her eyes.

"Your bath is ready." Remus said smiling.

"I hope you're coming with me." She said raising an eyebrow. Remus helped her on her feet and kissed her nose.

They walked across the backyard and Remus couldn't help but looking at Nymphadora, his Nymphadora.

"Look, the flowers grew." Tonks said walking on one side of the backyard. "They're turning purple."

Remus followed her and looked at the _Driadus lilac. _It was a kind of Lilac that changed colour with the exposition to sunlight. Remus and Tonks had put some in the backyard and realized that his house really wasn't _his_ anymore, it was theirs.

"It really looks great, here."

"Yeah, it does." Remus said looking at her.

"They're so pretty." Tonks said. Remus took one of a strand of flowers and put it in her hair, just above her ear. She looked up at him and smiled.

* * *

Nymphadora smiled at him, no she was beaming, though there were still tears in her eyes. And she knew why she was smiling; she was smiling because she knew that as long as he was there, nothing could be totally wrong. The world could crash but if she had him in her life, nothing could be totally wrong. They talked about the flowers as they walked back in the house. Tonks loved this house, she loved it because she felt home there. She liked the colours, the smell, she liked that she knew where everything was. The last thing they had placed in the house was a picture of them that Sirius had taken a few months ago. Remus had chosen to place it on a piece of furniture in the living room.

When she walked in the bathroom she thought it was a dream. The bath was overdrawn with foam, and it smelled of her soap. She felt like a kid.

"Remus Lupin, do you take secret baths often? Because you seem to be doing it perfectly." Tonks said.

"No, no I don't. Well sometimes I did, especially after the full moons but usually I take a shower." Remus explained.

Tonks took off her t-shirt and glanced at herself in the mirror. She shouldn't have. She saw the bruises on her ribcage. It was huge, red and blue at some places; there was a scar that crossed her side too but it was healing. She felt horrible and disgusted with herself. She couldn't look somewhere else, she just couldn't. She put off her jeans and there were bruises on the side of her thighs too, _damn_, she hated herself. It reminded her that she had failed, and because of her, Sirius, her cousin, Remus's best friend had died. She felt the tears in her eyes again.

As if Remus could read her mind, he put his hands on her shoulders and kneaded them quietly.

"I'm horrible." Tonks said as she looked at herself. The only good looking thing was her pink bra and pink boxer and Remus.

"If anything, it was my fault." Remus said. "I should have protected you. I should have been there. I should have known."

"No, Remus. When we signed for this, we knew it could have happened. You did your best and you saved the kids."

"When I saw you, it was already too late, you were lying on the floor and Mad-Eye was trying to renervate you."

"Remus, it's not your fault." Tonks said but he continued talking.

"When I was on your side you were unconscious and Mad-Eye told me to get you to St Mungo and tell that you were an Auror on mission and they seemed all so worried. If anything had happened to you.."

"Remus, I'm here."

"Sorry." He said and he shook his head as if he had been somewhere else the second before. She stroked his cheek reassuringly and he smiled at her.

"If I look this horrible it's only my fault." Tonks said with a sad smile.

"That's not what I see." Remus said. Tonks shrugged. "Do you want to know what I see?" Remus said but he didn't wait for her answer. "I see a beautiful woman, who fought, who's brave, and strong."

"Someone who failed, who didn't manage to fight properly and because of me he died."

"I told you it's not your fault." Remus said and he wrapped his arms around her.

"So it can be your fault but not mine? We're pathetic. I failed, Remus. That's just the fact." Tonks said.

"You did not fail. Bellatrix is wicked and you fought brilliantly." He kissed her hair. Tonks felt slightly better but she felt even better when Remus started to kiss her neck.

"What's this lecherous behaviour, Mr. Lupin?" Tonks asked as she tried to nuzzle into his hair.

"You mind?" Remus asked between two kisses.

"I'm not sure, I need more time to make my mind." She said and Remus kept kissing her shoulder. "Turn your head, I need to check something." Tonks said and she pressed her lips on his. She kissed him tenderly running her fingers in his hair. "Hmm.." She said against her lips. "No, I don't mind." She said. He kissed down her neck and collarbone and took off her bra strap and kissed down her chest. "Remus, you could at least take off your clothes, too."

"Oh," He said looking down at his clothes. "Yeah."

Remus helped her get rid of her underwear and he lifted her up, holding her waist carefully not to hurt her and he put her in the bath. Tonks was laughing as he did so, and she realized it was the first time she had laughed since Sirius's death. If another person had tried to take off her clothes she'd have hex the hell out of him but Remus did it so mischievously that she'd wanted to put on her clothes so he could do it again.

She slid in the bath, and tried to pull all the foam toward her. But when she realized that Remus was undressing just in front of her, she couldn't help but look at him. She took the flower from her hair and placed it carefully on the side of the bathtub.

"The show's good?" Remus asked as he pulled off his trousers.

"Perfect." Tonks said and she threw some foam at him. He slid into the water just in front of her and placed his feet on her sides, just stroking her skin slightly with his toes.

"Does it feel better?" Remus asked and Tonks only nodded. She dipped her head into the water quickly and brushed her hair backward. "Could you stop taking all the foam? I have nothing left on my side." Remus said and he sounded like a boy. Tonks liked… no, she loved the childish part in him.

"Why? You don't have anything to hide, you look handsome."

"No. Give me back some foam." Remus said childishly.

"Nope." Tonks said with a mischievous smile.

"Nymphadora." He said as a threat.

"Still no." She said as she dipped into the water.

"Alright." He said and he moved and sat just in front of her.

"What are you doing?" Tonks asked laughing.

"You don't give me the foam, I come to the foam." Remus said and he really sounded like a teenage boy. Tonks wrapped her arms around his waist and stroked his chest softly. She rested her chin on his shoulder and he leaned backward carefully.

"You know you could have used your wand?" Tonks said trying hard not to laugh.

"Yes."

Tonks laughed lightly but then she had a better idea. Even if she liked the view of Remus's back, she thought that she'd like to see his face even better. So she struggled to move and sit in front of him, when he understood her move he helped her and she managed not to fall and not to put too much water on the floor. When she was sitting comfortable in front of him she leaned to feel his chest on her back. He held her tightly and kissed her neck again.

They spent a lot of time in bath, having their first moment of intimacy since a long time and then having fun washing each other's hair. Remus got out first and tied a towel around his waist and lifted Tonks from the bathtub and tied a towel around her. Tonks kept smiling at Remus's careful gestures because for once it felt as if there wasn't a war going on and there were just the two of them. He took a towel a dried her hair.

"You're taking care of me so I won't go to my parents or my flat?"

"You'd really go to your flat or your parents if I wasn't drying your hair?" Remus asked raising an eyebrow.

"No."

"That's what I thought." Remus said and he kissed the tip of her nose.

"Let me dry your hair, too." She said as she took the towel and tiptoed to do it. When his hair was dried enough but still wet enough for him to be dead sexy, she kissed his lips tenderly and then his jaw, his neck and Remus took the hint and a several seconds later, they already were on the bed.

Tonks realized that he could see her bruises on her legs and she felt very self-conscious, she tried to look at her legs to see how much he could see them. But Remus who was on top of her murmured in her ear:

"Want me to kiss them better?" Tonks nodded and Remus gave her a kiss on the lips before he started to kiss her thigh. She had missed him; she had missed his touch, his lips on her skin. She had missed their intimacy – these past few days in St Mungo had been so strange, it had been a constant reminder of what had happened but now, for a night, they could stop thinking. They could just forget everything and just let their bodies talk for them. Remus's lips were kissing her higher and he was about to untie her towel but as a reflex, Tonks stopped him by holding her towel. He looked up at her, not chocked, nor upset, but understanding. He came closer to her face and kissed her. It was a tender kiss, a reassuring kiss.

"Trust me." He said against her lips and she loosened her hold on her towel. Remus untied her towel and threw it on the floor and then his lips kissed her bruises carefully. His hands knew what to do, so did his lips. He made her feel better; he made her feel loved and wanted and that was exactly what she needed after what had happened.

That night, everything was different, the hunger in their kisses clashed with the tenderness of their gestures. It was as if they had found each other again, as if they needed each other more than they had both thought. And having sex together was their way to deal with everything.

They eventually fell asleep, and for once Tonks didn't have nightmares. Maybe it was because she was sleeping in her bed, with Remus and not in the cold bed of St Mungo.

She woke up and for once Remus was still asleep. It didn't happen often so she just looked at him for a moment. She looked at his hair, his sandy brown hair mixed with some grey ones. She knew Remus didn't like his greying hair but she kept telling him that it only made him sexier. She looked at his eyelashes; they were long and the same colour as his hair. He looked younger when he was asleep: he looked peaceful. She looked at his scars. He hated them but she wouldn't want his face any other way. She remembered telling him that his scars were not the proof that he only turned into a wolf one night a month but that he was brave. He was brave to deal with this and when he could have turned like Greyback and be hateful; he chose to be more human than ever. Remus definitely was the most human man she had ever met. She looked at his lips, damn, she loved them more than anything. She loved their thin shape, their colour, she loved everything about them. She loved everything about him.

There was a part of her that wanted to wake him up but the other one wanted to look at him sleeping forever. Damn. She decided she'd wait for him to wake up and then she'd put into action her other idea. She waited, and decided that she decided she'd stroke his hair while waiting. The corner of his lips curled into a smile. So she put her plan into action and she kissed his cheek, and his lips, his neck.

"Dora.." He moaned his voice hoarse but Tonks kept kissing him. "Are you waking me up to have sex?"

"Do you know a better reason to wake up?" Tonks said between kisses. Remus hesitated and seemed to think about the question.

"No." He simply said and she kissed his lips again.

"That's what I thought."

They got out of bed a bit late and spent the morning not doing much. When she put on her dress, Tonks looked at herself and wondered if she could morph her hair pink again. Remus was with her in the bathroom.

"Remus." She said not looking away from the mirror.

"Yes, love?" He said and he gave her a kiss on the cheek as he was buttoning his white shirt.

"Do you think I could make my hair pink again?" She asked with a sad smile.

"Of course." He said as if it was obvious.

"You don't think it's disespectful? I mean, Sirius…'s gone and…"

"Sirius loved your pink hair, and I think that he'd love to know you're pink again." Remus said tenderly.

"He always made fun of me."

"Well Dora, that's Sirius's way of saying he likes it."

"So you think pink's fine?"

"Pink is perfect." Remus said and he gave her a kiss on the cheek again. Tonks morphed her hair and it was bubblegum pink and spiky again. Remus took the flower that was still on the bathtub and looked at it.

"It's a bit wilted now, I'll go fetch you another one." He said as he left the bathroom. She followed him into the living room but walked to the kitchen to write a letter. Remus came back with a flower and placed it carefully above her ear in her hair. It wasn't _Driadus lilac_ this time; it was a light pink magical rose: magical roses could live longer than the muggle ones once they were picked, they could last a month, sometimes even more and they didn't need water.

"It suits your hair." Remus said and he kissed the top of her hair. "What are you doing?"

"Writing to Molly. I'm telling her I'm back."

Tonks owled Molly to let her know that she was back home and if there was something she could do, she was available. Remus did the same but they had the same kind of answer. "There's a meeting tonight, have a rest until then."

"Do they think I'm made of sugar?" Tonks said just after she read Molly's letter.

"No, but –"

"It's because I failed. I'm sure they're all mad at me. It's my entire fault." Tonks said and she didn't notice her glass was slipping from her hand. It crashed on the floor and Tonks felt tears in her eyes again. "I'm fucking useless, that's it! I'm fucking USELESS and HOPELESS!" She screamed. Remus got up from his chair and with a wave of his wand he cleaned everything. Then, he stood in front of her and looked at her insistently.

"You're not useless, nor hopeless. But you've had a rough time, and their intentions are nice. They only want to be sure that you've recovered and that you're not tired."

"But I'm fine. I'm fine. I swear I am!" Tonks said tears falling down her cheeks. She was tired of crying, too. Sirius would want her to fight, not cry like a little girl.

"I know you are, but it's normal that they gave you some time. And for your information, they've done the same to me."

"I'm sorry. It's my fault. I'm anything but good to you. I'm a burden for you." Tonks sobbed.

Remus took her in his arms and held her tightly. He kept saying reassuring words in her ear, told her that he needed her, that he loved her and that she was strong and brave. She stopped crying and looked up at him.

"I'm sorry. I'm a mess, I keep crying." Remus kissed her forehead.

"Don't apologize. You're only being human." Remus said quietly and he rested his chin on the top of her head.

When it was time for them to leave for Grimmauld Place, Tonks could feel the tension in the room. She took off the flower in her hair and carefully placed it on the kitchen table, having the attention to wear it back when she'd come back home. They held each other's hand and apparated in front of the house. Tonks was sure she was crushing Remus's hand but she couldn't help it. It didn't feel right to come here if Sirius wasn't there. They walked to the door and she felt like the girl in the muggle story the Little Mermaid, she could feel knives in her feet as she walked.

Remus opened the door and led them to the living room; they could hear voices of people talking. Remus was still holding her hand and Tonks was surprised he hadn't let go of her yet.

"I'm fine." Tonks said in a low voice so no one would hear her. Remus frowned but then seemed to understand when he looked at their linked hands.

"Sorry." He said but he didn't really let go of her hand, he just loosened his grip. They walked into the living room and everyone looked at them. Molly was the first to speak:

"Tonks dear, I'm so glad you're back. How are you feeling?" The ginger woman pulled her into a motherly hug and kept on rambling about food she had prepared for her.

"I'm fine, Molly." Tonks said.

"Back on your feet?" Kingsley said with one of his joking smile.

"Always." Tonks answered. Hestia came to say hello to, Emmeline Vance gave her a hug. It was too much for Tonks who only wanted to sit next to Remus as usual and forget about her last week in St Mungo. Everyone eventually took their seat. Sirius's one was empty. No one dared to sit where he used to sit. Tonks doubted no one ever would. She tried not to cry, to hold back her tears. It was hard but she managed. Remus was next to her, his hand on her knee, stroking smoothly through the material. For him, she'd stay strong because he had lost his best friend. He was living a rough time but he remained strong so for him, she'd do the same. She could do it.

"Before we start," Dumbledore said standing on his feet in front of everyone sitting around the table. "I'd like us to have a minute of silence for our lost friend Sirius." Tonks was sure Snape had coughed just on purpose because of the word 'friend'. Couldn't he have a little respect? They remained silent. But Tonks couldn't help but think about the many stories Sirius had told her, and how he had made a habit of breaking the rules. Just at the thought of him, Tonks could feel tears in her eyes but Remus moved closer to her and rested his hand on the small of her back.

"He'd like us to break the rules." Tonks whispered in his ear. She was trying to smile but her voice sounded more broken than she wished.

"You're right. He'd be proud of you." Remus answered and he gave her a kiss on the temple.

The minute passed and Dumbledore added:

"Does any of you want to say something about him?"

Kingsley cleared his throat and said "Sirius was… he was a git. I swear I'm sure he cheated when we played poker once. But as much as he was a git, he was a good friend who I could trust and who I could come to. And even if he hated being stuck in this house, he was one of the best member this Order ever had, a very good fighter and a brilliant man."

"Minerva gave me a word from her, that she would have loved to say here, but she didn't want to leave Hogwarts as you can understand. That is also the reason why I won't stay long." Dumbledore said and he unfolded a piece of paper. "_Sirius Black was the best and the worst student I've had." _Tonks and Remus laughed._ "He was a remarkably brilliant person who had a strong affection for mischief and who had a real talent to make people laugh and girls lose concentration. That's why he was the worst student I've had. But he was a clever and intelligent man, and a brilliant fighter. He had taken the annoying habit of calling me "Minnie" but all these annoying memories are the best I have. He will not be forgotten." _He paused, everyone was still smiling."Remus, would you like to say something?" Dumbledore asked. Remus nodded but he hesitated some long minutes before he spoke. Tonks gave his hand a squeeze and hoped to be reassuring.

"Sirius was my school best friend, as everyone knows." Remus said looking at the table. "He had a lot of flaws that I will not deny now that he is… gone." He said with a smile. "He was a man who stood up against his family when he was just eleven and that's what he did his whole life. I don't think he would have rather die any other way. He fought to protect his godson. He'll live in our memories and in our hearts." He was smiling sadly, his eyes twinkling with nostalgia and Tonks only wanted to hold him tight into his arms but she couldn't, not now, not in front of everyone.

"Nymphadora, maybe? A last word?" Dumbledore asked, looking at her. Tonks thought it didn't feel right, Remus should have had the last word.

"I can't say anything better than all of you said." Tonks said hesitantly. "He taught me the best spells to prank someone. And he was a man who actually taught me a lot about life and I won't forget his advice and long night talk. I won't forget him." She said but she knew she couldn't add anything because she'd cry.

"Thank you, Tonks. Arthur, could you tell us about the Ministry's reaction?" Dumbledore listened to the people reporting the last news they had but Tonks wasn't completely listening. She tried but failed; she couldn't help but look at Sirius's empty seat partly hidden by the vase full of pink, white and purple daisies. That was a colourful bouquet of flowers and it was as if it was compensating for Sirius's empty seat. Even if Sirius had often been in a bad mood, he had a cheerful personality when he was in a good mood. Tonks loved to ask him about his Marauder's stories because it always made him smile and laugh to talk about this. Tonks tried to concentrate and listen to what Dumbledore was saying.

"Lucius Malfoy will be judged very soon, I believe." Dumbledore said. Tonks lost track of his words. She thought about the fight. She hadn't been scared, she had lived worse fights but, this time, one of her friends had died and she couldn't help but think it was her fault.

"Some people will join us, in the upcoming months. Bill Weasley and Fleur Delacour and I believe Charlie Weasley should pay us a visit, soon. Is that right, Arthur?" Dumbledore looked at Arthur and Molly who both nodded.

"New long-term missions will be given to you." Dumbledore went on. "I've discussed with the soon to be Prime Minister: Rufus Scrimgeour." Tonks wasn't surprised. Remus had told her a few days ago, she had insisted to keep on track with everything. "most Aurors will be staying at Hogsmeade so they'll remain close to Hogwarts. We won't be careful enough. Miss Tonks, I would like you to be the one who stay closer to Hogwarts. We all trust you, and I would rather have someone I know close to the students."

"Of course, sir." Tonks said.

"Now, we should discuss Harry's return home next week." Dumbledore said. Molly insisted that he could stay at the Burrow but Dumbledore said that it was better for him to stay in the muggle world for the holidays. Remus offered to write a letter to his uncle and aunt to tell them what happened, Dumbledore and everyone else approved. Remus and Molly both talked about the Order being there for Harry at the station because it'd do him good to see that he's not alone and to have a little talk with his relatives. Again, everyone agreed with both of them. Dumbledore quickly dismissed them after telling them that there would be another meeting the Friday after the kids leave Hogwarts. When he left, people started to move and talk with each other.

Tonks talked with Kingsley to know how it would be for her when she'd get back to work. Then, Molly came to her to ask her if she needed anything, and that she shouldn't hesitate to come to her. Tonks really loved Molly Weasley. She was such a kind woman, and even if sometimes she could seem a bit annoying when she'd offer someone 5 times some food to take back home, she was kind and nice. Tonks eventually found her way back to Remus, she always did. He took her hand and whispered in her ear:

"How're you feeling?"

"I'm fine." She said and she stood close to him, just enough so that she could feel his arm against hers. He didn't let go her hand but no one was surprised. Apparently, everyone was slightly aware that there was something between them. They kept talking about what the Daily Prophet had written of the event and soon, Remus and Tonks left. It hadn't been too bad, she had managed not to cry in front of everyone.

They went back home and after he had taken off his coat, Remus walked to his desk and started writing a letter to Harry's relatives. Tonks went to the kitchen and took the light pink rose that Remus had picked earlier and put it in her hair again. She walked in the backyard and just closed her eyes and enjoyed a peaceful time. She'd be back to work in a few days and she'd meet the crazy world outside and she just wanted to be sure she had enjoyed her last quiet moment before a long time.

When it was starting to be colder outside, she went back inside and noticed that Remus was still writing. She hugged him from behind and rested her chin on his shoulder.

"What do you think of it?" Remus said turning the letter a bit more upward so she could read better.

As Tonks read she couldn't help but think that it was so _Remus-like_. It was polite, and slightly threatening by the end, but it was so well written. It told what had happened, the big lines. How Harry had lost someone important for him and had lived a traumatic moment so they ought to be nice with him. Remus's writing was so elegant.

"Perfect." Tonks said.

"I'll owl them tomorrow morning." He said and he folded it carefully and placed it in an envelope.

Remus moved his chair so that Tonks could sit on her lap. They remained in a peaceful silent for a moment and then moved to prepare dinner together. They didn't talk much of the Order matter, they already had talked a lot during the meeting and usually after a meeting: they didn't keep on talking about these subjects.

They prepared dinner together, Remus trying to teach some trick to Tonks but she was too clumsy to get them right.

"Damn, I'll never be able to cook you something!" Tonks said after she had failed at beating egg whites.

"I don't need someone to cook me anything." Remus said standing next to her, still cutting the vegetables.

"You never fancied a woman cooking you a nice meal, like Molly?" Tonks said raising her eyebrows.

"No, I was more into the action kind of women, you see? Someone who is able to make my kitchen look like a muggle war had happened just by cooking." Remus said smiling.

"Pfff you're only trying to get into my pants tonight." Tonks said shaking her head and Remus laughed.

"I really doubt I need this to get "into your pants", Dora."

"Really?" She asked on a daring tone.

"Yes, I'm sure if I started kissing you just like this." He said and he kissed her neck. "And if I placed my hands just there." He said and he put the knives on the counter and rested his hands on her waist.

"Don't be so over yourself, Remus." Tonks said trying not to grin but she failed miserably. He made her turn into his arms and he kissed her lips tenderly.

"I was just proving to you, Nymphadora, that I think I know you pretty well and I wouldn't change anything about you."

"How about we keep cooking and then _I_'ll prove you how much I love you and that I wouldn't change a thing about you?"

"There are a lot of things to change about me." Remus said and he kissed her forehead.

"No, I wouldn't change anything." Tonks said and she kissed his lips lingeringly again.

"I thought you said we'd cook, Dora?"

"Yeah… yeah. And we'll need strength because I swear it will take me some time to prove you how much I love you." Nymphadora said trying to sound as flirtatious as possible. Remus laughed and placed a kiss on her forehead again. He looked at the flower placed above her ear and said:

"The rose looks absolutely lovely on you." He said playing with her hair between his fingers.

* * *

_Hey!_

_I am really sorry for being so long. I really am. And I offer you my sincerest apologies. I had some busy weeks first I wasn't at home and I didn't have internet and really I didn't have much time to write. And then it was my exams. I'm really sorry. And I won't be lying to you, it took me some time to write it. I didn't want to mess it up, you know. And today I spent a lot of time writing so you could have a long chapter. It's not that long, I know. But I really respect you, and I'm deeply sorry I made you wait so long._

_But now, I'll have a 'normal' life again so I'll manage to find time every week to write for you. I'll try my best so it won't happen again. please don't hate me. haha_

_About the chapter, I hope you like it. I tried to show the 'back to normal' life and how they had to live and cope with death at the same time. I know there's some 'fluffy' time but they spent a few days without 'touching' each other so I think they would have need it. And then, I think it's really brought them closer so that's __also their way to forget about everything._

_By the way, did you like the Tonks's point of view part? _

_I don't know what to add. **Tell me what you like/dislike as usual**! (Please do, I always need your opinion on this fic, it's the most important so if there's something bothering you, please tell me!) _

_The quote: I know it's a bit weird compared to the other ones, but I think it could describe Tonks quite well. She loves Remus so much that she actually forgets herself in the year following this chapter. She's wants to help him but she doesn't know how to help herself, he knows though. _

_Have a good week :) xx_


	50. Fate

_I want to hide the truth, I want to shelter you but with the beast inside there's nowhere we can hide. No matter what we breed we still are made of greed. This is my kingdom come. Look into my eyes: it's where my demons hide. Don't get too close. It's dark inside." Demons -_ _Imagine Dragons_

* * *

Remus woke up and stretched his legs, he felt good in a way. He couldn't help but remember that Sirius was dead. It was always his first thought in the morning. He wondered how long it would be his first thought, how long would it take for him to get used to the idea? Would he ever get used to the idea? He looked next to him and so messy pink hair on the pillow. Nymphadora seemed peacefully sleeping and she didn't seem to be close to waking up. Remus looked at her muggle alarm clock and he turned it off and decided he would wake her up his own way.

He moved to be in front of her and protectively tightened his hold on her. He kissed her forehead and whispered in her ear:

"Dora, it's time to wake up." She moaned against the pillow. "Come on, sweetheart."

She moved closer to him, her face soon to be buried in his chest.

"Five more minutes." She mumbled. Remus obliged and let her sleep five more minutes. He held her tightly and stroked her hair. After five minutes, Remus kissed her temple and said:

"Dora, now it's time to wake up." She moaned again, apparently not decided to get up. It was her first day back to work and even Remus was slightly apprehensive about the idea. It could be a bit too soon, she had just left St Mungo a week ago. "You're going to be late for work." He said and he kissed her hair.

"No." She said and hid her head in her pillow. "And stay with me." She said and she tried to pull him closer.

"Dora…" Remus said as he stroked her hair, "sweet Dora, it's really time to wake up now." He said and he couldn't help but leave kissed in her hair and he wondered it that was really a good strategy.

"Gimme a reason to wake up." She said cheekily .

"I have some good ideas but even if they will wake you up, you won't get up." He answered. She moved to kiss his jaw and then his lips. "But now it's time to get up."

"We can agree that when we'll have kids you'll be the one to give them the first bottle feed." Tonks said sleepily.

_When we'll have kids. _Remus had, of course, thought about it but hearing it from her this way, it seemed so real.

"Dora.." Remus said, hesitating. "there's something I need to tell you… I don't know if I can have children.. I've never heard about any werewolf who's had children." Remus said. _That's the moment,_ he thought. The moment when she realizes that she has no future with him. Even if she's young, of course she'll want children one day and Remus didn't if he could give her this life. He wanted to give her this life. He wanted it with all his heart.

"I'm not saying I want children right now… we'll see. Maybe when everything's a bit less of a mess… and if you can't, well, there are other ways. I was just thinking that it could great if we had kids someday." She seemed to have chosen her words carefully – Remus was sure she meant adoption, numerous muggles adopted children. It was less recurrent in the wizarding world but it happened. And just the fact that she wouldn't leave him for this reason, and that she wouldn't mind adoption made him realized how lucky he was – and how unfair he was with her.

And as Remus thought about it… having kids with Nymphadora Tonks. He could just picture it.

_"Mummy! Daddy! Wake up!" A little boy shouted as he ran across the room. He was followed by a little girl trying to follow her brother._

_Dora moaned against her pillow, used to enjoy her late Sunday mornings in bed. Both children climbed on the bed and sat waiting for their parents to wake up. Remus opened his eyes and was faced with a blue haired boy looking at him._

_"Good mornin, Teddy Bear."_

_"Wotcher Daddy."_

_"Your mother's son." Remus said, smiling tenderly. "Hello, Romy."_

_"Daddy!" She shouted and she threw herself in Remus's arms. Romy wasn't a metamorphmagus like her brother, and she had her father's hair colour but everything from her mother._

_"Why Mum hasn't wake up yet?" The blue haired boy asked._

_"Because she's had a very long week and she's very tired." Remus said and just as he spoke he saw his wife moving and starting to wake up. Nymphadora opened her eyes slowly and snuggled closer to Remus._

_"Wotcher Teddy Bear, watcher my little Romy." She said sleepily._

_"Goodmorning, sweetheart." Remus said._

_"Goodmorning, love." She answered smiling._

_"Ugghh!" Teddy made a disgusted face and Remus rolled his eyes._

_"Are you coming down with ys?" Teddy asked. Romy was now hugging her mother and decided to lay across the two of them: her head on her mother's side and her feet on Remus._

_"Why so early?" Dora said as she closed her eyes again._

_"There's a muggle cartoon and Dad promised we'd go in the village!" Teddy said impatiently._

_"You're right. I did." Remus said and he noticed his wife drifting into sleep again. He stroked her hair gently and as he did she moved her head on his chest. Romy moved slowly and a bit awkwardly, trying not to wake up her mother. She sat on Remus's lap and said:_

_"Mummy's sleeping again." She very carefullystroke her hair the way Remus had done a few minutes ago and when her father smiled approvingly at her, the little girl seemed very proud of herself._

_"Can I go watch TV alone, Dad?" Teddy asked a bit impatient. _

_"Alright, I'll join you in a minute and prepare breakfast." Remus answered. "And we'll have a ride in the village with the new bike Harry gave to you, after breakfast."_

_"Alright, Daddy. Oh and I finished the book last night! It was great, could you give me another one?"_

_"But I gave it to you two days ago, Teddy!" Remus said laughing lightly._

_"I know but I couldn't stop reading, I finished it last night." He said smiling widely._

_"Alright, I'll search a good one for you this afternoon." Remus said buthe had almost not finished that Teddy had already left the room._

_"His father's son." Nymphadora mumbled._

_"Can I stay with you a bit longer?" Romy asked._

_"Of course, little duck." Nymphadora said reaching for her daughter. Remus had always thought that she had had her mother's beauty but Remus's eyes colour. _

_"There's room between your mother and I." He said gesturing to the little space between them. Romy lay between the two of them, her head on Remus's chest. Nymphadora placed her arm around her daughter and reached for Remus's hand. They looked at each other smiling and Remus leaned to kiss her. He looked back at her and kissed her forehead._

_"Daddy?" Romy asked, looking up at him, her chin on his chest._

_"Yes, sweetie?"_

_"How much do you love Mummy?" The little girl answered. Nymphadora laughed and added:_

_"That's something I'd like to know." Nymphadora said cheekily._

_"I love her.. how could I explain to you… Do you remember when I showed you the stars and the moon?"_

_"Yes."_

_"I love her as much as there's space between the earth and the stars. Back and forth."_

_"That's a lot!" The little girl said genuinely shocked. _

_"Well, and actually I'm quite sure it's still not a good comparison, I think I love her even more than that."_

_"Like back and forth and back and forth again?"_

_"Yes. As many back and forth as there are stars." Remus said looking at Nymphadora who was smiling as he spoke. _I love you_ she mouthed. _

_"And Mummy, do you love Daddy as much?"_

_"Yes, as much as the space between the earth and the stars and as many travels as there are stars."_

_"And you won't leave each other?"_

_"Of course not, why are you asking this?" Nymphadora asked surprised by her daughter's question._

_"At school, my friend Tara said her parents are divorced. She said they didn't love each other anymore so they decided to live in different houses and that she lives in both houses, now. I don't want to live in two houses. I want to live with both of you, and Teddy too. I love both of you, I just want it to be enough for you to stay. I'm trying to love you as much as I can but I don't know how much you can love someone."_

_"My daughter, a future hufflepuff." Remus said and Nymphadora stuck her tongue at him. _

_"Romy, sweetheart, Daddy and I love each other very very very much." Her mother started. "And we don't plan on leaving each other, so don't worry. And we love you very very very much, you and Teddy."_

_"Alright." Romy said. Remus and Nymphadora looked at each other again and smiled; they kissed each other again, and rested their forehead against one another. _

"Remus! Sorry, I didn't mean to pressure you." Tonks said.

"No, you didn't. Sorry I was lost in thoughts. I… I'd love to have children with you. I'd love us… to be a family." He said, not hesitant about the words, or the meaning, but because he realized how much he wanted this, and how much it meant to him.

"We're already a family." Tonks said and she kissed his cheek.

"I know. To extend our family, let's say." Remus said smiling.

"Exactly." She said and Remus kissed her nose. She moved to kneel on the bed, sitting on her heels, the quilt wrapped around her. "I'm almost on my feet." She said cheekily.

"You're going to be late." Remus said raising an eyebrow, looking at her from his pillow.

They both eventually decided to get up, and Remus prepared breakfast for them. They had little talks while eating – both of them seemed to be thinking about the same thing. It was her first day back to work. Remus couldn't help feeling a bit preoccupied, even if of course, he didn't doubt her skills as an Auror but now it seemed so much like the last time. He was afraid that one day she would walk through the door and never come back – and that was something he never wanted to happen.

When it was time for her to go, Tonks gave him a quick tender kiss and headed for the door. As he looked at her, he couldn't stop thinking about the risks of her job. He got up quickly and caught up with her.

"Dora!" Remus called.

She turned around and Remus looked at her, with a small smile on his face, he took the front of her cloak and pulled her toward him slowly. He kissed her, lingeringly, hoping that it showed her how much he loved her. They looked at each other smiling and she kissed him again.

"See you tonight." She said when they broke apart and she left.

Remus had to accept that it had started again.

All day long, he had to meet some people, willing to fight back Voldemort. He knew that not all of them would realize the risks it implied and they'd draw back.

The day was long, Remus was mainly repeated the same things again and again to different people. He was glad to come back home and he had the lovely surprise to see that Tonks was already there.

He walked across the room and wrapped his arms around her, resting his chin on her shoulder.

"Long day?" She asked.

"What gave me?"

"The long sigh when you closed the door." She said and he could hear the smile in her voice.

"How was your day?"

"Fine. I did mostly paper work. It was pretty boring. I only did a few rounds with Mad-Eye."

"You're starting slowly." Remus said – hoping to sound reassuringly. She nodded her head and turned around and kissed him on the cheek.

"See? I've cooked a bit."

"I can see that." Remus said with a smile on his face. Tonks had prepared spaghetti with a tomato sauce and some meat. They ate, talking about everything but work – both just wanted to think about something else. They laughed and joked and told each other funny stories about their day even if it was just silly things. Then they just both went to the living room and sat on the sofa. Remus took his book and tried to read but as it happened almost every evening, Remus lost concentration after having read just a few sentences. His mind was somewhere else: He was thinking about James, Lily, Sirius, they were all gone now. All his friends were gone and now there he was, alive and why? Why did he deserve to live while they had to die? He was a werewolf. Just a poor, old werewolf. Remus's bad thoughts were interrupted by Tonks's gentle hand in his hair. She had done it almost every evenings since Sirius's death… or more accurately, since they had been back from St Mungo. Remus hadn't even realized that his elbows were on his knees and he had rested his head in his hands, clutching his hair. He turned to look at her and she smiled reassuringly. He realized how patient she really was, how much she was necessary to more than his well-being, just his being. She was helping him living his grief, though Remus doubted she even knew how much she was helping. But she should know, she _should_ know what an amazing person she is. All the time she had told him he was selfless, but in reality she was the one who was selfless, the one was trying to make other feel better even before herself.

Remus placed his head on her lap and laid his legs on the sofa, it was a habit now. She'd run her fingers through his hair. The first time, Remus had apologized but she told him not to, and she just waited for him to feel better. The next time, she just waited for him to speak again. He had felt awkward, at first, he thought that she had seen him weak and selfish and he didn't know what he could say. But then he realized that she was there for him, and she didn't mind. But he still felt bad about it, he was being so overwhelmed by grief sometimes, he wondered how she was dealing with _her _grief_._

The days of the week happened very quickly, and it was already time to go to Kingcross station to get Harry.

Nymphadora would come directly from the Ministry while Remus would join them at the station. He found them; waiting for the train to come, Tonks looked at him smiling, and took his hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze quickly but then Mad-Eye wanted to check the station and she was gone. Molly and Arthur where there too, waiting for their kids.

"Remus, dear, how are you?" Molly asked.

"I'm fine, thank you, how are you?" Remus asked. Arthur nodded with a smile while Molly shrugged.

"I wish we could have kept Harry with us. What's he's going to do with these muggles who kept him in a cupboard?"

"Dumbledore already told you about this." Arthur said and he squeezed his wife's shoulder gently.

"I know, I know. I just don't think he's right this time."

"We need to trust him, Molly. I am sure he has his reason." Remus said.

Mad-eye and Tonks came back, and Lupin stayed next to her. He didn't want to go away from her because he knew he'd see Harry and he wondered how he'd be, but he knew that she'd help him keep composed if she was there. The train arrived, Remus glanced at Nymphadora and she winked at him smiling tenderly. Harry walked out of the train and was now in front of them.

_"Hello, Harry." _ Remus said. Molly pulled Harry in a big hug and he realized that she really meant it when she said he was as good as a son for her.

_"Hi. I didn't expect… what are you all doing here?"_

_"Well, we thought we might have a little chat with your aunt and uncle before letting them take you home."_

_"I dunno it that's a good idea._

_"Oh, I think it is." _Mad Eye said._ "That'll be them, will it Potter?"_

_"Good afternoon, you might remember me" _Arthur said on his most polite tone. _"My name is Arthur Weasley. We thought we'd just have a few words with you about Harry." _

_"Yeah, about how he's treated when he's at your place." _Mad-Eye said sharply.

_"I am not aware that it is any of your business what goes on in my house-" _Mr Dursley answered, chin up defiantly.

_"I expect what you're not aware of would fill several books, Dursley." _Mad-Eye said getting more annoyed by their behaviour.

_"Anyway, that's not the point" _Nymphadora said, sounding annoyed by them. No doubt, just as much as Remus was. Remus realized how Harry's aunt seemed deeply annoyed and disgusted by Nymphadora's pink hair. Muggles could be so judgmental sometimes._ "The point is, if we find out you've been horrible to Harry-" _

_"And make no mistake, we'll hear about it" _Remus add quietly but sounding threatening. Tonks nodded her head when he added this part.

_"Yes" _Arthursaid _"even if you won't let Harry use the fellytone-"_

_"Telephone." _Hermione whispered.

_"Yeah, if we get any hint that Potter's been mistreated in any way, you'll have us to answer to." _Moody added looking as threatening as when he talks to criminals.

_"Are you threatening me, sir?" _Mr Dursley asked. Bad idea. Very bad idea.

_"Yes, I am." _Mad-Eye answered simply.

_"And do I look like the kind of man who can be intimidated?" _Dursley barked, rising his chest like a rooster.

_"Well… Yes, I'd have to say you do, Dursley." _Mad-Eye answered sharply. No one intimidated Alastor Moody, especially not Harry's uncle. It seemed to shutHarry's relatives mouths and they all bid goodbye to Harry. When it was Remus's time to tell him goodbye, he had wished he could say something about Sirius but he realized that nothing could be enough and they had no time. But maybe, with their intervention, Harry would realized he was not alone, and he had a family, a strange family maybe, but a family all the same.

_ "Take care, Harry. Keep in touch." _Remus said quietly. They all parted and Remus and Nymphadora were left alone.

"Well, that went… not too bad." She said looking at him smiling.

"Yes, indeed." Remus said and they started to walk. The station was emptying slowly, there were still some families, greeting their children and walking with their trunks.

Nymphadora took his hand but didn't let go of it this time. She apparently didn't mind that people could be looking at her for being with a werewolf. She looked at him and said:

"Home?"

"Home." Remus repeated and he kissed the top of her head. He saw parents talking to their son and daughter, asking them how the travel was and Remus realized how much he'd love to come here one day, with Dora holding his hand, waiting for their child to come home for the holidays.

They walked out of the station and Remus followed her into a narrow street to disapparate but Tonks asked to go to Diagon Alley first. He followed her and when they were in the street he asked where she wanted to go.

"I just want to go to honey dukes, I want something."

"Nymphadora, do you really just want to buy sweets?" Remus asked laughing.

"Remus, do not _Nymphadora_ me!" She said laughing. "And yes, I want something." She said and she stuck her tongue at him. They were now in front of the store and Remus was about to open the door but she stopped him. "Nope! You stay outside! I won't be long!" She said and she rushed in. Remus felt really awkward waiting in front of a sweet shop. She walked out of the shop quickly with a paper bag in her hands.

"That's for you! But you'll wait till we're home to see what it is." She said apparently proud of herself.

"Alright." Remus said feigning not to care that much – and she didn't believe him of course, and rolled her eyes.

When they eventually were home, Tonks talked about Harry's relatives:

"Have you seen the way she avoided to look at me? I think it's my hair."

"She obviously has really poor taste." Remus said and he kissed her forehead. She smiled pleasantly and Remus kissed her cheek quickly.

"But it's not worse than the muggle people who die their hair! I really hope for them they will treat him fine!"

"Mad-eye really is scary when he is threatening someone." Remus said and she smiled.

"Yeah, he is. Anyway, Harry'll tell us if he is."

"I believe so, he would be eager to leave their house so I don't doubt he'd tell us." Remus said quietly. He tried to take the paper bag from her hand but she hid it behind her back. "What?" Remus asked smiling. She put her head on one side and Remus leaned to kiss her lingeringly. He was tender and loving, but he couldn't help but smile against her lips sometimes. When he broke up he looked at her mischievously.

"Do I get to see, now?" He asked.

"Alright." She surrendered and handed him the bag. He opened it, glancing at her and noticed her shy but proud smile and he realized why she was proud. It was a big – no, huge chocolate bar. His favourite one, the biggest they sold.

"Dora, you shouldn't have buy this one, it's the most expensive one. Let me pay you –"

"No way." She said firmly.

"At least half of it, since we're gonna share it." He offered.

"Nope." She said, still firmly. "It's just like when I'm the one who buy the food or you're the one, we share. It's my part for staying here." She said quietly and he understood what she meant, though he really didn't want to have to pay anything. So he kissed her again. It's been months they were together and he couldn't get tired of kissing her.

They ate a bit of chocolate in the sofa, talking about how Harry seemed quite alright, though he had circles under his eyes and what a strange family we must have seemed to the relatives. They were still talking when an owl tapped the window. Nymphadora got up to take the letter and fed the brown old.

"I think it's from Dumbledore." Nymphadora said as she untied the letter from the owl's leg.

"Read it." Remus said naturally.

"It's for _you." _She said frowning.

"I trust you with my life, Nymphadora, I think I can trust you with my mail." Remus said smiling but she really seemed touched by what he had said. It was the little things that mattered the most, he realized. Allowing someone to read your mail, preparing their favourite meal on a normal day just because you feel like doing so.

She walked to the sofa, holding the letter in her hand and started reading.

_"My Dear Remus," _she started and she ran her fingers through his hair as she spoke.

"_I would like you to meet me at my office, on Monday afternoon. Hagrid would be delighted to share some Jelly Belly Beans with you. I have a task that I would like to give you. I'll explain to you the details on Monday._

_Your friend,_ _Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore" _Tonks handed Remus the letter and kept running her fingers through his hair.

"Usually, when Dumbledore has a mission for me he just tells me during the Meetings." Remus said, thinking out loud. He wondered why Dumbledore would want to meet him, along in his office for a mission. What kind of mission would it be?

Nymphadora moved to sit next to him and rested her head on his shoulder.

"Maybe it's a secret mission."

"Hmm, surely yes." Remus said. Remus was almost sure he'd have to spy on a pack again. The last time he had had to do this, a few months ago, he had gone there for a few weeks. Maybe he'd have to live a month or two now. Remus took Nymphadora's hand and kissed her knuckles.

"Whatever it is, you're not alone." She whispered.

Remus was afraid that this mission was the call of Fate. _You've taken something that was not meant for you, Remus, _he thought. _You've lived a life that you did not deserve. You've had someone in your life that you did not deserve and now you have to give everything back._ This mission couldn't be a normal mission or Dumbledore wouldn't have asked to see him in his office, alone. Usually, he told him at the end of a meeting.

_You've been lucky for the past few months, but you don't deserve it._

* * *

_Hey everyone!_

_Sorry I took two weeks to update. I thought I'd have more time to write but I finish really late my days at work so I try to write as much as I can. _

_I hope you like this one! I'm long to write because I'm really careful because there are very important moments!_

_Don't hesitate to tell me what you think of it! What you like/dislike, as usual!_

_xx_

**_Thank you for the reviews and welcome to the new followers and people who favourited I hope I won't disappoint you._**

_PS: extracts in italics - dialogue - from HP and The Order Of The Phoenix p 765 and 766_

_PPS: I didn't re read because it's late now, i'll do it in the morning. Sorry if there are mistakes - I'm trying my best,__ I promise__ but now I know I won't see them, i'm tired. _


	51. The Fall

_I'm gonna climb on top of your ivory tower. I'll hold your hand and then we'll jump right out. We'll be falling but that's okay beause I'll be right here. I just wanna know: would you let me see beneath your beautiful?_

_Emili Sandé ft Labyrinth : __Beneath Your Beautiful _

* * *

They tell you it's hard to fall. It's not. You don't feel anything when you fall but when you land, when you crash, that's different. It's when you hit the floor that you realize what you've done, what happened.

Remus looked at Tonks and only saw the concern in her eyes. It wasn't her fault, he was the one looking stern and worried about his future meeting with Dumbledore. Usually, Dumbledore wouldn't have asked him to come to his office, not this way, not for a mission. During the first war, Remus already some mission he wished he didn't have but he knew he was the only who could do it so It was his duty to do it. Would he have to go to packs of werewolves again? Would he have to go there a month? Or two? That's what he kept thinking over and over again and Nymphadora had noticed it. When he was looking nowhere, his eyes fixed on a point she'd come closer and rest her hand on his knee or his shoulder – waiting for him to notice her.

He'd have to leave her, he knew. Maybe for a month – which wouldn't be _too_ bad – or more, what would she do? Wait for him? _Stop dreaming, Remus_. No, she was young. She'd forget him. And Remus knew he wouldn't leave one moth, no. He would leave several months, at least. Either it was a matter of time, or a matter of risks. Maybe Dumbledore would ask him to have a private meeting with Greyback. There had to be something for this meeting: it wasn't a simple mission.

Remus would come back, with more scars or after months of absence and she'd wonder who he was and why she had waste her time with him. She was too young, too beautiful, too lively, too precious for him. He knew that. She may love him now, she may think she loves him now but how long could it last? How could it last when he was… well, when he was him?

She just placed her head on his shoulder and she'd wait for him to say something. How could she even cope with him when he was so absent? But there she was, she was staying with him. _He just wished he could give her as much as she gave to him._ He raised her head with a finger under her chin and he kissed her: sometimes words couldn't be enough. She seemed surprised but responded with such tenderness he felt this twitch in his stomach: it was as if her love was palpable.

"You really are amazing, you know that?" Remus asked just a few inches to her lips.

"Am I?" She asked with a mischievous smile letting herself fall on the sofa.

"Yes, beautiful, and intelligent, too."

"Are you trying to turn me on by drowning me under compliments?" She asked clearly amused.

"Is it working?" Remus asked as he placed kisses on her face.

"Hmm.. Yes, but you don't need that. You really don't." She said as she wrapped her legs around his waist. She pulled his shirt out of his trousers and slid her hands under;

"Maybe I'm easy or maybe you're just awesome or…"

"Or?" Remus asked, looking at her fingers unbuttoning his shirt.

"Or maybe we're just a good match." Remus got closer and kissed her and tried to forget about his anxiety about the oncoming mission because for the moment she was there for him and nothing else mattered. They were together.

He managed to get her out of her clothes quite quickly: he just wanted to feel her skin, her warmth against him. Just her. She turned to make a place for him next to her but she rolled a bit too much and she fell down on the floor. Remus couldn't help but laugh when he saw the pink haired head looking up. Instead of helping her get up, he moved on the floor with her. He was playing with her green knickers and laughed again.

"Don't make fun of me, Remus." She said punching him playfully.

"My clumsy Dora." Remus said and he kissed her.

"You think calling me Dora is enough to make me not realize that you're making fun of me?" She asked against his lips.

"I hoped so." He answered sheepishly and then he kissed her so passionately that she was speechless. And soon, the rest of their clothes was all around them, completely useless.

Nymphadora had her arm around his waist, while Remus was playing with her hair. He took his wand, abandoned next to them and with a quick wave the blanket on the settee was on top of them. He realized that she was the only one with whom he felt completely at ease – whatever this mission is, he only prayed that it would take her away from his life. She rested her chin on his chest and looked at him, apparently amused.

"What?" Remus asked his lips already curling because of her contagious smile.

"I was just thinking… If someone had told me when I met you, that I'd have sex with you on the floor of your living room a year later –"

"You'd have run away?"

"Nope." She said and she moved close enough to give him a brief kiss. "I would have said 'Why wait a year?'" and she kissed him again.

"When you had met me? Really?" Remus asked raising an eyebrow.

"Alright, after a few weeks." She said rolling her eyes. Remus cupped her face and pulled her into a tender kiss.

"I love you, Dora. I really do. Don't forget that." He said almost desperately.

"Remus you don't have to say that." She whispered.

"Dora I mean it, I do."

"I love you too. She said and she left a quick kiss on his lips but Remus didn't want to break apart and just when her lips were just inches away he pulled her into a kiss again

Too soon, it was Monday and Remus had his meeting with Dumbledore. Time flew: oh, he had wished it would take long to go to Hogwarts but it seemed just a minute.

He found himself in the office of his old professor, looking at him preparing tea and waiting to hear what he'd have to do.

"Remus, would you like some tea?"

"No, I'm fine, Sir."

"I heard you had a word with Harry at the station?" The elder man said with a peaceful smile. Remus always wondered how he could always look so peaceful.

"Indeed, he seemed quite glad that we were all here for him. His loss was so unpredictable. He wasn't prepared. Are we ever prepared anyway?"

"I doubt it very much." Dumbledore answered calmly as he sat behind his office. "You may have an idea why I asked you to meet me,"

"I do." Remus asked but he didn't want to develop his answer. He wanted to hear it and be done with it. It was exhausting to feel the worst.

"The mission I am going to give you will take time and strength. You are the only one who can do it, I am afraid. But it doesn't mean I am forcing you into it and you have all the rights to refuse." Remus did not move his eyes from the old man who was wearing his light blue cloak, always looking peaceful. "I would like you to go into a pack of werewolves, not to talk to them but to get into the pack as close as Greyback as possible, though I doubt you can approach him."

_Greyback. No._ Remus thought. Greyback was the one who had bit him as a child. He was known to like young children and to have absolutely no principles.

"It will take time, because you will have to earn their trust and it is going to be far away. There are a lot of risks in this mission, more than in the previous ones."

"I'll do it."

"You should take time and think about this decision." Dumbledore said quietly as if he had known exactly what Remus was going to say.

"As you said, I am the only who can do it." Remus said but he did not recognize his own voice. It was like he was not in his body, as if his mind had wandered away and his body was acting on its own.

"I know. But you should think about it, Remus."

"If you offered me this mission, it means you weren't waiting for a refusal." Remus said.

"You are right. But I don't want you to regret your decision."

"I won't. When do I leave?"

"If you are sure to leave, it means you may leave on Wednesday, the sooner or you can leave at the end of the week."

"Wednesday… as in two days?"

"I know someone who could lead you to a village where a new pack settled. It would be the perfect time."

"Alright. Do you need me here any longer?"

"No, Remus. I don't. You can draw back away whenever you want, Remus."

"As close as Greyback as possible is what you asked, isn't it?"

"It is. But if you don't show up on Wesdnesday, Remus. It is fine, you can leave later."

"So I meet you here? Wedsneday?"

"At 6pm."

"Alright."

After what seemed to be an eternity, Remus was out of Hogwarts. It was really strange to see the castle so empty and silent. Remus took his time when he walked to the gate, he just looked around and thought about what had just happened.

He was leaving for an indefinite time to a pack of werewolves.

Remus had spent almost his whole life avoiding pack of werewolves and now he was forced to go to them. Maybe that was fate. Maybe he was meant to live with people like him – maybe he had never deserved the life he had lived so far. The Order, Nymphadora, they had all made him feel normal and almost good enough but it was all wrong.

He walked out of Hogwarts and then disapparated to a quiet place where he could walk and think over and over again about this mission. Wedsneday. Two days. Two bloody days. How was he supposed to tell that to Tonks?

Nymphadora.

What would happen to them? That the question he had tried to avoid as he walked, but he couldn't anymore – he had tried to think about everything: what would he take? How would it be? How would they be? Would he have to change names? Would he come back? He had tried really hard to think about everything but her but it wasn't possible anymore. He'd have to tell her.

What would she think? Would she be mad at him? Would she leave him? She'd better leave him. Dumbledore insisted on the fact that it would take a long time and it would be dangerous. She'd better leave him. She would forget him anyway, wouldn't she? She's too young, too lively, too beautiful and intelligent not to attract all the young smart handsome men. She'd forget him quickly and that was what was best. She'd better forget him. He was not worth her time, not worth her love.

It was the late afternoon when Remus decided it was time to come back home. He would see Nymphadora. He feared to see her, to confront her but at the same time all he wanted to do was to come back home and tell her because she'd find the words and she'd reassure him.

He apparated in front of his house, and he quietly walked to the door as casually as possible. He opened the door and took off his coat feeling the tension overwhelm the place.

"You're back." She simply stated. No rush of questions: she'd wait for him to speak. She stood up and looked at him failing to hide her concern.

"Yes." Remus answered just to say something, just because he wouldn't bare silence; not that kind of silence and especially not with her. "Dumbledore wants me to go in a pack."

"You mean like the other times?" He knew she referred to the several missions where he had to talk to some pack to ask them to be on his side and not Voldemort's.

"No, as a member of the pack. And he wants me to get as close as Greyback as possible, though he doubts I'll get to his close circle."

"That's madness." She said, her voice breaking.

"I'm the only one who can do it."

"That's not an argument."

"It is. Greyback's on their side. I'll know if they plan something."

"What if they know you're only spying on them? They'd kill you… they…"

"That is a risk."

"That's not…. No!" She started to speak louder apparently very much annoyed by his composed stature.

"I'm the only one who can do it. It is my duty."

"No, it's not. Being a werewolf does not mean you have to be willing to sacrifice yourself, your life."

"I don't have the choice, Nymphadora." Remus said trying to remain calm but he spoke louder than he had intended.

"You do.." She whispered. Why couldn't she just say that it was the moment for them to part? Why couldn't she see how wrong everything was? "Well, we'll manage, won't we…" She whispered as she made a step closer to Remus. "When do you leave?"

"Nymphadora.." Remus said quietly. "Uhm… Wednesday" How was he supposed to say that they had to go part now?

"Wednesday… it's…" She swallowed looking more and more concerned every second. "Why do I have the impression you've already made your decision about everything, haven't you?"

"It is better if we go on separate ways from now. It's what's best."

"For me, or for you?"

"You." Remus whispered.

"How do you know?"

"I've seen it, Nymphadora. The first time, I've seen people leaving on mission and I've seen how they were forgotten. You will forget me at some point. You won't have to feel guilty if you do, that way."

"Do you have so little faith in me?"

"I do not blame you: you're only human. You're young, incredibly smart and beautiful: you will find someone else and you'll realize that I did not deserve you at all." His voice was sharper than he had intended. He wanted her to… to what? Hate him? Despise him? Or did he just want to keep this place in her heart, in her life? He couldn't be selfish. Not this time. Not anymore. You had your chance, Remus, but it was all a dream, a beautiful dream.

"But I don't care. She said quietly, her voice shaking. "I won't forget you if it lasts months or even years. I'll wait."

"We don't know how long it will last? It could last as long as this war, it could last years! You can't wait! Especially not for me. I am not worth it. I am not worth you time…" he said "not worth your love." He whispered.

"I think this decision is up to me to make."

"I am choosing what is best for you!" Remus shouted. Why couldn't she understand what and why he was doing it. There was a pause, a long silence between them. She was looking at him: her eyes tearing.

"But… Remus, this is so dangerous, way more dangerous than what any of us have ever done."

"Please, don't ask me to stay." Remus begged. The impassive expression he had tried to hold all along seemed to have broken. He could never lie to her. "Don't ask me to stay because I'll be tempted to accept but it's my duty. I'd be useless if I refused working for the Order is the only thing I've done. I can't fail Dumbledore."

She seemed to understand because the next second she was holding him tightly and reassuringly. How was he supposed to live without her?

"It's my duty. I have to. I can't fail Dumbledore. He has done so much to me." Remus said getting lost in her embrace. He broke down. At this moment, he realized what he had accepted and how much he actually liked his life. His life among the wizards,

"Shh, I understand." She said stroking his hair.

"I can't fail him." Remus whispered.

"I know. I believe in you, Remus." She whispered. She moved away to look at him and brushed his hair away from his eyes and she smile tentatively. "Do you want to eat something? I can cook something for you, it'd make you feel better. You must have some chocolate, here." She said searching in his pocket of his trousers and indeed, she found a bar of honeydukes chocolate. She took it and broke a piece of chocolate and handed it to him. "I'll cook something, you haven't eaten much today." Remus wondered why she wanted so much to cook but then he thought that maybe it was her way to manage not to cry and break down with him. There were tears in her eyes but she seemed to stay strong for him and tonight, he didn't have the force to leave her. He didn't have the force to do anything so he sat at the table and just nodded his head from time to time.

"Alright, we have some pasta and a steak for you, is it ok for you?"

"I'm not hungry." He mumbled.

"You need to eat, Remus. You can't starve yourself before a mission. You haven't eaten yesterday nor today."

"Nymphadora we – "

"No, Remus. You're not breaking up with me tonight. Someone needs to take care of you and I'm here. I'm always here, didn't I already tell you?"

And she was. Remus had told her several minutes ago that they had to part but there she was placing a plate in front of him and waiting for him to eat while she pretended to eat. He found himself hopeless and useless: it was as if he couldn't feel anything because he had been feeling too much.

Nymphadora seemed to understand because she didn't talk much but she took care of him and helped him into bed. They lay next to each other and Remus felt better when he just closed his eyes and hold onto her. It was silly, but her warmth, her comfort made him forget for a second that he was most likely to die in a few days or weeks if he was lucky.

They fell asleep and woke up together, looking at each sadly knowing that what had happened the evening before was not a dream.

Remus decided to prepare his bag in the morning and Tonks helped him, trying to fold his clothes but often failed – though, Remus never minded. He noticed that sometimes she could not prevent tears from falling but he did not know what to do, what to say. _I'm sorry I have to leave on a mission but it only means you'll have the chance to move on?_

Remus tried not to think that he was probably going to die in a few weeks or months – he tried not to think that he wouldn't see her face again, feel her skin under his hand.

"You should take some jumpers if you're leaving for the winter." She said looking into the closet.

"The one you gave me for Christmas?" Remus asked when he saw her holding this last one. She kept looking at it as if she hadn't heard what he had just said and then he saw the tears rolling down her cheeks. "Dora.." Remus whispered.

"I'm sorry." She said quickly and she turned her back to him.

"Dora, come here." Remus said and he pulled her into a tight hug. "It's gonna be alright. You are going to be alright."

"I don't care about me!" She shouted against his chest.

"But I care about you. I only care about you." Remus said smiling sadly.

"I… I know you're doing your duty but I don't like it." She said searching every word awkwardly.

"It's going to be fine." Remus lied. He doubted it. He clearly doubted it.

They finished his packing and in the early afternoon, Nymphadora left for the ministry. During this time, Remus tried to think about this whole situation.

Nymphadora.

What should he do?

No, he knew what he had to do. He knew he had to break up with her, to tell her to find someone else because he knew she could. He knew she deserved someone better.

He remembered her words : _"What if they know you're only spying on them? They'd kill you… they…" They'd take revenge on you_, Remus thought. That was what Greyback liked to do. He had bitten Remus to get revenge on his father so if they knew they'd attack her, bite her, kill her. No, he couldn't risk it. He had to break up with her. He had to have no attachment. When he would come back, he would wait for her and tell her. Maybe she would be sad for a moment, but Remus was not a big loss and she would forget him. The sooner, the better.

When he felt the air getting chillier he decided to go home. When he walked into the house he heard some noise coming from the bedroom so he followed the sound. There she was, his Nymphadora, packing her clothes into a bag. Maybe she had been thinking, too. Maybe she had decided that she'd better leave him now.

"Hello." Remus said leaning on the door frame.

"Wotcher, Remus." She said half-heartedly. "I'm taking my clothes. I got assigned to hogsmeade. They want me to go there from August till the end of the school year and since you're leaving… wed… w-…"

"You can come here whenever you want. If you have a problem, I'll show you the spells. You are free to come here whenever you want or need." Remus said quietly.

"I don't want to be here if you're not." She said and she wiped a tear with the back of her sleeve.

"About us, I have been thinking."

"No, Remus. No." She said shaking her head. She didn't even know what he was going to say, Remus thought – but then she knew him better than anyone, better than even himself.

"It is better if we part now."

"No." She said still avoiding his eyes. "I'll wait."

"No, you won't. I won't allow it."

"It's not your choice to make."

"You are obviously not able to make choices for your own safety, someone has to do it." Remus said sharply. She looked up, raising her eyebrows. "If my cover is corrupted, they will attack you. That is how Greyback works. He attacked me because he had a problem with my father so who do you think he would attack in my case?"

"I'm an Auror, I can't defend myself."

"I won't risk it." Remus said stubbornly.

"So what do you want? Do you want to break up with me now? And spend your last night alone?"

"The later, the harder, Nymphadora."

"No. You're wrong." She said, her voice breaking on every word. "I want to spend those last few moments with you because I know I we won't meet before a few weeks, or more."

"Nymphadora.." Remus said weekly. She walked across the room until she was just a meter from him.

"Remus, we both need it." She whispered and she stepped closer and kissed him on the cheek then made her way to his lips. And he gave up, he completely gave up and kissed her. After a linger kiss he cupped her face in his hands and looked at her.

"This is farewell." He said and he saw the tears overwhelming her eyes and he kissed her. And they kissed desperately, holding onto each other. It didn't take them long to make their way to the bed and this time, every move was slow and careful. They were both trying to memorize every little thing. And Remus meant it when he said it was their farewell, their way to say goodbye, to leave each other properly. The last moment he'd prove her he loved her, he really loved her. He had made sure to kiss every inch of her skin, make sure he had kissed her properly, let himself drown in the scent of her hair.

The next day, everything happened too quickly: they didn't talk very much, and he finished packing with her at his side. She tried to help him, and she made sure he took everything he could need. She kept giving him advice about what he should do if he had to survive without money. She kept telling him that if he ever needed some help she was there, she would always be there for him. _Always._

When it was time for him to leave, he showed her the spell that protected the house and told her that if she had a problem, she could come here, it would always be safe for her. It was an awkward situation: they both knew how it would end but at the same time, neither wanted to go there.

When it was time to leave, Tonks said:

"I'll wait for you, Remus. I'll wait for this mission to be over."

"It could last months, or more. I think… I think I had been lucky but I can't sweep your life away from you. I can't ask you to wait for me. You'll regret it. I have nothing to offer you. Look at me." He said taking her face in his hands. "You'll be fine. I have loved you very dearly and I always will. But it is for the best and I can't egoistically act upon my feelings in spite of your safety. I am giving you back the real life you deserve. You'd be so unhappy with me, you may not realize now but with time, you will. Trust me when I tell you you'll be fine."

Tonks was crying silently, Remus was surprised she hadn't say anything yet, maybe she believed him. He was fighting this selfish part of him who didn't want her to believe him. But this part had taken so much from her already, he had to shut it down and he had to let her go.

"But Remus, I love you and I don't want you to leave me. I told you I'll wait." She reached for his wrist and held them as she talked, looking at him straight in the eyes. "Everything you've said was wrong. I'll wait."

"Please don't!" He said shouting but actually, he sounded desperate.

"I don't care how long this mission will last." She said just as desperately as he was. Remus closed his eyes; he had to say it out loud. It would kill him but he had to say it. He moved his hands away from her face and put them in his pockets.

They left for Grimmauld Place together, because she had insisted to come with him. Remus had tried to discourage her but she wouldn't listen to him. She was stubborn. She really was. And there was a part of him that was glad she was, because he was glad she'd be there for a last goodbye.

They walked into the old house, where his best friend had lived during the last year. This old empty house, so full of happy memories now was just the worst place to be. He walked to the kitchen and found Dumbledore speaking with Arthur and Molly Weasley who were already there.

"You will forgive me for telling your friends. I thought that you should not go without saying goodbye."

"I didn't want to bother you." Remus said looking from Arthur to Molly. Tonks stayed behind him, her arms folded in front of her chest, trying to smile to the couple.

"You never bother us, Remus, don't be silly." Molly said.

Remus was standing next to Dumbledore near the kitchen's door.

"Remus, you should say goodbye to your friends, you won't see them before a few months."

Remus looked from Dumbledore to Molly and Arthur who were both standing, leaning on the kitchen counter. Arthur hand out his hand and Remus shook it smiling at him, Arthur only nodded. They didn't need words because neither of them exactly spoke about how they feel.

Molly hugged him and said "Take care of you Remus. I hope to see you soon and in a good shape, alright?"

"I will Molly. Take care" Remus said smiling at her. She did have an obsession with his weight.

They all looked at Tonks and Molly found a lame excuse for the three of them to go to the living room. Tonks and Remus were now left in the kitchen, looking at each other.

"This is it." She said trying to smile but couldn't make it.

"Yes." Remus said and he got closer.

"You'll be fine. And you stay safe, alright? No 'I'm an Auror' thing for me." Remus tried to joke but his heart was not in it.

"Well, I am an Auror." She said rolling her eyes. She sighed and looked at him almost crying now. "I'm going to miss you."

"You'll be fine."

"I won't. Stop saying I will because I won't." She said shaking her head.

"Nymphadora, you are young."

"Age has nothing to do with this situation. I love you and you're leaving."

"And I could be dead in a few months, you'd better move on right now." Remus said but he regretted the way he had spoken. It was not the moment to be harsh, not with her.

"No. You'll make it. You're not going to… No." She said stubbornly.

"Please, Nymphadora, don't wait for me. I am not worth it." Remus said getting closer. _Why was he getting closer?_

"I love you." She said and she threw herself in his arms.

"I love you too." Remus said sounding desperate. He didn't really want to say it, it wouldn't help her moving on but it was the last time he'd embrace her.

"I will think about you, every day." She whispered in his ear. "You'll come back to me."

She gave him a kiss, a too brief, tender kiss. A kiss to say goodbye and Remus realized how much he didn't want to say goodbye.

They were looking at each other, as if trying to get the image imprint in their memory. Dumbledore came back in the room with Arthur and Molly.

"Are we ready to go?" Dumbledore asked smiling.

"I think -" Remus started but he was cut by Tonks who run to hug him again. She had wrapped her arms around his waist; he caressed her back with his hand and put the other in her hair. It was no longer pink, she just had them a mousy brown since Sirus's death.

"I am going to be fine Dora" he started "and so are you". He was sure she would understand what he meant. It meant that it was time for her to forget him and to move on. It was time for her to find someone better, younger, who's not a werewolf, and richer too. Remus kissed the top of Tonks's head.

Remus looked at Molly, trying to ask her to take care of Tonks with no words and apparently she must have understand what he meant by this look because when they broke apart and Molly put an arm around Tonks's shoulders.

Remus and Dumbledore apparated to a place Remus did not recognize. They were in the street of what seemed to be a small village and Remus followed the old Professor who started to walk. Remus was still thinking about Tonks. He would miss her, her stubbornness, her spontaneity –

"You know everyone deserves to love and to be loved" Dumbledore said looking at Remus, raising an eyebrow.

"I know, but she deserves someone much better." Remus answered quickly. He did not want to talk about her, not with his former Professor.

"I was not only talking about Nymphadora" Dumbledore answered. Remus could not look at him, he felt guilty for making her so sad, Remus had noticed the bubblegum pink colour fading as they bid goodbye.

"I am sure there is a man out there than, way better than me who will be much better than me. Younger, richer, and who won't be a werewolf. And he'll make her happy. If she is, I will"

"That's very nice of you Remus. You've always been genuine even in your youth. But, Remus, do you really think there is someone who will love her more than you do?"

Remus did not answer because he couldn't say yes. Remus thought that he loved her so much that no one could love her even as much as he does. He loved everything about her; even her flaws, especially her flaws: the little things, the everyday things. Her ruffled hair in the morning, her clumsiness.

"That's what I thought. From my experiences, I know women are cleverer than men; she just understood it before you and I don't doubt one day you will" Remus shook his head. He would never do that to her he thought. Dumbledore smiled and they started talking about the pack and how Remus planed entering it. There was not really any plan and Remus wondered what he had walked into and how he was supposed to get in a pack of werewolves when he had lived his whole life among wizards, trying to get accepted. Dumbledore kept giving him advices on how to approach everything.

Remus looked around him. As if the whole world was making fun of him: clouds moved and quickly overwhelmed the sun until we couldn't see an inch of it. Maybe she had been the light in his life, after all. The bright bubblegum pink sun in the sky that was able to turn the whole world colourful after years of dull solitude that had turned his whole world to grey. He hadn't realized what she had done – well, maybe he had realized but he had not realized the whole impact of her presence in his life. He had only seen the emerging side of the iceberg. He wondered if he'd have the chance to feel happy again but then he realized he had given up on her. She would feel happy and it should make him – if not happy – stay alive at least so that he would see her smiling face knowing that he would never have the chance to touch it again.

* * *

_Hey!_

_**I'm sorry it took me so long to update again**__. I'm so tired when I get back to work I write a little so it takes me long to write a chapter and especially this one I think because it's so sad I didn't really want to write it. I don't think I'm really good with angst anyway, I'm sorry._

_I will REALLY try to update sooner next time. I know I always tell the same things again, but I'm really sorry! _

_**Thanks for the reviews as always! I always appreciate them and it's always very nice**__! Don't hesitate to review to tell me what you like/dislike, as usual!_

_To the guest: I know, for the first chapter, that they are written a bit in block I have to change them! I'll try to find the time to do it soon._

_I'm really sorry again!_

_ xx_


	52. The cold ground I

Gone. He was gone. Where? She had absolutely no idea and she doubted she'd ever know. But she could feel something, a pain in her chest. A pain as if someone was breaking every bone in her chest, ripping her heart out and prevented her to breathe with her lung. It hurt. It physically hurt and she wondered why her brain would give her such a hard pain on top of every feelings she had right now.

He had gone. He had just broke up with her and gone to a place where he could be killed any second the moment they'd discover his goal. So that was that? The goal of the Order of the Phoenix? She had been so proud to get in, to fight t=for the good. For the good of the people who can't fight, who are too scared to fight. She they had to sacrifice themselves, uh? That was it, the great Order?

Molly was trying to talk to her, in vain. Nymphadora's brain was somewhere else, was giving order to her whole body to ache so bad that she'd lost it. She'd become mad if her chest kept aching so bad. She didn't want to hear Molly tell her they were going to be alright, they wouldn't be alright; Remus was in an unknown place trying to get in a pack of werewolves. She knew what it'd cost him, she knew he had tried his whole life to belong here – no he had not tried. He belonged there. He really did belonged there. There was no point arguing on that point. He was a human being who deserved the best and he had been sent to a place where he'd had to pretend to be what he had rejected his whole life. It was unfair. Completely unjust. But the pain did not less knowing this, quite the opposite, she thought her chest would explode.

"I need – I gotta go." She said as she ran out of Grimmauld Place. She wished Sirius had been there. She wished he had been there like the last time Remus had to leave. He had reassured her, and Remus had come back. But this time, Remus was leaving for months, not weeks and Sirius was dead. It was unfair, Remus had just lost his best friends just a few weeks ago. She ran in the streets and felt the wind in her face. Damn the wind, damn the fucking wind and this city, damn everyone, she thought. Dumbledore had taken Remus away from her, he had taken him away while he was trying to accept that he deserved a real life and love. Would he ever come back to her? _I am selfish,_ she thought. She was only thinking about her, and not Remus. He was the one who would have it hard, out there. Would he find a place to sleep, tonight? Would he go to the pack right away? Or wait? She trusted him for this mission. She fully and wholly trusted him to make the good choices. And he was a good fighter but would he take his wand? Hide it, probably.

So many questions that wouldn't be answered.

It was frustrating, and now she had deserved a headache with all this thinking.

She found a narrowed street and disapparated. A few seconds later she was at her flat, but there was a cut from her shoulder to her waist.

"Great! Just great!" She shouted. She found her wand and thought a second about what to do. She could try to heal herself but it could also make it worse. Molly. She would call Molly. Think about a happy memory. She tried to forget the last hour and searched for a happy memory in her brain. She thought about the first time she met Remus and Sirius at Grimmauld Place. She thought about the first time he admitted he had feelings for her – though at the time he refused to act upon them. She thought about their first _real_ kiss. She thought about their first night together, Christmas, New Year, when they went on the seashore together. How he held her hand and wouldn't let go of her. How he held her tight against his chest and she had never felt so loved and so in love at the same time.

"Expecto Patronum!" She said and she saw the silver cloud coming out of her wand but there was no chameleon, no. It was a wolf – no, a werewolf. It was Remus. The silver wolf walked around her and looked at her. She sighed and let her head fall on the floor "You'll never leave me, uh?" She said. She was talking to a patronus, what a good Auror she made. "Molly, I splinched. Could you come and help me, please?" She said to the wolf – to her wolf – and the patronus flied away by the window.

Tonks waited several minutes before Molly apparated in her building. She heard her whisper _alohomora _ and looked away when she opened the door.

"Oh, Tonks." The ginger woman said as she kneeled next to her. She waved her wand just a few inches from Tonks's wound and it healed. It was twice smaller and Molly took a bandage from her cloak pocket and made a bandage for Tonks. She had never felt so humiliated in one day, in just a few hours. She had completely broke down in front of Molly and Arthur and now they would knew she had splinched. Nymphadora Tonks, the Auror. What a joke.

Molly reached out her hand to help Tonks getting up and they sat at the kitchen table.

"Do you want some tea, Molly?" Nymphadora asked forcing a smile.

"If you are taking some, I'd love to."

Tonks took two cups with shaking hands so Molly helped her with a few waves of her wand. Tonks sat on her chair and let her head fall in her hands.

"I'm sorry."

"And may I know what you are sorry for?"

"For being such a mess." Tonks said in a low voice.

"Don't apologize; It is normal that you are feeling… well, the way you are now. I would not judge you." Molly made poured the water in their cups and Tonks felt glad knowing that she had a friend.

"I know, thank you Molly." Tonks said.

"Why don't you come for dinner tonight?" Molly asked on a tender motherly tone.

"Not.. not tonight." Tonks said her voice shaking. She just wanted to go to her bed and stop moving hoping that she'd wake up and realized that everything had only been a bad dream.

"Alright, whenever you're ready." Molly said with a tentative smile. She finished her tea, got up and adjusted the cloak she had on her shoulders.

"Tomorrow… I'll come by tomorrow."

"You can come whenever you want, Tonks. Or you can send me your patronus, alright?" Tonks realized that she did have made friends with the Order.

Later that night, Tonks was lying in bed. She had not eaten anything, she had just waited in bed. She couldn't sleep so she looked at her window: the sun was going down slowly. Would Remus find a place to sleep tonight? She'd never know. Would he be cold? She hoped it was a warm night. As she thought about him she couldn't stand her covers, she couldn't stand being comfortable in her bed so she got up quickly, opened the window and sat in the chair next to the window. She waited, looking outside, tears rolling down her cheeks from times to times. She kept thinking about what he had told her and wondered if it was really the end for them.

She couldn't believe it. She couldn't believe she'd never see his face again, his sandy brown hair falling on his eyes when he was asleep, his long fingers on her skin. He had left just a few hours ago but she was missing him already. She was missing him when he was still in the room with her. Why did everything have to be so messed up? Why things couldn't be simple? Voldemort was getting more and more powerful, Sirius was dead and now Remus had to be taken away? It was too much for her. It would be too much for any human being. But at least she was in her flat, in a city she knew well, she had Molly who said she'd come if she was needed, her mother…

Ah, the last time she had seen her mother.

She had not seen her mother for quite a long time and she had to fight with herself to tell her that Sirius was dead. She could see the face of her mother again, trying to remain composed.

_"Well, that was bound to happen at some time, wasn't it? Everything is just so… so like the last time." She said in a very quiet tone. Andromeda got up, a long curly black hair falling down her back. Tonks never thought she looked much like her mother – she looked more like her father. She had his eyes and his hair, though she did have her mother's hands and her nose. She was a good mix of the two._

_Andromeda tried to make some tea for her daughter and her but she couldn't hold the cup in her hand._

_"I don't know why I feel so sad, really. I haven't _seen_ him in ages." She said, her voice shaking. Tonks looked at her father who was about to get up to comfort Andromeda but Tonks nodded her head and got up. She took her mother's hand and Andromeda leaned on her, crying like Tonks had rarely seen her cry before._

Would she lose everyone? Would she lose someone else, again?

She would never let Remus down, she couldn't. He needed her, though he claimed the opposite, so she'd stay by his side even if it meant to wait for him miles away.

Time flew. Days passed and she didn't notice them. She noticed the nights, every night was a nightmare. Either she'd have a real nightmare where she'd see Remus being taken away from her all over again, she'd imagine his conditions and it broke her heart just to imagine where he could be, how he would feel.

After a week or two, she had to search a flat in hogsmeade. It took her three days. She visited a dozen of flats and even considered taking a room in a hotel but then she found it. It was small, way smaller than _her_ flat. Her couch was her bed, she had no bedroom; there was a little kitchen but she didn't feel like cooking any day soon. She didn't feel like doing anything any time soon. Sometimes she realized she could spend more two days without eating anything and she'd force herself to eat something because she felt her body getting weaker and she still had her job to keep.

Her job.

She hated her job.

The day after Remus left, Tonks woke up with brown hair. She was not surprised, she felt miserable but when several of her colleagues told her "Where's your pink hair?" so one day, she wanted to morph her hair – not pink, not pink he Remus wasn't here – blue but she couldn't. She looked at the mirror, closed her eyes and concentrated. When she opened her eyes, her hair was still this mousy brown that she hated. She tried to change her eyes colour, anything but she couldn't. Her body wouldn't change anything. She remembered how her hair could turn red when she was angry so now that she was feeling miserable she couldn't morph? Damn. She'd never see her pink hair again. Pink was his colour. Pink was the colour she wore when she was happy and she knew she'd never feel happy again if he was miles away on a bloody mission.

She moved to her new flat, leaving most of the furniture from her former flat at her parents. She only kept a box where she had put all of her decorations sometimes she looked at it but she couldn't open it. Her new flat was empty of any personality, it was not hers, it was only a flat she had to use for a mission. She only kept one thing, a picture of Remus with her that Sirius had taken – she could see the reflect of Sirius in the window behind them. She remembered this moment perfectly and she just wished she could go back there.

_"Come on, I want a picture of my best friend with my cousin!" Sirius said happily. _

_"Alright." Tonks obliged – though she did not feel forced at all. She pulled Remus towards her and he sat next to her. She looked at him, enjoying seeing him blush boyishly._

_"You really do make a great couple." Sirius said smiling genuinely at them. "I hope I'll be your best man, Remus!" Now it was Tonks's time to blush madly and she noticed that Remus was doing all the same but he smiled at her, as if he was asking her if she'd marry him with his eyes. Of course she'd marry him, she'd say yes a thousand times to this man._

_"Alright, look at me now!" Sirius said. Tonks looked at the camera but when Sirius clicked she couldn't help but give Remus a kiss on the cheek that surprised him. He glanced at her smiling and looked back at the camera. Sirius shook his head in disbelief – Tonks could never keep a straight face when they took a picture. The small photo popped out of the camera and he handed it to them and he made a double for him._

_Remus gave her a kiss on the cheek as he looked at the picture and pulled her closer to him. _

_"I can see myself in the window!" Sirius said joyfully._

_"Let's take a picture all together!" Tonks said and they did as she said. Remus had this picture in his house in a frame on his cupboard._

A few days later, Dumbledore called the auror for a briefing in his office. School would start in a month and they had to start the round from now. He explained them all the details of the missions – though Tonks was listening, she couldn't look at him. She couldn't look at the man who had sent Remus away, who had taken everything away from him. He told them they could organize themselves as they liked. He added that Tonks was requested inside the castle because she was the youngest of them all and it was better for the children. When the briefing was over, he told them they could leave but called Tonks.

"Miss Tonks, may I have a word about the mission?"

"Of course, sir." She said politely.

"I requested you inside the castle, because I trust you."

"Thank you."

"But I do believe you have something to tell me." He said very quietly and she looked up at him. "About our common friend, Remus." He added.

She was at a loss of word.

"I noticed that you could not look at me and that is very unlike yourself."

"Maybe yes, as a matter of fact, I do." She said. She could not control herself. "You've taken everything away from him. With all my respect, this mission is wrong and I am sure you know that too. It took him so long to allow himself to start living again, to accept that he had the right to a normal life. I think he let me in, he really did but when you told him for this mission he just thought that he'd never deserve a normal life after all. And that is wrong. So, excuse me sir, but I can't forgive what you're doing to him."

"I have taken him away from you." He said quietly.

"Yes. You can call me selfish, you have taken him from me and from the life he deserves. I am far from perfect but I could have made him happy but now he is miles away and I don't even know if he's alright! I don't know if he's alive! I don't know anything!" She shouted. She was shouting at her former professor that she respected.

"I am sorry, Miss Tonks. I am doing this for the good of the Order and our common mission."

"Maybe he is more important than all of this." She said and she realized that she really should stop talking now. "May I leave, now?"

"Yes, Miss Tonks. And I do hope that you will forgive me or at least understand me." He said but Tonks did not answer and she ran away in the backyard of the castle.

She couldn't believe what she had done. Remus would hate her for this, damn if he knew. She closed her eyes, the wind messed up her hair and tears rolled down her cheeks.

* * *

Hey, it's a bit short sorry but it's because I'll make Remus part in a different chapter! I hope you like it. I'm again very** sorry** to be so long to update but I really have no time to write because when I'm home I am so tired I can't. Really sorry again! In two weeks or so, I shouldn't have as much work so I'll try to write more and take some advance!

I hope you like it, though. Review and** tell me what you think.** :)

xx


End file.
